


Fly a little Higher, Be a little Stronger

by NataliciousJ



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Graduation, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sleepovers, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Team as Family, Teenage Drama, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 02:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 142,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NataliciousJ/pseuds/NataliciousJ
Summary: Highschool life  comes with a lot of struggle, specially when you have a group of boys with a passion for volleyball and a deep love for each other. For the next few years they will learn, gain friends for life, and get in a lot of trouble.Kageyama Tobio just wants to play volleyball, and he wants to win, that's his plan. What he did not count for was a bright-haired small guy getting in his way, in more ways than one. With this, Kageyama can't even imagine what he is in for, and what will become of his life after meeting his spiker.Daichi firmly believes he has a perfect life: he has a team that he considers his family, he gets to play his favorite sport with his friends, and he has Suga by his side. Nothing could go wrong, except when he realizes the truth about his feelings towards his best friend, and maybe he can't keep ignoring his heart palpitations anymore.Asahi never thought he would be in too deep with the team. He never thought volleyball would be so important. The same could be said about little spiked-haired Noya, who could make his head spin with just a smile. Sooner or later, he's gonna have to do something about it.





	1. He is faster than me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
A while ago a friend told me to watch Haikyuu since I am into sports anime. A few months later I fell in love with the characters, read all the available chapters of manga, and have a countdown for season 4  
And hence this was born  
I hope you have fun reading it as much as I had fun writing it! :)  
it's all light-hearted fun with teenage angst, and might get a little darker as time goes on, who knows? >:)

For Kageyama Tobio, it took a considerable amount of courage to step on a volleyball court again. After what had happened in middle school, he had nightmares of him tossing and being rejected, the memory repeating itself over and over. It also took him a while to realize he did something wrong. In his mind, it was the setter’s job to push their teammates to the max, and Kageyama took his job very seriously. Maybe too seriously. He didn’t see the impact of his words, “move faster, jump higher, spike harder”, mainly because he thought that if he was in their position, he would want someone to push him, call him out for his mistakes. 

After he didn’t get into Shiratorizawa, it was like the world was making it so that he never played volleyball again. First, his team left him, and then he was denied the opportunity to play with what was probably the most powerful team in the prefect. 

But he was stubborn, he wasn’t about to give up volleyball just yet. 

When he found out that he had gotten into Karasuno, he has… mostly relieved. He was sure he would succeed, the school had strong players and maybe, just maybe, they would accept him for who he was: a harsh and bossy setter, but that ultimately meant well. 

Something else had not left his thoughts all summer: that orange-haired kid. Sometimes Kageyama could not get those amber eyes out of his mind: how they burned with determination that was unparalleled. He had been playing for a while now, of course he didn’t remember every single match and every single player he had gone against, but this time he wondered why the hell he could replay every second of that specific match in his head. It was uneventful, another easy win against a secondary team, he was sure that his former teammates didn’t recall it. But he did. And it was because of that freaking kid. It was insanely obvious that none of the players knew exactly how to play volleyball, they were sloppy and unexperienced. Why they had even gone to the tournament was beyond him. But that kid, the one with wild orange hair and so freaking _short_, had managed to get Kageyama’s attention. 

He knew exactly why: that freak quick. It was something else, something extraordinary and unlike anything Kageyama had seen before, not even in those high resolution videos of professional matches. He could see everything in slow motion: the toss was off, and for a second he had told himself it would be another point for him: there was absolutely no way someone could get that. Then the short guy had run _all the way to the other side of the court_, with such speed that he was a blur, and with such reflexes that Kageyama knew that as soon as the ball had hit the setter’s fingertips, he was already moving. To top it all, he actually _jumped_ a full _2 meters_, even more, he has over the net, and for a moment Kageyama felt… small. This little guy towered over him and spiked a ball with such force that it hit the court and bounced off into the edge of the room. Everything was over in a matter of seconds. 

He had simply stared. 

_How did you do that? What have you been doing for the last three years????_

The kid didn’t speak, just smiled softly when his team came cheering at him. Despite that, it wasn’t enough to top Kageyama’s team immense lead, and the game ended as everyone expected it to. There was a moment where everyone on his side of the net was celebrating, and Kageyama was captured by the kid’s eyes. The whole time, their eyes were locked, a look that made Kageyama’s stomach twist, as if he had been threatened. 

_Remember me_, those eyes said, _I’m going to beat you._

Now those same eyes stared at him one more time, wide and surprised. It made Kageyama stop on his tracks, staring as well. The baby-faced kid with a green uniform had disappeared, now in his place stood a teen dressed in all black, orange hair wild and untamed, sticking out in all directions. His face was sharp, his figure slim and his stance straight. He blinked, with his big bright eyes, making his long light lashes flutter. Kageyama watched his face contort into an expression of frustration. 

“Y-You?” he stuttered, his anger audible through his teeth. “Here?” 

Kageyama didn’t answer, his mind was spinning wildly. The kid that had occupied his thoughts was now standing in front of him, in the same school and possibly…

“You trying out for volleyball?” he asked, his voice low. 

“You bet I am!” he exclaimed. Kageyama winced. He was very loud. 

So it was true: he was going to be on the same team as the god-like spiker. It was certainly not how he planned their meeting to happen. It was embarrassing how much he had thought about it: him in a fully formed team, with spikers that would obey his every order and respond to his every move fast, hard and accurate. The kid on the opposite team, with a setter that could use him as a shotgun and a team that could carry him all the way to Kageyama’s. That’s how they should’ve met, on a court and on different sides of the net. Kageyama really hoped the kid would find his place; he would get better and polish his technique or something because that ability could not be wasted on a second-hand team. It was the only thing he considered a challenge. 

And now it had all come out in ways that didn’t please him at all and by the look on the spiker’s face, he wasn’t too happy about it either. The guy tried to hide his annoyance with a frown, and just started to walk past Kageyama. 

“I remember you, setter.” He said, stopping but not looking at him. “My name’s Hinata. Hinata Shouyou.” 

“Kageyama Tobio.” He answered, and it felt like enemies exchanging names for the sake of knowing who to destroy. “And I remember you too, spiker.” 

“I’m a middle blocker.” He replied as we walked away. 

.

It only took a couple of hours together to realize that he hated Hinata. He absolutely despised him and there was absolutely no way they could work together. He was loud and obnoxious, incredibly sloppy in all techniques possible and a complete dumbass. Whatever he thought of Hinata over the summer, the whole amazing fantasy of him being a worthy opponent was thrown out the window, his so called “talent” be damned, he didn’t have any of it. 

Kageyama didn’t expect much from the people in his team: he wasn’t interested in getting to know them, or being friends with them. They were just pieces that he could use to win. That, if he managed to become a regular, which wasn’t guaranteed given there was already a setter and he was a third year. When they had entered the gym they had been met with some rather odd characters. The captain was everything Kageyama wanted to be: serious, broody and strong. He then realized that was all a play and that he was soft on the inside. The setter was the vice-captain, his messy silver hair, kind eyes and wide smile make him seem charismatic, but there was a glint of deviousness in his glare. There was a second year that was maybe even louder than Hinata, with a bald head and big judgmental eyes. 

By his side there was a tall, blond haired guy with glasses that seemed extremely bored, and a smaller guy with freckles that looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. And of course, loud dumbass Hinata. 

Kageyama sighed. There was no way this was going to be his team. 

Like honestly, what had he done to deserve this? What kind of karma was he paying to end up with these people? Was a decent team too much to ask? 

He sat through the greetings and other formalities, he just wanted to play. More specifically, he wanted to serve a ball into the back of Hinata’s head with enough force to knock him unconscious. 

Apparently, his hate wasn’t one-sided. Hinata would bite right back every time, even if the response wasn’t that intelligent. Kageyama could tell that it was really bothering the captain – Daichi – and he had snapped at the two of them at least three times. Kageyama couldn’t care less. He was so unbelievable angry at his luck that he ditched the plan of being nice and compelling so he could get to play regular and just let out his frustrations with constant yelling and scoffing. 

“I guess they were right.” The blond guy – Tsukkishima – said when they were waiting in line for their turn at spiking the balls the setter was tossing. “I can see it now.” 

“Huh?” was all he said, but then Tsukkishima turned to him fully and smirked evilly. 

“King of the Court.” 

The words were like a hot knife in his chest, making him huff with pure rage. His vision blurred at the mention and his discomfort seemed to please the other guy. He simply turned away and didn’t speak again. 

It had been a while since Kageyama had been called those four words. With time he came to hate them, hate what they meant. Hate how people would throw them around mockingly and just keep stabbing at the wound of his team’s rejection. Because even if he hated to admit it, it did _hurt_. And he did feel _alone_. _Rejected_. And now he had come here hoping to escape it and it had appeared to bite at him again. He decided he didn’t like Tsukkishima either, even if he was a natural at blocking. 

He was fuming by the time Hinata managed to miss yet another serve, which flew uselessly a couple meters and then hit the net on the center. Without thinking too much about it, he shouted: 

“My God, you really are bad!” 

“Shut up!” Hinata answered, blushing in shame and spiting the words at him. 

“It’s okay Hinata; you’ll get the next one.” Suga – the setter – told him with a patient smile, but Kageyama wasn’t having any of it. 

“You keep serving like that and you’ll be stuck on the bench all season.” Kageyama told him bitterly, rubbing at the bridge of his nose like an exasperated mom. 

“Well last time I checked you’re not the one who decides who gets to play!” he replied, even though Kageyama could tell he had hit a soft spot. 

“Anyone can see how stupid, how _useless_ you are.” Kageyama wasn’t thinking, he just wanted this guy off his court, off his team and off his life. “You should’ve never made it out of your little middle school team, you should’ve stopped there.” 

“Hey man, not cool.” Tanaka, the bald one, said crossing his arms across his chest. “Cut it out.” 

“Geez, Kageyama!” Hinata breathed out, a sarcastic laugh escaping his lips. “And you wonder why spikers refuse to hit your tosses, _King._” 

Those words sent fire down his spine. He felt it in his hands, behind his eyes and travelling through his veins. He stepped towards Hinata who at the same time stepped towards him, both like rabid animals ready to tear each other apart and they would’ve, if Suga hadn’t stepped in between them. They were both sure he had seen the murderous intent in their eyes. 

He grabbed them by the back of their shirts and starting dragging them towards the door. They put little to no resistance, taken aback by how firm and strong their senpai’s grip was. The scariest thing about the whole situation was how calm Suga seemed, his face expressionless as if he wasn’t pulling two grown boys out of the court. Kageyama saw Tsukkishima staring at him with pity, which made his anger burn stronger than before. 

“Suga, isn’t that a bit harsh?” Tanaka said, actually a little concerned and starting to walk towards him. 

“Let him.” Daichi murmured, placing a firm hand of Tanaka’s chest. 

Suga let them go when they were outside, and stood there with his hands on his hips. 

“You either learn how to behave.” He said. His voice was soft but incredibly menacing. “Or you don’t go back in there, understood?” 

They didn’t actually nod, too stunned to do anything more than stare as their vice-captain walked back in the gym and closed the door behind him. They were both running back to it, hands on the closed silver door, not really processing what had just happened. They stared at each other in disbelief, and then Kageyama sighed in defeat and sat by the stairs. 

“This is all your fault!” Hinata cried, devastated he was thrown out of the gym. Kageyama was just tired. 

“You shouldn’t have said that.” He simply said, looking at his shoes. 

“What? The truth about the King of the Court?” he snared, and in a couple of seconds Kageyama was up and holding him by the front of his shirt, actually lifting him off the ground. 

“You call me that one more time and I’ll never toss to you. Not once.” He threatened, hands curled into fists around Hinata’s shirt and face burning hot. 

“Tch, alright.” He whispered, dusting himself off when Kageyama finally let go of him. “I’ll tell Suga-san to toss to me. I didn’t even need you anyway.” 

Kageyama scoffed. He was absolutely done with this guy. He had to admit he was mad he was kicked out, but now he had to cooperate if he wanted to play. For once he had to bow his head and apologize, admit that hey, he was not in control, he wasn’t the captain, and he didn’t call the shots. Again, neither did Hinata. 

“You gotta understand you’re not crucial to winning.” He told him, plain and cold. “You’re clumsy, small, and have no sense of awareness of y- Are you listening to me?!” 

Hinata was currently trying to look through the high windows, probably pondering how he could sneak in. 

“D-Don’t ignore me, dumbass!” he stuttered, cheeks red with anger. 

“Yeah yeah I’m bad at receiving, serving and all things volleyball” He said, sounding bored. “It’s not like I’ve heard you say that all practice, get creative will you Kageyama?” 

“I hate you.” he said, and he meant it. 

“Well same here.” He answered, glaring at him. 

“But right now I need your sorry ass to pretend you like me so I can go back in there.” He admitted through gritted teeth. “Don’t be an idiot.” 

Hinata smiled. A pleased smile that made Kageyama’s head spin with confusion. 

“You have to pretend to like me too.” He sang, and then repeated: “Don’t be an idiot.” 

“Fine.” He murmured, ready to just be done with it. 

They both took a deep breath and knocked on the door, waiting for someone to get it. Kageyama was shifting his feet and Hinata was bouncing on his heels, the amount of energy and effort they were using to not bicker at each other was palpable in the air. The door was opened by Suga, who stared at them with eyebrows raised. Hinata bowed first and Kageyama followed, forcing the words to come out. 

“We’re really sorry!” they said. “We promise to be better! Please let us play!” 

There was a moment of tense silence, none of the two daring to stand back up. They heard Suga chuckle, and when they raised their heads they saw he was smirking, pleased. 

“That’s more like it. I’ll let you play.” He said, opening the door and stepping aside. “Tomorrow, because practice is over. Now get in there and help clean up.” 

Kageyama’s jaw dropped but he was quick to shut it, forcing his indignation down and deep into his stomach. Hinata let out a pained sound but they both vowed again and thanked their senpai profusely. Kageyama fought hard to ignore Tsukkishima’s mocking stare. 

When they finished cleaning up and everybody started to leave, there was a moment where Hinata and Kageyama were alone in the empty gym, about to go out all defeated for having missed half the practice. 

“Stupid idiot.” Kageyama murmured hatefully. 

“Stuck-up jerk” Hinata murmured in response, hateful as well

They started walking in opposite directions and Kageyama was getting off the high of it all and actually calming down, that until Hinata shouted: 

“You know what Kageyama! You may be bigger and stronger than me, but guess what! I’m _faster_!” 

Kageyama turned around and sprinted full speed towards the smaller guy, who had started running away as well, giggling. Kageyama hadn’t used up all his strength in the short time he had trained, he was sure of it, and the anger that burned in his chest boosted him forward and yet…

_I should’ve caught up with him by now._

Hinata, still a couple meters ahead, turned the corner with ease and most likely without losing too much speed and Kageyama was impressed. Then he was mad at being impressed. When he reached the corner a few seconds later, he came to a harsh stop when he noticed Hinata wasn’t ahead. He looked around, utterly confused, until he heard that stupid laugh of his above his head and there he was, perched on a tree like a small annoying bird. 

Kageyama frowned at him and turned to leave, each step harsh while Hinata kept giggling triumphantly. Reality sunk in his chest. 

_He is faster than me._


	2. How Lucky of Me

Practice was over and Suga was grateful. He knew it was going to be different with the first years around, that he was going to have to coach to a certain degree and get to know them and not seem “nicely intimidating” as his friends often said. Overall, it was pretty harsh on his mind and body, especially the two rogue players that seemed to be so amazingly talented but utterly terrible at teamwork. Throughout practice he could see Daichi’s blood boil slowly and steadily as time went by and the shenanigans happened more frequently, and Suga was almost sure the captain was going to pop a vessel. 

So he did what had to be done: isolate the two of them so they could work their shit outside. Daichi didn’t say anything but he looked mildly relieved. Tanaka and him were used to Daichi’s way of coaching, used to him not really talking much and being so focused it almost looked scary. The first years however, especially Yamaguchi, seemed to be a little wary of him and would drop their heads whenever he addressed them. Suga knew that with time they would come to know Daichi as the big dork he was. For now, Suga let him keep the broody captain façade, although it slipped occasionally and Kageyama’s slick eyes had caught up on it. 

Speaking of Kageyama, he was currently mopping angrily while Hinata did the same and it looked like some kind of competition. Suga then realized he could literally get them to do anything if he implied the other one could do it better. That was useful information he could use later. 

He pressed the cold towel to his forehead, trying to get his hot skin to stop being literally on fire. He was overheated so he couldn’t take a shower yet. He gave himself a little credit: it was the first practice after they had finished their second year and they didn’t bother starting slow. 

“Tired?” he heard Daichi ask Tanaka, who was leaning down with hands on his knees and breathing in deeply. There was a smile playing on his lips. 

“Man I’m gonna be dead tomorrow!” he answered, sweat dripping. “Summer vacation did take a toll on our stamina huh.” 

“Maybe so.” Daichi huffed. “Those friendly matches didn’t help much.” 

Suga smiled. Over vacation they would often go out of their way to find someone to play against, literally teaming up with whoever was available and willing to play with a bunch of high school kids like them. They had played with guys from different schools, with college students, with adults from the neighborhood association; they even managed to convince Nekoma to lend them a hand and come over once in a whil. Although it was practice, it was rarely a serious match, both of the teams laughing more than anything and it was really nice to play like that. When they weren’t playing they had slouched a lot at Suga’s house, eating junk food and staying up till 3 in the morning. He guessed they were a little out of shape because of that. 

“Hard and demanding as ever, Cap.” Tanaka teased him, and Daichi rolled his eyes. “But apparently not enough to dull Suga’s flame. Did you see how he handled those two? I was both scared and impressed.” 

Suga knew he should stop eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help himself. He had acted on instinct, protecting the team and protecting Daichi from having an aneurysm. He hadn’t asked, and after they had continued as if nothing had happened. For a moment he wondered if he had gone a little too far. 

“You know how he is.” Daichi said, smiling fondly, and it made Suga’s face heat up even more. “This team is like his family, and he just got handed a pair of gnarly kids. He put them in their place. He’s my vice-captain after all.” 

_My_ vice-captain. The words sunk deep into his chest and he tried to fight off a smile. It would be suspicious and he didn’t want them to notice he was listening from afar. Sometimes they all forgot exactly how low you had to whisper so that the others didn’t hear you with all the gym’s echo, notably now without the general noise of volleyballs and the squealing of shoes. 

“Ugh, whatever Dad.” Tanaka said, and watched Daichi’s cheeks grow red. They knew Daichi _hated_ those kinds of jokes, so they made them in every chance they got. Daichi had been fathering the team since the first year, and it didn’t help his case when he became captain and was literally in charge of the flock of crows. 

Tanaka shouted a general goodbye and got some tired responses before he was out the door. Suga took his bag and exited as well, saying his goodbyes. Instead of walking forward, he waited at the side of the door and started counting in his head. He reached 11 when Daichi came bolting through the door, looking bewildered. 

“I’m right here, Dad.” He said, and Daichi gave him a playful glare. “I would never leave without you.” 

“You’re mean.” He grumbled, but still walked really closely to him, their shoulders brushing together. 

When Suga had reached high school, he never thought he would end up like this, his life completely consumed by the volleyball team and having such amazing friends. He never thought his apparent friendship with Daichi would come to this, given he was a bit shy when he was younger and Daichi was a determined player. 

It took them no time to intertwine their lives. It all started as teammates, young, excited and willing to do their best. Couch Ukai used to praise them for their good work: they were completely in synch, Daichi responding to Suga’s every toss, and communicating smoothly with just a look. Then they started doing everything together. They spent every minute of their breaks with each other, shared their meals, studied together. They had hung out at each other’s houses, playing videogames or watching old movies, so much that their families called them by their first names. Daichi was the only one that could call him Koushi without getting smacked in the head. Their bond has undeniable, they had gone through thick and thin together, and everybody could see they meant the world to each other. 

Daichi would always accompany him to the bus stop, even if his house was on the opposite direction. They walked together in silence, watching the light drain from the sky as they waited for Suga’s bus to arrive. They sat on the little bench and Suga propped one of his legs on Daichi’s thigh, their ankles locking together. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he started being so close to Daichi; it just felt natural to be touching all the time. The contact wasn’t awkward, neither of them minding that sometimes they were literally sitting on the other’s lap, Daichi would play with Suga’s fingers at the table, Suga would firmly rest his head on his shoulder, and the list went on. 

“Tired, captain?” Suga asked, and Daichi let out a long sigh. 

“Exhausted.” He said. Suga noticed how something shifted; the way Daichi closed his eyes and hung his head back had something else to it. He knew every movement and every expression of his partner; he could _feel_ his moods and noticed things that seemed invisible for everyone else. Daichi had a hard time keeping things from Suga, given how connected they were. 

“Everything okay?” he inquired, his voice soft and gentle. Daichi instantly relaxed. Suga had that kind of effect on him. 

“Yeah.” Daichi said, against his better judgement. Like he expected, Suga pouted and scoffed. 

“That’s a lie.” He said simply. Daichi knew it was impossible to lie to Suga and get away with it, but he was so tired he really didn’t want to explain himself and all the complicated shit he was feeling. Still, Suga placed a firm hand on his arm and gave him an understanding smile. “I can literally hear you thinking, Dai.” 

The little pet name made Daichi’s chest flutter, and he thanked it was kind of dark so Suga didn’t see him blushing. Sure, Suga thrown it around as if it was his full name, but the way he said it sometimes, so full of… something he couldn’t quite name, made his head spin. 

“How about you come to my house?” he said, voice hopeful. “We can order some pizza and you can tell me everything that’s in that pretty head of yours, yeah?” 

In other circumstances Daichi would have joked – _we literally just finished exercising, Suga_ – but the idea sounded so promising that he agreed instantly. They got on the bus and Suga didn’t let him pay for his ride, and then they got as comfortable as you can get on those plastic seats. Suga’s head was on his shoulder, something that he did without fail whenever they were on a bus or a car or any other mean of transportation. Although there was only a small height difference between them (“_It’s only 2 centimeters, Sawamura, get off your high horse! _”) Suga often would curl up against Daichi, arguing that he got cold easily and that he was warm. Of course Daichi didn’t mind and actually enjoyed having him close. 

They entered Suga’s home, which was dark inside, and Suga didn’t have to tell Daichi that he could make himself comfortable. 

“Your parents out of town again?” he asked carefully, knowing it was a touchy subject. 

“Yep. Business trip.” He answered, his voice plain. Daichi didn’t press further and Suga’s smiled returned. “Which means we have the house to ourselves.” 

And he _winked_. Daichi only hummed and stared at the carpet as if it had become the most interesting thing in the room, trying to hide his blushing face. _Damn you, Koushi_. He chuckled, watching Suga blink innocently. Once you came to know him, you realized just how devious this guy was. Suga was ordering the pizza on his phone, not having to ask Daichi what he wanted, he already knew it. Daichi would often get lost in Suga, in his kind brown eyes, in his silver hair that fell graciously on his forehead, on his arms hardened by years of setting and serving, on his slim figure and relaxed stance. He didn’t feel any kind of obligation with Suga, not having to be the stern captain or the mature third year. 

“So.” Suga said, flopping on the couch beside him, one hand propping his head up. “You come here often?” 

Daichi laughed, and Suga smiled at the sound. He knew exactly how to make him laugh. “Yeah, I actually do.” 

“How lucky of me.” He answered, and Suga didn’t mean it as a joke. He was sure Daichi noticed but they didn’t say anything further, instead just talking about their days like they often did. It seemed like they would never run out of things to say. 

“Pizza’s here!” he sang after a couple minutes. “The perks of having the pizza place right around the corner.” 

“You’re a bad influence, Sugawara.” Daichi teased, and Suga gasped dramatically. “Coaxing me into eating junk food when we need to get back into shape. Shame on you.” 

“How dare you say that!” he returned, setting the box on the small table in front of them and moving swiftly to get something to drink. “Talking about being a bad influence, do you want us to steal my dad’s wine or nah?” 

“Koushi!!!” he exclaimed, very amused by scolding him playfully. “Are you implying we should _steal alcohol_??? When we’re _minors_???” 

“I’m gonna give you water if you keep that up.” He threatened, but Daichi could hear the smile on his voice. 

“We have class tomorrow, Koushi, and you want to get me drunk.” He continued even as Suga slapped a can of soda on his chest. They each took a slice and moaned at the flavor of it all, both relishing on the fact that it would be a while until they could have pizza again, being athletes and all. 

“You’re gonna tell me what’s got you so worried?” Suga asked, legs tugged close to his chest. Although they were on opposite ends of the couch, their feet were intertwined 

“It’s just…” Daichi started, rubbing his face. “The team, I guess? Today was rough. I felt like there was a lot on me, lots of expecting eyes, and there was a lot of noise and…”

“Hey…” Suga said softly. He knew Daichi wasn’t very good with words, but he had come to understand what little he could say to express what he felt. “It’s been hard on all of us since coach Ukai retired, and I get it’s tougher on you since you’ve taken the team on your shoulders, but you’re the strongest captain I know.” 

Daichi smiled, but didn’t say anything. His eyes were still a bit dull. 

“Besides, I’m here and I’m willing to help you with some of it.” Suga said, giving him a soft kick for emphasis. 

“That’s why you’re my vice-captain.” He murmured, and watched as Suga grew slightly pink. He knew Suga got flustered at the mention of his title. 

“Your vice-captain is there to control the kids.” He added. “So don’t worry about it too much. Also, I have a feeling it’s going to get better. We have a bunch of promising first years. Tsukkishima is a good blocker, with training we’ll have stronger defense. Yamaguchi is a little bit shy but I’m getting through with him, and he likes the game as much as anyone and is willing to learn.” 

“Then there’s those two.” Daichi said, taking a bite of his pizza. 

“I know they can be a lot.” Suga laughed. 

“You really put your foot down today huh.” He teased, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Thank you, Mom.” 

“Oh you’re not gonna start.” He huffed, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “I heard Tanaka say that during one of our friendly matches and I’m telling you, it’s not gonna stick.” 

“I said the same thing when you guys started calling me Dad...” He said, looking sideways. 

“It’s different!” he argued. “Anyway, I think that if we can get them to work together we would have a pretty powerful weapon on our hands.” 

“It’s our last year.” Daichi said. His voice had gone grim, and Suga saw that slight panic on his eyes when he was overwhelmed. 

“I know.” He answered as he came closer. 

“Karasuno isn’t like in the glory days.” 

“I know.” 

“I just…”

“Daichi.” He called, cupping his cheeks softly with his wide, warm hands. Daichi stopped talking, held his breath at the sudden contact. Suga made him stare right into those calm brown eyes, and he felt like the dread was seeping from him. “I know.” 

Suga was so close Daichi could feel his breath on his skin. Daichi sighed in relief and placed his hands on top of Suga’s, squeezing lightly. He was so incredibly grateful to have this guy by his side, to have someone like him buy him pizza and let him blurt out his insecurities. He felt warm, he felt safe, like everything was going to be alright as long as Suga was with him. Suga had his eyes closed, breathing in and out deeply and steadily, Daichi following his rhythm. His eyes wondered to Suga’s lips, those perfect reddish lips that were a bit chapped because of that awful habit Suga had of biting them. Daichi’s thoughts were a blur, he was intoxicated by Suga’s closeness, and he just had to lean forward, just a tiny bit… 

But he stopped himself right in time, dreading how close he had been of complete disaster. Because pushing the boundaries that they had both set was wrong, the fact that they touched often didn’t mean Daichi could go around doing more than that. Truth be told, he was terrified of what could happen after. 

“It’s late.” He said softly, barely a whisper, trying to hide the fact that he did not want to leave. “I should go.” 

When Suga opens his eyes he notices there’s a tiny glint of disappointment, but he quickly convers it with a kind smile. Suga had always being really good at deflecting. 

“Right.” He says, taking a step back. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!   
here's a new chapter, a daisuga one *_*  
thank you for all the kudos, I really appreciate it!  
have a great day! <3


	3. You Remember

It had been a while since Hinata had been kicked out of the gym along with Kageyama. Sure, Kageyama had been mad, but Hinata was mortified. It was the first practice with his new team, a team he wanted to get to know and learn how to work with, and he was already causing trouble and pissing off the captain. That couldn’t be good, he had to earn these guys’ trust, show them that he could play and that he wanted it more than anybody else. 

Hinata knew that, but there was something about Kageyama that made him drown the tiny voice of reason and just snap like a rabid dog. There was something about this guy that made Hinata’s skin crawl, he put him on edge and would make his hands shake. He was sure that if Kageyama hadn’t been there, he’d have already befriended most people on his team and they would be happy to have him. 

The truth was that Hinata was jealous. He had been jealous of Kageyama since day one, but not because of his ability, but because he used to have a team. Hinata had never had a team, not really. When he had practiced in middle school it was with a bunch of random people, different groups but he was never a part of them. Even if they argued that they sucked, Hinata was there, insisting and almost begging _toss to me, block me, play with me_. His life had changed that day he saw the Little Giant on TV, the day he saw that black number 10 fly up and against guys that were huge, and not once faltering, not once resigning. It had given Hinata hope, hope that he too could fly. And now that he was at the literal gates of Karasuno, if the team rejected him and wouldn’t make him a part of it he would be completely heartbroken. 

Over the next few days he pondered if he should do anything, like talk to Suga or Daichi and apologize more profusely for his behavior. But then he figured that his behavior wasn’t going to change if Kageyama was in the same court and at the same time. He just couldn’t even consider the idea of him and Kageyama getting along, because Kageyama’s mere existence already made him grind his teeth. The fact that he also bickered at him at any given chance and for every little thing didn’t help his case and it made Hinata’s anger towards him even bigger. Why did he have to be such a douchebag? 

Sure, Hinata had expected people to be against the idea of him playing volleyball; he accepted that, just as much as he accepted that he was very short and at a disadvantage. That didn’t mean he was going to quit or let anyone tell him what he could and couldn’t do. But for some strange reason, when Kageyama said things like that it would anger him more than usual. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. 

Maybe it had something to do with his energy, or his dark personality. He was closed off, didn’t talk to anyone, and would spend the breaks wandering around school alone. Hinata didn’t like him, didn’t like the idea of him, didn’t like anything about Kageyama Tobio and he wished the guy could just go somewhere where everyone was good and would meet his standards, just so that he left Hinata alone. 

Practice continued every day, and Hinata was learning a lot of things he should’ve known. He focused on showing Daichi what he could do and following one simple rule: absolutely no complaining. If the captain said 100 laps, we would start running without hesitation. If the captain said spike the ball until your hands bleed, he would spike twice as hard. He wished they had a coach though, but again, no complaining. 

It took him a while to synch to Suga’s tossing, and Hinata discovered that his triumphant spike at the middle school match had been a one-time event. It was hard to time the ball, when he had to jump, how much energy he had to put into it, exactly when he had to move his arm, and just considering all of that in a matter of seconds. 

Suga tossed again and Hinata jumped to spike it, but his timing was off and he put too much momentum on the jump and ended up crashing against the net and falling on his butt. He heard Tsukkishima’s deep laugh and Kageyama’s scoff, and felt utterly ashamed. Only Suga and Daichi were with him, the rest of the team was in the sidelines practicing receiving and ball control. They both had told him they had faith in him, that he could become a powerful option for attacking, and that literally made Hinata’s heart fill with joy. It also filled him with determination to not let his captains down. 

However, after failing for what felt like the hundredth time, his spirits were down and now he felt incredibly ashamed. Suga ran over to him and so did Daichi, kneeling beside him. 

“Hinata, are you okay?” Suga asked, a hand firm on his shoulder. “That was a nasty fall.” 

“I’m okay.” He answered. He really was, although he could feel a stinging pain run up his hips and spine when they helped him get up. 

“You need to be careful.” Daichi said. “Your jump is incredible, but it can be dangerous if you don’t come down right. Try to make sure your feet are firm and if you lose balance, make sure you don’t bend your wrists to cushion the fall.” 

“Try slowing the impact with your forearms.” Suga added. “If you bust a wrist you’ll be off the court for a while and we don’t want that. Come on; let’s try that one more time.” 

Great, one more thing to worry about. Hinata felt awful, but he also realized Suga was literally the most patient person in the entire planet. Few could handle Hinata’s stubbornness, and even though he kept missing again and again and again, not once did Suga seem to get frustrated or mad when Hinata murmured “one more”. He had also convinced Daichi to let him practice spiking on his own, and even had him teaching Hinata some techniques and other details to help him. He felt nurtured, he felt cared for. 

“Hinata.” Suga called him when practice was over and everyone was heading out. He could hear their teammates talking about going to get popsicles, but he thought he didn’t deserve it after how bad he had performed. Hinata skipped towards his vice-captain and when he arrived to his side he fell into a deep bow and said. 

“I-I-I’m sorry about the trouble I caused you, S-Suga-senpai!” his cheeks were burning red. 

“Oh! Oh, don’t worry about it.” Suga said, brushing it off. “Learning to spike takes time, I know it can be tough. Daichi needed an awful amount of time to learn, I must have tossed to him like a thousand times. But he got through and now he can do it accurately.” 

“Hey!” Daichi protested, putting away some balls. 

“I complemented you!” Suga responded, his voice tinted with a little laughter. “Anyway, I know you’re frustrated so I just wanted to tell you to just… um… keep going. You’ll get it eventually.” 

Hinata couldn’t believe that after today Suga still had hope he would make it. He sighed deeply and thanked him over and over until he told him to go home and rest. Hinata obeyed, walking out of the gym and taking his bike. Before he could start pedaling and get lost in the streets, he heard: 

“Hey, dumbass.” 

He stopped, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The team was still around, they couldn’t see them arguing. Kageyama seemed a little… shy? He had his arms around himself and was shielding his eyes with his fringe of pitch black hair. Hinata frowned. This wasn’t the Kageyama that called him useless. 

“… Try following the movement of the ball with your body.” He said softly. “It might help with spiking.” 

Hinata was stunned. Sure, he didn’t understand exactly what he was supposed to do, but had Kageyama just given him advice? He was a bit confused but before he could say anything the taller boy had already sprinted away. 

“That was weird.” Tanaka said, who had witnessed the whole thing. “I think he meant well though.” 

Hinata pondered those words on his way home. He meant well. How could Kageyama mean well when he literally wanted him off the team? And now suddenly he wanted him to get better? It just didn’t make any sense. Despite the obvious awkwardness between the two, it was clear that Kageyama was also trying to make amends and be on his best behavior, which just showed Hinata that he wanted to play as much as he did. And Hinata could at least respect that about Tobio. 

So the next day he gathered strength and courage to go talk to him. He followed him out of his classroom like a fucking creep and waited until he stopped at a bench to sit and just stare at the horizon or whatever this guy did. Hinata fiddled with his hands and bit his tongue nervously. Should he really be doing this? Kageyama had sworn to be his enemy until the end of his days, but to be fair it was him who had actually broken the hate pact and offered him his confusing guidance. So maybe, just maybe they could come to a cease fire, get what they both wanted and then go back to hating each other. That seemed like a solid plan. 

“Kageyama.” He called, and Kageyama didn’t move, like he was expecting him to talk out of nowhere. Had he known he had followed him? 

“What.” He answered, plain and dry. He didn’t even look at him. His deep blue eyes were still focused on whatever was in front of him, his eyebrows together in a perpetual frown. Hinata found himself staring at the way the black uniform clung to Kageyama’s figure, how his raven hair fell on his forehead and how he was hunched over, as if there was weight on his shoulders. Hinata shook his head and realized he needed to keep talking. 

“You’re a jerk.” He blurted out without thinking. Great start, Hinata. Kageyama scoffed, something he did a lot, but overall didn’t seem interested. 

“And?” 

“But you want to play regular, don’t you?” 

At that he stiffened and turned his head sharply, startling Hinata. He squinted at him as if he was a minuscule insect that was bothering him, and Hinata could feel the hate and anger radiating from him in almost physical waves. So last night after practice hadn’t changed a thing. 

“What do you want, dumbass.” He snarled, words sharp and exasperated. 

“Is that the only insult you have?” he bit back on an impulse, but was quick to correct himself. “T-That’s not why I’m here! What I’m trying to say is that we might hate each other but we have a common goal.” 

Kageyama stayed silent. He curled his fist and for a second Hinata thought he was going to get punched for intruding into his daily brooding sessions, but instead he answered in a nicer tone. 

“What are you suggesting?” 

“I-I’m suggesting… we come up with something that will get us a spot on the starting alignment. I-I-I don’t know, something impressive something that will make everyone go waah! And we can go whoosh! And score many points and…”

“You’re stupid to think I need to work with you to get a spot on the regulars.” Kageyama said, standing up and towering over Hinata. “I don’t need you, or anyone. Besides, coming up with a strategy that relies on you getting the ball to the other side can’t be effective.” 

Hinata didn’t say anything, instead looking up at Kageyama and smirking slightly. That seemed to anger the other boy even more. Kageyama didn’t think Hinata could be smart, but anyone could come up with methods of persuasion when you played the scene on your head over and over and had the exact words prepared. 

“You’re the stupid one to think you can do it on your own.” Hinata pointed with a carefree laugh. “Do you honestly believe they would put you, heartless and selfish Kageyama; instead of Suga, their sweet and reliable setter?” 

“I’m way better than him!!” Kageyama exclaimed, way louder than he should have, because a couple of people that were chatting on the grass nearby turned their heads. Among those, Suga himself along with Daichi and another guy with long hair that Hinata didn’t recognize. Kageyama noticed them too and hid his face behind his hair, his lips curled into a snarl. 

“Be quiet, idiot!” Hinata scolded him just for the satisfaction of seeing Kageyama recoil. “If they hear you being this arrogant they won’t let you set foot on the court.” 

Hinata expected something along the lines of “it’s how I play what determines that, dumbass” but instead he got silence. Kageyama’s fists clenched and unclenched nervously and he sat down again, grumbling to himself but leaving space so that Hinata could sit as well. The smaller boy took that as a victory. 

“That quick of yours.” Kageyama said after a moment of tense silence. “Can you still do it?” 

“…uh?” Hinata questioned. Did he have a quick? How could he have one if he couldn’t even spike? What the hell was Kageyama talking about? 

“That quick you did in our middle school match” he specified, clearly annoyed. “You and your… horrible team, the only time you scored decently. The toss was off and you somehow managed to spike it.” 

A cheeky smile spread across Hinata’s lips, and Kageyama looked at him horrified. 

“You remember.” He said, and below the smug amusement of making fun of Kageyama he did feel a little flattered that he remembered one specific match among the thousands of matches that he must’ve played. The fact that he remembered because of that move he made gave Hinata a little bit more confidence and, even if he didn’t admit it, a warm feeling on his gut. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing. 

“Focus, you dumbass!!” Kageyama yelled, glaring at him, but Hinata was still too soft about his previous statement to really be bothered by the insult. It also appeared that for only one second Kageyama’s face was a bit pink. “Can you or can you not do it???” 

“Yes, I can run fast and jump high if that’s what you mean. It’s all I did that time.” Hinata said, and he didn’t mean to sound that nonchalant, but it was the truth. Kageyama stared at him and Hinata shrugged, not really sure what else to say. “You know I don’t have any technique, that time it was just… instinct I guess.” 

“Well we’re gonna need that instinct of yours.” He said softly, and Hinata’s heart did a flip of excitement because oh my god, his plan had worked. “Since you suck at everything, it’s gonna take time. But if we do it right it might work out for us. After practice we stay a while longer.” 

Hinata nodded vigorously, beaming at the idea of getting more practice time. 

“T-This doesn’t mean I like you or anything!” Kageyama said, his usual angry expression was back. “You’re still a dumbass that sucks at strategies, playing a sport based around them.” 

“And you’re still an idiot that sucks at teamwork.” Hinata answered. “Playing a team-based sport.” 

“Alright.” He muttered, as if he was satisfied that Hinata’s feelings were the same as his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
Here's a new chapter with our favorite rivals.  
I love seeing your comments, it really makes my day so much better :)  
Hope you gave a great week! <3


	4. You're invincible

Kageyama couldn’t believe he was doing this. Never since his arrival at Karasuno would he have thought he would be teaming up with Hinata in order to make it to the official matches. Honestly, Kageyama knew that replacing a setter that knew the spikers by heart was going to be tough, but he never considered it would come to these extents. And the worst thing of all was that Hinata was excited, he had a permanent grin on his face and seemed to be radiating literal sunshine. 

It also seemed to be contagious, making everyone on the team be in a good mood (all of them expect for Tsukkishima and himself) and play lightly and amicably. It was weird for Tobio, and after a while he realized he was _enjoying it_. It had never been like that in middle school, he had been too focused on improving, and there was no time for light-hearted plays, smiles and laughs. Soon he comprehended that working hard with people that were friends was much more amusing than just beating himself to improve further and further. 

When they were practicing receives and Hinata managed to do it _perfectly_ that the ball flew smoothly upwards and towards the setter’s position in court, they didn’t even wait for it to come down, they hug-tackled Hinata all at once and threw him to the ground. Even Daichi, who made sure he was always serious and professional about his role, was rubbing Hinata’s mess of hair affectionately and smiling widely. 

“You have to admit he’s getting a bit better.” Tsukkishima said, taking Kageyama by surprise. He hadn’t participated in the display of congratulations, but neither had Tobio, who did believe Hinata was improving. Slowly, and clumsily, but it was progress. 

But he was also making progress, gaining the trust of what would hopefully be his spikers. His weapons. Kageyama knew he was good, knew that his tosses were always accurate and exactly where they needed to be at the time they needed to be. Both Tanaka and Daichi had learned already that if they jumped, Kageyama was sure to place the ball there for them. Sure, he would want them to be a little faster, but right now he was being compliant. He adapted to their personal styles, how they liked the toss to be, how fast, how high. Even though he was a bit distant from the whole team, they still gave him praises when doing a good job. 

The one spiker he could not get to work for him was Hinata, but he would worry about that when practice was over. 

The hours passed as the sun started to set, and Kageyama felt the nice satisfying burn of his forearms and palms. He rubbed his hands together and walked a lap around the court to cool down a bit. He knew his practice wasn’t over, and if it meant working with Hinata he was going to need a good amount of energy. 

Hinata didn’t seem tired at all, despite being sweaty and a bit flushed. He looked happier than usual, smiling with ease and laughing lightly. Kageyama Tobio would never admit that a part of him was a bit jealous of Hinata, of his seemingly endless stamina and his lively expression, his positivism, his ability to make friends in a matter of minutes. 

Not that Kageyama needed friends or anything. 

Kageyama gave Hinata a look, and the short guy seemed to understand what he meant perfectly. Surely, he went up to Suga and asked if him if they could stay a while longer, and the guy was so devious that he was shrugging to make himself look even smaller and gave the vice-captain heart-melting puppy eyes. Suga giggled at the sight and gave Hinata the keys, but also gave him a stern look and said something with the emphasis of his finger, like a mother warning their child, and Hinata nodded vigorously and thanked him. 

The rest of the team left, the sun was already down and the only source of light being the high lamps, Kageyama basked in the silence and solemnity of the empty gymnasium. This was obviously broken by loud ass Hinata who was saying something about wanting to go for it while Kageyama was barely listening. The cogs were turning in his head, making the calculations necessary to do a quick that seemed even faster than first tempo. What was more complicated was coming up with a way of telling Hinata, of actually getting him to understand. 

The orange-haired boy was currently tossing a ball to himself, patiently waiting for Kageyama to snap out of his mental state. 

“You done thinking?” he said, looking a bit bored. “We actually gonna play now?” 

Kageyama could start on a rant about how thinking was as crucial as playing but he decided against it. 

“So what’s your brilliant plan, Tobio?” Hinata asked, looking at him with those big, curious eyes. 

“Don’t call me that.” Kageyama spat instantly, not even processing the question. 

“I asked you.” Hinata said slowly, as if he was explaining something to a small child. It made Kageyama’s anger flare and burn in his chest. “What’s the plan?” 

“I’m gonna use you.” he answered. As soon as the words left his mouth he realized how weird they sounded. He had bent over to pick a ball and when he came back up Hinata was bright red and had taken a step back. 

“E-Excuse me?” he exclaimed, frowning and stuttering. 

“Not like that you dumbass!!” Kageyama barked, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You like to spike, right? Doesn’t matter if you play middle blocker, you’re also a spiker.” 

“I guess.” Hinata murmured. He didn’t look convinced. 

“Spikers are used by the setter. If I can show the team that I know how to… use you, then that’ll be a definitive pass to get us into official matches. Understand?” 

“So basically, I gotta do everything you say.” He offered, crossing his arms. 

“See that’s the smartest thing you’ve said today.” Kageyama chuckled and felt satisfied when he heard Hinata groan with annoyance. 

Kageyama tried to teach him. He really did. Setters didn’t usually have spike training but he passed all the knowledge he had about it to Hinata and even though the boy nodded and looked sure, when it came to actually spiking, he just didn’t seem to know what the hell he was doing. Kageyama sighed in frustration but still kept going. He had no other option but to make this work. He tried to use simple words and even Hinata’s stupid woosh and waaah’s. But they just couldn’t seem to align; when they tried it was always something: either it’s too soon or too late. 

“Again.” Hinata said, running back to his spot and watching Kageyama slowly go insane. 

Kageyama knew they couldn’t really spend all night in the gym, they didn’t want to cause trouble by leaving at midnight, but really he saw no other way. Kageyama wasn’t a very patient man, and although he had refrained for making mean comments when Hinata hopelessly missed again, he could tell that the other boy was getting frustrated as well. 

Hinata wasn’t the kind that gave up easily; he kept playing volleyball after all. He seemed to have an inextinguishable flame behind his eyes, the ambition of a thousand men and determination to go further, faster, harder, better. Kageyama didn’t even consider it was possible for Hinata to look beaten. Ashamed of his failure and mistakes yes, but never like there was no hope. 

And yet it happened right before his eyes: Hinata landed on his feet heavily and did not raise his head and said “again” like the other times. He stayed silent, staring at the floor. His legs then stopped working and he fell to his knees carelessly, making a painfully horrible thudding sound. That made Kageyama stop everything and rush to his side, not sure what exactly had happened. 

Hinata looked pale, his shoulders hunched forward and for the first time since Kageyama had seen him in that middle school match, he looked fragile. 

“Hinata.” He said, voice deep and serious. “Get up.” 

The boy didn’t answer, didn’t even flinch, but when he looked up at Kageyama his eyes were dull. Dead. Those eyes that sparkled with just the chance of playing, with just being on the court. Eyes that burned with such passion for volleyball were now… defeated. 

“No, no no no.” he said, shaking his head viciously. “Not taking any of it. Hinata, get up come on.” 

“Kageyama…” he whispered. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know if I can’t do this.” 

“Yes you can.” He said, and Hinata stared at him with a sad expression. He opened his mouth to say something, probably something along the lines of I keep failing over and over, I don’t have technique, I don’t have what it takes, but Kageyama was quick to not let him. “You can jump high and run fast. You can do this.” 

“But-” he started saying, still on the floor. 

“No, Hinata.” Kageyama replied “I’m not gonna let you cry about this. I’m gonna make you the best spiker this team has ever seen.” 

At that, Hinata sunk into a stunned silence. Kageyama was a little surprised those words came out of his mouth, but he has overwhelmed by the need of making that spark light up again. It was wrong to be without it, it just needed to be fixed. Kageyama threw his pride out the window, and offered Hinata a helping hand. The shorter boy took it gingerly and Kageyama pulled him up. He then held his shoulders firmly, tight enough to leave a mark, and made Hinata stare him right in the eye. 

“Listen to me.” He said. “Your speed and agility are like no other, like nothing no one has ever seen. There’s no such thing as an impossible move, an impossible quick. Not for you. As long as I’m here, you’re invincible.” 

The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning and Kageyama made sure he sounded as sincere as he was. Hinata stood up straighter, breathed in deeply and when he opened his eyes, the fire was there again. This time it was brighter, stronger, fueled by the utter need of succeeding. The thirst for victory. 

“Say it.” he commanded, the air heavy between the two. 

“As long as you’re here, I’m invincible.” 

“Now go stand over there and let’s do this one more time.” 

Hinata gave him a serious nod, and jogged towards his position. Kageyama let the air out. He felt all light and fuzzy after that heavy moment, but he shoved his confusing feelings aside and took the ball in his hands, twirling it. 

“Let’s change tactics.” He said finally. “Do you trust me?” 

“Yes.” Hinata answered without even a hitch of hesitation, and Kageyama felt something in his chest shift. 

“Then just jump, don’t think about me or the ball or the net or anything. Close your eyes if you have to, but just jump.” 

“But… how am I gonna spike the ball if I can’t see it?” he asked, looking concerned. Kageyama was aware that what he was asking sounding insane, but he was sure he would be able to pull through. 

“Hinata, your job is to jump and spike.” He simply said. “Leave the rest to me.” 

That didn’t offer an explanation on how this was going to be possible, but Hinata looked reassured. He curled his hands into fists and then waited patiently for Kageyama’s sign. The taller boy breathed out and whispered a small “go”. 

Kageyama wasn’t expecting much, hell if someone told him to spike something with his eyes closed we would be at least a little wary of not seeing anything when being in the air. But Hinata ran full speed, no hesitation, and Kageyama was hit with realization. 

_He’s really going to do it._

Hinata didn’t look at him as he ran, didn’t look up or sideways, his eyes were focused straight ahead, as if he was about to run below the net and into the other side. Then he jumped, higher than all the other times that practice, and just before he took off, Kageyama saw he closed his eyes softly. 

_He trusts me, he really does._

Kageyama tossed his way, calculating exactly what needed to be done in order for that ball to fly directly into Hinata’s hand at the exact moment it came down. There was absolutely no window for mistakes: Hinata was going at full speed, full force, his hand wasn’t that big so Kageyama had only one opportunity to make a nearly impossibly accurate shot. He felt a grin crawl its way onto his lips. 

_There’s no such thing as an impossible quick, not for you._

_Not for us._

The sound was deafening, that of the ball hitting the other side of the court and bouncing off. When Hinata landed, his eyes were still closed. Time seemed to slow down, and Kageyama didn’t find any words. He let the air out in a low huff, which was half mixed with a laugh. Hinata was now staring at his palm, the skin a bit red. Then he glanced over to the other side of the gym, where the ball now rested. He looked at his palm again, at the net, and finally at Kageyama. 

Those eyes were now filled with gold, pure golden light that washed over Kageyama like a wave, a feeling he couldn’t quite name hit him hard and fast on his heart. 

“Oh my God.” Hinata murmured, apparently at a loss for words. How long had it lasted? A second, maybe less? Kageyama’s mouth twitched as he fought off an even bigger smile, because _this_ was all he had ever dreamed of. A spiker that was so fast that one second you see their feet leave the ground and in the blink of an eye, the ball is already hitting the ground on the other side. 

All those times Kageyama had prayed for someone like that to come along. The ultimate weapon. That perfect spiker came in the form of a 164 cm tall orange haired kid, who with the odds against him had struggled all the way through because he wanted to play volleyball that badly. He had fought with nails and teeth to get here, to get to Kageyama. The least he could do was honor that. 

At first Hinata was just a stranger, then a hated teammate, but now they had finally clicked together, setter and spiker, together against whatever laid on the other side of the net. 

“OH MY GOD.” Hinata screamed and for the first time Kageyama didn’t find it annoying. “OH MY GOD KAGEYAMA, WE DID IT.” 

“We did it.” he repeated, a little softer. The word “we” rolled off his tongue and it filled something that had been empty for a long time inside of him. 

“I WAS SO SCARED.” He continued. Kageyama was staring at him fondly without realizing. “BUT THEN MY HAND SPIKED THE BALL, AND THEN THE BALL WENT WHOOOOSH, OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE AND OH MY GOD WE DID IT, WE REALLY DID IT.” 

Hinata was so hyper he jumped towards Kageyama and he had no choice but to catch him in his arms. He froze, his cheek pressed against Hinata’s chest and his arms around his body. Hinata had his legs all wrapped up around Kageyama’s chest, his slim arms all thrown over the mess of black hair and he was squeezing him with his whole body, not a care in the world. Kageyama felt his cheeks grow hot but he couldn’t seem to move, overwhelmed by the closeness and overall _Hinata_ being all over him. Still, he didn’t let go. 

The shorter boy purred while he rubbed his black hair with a content smile, kind of what Daichi did with him, and then seemed to freeze as well, realizing finally after many painfully slow seconds that this was _Kageyama_. He let himself drop and Kageyama loosened his grip on him as well, and as soon as his feet were on the ground again he took some large steps back. 

Kageyama’s heart was almost beating out of his chest, he could feel it in his face and roaring in his ears, and he didn’t dare look at Hinata. It was okay, he told himself, it was just a friendly exchange between teammates. Just that. Teammates hugged each other all the time, and they had just achieved something truly amazing, so it was understandable right? 

Still, he had felt his skin buzz with the contact and now there was just the dull aftermath. None of them had cared that the other was all sweaty because of practicing for so many hours, and Kageyama reminded himself that _they hated each other_, so why had that felt _so good?_

When he gained the courage to look over at Hinata, he realized he was as mortified as he was. His face was flushed bright red, he was curling his feet inwards and his hands were tightly wrapped around himself. He looked like he wanted the gymnasium to split open so he could jump in and disappear. 

“Kageyama I-” he started saying, but Kageyama shook his head before he could continue. 

“Don’t, just-” he bit his lip and sighed. “Go back to your position.” 

Hinata just nodded and hurried back to his spot, and the two made the silent pact of not discussing what had happened, just ignoring it until they both forgot about it or something. Kageyama had the sinking feeling that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. 

They kept practicing their quick, and this time Hinata actually participated on the input of strategies, finally coming to understand complex aspects of the game in his own weird way. They even managed to do what Hinata had done in middle school: run up as if he was going to spike from the left, and then at the last second he would run across the court and spike from the right. Kageyama felt powerful, that move and their quick would surely get them on the regulars, and maybe even dazzle opposing teams. It was a great advantage to have. 

“I think we should stop for now.” Hinata said, huffing. His ginger hair was sticking to the sides of his head and there was sweat beading all over his forehead. 

“What? You tired?” Kageyama mocked him, even though he was feeling a little tired himself. Hinata didn’t give him the chance to relax, so his legs were slightly shaking. It had already been hours. The implication made Hinata frown at him angrily. He felt like he had to bring back that old hate to balance it out with what had happened earlier. 

“No, you jerk!” he snapped back and Kageyama was strangely happy he did. “Suga told me we could stay but that we shouldn’t push it. It’s already 11pm, and I don’t want to get us all in trouble.” 

Kageyama just shrugged. He guessed that was true, so the two boys just started cleaning up and left the gym as neat as possible, and then decided it was best to go their ways without having to have an awkward goodbye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! ;)  
Here's more of our favorite duo slowly realizing some things about their relationship.   
I love seeing your comments, it really does fill me with joy and gives me the motivation to keep writing, so thank you all so much!!  
I hope you like it and have a great week! <3


	5. I'll get through with him

Kageyama wished with all his might for the next day not to be any different. He couldn’t quite get Hinata out of his head and he was incredibly embarrassed about it. He had told himself it wasn’t a big deal: maybe he was just excited to see Hinata again so they could show the others their quick, that and nothing else. Kageyama was distracted throughout all his classes, actually being called up and scolded because of it a few times. He had sighed in frustration because a certain mop of orange hair had made a cozy home in his mind and he wasn’t going anywhere. To make it even worse, Hinata actually looked for him at break, spent the whole half hour rambling about attacks and techniques he had looked up on the Internet. Kageyama hadn’t said anything more than affirmative sounds, but wasn’t really bothered by the other’s presence. 

It was just… weird, because Hinata was no one outside of the court, and now he is hanging out with him in recess? Were they friends? Did Hinata want them to be friends? Would Kageyama even consider that idea? 

He simply told himself that Hinata saw him as just his setter, someone he needed to know in order to succeed. It was true that they needed to get in synch in order to play, and even though they couldn’t really achieve the third years’ deep connection, it was alright to try and get to know each other a bit better. All for the sake of volleyball and absolutely nothing else.

As soon as the bell rang to mark the end of his classes, Kageyama marched straight to the gym. He knew it would be empty because the other guys liked to linger for a bit before actually heading to practice, so he would have the space for himself, to do serve drills or any other thing that needed adjustment. What he did not expect was to see a tiny redhead in the middle of the field.

Hinata was stretching; he was almost on a full split and leaning down over his leg, his forehead actually touching his knee. He didn’t seem to be in any distress, as if that position was completely natural.

_Damn, he’s flexible_ was all Kageyama could think for a good 5 seconds before snapping back to reality. He walked towards the dressing room without bothering to say hello and started changing right away, trying to ignore the annoying blush that had crept onto his cheeks. Volleyball players were pretty integrated athletes, but Kageyama doubted he could bend that way himself. In any case it wasn’t like that was important. 

When Hinata noticed Kageyama was there, he shot him a pouty frown that came out more playful than annoyed. Kageyama didn’t know if that was on purpose or not. It was strange how Hinata was literally the definition of sunlight and smiled widely at everyone expect at him. No, he was reserved the special Hinata looks of “you idiot”, “what you said wasn’t funny” and “I’m stabbing you in my mind”. Kageyama was sure that if he said that out loud he would be called crazy. He shook his head, craving for all his thoughts to disappear and just focus on playing. That had become especially hard now that Hinata was on the team, and Kageyama was always alert and watching Hinata’s every move. The little shrimp had the tendency of challenging him out of the blue and getting an unfair advantage so Kageyama had to always be prepared to do something ridiculous. He didn’t care what it was as long as Hinata didn’t win, and it usually drove their captain mad. If it wasn’t for Suga (_it’s just healthy competition! They’re not actually going to run all the way to Tokyo_) Daichi would have already obliterated them.

The pair of captains actually came through the door holding their beam bags. Suga smiles at them and waves, Daichi just nods. They speak for a little while before the silver haired guy skips towards the changing rooms. Kageyama isn’t one for gossip, nor is he interested in anybody’s life, but he can’t help but notice Daichi staring longingly at Suga as we walks away, squeezing the strap of his bag between his hands. He has an unspoken thing in his eyes, something so profound Kageyama feels like he is intruding in an intimate moment. 

He realizes Hinata also noticed the quick exchange and raises an eyebrow at him. Kageyama shrugs and they don’t say anything else. For some reason he knows what Hinata is thinking, everyone on the team (except maybe him and Tsukkishima) seemed to be itching to know if something truly was going on between the two captains. It was undeniable that they had their moments, little sparks in the form of them being physically close, leaning against each other, worrying when one of them lightly sprained a finger or fell down, playful stabs and private jokes along with complementing words in a rather flirtatious tone. 

Not that Kageyama cared, because he didn’t, but Hinata seemed to look at them fondly sometimes and not knowing why could get Kageyama on a spiral.

They were in the middle of warming up, Hinata already giving him a look of defiance, when the doors busted open with a loud bang, and he heard Daichi swear under his breath. 

“GUYS” it was Tanaka; standing at the door frame looking like he had just won the lottery. Kageyama thought the guy could be annoying sometimes, but he was a powerful spiker so he tried not to complain about him. However, his vibrant personality often got to his nerves. The rest of the team looked a bit confused, shooting odd looks between then, wondering what the hell was going on. 

Tanaka stepped to the side, disappearing for a second before coming through the door again, raising a small guy over his head with his arms, like that scene from the Lion King. He was even humming a celestial tune as he walked slowly and solemnly, as if that guy was a precious treasure. The little guy was playing along, his eyes closed and arms spread out in the air, making his triumphant arrival. Kageyama looked sideways at Hinata, who had a wide smile that he did not understand. He looked around to see if anyone was sharing his confusion at the display, but found every older member of the group with a grin on their face. 

“Noya!” he heard Suga sing happily as he ran up to the guy that had been let down by Tanaka and hugged him tightly, almost tackling him to the floor. As if on cue, everybody turned to look at Daichi but he was also laughing with some kind of joy they hadn’t seen in him.

“Hey, setter!” the guy exclaimed, smiling at Suga. “Missed me?”

“Like you wouldn’t imagine.” Daichi answered, walking up to them with a serious expression. The new guy stood straighter and Kageyama couldn’t help but gasp at how _short_ he was. He had dark hair that was spiked upwards and a little fringe of dirty blond hair resting on his forehead. His eyes were cat-like and his body slim, he was wearing an old white t-shirt with some characters on it. He looked up at Daichi and crossed his arms. 

“Captain.” He said, his voice deep. Kageyama wondered for a second if there was tension between the two guys, given how stiff they were acting around each other. 

“Libero.” Daichi answered, and Kageyama perked up at the word. 

“I’ve had enough time to reflect about my actions, Captain. May I come back to the team?” he asked, and that’s when Daichi’s mask slipped and he enveloped the guy in a bone crushing hug, both of them laughing at their little play. Kageyama was really confused to that point. 

“First years!” Tanaka called, throwing an arm on the guy’s shoulders, having to lean down a little to do so. “Meet Nishinoya Yuu, best damn libero this team has ever seen.”

“Stop it, Tanaka.” He laughed slightly, shoving the taller guy playfully.

“Guess the Karasuno Guardian Deity really is back.” Suga giggled, looking fondly at Nishinoya. 

“Hey everyone!” he saluted, his voice high pitched and loud. Kageyama couldn’t help but see some of Hinata in the short guy, in a way that was enthusiastic and obnoxious. Despite that, he was kind of intrigued by the idea of playing with him, anxious to know if the guy was as good as Tanaka said he was. The older members of the team seemed to know him, while the first years seemed to be out of the loop. Except for Hinata, who was smiling widely at Nishinoya and standing there beside him. Kageyama noticed he was even shorter than Hinata, which would have been aggravating if he wasn’t a libero.

He was quick to realize that Hinata didn’t really know the libero per se. He wasn’t proud but he had heard Suga and Daichi talking about needing to convince someone to play again if they wanted to have a chance at winning. Soon after they had brought Hinata onto their conversation and the redhead had obviously nodded along. Kageyama had been dying to know what that was about, mainly because he wanted to know why that person was so crucial to the team. Hinata’s excessive use of ‘senpai’ told Kageyama he had been used to draw the other guy along. Some second years liked to be called senpai and Nishinoya was no exception, so as long as a first year kept calling him that, he would stay, or that’s what Kageyama thought.

After just a few minutes of practice, he came to the conclusion that Nishinoya was indeed crucial to win. Tanaka hadn’t been lying about the guy’s ability, he had very fast and sharp reflexes that could top Hinata’s, he seemed to have an amazing control of his body and, best of all, he had absolutely no problem with diving straight to the floor if it meant saving a ball. As time went by Kageyama noticed his skin was covered in bruises, some fresh and some others already fading, all over his knees and sometimes his arms. Playing libero meant withstanding a good share of painful moves, throwing oneself to the floor every other play was sure to get a guy battered like that. But seeing Nishinoya play, Kageyama knew he respected him, and was actually a tiny bit glad Hinata’s persuasion had worked on him.

Kageyama was willing to postpone the showcase of their new quick to the next day, given the circumstances of Nishinoya coming back and he didn’t want to add to the fuss. However he wasn’t quick enough to tell Hinata and he was already jumping excitingly and telling the captain about it. Great.

“You better jump, dumbass.” He told Hinata in a whisper. “Don’t you dare embarrass both of us.”

“Please.” Hinata scoffed, and the fact that he didn’t seem worried gave Kageyama a sense of relief. “Why don’t you just trust me?” 

_I do trust you_ he thought, but didn’t say it out loud. His complicated feelings about Hinata could wait; right now he needed to focus. As promised, Hinata jumped as high as his little body allowed him, and hearing Nishinoya gasp made Kageyama almost lose the battle with a smile. He delivered the ball perfectly and the spike was successful, just as they had practiced. Hinata smiled and turned to the captains, like a child looking for approval. Kageyama felt the nice chill of pride seeing all the stunned faces of his teammates. 

“You guys, that was amazing!” Nishinoya exclaimed, skipping towards Hinata. “Do you think you could do it again to see if I can catch it?”

“Sure!” Hinata replied, his eyes shining happily like they did when someone wanted to play with him specifically.

Nishinoya’s question wasn’t challenging, Kageyama knew that, but it still made his gut twist. He wanted their quick to be absolutely unstoppable, so maybe he needed to try it with a highly skilled libero. Whether Nishinoya could receive or not, the team would benefit either way. 

“Bring it!” he shouted from the other side of the court, and Kageyama was pleased when Hinata spiked harder than before. He didn’t know if Hinata was actually controlling where the ball went down but it seemed to be a different direction every time, which made it harder to receive. The first time, the libero hesitated and was too late. The second time however, he came a bit closer but the ball still hit the floor. He asked for one more and Kageyama saw that his eyes were tracking Hinata’s every movement, scanning him as well and just absorbing obscene amounts of information. The duo scored five points in a row, and the sixth time Kageyama tossed he saw that Nishinoya was standing on the left despite Hinata spiking from the right. He thought it was weird, but then as the ball flew to Hinata’s spiking hand; Nishinoya launched himself for it and received it almost perfectly accurately with a rolling dive. 

He let out a long sigh and hung his head back as Tanaka clapped and cheered for a so called “rolling thunder”.

“That was awesome!” Hinata said, jumping on his heels. Kageyama had to admit it, the guy was incredibly good. 

“Nice receive, Noya.” Daichi complemented him, calling for the end of practice.

“Thanks Cap, I’ve been practicing.” Nishinoya grinned, getting up slowly and stretching his arms over his head. 

“I have to say, we’ve got a good team going on.” Tanaka pointed out, shoving Nishinoya playfully, the smaller guy returning it without spite. 

“Yeah.” He murmured, and his cat eyes seemed to darken slightly as he let out a sigh. He suddenly looked sad, nostalgic even with a smile on his lips. “Only thing missing is our giant dork of an ace”

“Noya…” Suga said kindly. Kageyama stopped tying his shoes at the mention. The team had an ace as well? Why wasn’t he here? Also, why had it taken Nishinoya so long to get to the team? Why wasn’t he here from the start?

“It’s fine, Suga” the libero shrugged. “I’ll get through with him.”

.

Nishinoya had had one hell of a month. Upon being suspended for what he thought was the most ridiculous situation ever, he had gone through a wide variety of emotions. At first he thought it wasn’t a very big deal, he was sure he could handle not going to school for a week. What he wasn’t so sure about was the no club activities for a _month_. Volleyball meant the world to Noya, it was his safe space, an opportunity to blow steam if he needed it, to take his mind off of things when he was overwhelmed, and he absolutely adored playing with his team. He loved the matches; he loved the thrill and adrenaline of it all. So not being able to step foot on the court with all his friends had really taken a toll on his mood and casted a dark cloud over his head. And heart.

The realization of him not being able to even practice with the team for such a long time sunk in on his third day of suspension. He had had a sinking feeling in his chest; he didn’t have the motivation to even get out of bed. He stayed there for hours on end, feeling like he had lost a piece of his purpose. Suga and Daichi were sweet enough to come visit him when they had the chance, and they had found him in such a miserable state it was almost depressing. The pair had literally dragged him out of his room and forced him to put on some decent clothes and style his hair so that they could go out. After that they had checked on him to make sure he wasn’t sulking in his blanket fort and honestly, Noya really appreciated it. 

It still didn’t cancel the fact that he felt like something was missing. After that week he had gone out and looked for something to do, determined to plan ahead and become even better. He had found a team of nice ladies that let him practice with them even if it was just for a while, they let him dive for their blocked spikes and intimately forced him to stay on his feet and keep his reflexes sharp. 

Having to go home directly after class was a nightmare, saying goodbye to his friends as they went to practice was painful, but what made it even more painful was that not once had he spoken to Asahi after what had happened. Noya could understand to a certain extend what Asahi was feeling: he had a tendency of taking the blame and he _knew_ the big guy was feeling guilty and even thinking he had gotten Noya suspended. Which wasn’t true, Noya had done that to himself with his bad habit of taking things a little too seriously and exploding easily. He remembers vividly the sheer indignation he felt when Asahi hadn’t turned up to practice after their lost match. Sure, it had been hard to lose that way against Date Tech, but they all knew what it had done to Asahi: having every one of his spikes blocked had broken him completely. They had argued about it, Asahi had broken that stupid broom and then decided to quit the team. 

Of course Noya was mad. He was mad and hurt that Asahi would just walk out on them like that. Did he not understand it was Noya’s fault as well? He was the libero, he was supposed to have their back and he wasn’t capable of saving any of the blocked balls. The loss was on him too, but Asahi was shouldering all the blame and turning it into that self-hatred that Noya hated so much. He had lashed out on a hallway (which was stupid enough on it’s own), loud and raw and pain-stricken, shouting _how dare you abandon us now? Why the fuck are you abandoning me?_

He could see now that he had taken it a bit too personal. He knew Asahi, he knew he had troubles dealing with certain things and yet, he had called him out aggressively and just gotten himself banned from the team for breaking a vase when the vice principal was around. That hadn’t been a very smart move. He had thought about Asahi almost every day, alone at night staring at the ceiling, longing for the opportunity to see him and talk to him, set things straight between them. It didn’t help the fact that out of all things, Asahi was the one that made his mind go blank. The guy never came to visit him; he was always taking different paths to not meet him in the halls and just avoiding his eyes. Noya had bothered both Suga and Daichi about it, asking what the hell was going with their friend, if he really hated him that much to not want to see him at all. 

“He doesn’t hate you.” Daichi had told him for the tenth time. “He’s just ashamed of what happened. You know how nervous he is, if anything he thinks _you_ hate _him._”

“We’re trying to knock some sense into him as well.” Suga said, but it didn’t sound like it was working. 

Now that a loud kid with orange hair had coaxed him back on the team, he was thinking about just confronting Asahi and being done with it. He was scared out of his mind, of course. What if Asahi took it badly and became mad at him? There were a thousand ways that it could go wrong, but after being on the court that day and feeling the familiar excitement and rush in his veins, Noya decided it was time Asahi felt that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!   
Since I am away I had to edit this on my phone oof   
But here it is! Hope you enjoy it and thank you so so so sooo much for all the support! :') <3


	6. I will always be there

Standing at the end of the hallway that led to the roof, Noya was absolutely terrified. He knew what lied on the other side; he knew what he had to do if he was brave enough to take that first step. It was a weird issue, how Noya felt about Asahi. When they were on the court it was like they were connected with a thread, mentally communicating with each other without much trouble and celebrating the other’s successes. Once that was over it felt like they became strangers: Asahi would avoid looking him in the eye and rubbed his neck constantly as if he was uncomfortable by his presence. Noya on his side was a pretty loud and energetic guy, but when it came to being in the same room as Asahi and knowing he was watching him, he would become quiet and watchful. All of that made really hard what would otherwise be really easy. Right now Noya wished he could just go there, tell Asahi ‘hey man, we really need you back in the team please’ and like, give him a manly slap on the back. But it wasn’t like that between them. 

Noya cared deeply for Asahi; it was just a little awkward the way he seemed to blush every time he said something nice about him. Noya complemented Asahi all the time, and the taller guy would complete freeze and stutter his way out of it. Still, there was a time when they could be comfortable around each other, they talked about things that weren’t volleyball-related and Noya really felt like Asahi was more than just a teammate, but his friend. Now all that had changed and Noya couldn’t help but mourn it a little bit. He stood in front of the door that led to the building’s roof, knowing damn well what was on the other side. Asahi would be reading something for an assignment, because he was responsible like that. He liked to come up here because it was quiet and private, and Asahi wasn’t a guy that liked crowds that much. Suga and Daichi had let him know that this was his opportunity to have a real talk with Asahi, so he wasn’t going to waste it. 

He opened the door slowly, trying not to make it creek, and there he was. Asahi was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, leaning against the railing, with a book on his lap. He was hunched slightly forward, captured by whatever was written in those pages. Noya noticed his hair was a bit longer than he remembered, the chocolate locks tied up in a bun, some of them loose and falling around his face. His chin still had that slight facial hair he liked to keep. Noya just stared at that odd figure of his and hated what his mind thought immediately: pure, kind, and insanely beautiful. 

He really should say something instead of just being there staring like a creep, so in a rush he stuttered out his name and cringed himself to death. Asahi raised his head with a slight frown, probably wondering who had found him in his fortress of solitude, but then his features lit up like he had just gotten the best news of his life and with that speed that was uncharacteristic of such a large body, he got up and rushed towards Noya, who didn’t know what to do. 

“You’re back!!” Asahi exclaimed, throwing his massive arms around him and squeezing so tightly Noya let out a choked sound. He was… confused, positively overwhelmed because _Oh my God Asahi is hugging me_ and just fighting not to completely die happily in that moment. “You’re really back!!” 

“Asahi, you’re squishing me.” He managed to say, his feet barely reaching the ground. The third year loosened his grip but didn’t let go, still hugging him like he was a ragdoll. 

“I’m so glad you’re back I’ve missed you so much!” he said, happiness in his voice like Noya had not heard, ever. 

“Okay big guy, put me down.” He said. Why was Asahi acting like that? He had been back at school for at least 3 weeks now, had he forgotten how he avoided him all this time? Was that not on purpose? Why was Asahi so happy to see him? Surely it wasn’t such a big deal. But Asahi let him put his feet on the ground once again, and when he straightened up Noya saw what he believed to be the most accurate description of heaven: Asahi smiling widely and genuinely. It was like a wild ride, a couple seconds after that Asahi seemed to process what was really happening and instantly recoiled, shifting his eyes nervously all around, not landing on Noya, a cute pink blush present on his cheeks. Noya smiled: that was the Asahi he knew, sweet but also quite shy. 

“I guess I’m back.” Noya said, staring at his shoes. “But you already knew that.” 

At that Asahi stayed silent and bit his lip nervously. He seemed not to know what to do with his body, so he ushered Noya to sit with him on the floor, both of them staring at the horizon. The wind was picking up Asahi’s loose locks and he quickly pulled them behind his ears. He swallowed and continued, still not looking at Noya. 

“I know, I’m… sorry about that.” He looked like he really meant it. “I was just, feeling really guilty for what happened to you because of me and I guess I wasn’t ready to face you just yet. I’m sorry if it hurt you.” 

_It did_ Noya thought, but didn’t say anything. He couldn’t really blame Asahi, could he? The guy was a wreck when it came to this sort of things and Noya knew he needed time to think. Still, it had warmed his heart how Asahi, apparently having taken his time to process things, had welcomed him into his arms as if he hadn’t seen him in a long while and was truly glad he had returned. Noya felt the necessity to brush it off and ignore the twisting feeling in his gut. 

“Hey, it’s alright.” He punched him lightly and Asahi yelped but laughed softly after. 

“Can you… Can you forgive me?” he asked, now looking at Noya straight in the eye and the smaller guy saw such raw regret that it almost knocked the air out of him. 

“Asahi…” he started saying, and the taller guy shook his head. 

“I know what you’re gonna say.” He muttered “That I shouldn’t be sorry because it wasn’t my fault that you got suspended. But the thing is, if I hadn’t failed the team, if I hadn’t been so… so…”

“Don’t you dare call yourself useless because I will slap you.” Noya said, feeling that old burn creep up his throat. The same burn that had let him to make such rash decisions that ended really badly for him. 

“If I hadn’t been so useless then you wouldn’t have been mad in the first place! And you wouldn’t have broken that stupid vase!” he exclaimed, real sorrow in his voice. 

Noya considered slapping him lightly just to keep his word, but decided against it. Asahi really looked mortified by the whole thing, and Noya realized he had been all self-centered thinking he was the only one hurting, when that clearly wasn’t true. 

“I forgive you then.” He breathed out, and Asahi looked surprised. “I still don’t think it was your fault, no one thinks it was your fault that we lost that match or that I was suspended. But if you want me to forgive you, I will. I forgive you, dork.” 

“I…” Asahi started, his cheeks starting to turn a nice shade of red. “Thank you, Noya.” 

“I think you know what I came here for.” Noya said, before he could get sidetracked and lost in just… Asahi. He chuckled sadly and raised a hand to curl one of his locks on his finger. 

“Maybe I do.” He whispered, and Noya knew he didn’t want to do this, but he was determined to make things turn in his favor. In favor of the team. 

“I saw the team yesterday.” He decided to start slow, gradually get to the point so that Asahi wasn’t overwhelmed. “Man, you would not believe what I saw. For starters, Daichi is the captain!” 

“Yeah we all saw that coming.” Asahi joked, and Noya took it as a good sign. 

“I mean I was only there for one practice and I could already tell he is one of the tough ones. Suga is vice-captain, and I think that if he wasn’t all those kids would be doomed. Those two tend to balance each other out. Tanaka hasn’t changed a thing; he’s still over excited about the game. And the first years, God they have this move that is just… impressive! My words would not be enough to describe it just… you should see it for yourself.” 

Nice segway there Noya. Despite that, it didn’t go that smoothly because Asahi’s expression fell into one of bitterness. He didn’t say anything; maybe hoping that if he was silent for long enough then Noya would lose his patience and drop it. While it was true that Noya wasn’t very patient, little did Asahi know that he could be very, very persistent. 

“Asahi.” He called, but the guy only blinked. Noya watched him clench his fists until his knuckles turned white. 

“I know what you’re thinking, that I’m a coward for not going back to the team after all the shit that happened, but it’s not that easy!” he argued. 

“Okay, listen to me.” Noya said. He knew he needed to choose his words very carefully if he wanted to succeed. “When I was banned from club activities, I was crushed. I felt like a fundamental part of me was missing, and it genuinely hurt. I know you love the game as much as I do, Asahi. More than the game, you love the team. You adore the shit out of Suga and Daichi and Tanaka. I know it must be hard for you to be off the court, even if you think you don’t deserve to be in it.” 

Asahi didn’t say anything, but a certain glint in his eye told Noya he was right. 

“This deal of torturing yourself, it has to stop.” He continued. Asahi wasn’t looking at him but he knew he was listening. “When I had nothing to do on the afternoons, I went and trained outside of school. I trained my ass off to become a better libero for the team… for you.” the words seemed to get stuck in his throat, but he pushed them out nonetheless. “I spent hours upon hours practicing how to save balls that have been blocked, and I’m not gonna tell you I can get all of them but I’m better at it than before.” 

Still, there was silence. Heartbreaking silence that drove Noya up the wall and honestly, he didn’t know what else to do. 

“Come on, Asahi.” He begged. “You can’t do this to me. You have to come back.” 

“Noya…” he breathed out, and Noya knew that tone: the tone he used when he was about to deny something and wanted to let the person off softly. 

“Please, Asahi!” he almost cried. “I went in today because a first year got in my head and convinced me, but I…I cannot be in the court if you’re not there with me. I simply can’t. Please, without the ace Karasuno isn’t going anywhere!” 

“Why can’t you understand that I feel awful for what I did?!” he exclaimed, and Noya had the impulse to move back a bit. “You guys keep calling me ace like it’s no big deal, like I’m reliable, like I’m the one you can turn to when things get rough. Guess what! When things got rough I panicked and I screwed up! I was supposed to save the game and instead I ruined it all. Suga trusted me, giving me tosses again and again. You all trusted me, and I failed you. Add the fact that I can’t stop feeling guilty for what I did to you. How do you think all that makes me feel??” 

“Sometimes Suga makes the wrong decision and tosses to the spiker with the most blocks. Sometimes Daichi or Tanaka mess up their jump and end up touching the net or doing an out. Sometimes I’m not even close to save a ball, or I screw up a receive and we don’t even get the opportunity to attack. Sometimes we all miscalculate our serves. We all make mistakes, Asahi. But we do not dwell on it because we got each other’s backs. Let us have yours.” 

“It’s not easy for me, Noya.” He admitted. “I know we aren’t perfect, but when I screw up I feel the weight of the world in my shoulders…”

“I know.” Noya said, in barely a whisper. “I might not know exactly how you feel, but I got a pretty good idea. It’s the sinking feeling I get when the ball keeps falling on our court and I’m just a millimeter short. It’s the feeling of ending a match without saving a single ball, feeling like we could have done so much more if I had done my job right. I get overwhelmed; I punch the floor and yell bloody murder. I can tell you do all that when you fail; you just bottle it up and let it consume you. I understand that you needed some time off, but please… it’s been enough, the team needs you.” 

Asahi bit his lip and Noya felt his throat close up. He swallowed and decided to metaphorically fling himself off the roof by saying the following: 

“I need you.” 

At that Asahi stopped breathing and Noya really believed this was the end: he was going to die of embarrassment and kill Asahi with a pity overdose. Instead, the long haired guy cleared his throat and Noya saw his eyes move around nervously as he wrapped his long arms around himself. The libero decided that there was nothing else to say. He had played all his cards, he had worn his heart on his sleeve and if after all of that Asahi still didn’t want to play again, he would leave it. There was a limit for the pressure he was willing to put on Asahi, and he was no one to force him into doing something he didn’t want to do, even if it hurt him. Much to Noya’s surprise, Asahi turned to look at him, his deep brown eyes filled with something he couldn’t quite name. 

“Alright.” He whispered, his lips curled in the shyest of smiles. 

.

Asahi knew he could be difficult at times. A lot of things got on his nerves, it was fairly easy to get under his skin, and all in all he was a scary cat. His friends had developed an ability of persuasion to get him to do stuff, from joining the volleyball team to helping them sneak into places. The team had filled one of the many holes of his heart, specially one small, spiky haired guy. Even if it was really ironic, Asahi felt safe around Noya, the guy’s eccentric personality seemed to balance him out. With Nishinoya everything was much easier, Asahi laughed and felt that nothing was wrong at least for a while. During matches, Noya’s words of encouragement had saved him from having a meltdown plenty of times. Asahi cared a lot for Noya, he held him close to his heart more than anyone else on the team. What had really broken him down in the Date Tech match was how much things with Noya had changed, and how he was aware it was his fault. 

The memory of that match still made bile rise up to his throat, and the worst thing was that he could remember every little detail. Tanaka was mad, not really screaming but deadly silent; Daichi had had a rough week and was exhausted, Asahi remembers seeing his legs shaking slightly. Suga was worried for everybody, and he kept cursing under his breath every time the other team scored. And Noya… Noya was furious, he had sensed him giving up and not really jumping anymore and he had yelled at him to snap out of it, that the game wasn’t over, so loud that the referee had given him a warning. He was throwing himself to the floor recklessly and that had put Asahi on a spin. 

He remembers, remembers clearly the hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. He remembers the edges of his vision starting to get blurry; he remembers his hands shaking uncontrollably. He remembers not being able to speak; he remembers pure and raw panic. It had struck him with such force that for a moment he was sure he wasn’t going to step foot on a court again. He was sure the captain at the time would punish him with a thousand laps. He was even considering that couch Ukai would kick him out of the team after yelling at him for several minutes. 

Then Noya had exploded between his hands and honestly, it was way more than Asahi could take. He spent weeks without saying a word, constantly biting his fingernails and scratching his head. People asked him what was wrong, Suga and Daichi were worried out of their minds and Asahi just shut them out for a while. And now comes Noya again, and in a second Asahi loses his control over his actions and all he can do is hug him as if he had returned from the war. He was just so… overwhelmed with Noya, with his cat eyes and long lashes, with his pinkish lips and his deep stare. He knew Noya was mad, he had the right to be, but in that moment it felt like he had recovered a piece of his old self. 

How could he say no when Noya was staring at him with those eyes? Eyes that wanted him to come back so sincerely, that claimed to need him. 

It wasn’t difficult to believe. Asahi needed Noya as well. 

“Just promise me something.” He said, feeling his heart flutter. “Promise me you’ll be there to have my back.” 

Noya had given him one of those wide smiles accompanied by a chuckle, and much to his surprise he had laid a gentle hand on his arm. 

“I will always be there.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
I'm so happy with the amount of support and nice comments this has that I might cry :')  
Thank you all so so so fucking much for that, you make my life a little bit happier  
Here's another chapter with our loud child and our gentle giant talking things out  
hope you enjoy and have a really nice week!
> 
> for all you DaiSuga fans, next chapter will be focused on them, just not in the way you expect hehe >:)


	7. I don't want you to leave me!

The second Noya told him what he was planning to do; Daichi knew Asahi was coming back to the team. It amused him how he had also tried to talk Asahi out of his self-loathing cloud, he believed Suga had tried to physically force him to go to practice and yet it only took Noya a few words shared on the roof, a couple intense moments (as Asahi had shakenly described) and voila, Asahi was wearing his practice clothes again and running around in volleyball shoes. 

“Did I or did I not tell you.” Daichi snarled at Suga, who was smiling fondly at Asahi practicing receives. “It was going to work. They were both going to come back” 

“Well the big guy does have a soft spot for Noya. Can’t seem to say no to him.” Suga sang, walking away not before placing a soft hand on his arm. Daichi felt his touch linger on his skin, and suddenly felt a chill. That was weird, and Tanaka has giving him a look. 

“What?” he asked, crossing his arms self-consciously. 

“Um, nothing.” The guy said, continuing to train. 

Daichi only hummed. Throughout practice the first years miraculously behaved, Asahi was doing a good job adjusting and Noya was beaming. Tanaka was weirdly quiet, but otherwise really focused. Suga was at the side of the court speaking to Kageyama, making hand motions in the air and the younger boy seemed to be listening like his life depended on it. For a moment Daichi forgot what he was doing, he only had eyes for what Suga was doing. He started laughing and Kageyama gave a shadow of a smile, and then Suga rubbed his mess of black hair and winked at him before walking away. 

Daichi felt his chest burn, and he didn’t realize he was squeezing the volleyball between his hands so tightly his knuckles looked like they were about to crack. 

“Your staring is pretty obvious, cap.” Tanaka said, taking the ball from him and snapping his fingers in front of Daichi’s face. “You look as if you’re trying to set him on fire with your mind, what did the poor guy do?” 

Daichi didn’t answer, just shook his head and waved it off. He was a bit confused. Surely he wasn’t_ jealous of a 16 year old_. Also, he had no right to be jealous of someone because Suga wasn’t… his. There was absolutely no reason for that to have happened, the thought of Suga winking at another guy making his gut twist painfully. They had been friends for years now, and Daichi had never felt something so strong and downing, of wanting Suga all to himself. You could be jealous of your friends talking to other people, right? Because you don’t want them to abandon you or something like that, replace you with a different person. That was totally what was going on and totally reasonable. 

That’s what Daichi thought about for the rest of the night after that. 

The next day went pretty similar, but it was a different person. This time it was Yamaguchi, who was blushing slightly while talking to Suga about something Daichi was dying to hear. Suga had those kind eyes he made when he cared about someone, and was listening carefully. Then he wrapped his arm around the younger boy’s shoulder and gave him a little shake, making him giggle. And the pain was there again, hot and burning against his ribcage and truth be told, Daichi was starting to doubt this jealousy was just the “friendly” kind. 

Suga thinks of the other guys as his children, he told himself over and over. There’s nothing going on. There’s nothing to worry about. You wouldn’t _need_ to be worried in the first place! Suga can talk and laugh and touch whoever he pleases, whoever he chooses. That doesn’t mean he’s gonna choose one of the first years I mean _come on_. But if he did it would be totally cool right? If he wanted to go out with someone other than Daichi for a change, they spent an awful amount of time together so it is only fair he gets to hang out with other people, which made sense. Maybe people who wanted him close, who wanted to touch him to kiss him and that was completely acceptable and not at all a reason to get this upset I have no idea why you’re rambling like this Daichi you’re being _stupid. _

“Dai?” he heard his favorite voice in the world, and finally snapped out of it. Suga was staring at him with a worried frown. “Is everything okay? You looked sick.” 

“I’m okay!” he exclaimed, a bit too fast. Suga’s eyes narrowed, he could probably see through his lie. “I was just thinking about something, got a bit overwhelmed then ha ha.” 

“Something bothering you?” he asked, his eyes still had a spark of concern. “You know you can talk to me.” 

“Nope! Everything is super fine!” he said, and deep down he knew he sounded a bit pathetic. Everything was definitely not super fine. 

“If you say so.” He shrugged. Great, now he thinks Daichi is hiding something from him and if anything pissed off Suga, it was Daichi keeping secrets from him. Their relationship was built on absolute trust, Suga had trust him with parts of him that no one else saw, things that had been kept in the dark for so long Suga himself didn’t want to say. Daichi held a bag full of secrets that he would be taking to the grave, stuff Suga had said with tears in his eyes, both from sadness and rage. So when Daichi kept something from Suga he would get pissed off and refuse to talk to him. Daichi knew that if he said something like “I don’t want to talk about it right now” then Suga would understand and drop the topic, but this kind of avoiding the questions was something Suga didn’t tolerate. 

“Are you mad at me? I’m sorry.” Daichi said while they were making their way to the locker room to change for practice. Suga snorted and laughed hoarsely, still frowning and Daichi wanted to shove his thumb in the middle of his eyes to make the creases disappear. 

“I’m not mad, what are you talking about?” he questioned. “You’re acting weird, what’s going on?” 

Maybe Daichi had read the situation very, very wrong. What was happening to him? Why couldn’t he think straight? He shook his head and laughed awkwardly, waving it off. Suga gave him that “I’m trying to look pissed at you but I really am not” and just went with him to the locker room like they usually did. Daichi tried to focus on literally anything else, but Suga’s presence was prickling his skin in a weird way that hadn’t been there before. He took off his shirt and changed into his shorts, throwing on a plain white shirt that he was 90% sure had been Suga’s at some point. Despite him trying to clear his head, his thoughts were still invaded by the silver haired guy, which wouldn’t have bothered him if it didn’t make his chest feel all funny. Maybe they should talk about it? Suga had always been there for him when he needed someone to listen, but would it be weird to talk about this feeling? Would it make him uncomfortable? Daichi was sure he himself would die midsentence. Something had changed and he couldn’t pinpoint what and it was driving him mad. The only idea he had was simple experimentation, maybe hang out with Suga outside of practice to see if the feeling was still there or if it was something happening at the gym. God, things didn’t make much sense but it was the only thing he could go on from. 

“Suga-” he asked, turning around in the bench and that’s when he knew for certain what he was feeling. Suga was standing in front of his locker, he had just taken off his shirt and his hair was messy from pulling it over his head. His uniform pants were unbuttoned and hanging low on his hips, the brim of his boxers barely visible. He turned to look at him with a question in his eyes, tilting his head to the side but Daichi could only stare. Stare at his pale skin, his prominent collarbones, the slight shadow of body hair on his pecs, the defined muscles of his abdomen, his hipbones and the happy trail that disappeared into his pants. Daichi’s mouth went completely dry and he had to swallow nervously. He was mortified that his cheeks were burning, he stuttered and for a moment he was just frozen because Suga was-

Beautiful. 

So goddamn attractive it was maddening, so perfect he was shook to the core by how much he would be willing to give in order to be with him. To have the privilege, the honor of running his hands over his skin, of placing soft kisses on his body, of feeling his fresh scent. The image was so utterly intoxicating Daichi was absolutely convinced Suga had him wrapped around his finger and he would do _anything_ to please him. 

“Dai?” Suga asked, covering himself a bit. Daichi came back to the real world and was left as a hot mess in front of his best friend. 

“N-nothing, it’s nothing.” He stuttered, turning back to hide his blushed face, although it was too late to really do that. He heard Suga scoff angrily and hastily finish changing to later walk out of the locker room without waiting for him. Daichi sank his head in his hands and sighed heavily. Suga must have noticed, the feeling was so incredibly overwhelming Daichi couldn’t have hidden it well. Was he angry? Had he made him uncomfortable? Had he screwed it up once and for all? He just didn’t understand! He had seen Suga shirtless before! Hell, they had been lying on his couch in only their underwear eating ice cream on long summer afternoons. Why had this been so different? What was happening to him and his mind and his heart? 

Suga didn’t say anything about it, but Daichi could tell he was pissed. Maybe not because of what had happened in the locker room per se, but because Daichi had been acting weird around him and not knowing what was going on was getting under Suga’s skin. The captain was distracted all through practice and had to be called out several times by Asahi, because Suga wasn’t saying a word. The first years didn’t notice, but Tanaka and Noya were a bit wary because the pair was not talking to each other. Every time Suga and Daichi had an argument the air would become tense and a bit prickly. Everyone that had been around long enough considered their relationship as something fundamental in the normal state of things, that’s how close they seemed to be. When something was somehow wrong, the guys would whisper “maybe mom and dad are mad at each other”. Suga knew, but Daichi had no idea. 

It was honestly a relief that Takeda sensei had managed to convince Ukai to couch the team, Daichi had literally felt a weight lift off his shoulders and it was pretty useful now that there was a bundle of confusing feelings on his chest and he could barely focus on receiving. Having two setters on the team was also useful to do three-on-three matches, and although some of the older spikers grumbled a bit when they had to play on Kageyama’s side, it was mostly pretty friendly. Kageyama didn’t seem to mind, it was like he only needed Hinata’s approval. When they were on opposite sides of the net they had a playful rivalry that didn’t compare to the one that had burned at the start of the year. Spiking wasn’t Daichi’s specialty, but training with Ukai forced them all to have skills of every position (except Noya, who literally wasn’t allowed to). Pretty soon the coach realized the Hinata-Kageyama duo was pretty unstoppable, so he made sure that if they were together Noya was on the other team. The libero was becoming increasingly good at stopping their freak quick. Daichi had only managed to catch it once. 

They were playing and Daichi was starting to clear his head of all the nonsense that was going through it. It may have had to do with Suga being on the opposite team, because Daichi knew that if they were placed together they wouldn’t be able to synch. It was their turn to serve and Daichi received it cleanly, Kageyama set it to the center (he was starting to learn how every spiker preferred the tosses to be) and Asahi sent it flying to the other side. It was a pretty smooth play and Ukai was sure to congratulate them. Noya caught up on the spike and Asahi looked almost too happy about it. It was a perfect ball for Suga to set, but instead of doing what a setter normally does he jumped high and spiked it back. It took everyone by surprise and Daichi threw himself to the floor to catch it but he was seconds too late. 

The other side cheered and gave Suga playful shoves, but the third year was sporting a shit-eating grin looking down at Daichi, still lying on the floor. 

“I didn’t know you could spike.” Daichi whispered, getting up and dusting himself off

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.” He answered, getting back into position without a second word. 

Everybody fell silent at the exchange and even Kageyama looked uncomfortable from the tension in the air. 

“Suga…” Daichi whispered, making his best “I’m sorry” eyes. He didn’t exactly know what he was sorry for but he wanted Suga to stop being sharp with him. 

“Head in the game, captain.” He called, and didn’t speak again. Daichi felt his gut twist painfully. Nobody commented on it, but Tanaka and Noya gave each other a knowing look. Daichi only groaned. 

When practice was over Daichi barely heard what coach Ukai was saying, and when they were cleaning up he noticed Suga had made it so they were on opposite sides of the gym. It didn’t really help his situation. The only comfort he had was knowing that no matter what Suga would wait for him at the exit. They could be absolutely furious at each other, but neither Suga nor Daichi had ever left the other one behind when it came to their tradition of walking to the stop together. Call it force of habit, but it was too engraved in their lives to not do it. 

“Azumane!” Daichi called, and he hated how he sounded desperate. Suga was walking out the door saying his goodbye so he knew he didn’t have much time. 

“…Sawamura?” Asahi murmured, skipping towards him. It weirded him out, Daichi never called him by his last name, none of them did. Something must be clearly wrong and considering what happened all during practice Asahi didn’t have a hard time coming up with why. 

“I…” he whispered, looking sideways. “I need to talk to you.” 

Daichi saw the pure fear invade his friend’s brown eyes, and there wasn’t time for him to explain that it was nothing bad before Asahi started stumbling over his words and shaking a bit, making Noya perk up in the distance, squinting at them. Noya was really protective of Asahi and Daichi didn’t need a ball of pure “FIGHT ME” on his plate. He had enough. 

“Oh god did I do something wrong today? I’m sorry I’m just out of shape you know? That’s no excuse but I can correct it I swear please don’t kick me off the team.” 

“God no!” Daichi was quick to clarify. “Nothing like that! I need to talk to you not as your captain, as your friend!” 

“Oh! Oh okay.” He breathed out and calmed down instantly. Out of the corner of his eye Daichi saw he wasn’t the target of Noya’s cat-eyed glare anymore. “S-sorry I freaked out on you, what’s up?” 

“Sawamura Daichi!” they heard Suga call from outside. Daichi froze at the use of his full name. “Are you coming or not??” 

He turned to look at Asahi who looked pretty concerned and almost pitiful. 

“I gotta go.” He whispered, and Asahi only nodded with a knowing look in his eyes. 

“Sure you do.” He answered, patting him on the shoulder. “He sounds pissed.” 

“Oh trust me, he is.” Daichi muttered and took a deep breath. “I’ll text you later tonight.” 

“Sure.” Asahi smiled and waved at him. “Good luck.” 

Daichi appreciated his friend’s wishes. Both of them knew how Suga was when he was angry. The last thing he saw before sprinting towards the door was Noya by Asahi’s side, looking at him with bright eyes and a kind smile. He swore he even saw Asahi blush slightly. 

When Suga saw him appear he starting walking, Daichi had to jog slightly to catch up with him. He ran his hands through his sweaty hair in an attempt to calm his nerves, but they were both completely silent on the way to the bus stop. When they arrived there Suga flopped on the bench and sighed heavily. It was already dark, the yellow light lamp casting shadows on his serious expression. Daichi sat down next to him, not as close as he normally would. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, and he meant it. Whatever he had said or done that had upset him, he was sorry for it. Suga turned to look at him and his eyes looked somber. 

“God, Daichi.” He scoffed. “You know I can’t stay mad at you. I just don’t know what the hell is happening and it… it… I don’t know. It frustrates me.” 

“Suga I…” he started, but his heart ached at Suga’s tone. He looked tired, and not only because of practice. 

“We are supposed to trust each other…”

“I do trust you!” he exclaimed, inching closer. 

“If you do trust me then why are you avoiding me, huh?” he asked. Daichi hung his head. “Every time I ask you what’s wrong you deflect me, every time I try to make sure you’re okay you push me away!” 

“Suga please… it’s not like that!” he whined. His heart was almost beating out of his chest; he could feel it in his throat and banging on his temples. “Besides, what was with the ‘there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me’? Did you say that just to spite me in front of everyone?” 

“Oh come on Sawamura.” Suga scoffed angrily. “My entire existence does not revolve around you.” 

“I’m not saying it does, but you’ve been all dry with me as well.” Daichi said. He did feel hurt but Suga looked exasperated. 

“You’re unbelievable. All I’ve done is tried to be there for you because I can tell, I… I can _feel_ you’re conflicted and it hurts me too, you selfish jerk!” his voice broke slightly and Daichi had to hold back tears. He had been so focused on himself that he hadn’t noticed that Suga was affected by his violently changing moods, that he too was confused and maybe a bit scared. “I thought you knew that, I thought you understood that whatever happens to you happens to me. But lately you’ve been distant and I’m thinking that maybe… maybe you want me to leave you alone but you could have told me something…anything!” 

“I don’t want you to leave me!” he cried. “I hate to be apart from you, I can’t stand it. I’m sorry I came off like that, please forgive me. It’s nothing you did or say, please Koushi, you have to believe me!” 

In that moment Daichi’s words were drowned by the sound of the bus arriving at the stop. Suga’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears and he let out a shaky breath as he stood up. Daichi caught his hand gingerly and Suga let him linger for a moment before he detached their fingers and got on the bus. It drove away with Suga and Daichi’s heart along with him, feeling like there was a hole on his chest. He sat there for a while, head on his hands and looking at the ground, feeling like now he had truly fucked up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!  
hope you're having a nice week  
Here's some teenage angst with our favorite captains, it was about time >:)  
Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated. I love hearing your feedback!


	8. You make me really happy

When Daichi got home, he didn’t feel like having dinner and went straight to his room. He took a very long shower, brushed his teeth and changed into his sweatpants and a shirt that again, was Suga’s. He sighed sadly and lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondered what Suga must be thinking right now. He turned his head to look at the framed pictures in his bedside table, knowing Suga had the same set. There was a picture of the third year trio, a weird collage of them with Tanaka and Noya, and a single photo of him with just Suga. He remembers that day, it was not long ago. They had just been declared captain and vice-captain. They were so happy Asahi had insisted of taking a picture of them with their team jackets. 

Daichi stopped torturing himself with the pictures and unlocked his phone. Still, his wallpaper was a silly selfie Suga had taken of them in one of Noya’s sleepovers. No matter how hard he tried, Suga was still everywhere in his life, it was something he couldn’t deny or escape. He remembered he had told Asahi he would text him and honestly, getting all this Suga stuff out of his chest sounded really nice in that moment. 

He sighs again when he realizes Suga is literally in _every single one_ of his group chats. The Karasuno male volleyball team group chat, the one named “Official League of Troublemakers” that included Tanaka, Noya and Asahi along with Suga, and the one called “The Triple Threat” which only had Asahi and the two of them. Groaning at the universe’s sick joke, he hurriedly created another one and just named it “EMERGENCY” 

Soon after the texts started popping out and Daichi was made aware of the usernames they all used in the app. Even if they wanted to just use their normal name Noya would hack their account to change it into something ridiculous. They still don’t know how he does it but they stopped fighting it a while ago. 

_Dad-ichi69 created the group chat “EMERGENCY” _

_AsahiBear: Hey, what was it that you wanted to talk about? _

Obviously Noya had picked that for him. That was another thing he needed to confront Asahi about but right now there were bigger issues, or at least a more pressing one. 

_Thunder_Noya4: Suga looked pissed. What did u do? _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: you guys mad w/ each other? _

_AsahiBear: Jesus Christ I forgot you had that name Tanaka(″･ิ_･ิ)っ_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: Are u sayng u dont like it? ॓_॔_

_Thunder_Noya4: I think is the coolest (n˘v˘•)¬_

_Dad-ichi69: Guys please_

_AsahiBear: oh God yours is worse Im sorry_

_Thunder_Noya4: what do you mean worse???? (ಠ_ರ)_

_Dad-ichi69: GUYS_

_Thunder_Noya4: ok sorry go on_

_AsahiBear: whats wrong? _

Daichi stared at the screen and took a deep breath. He felt a bit chilly under his covers but his chest was still painfully tight. Was he really about to do this? 

_Dad-ichi69: Im in love with Suga_

There it was. He had said it, even if it was in a group chat. He had officially accepted that he had fallen head over heels for the other guy. That that itch he felt when he wasn’t around wasn’t something friends felt. He recognized that he had deeper feelings for Suga and that they had surfaced for some reason and were now playing with his head and making him act all weirdly. He waited impatiently for them to reply. 

_AsahiBear: yeah but_

_AsahiBear: whats the emergency_

_Thunder_Noya4: yeah and the sky is blue_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: Are we just stating obvious things? I don’t understand_

Daichi couldn’t believe it. How could they be so casual about it?? They were not even taking it seriously! 

_Dad-ichi69: Guys im serious!!! I dont know what to do!!! _

_Thunder_Noya4: wait wait wait but I thouhgt everyone knew?? _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: I honestly believed u were dating like, on the downlow_

_Dad-ichi69: what??? No!!! right Asahi??? _

_AsahiBear: theyre not dating, but…_

_Thunder_Noya4: theyre clearly in love why arent they dating? ¿(❦﹏❦)? _

_AsahiBear: ask Daichi १|˚–˚|५_

_Dad-ichi69: youre not helping!!! _

_AsahiBear: I dunno what to tell u man, its pretty obvious_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: pretty much_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: im sure at least half the school thinks ur couple goals_

_Thunder_Noya4: true_

_Dad-ichi69: you cant be serious. God why_

_AsahiBear: ok if you feel its an emergency well treat it as an emergency_

_Thunder_Noya4: spit it out big boy_

_Dad-ichi69: I dont know. Today I just felt something shift and now I cant stop thinking about it, ive been avoiding him cause im scared and now he thinks I dont trust him which obviously isnt true, I trust him with my life. _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: aw man that sucks_

_Thunder_Noya4: what happened earlier at the bus stop? Did you fix things? _

_Dad-ichi69: i think i managed to make it worse. We fought kinda? and we left things badly_

_AsahiBear: you gotta talk to him dude_

_Dad-ichi69: i know i just dont know. i cant tell him how i feel so how am i supposed to make it right if its him that makes me act all weird_

_Thunder_Noya4: well i dunno have you considered the wild idea that maybe just maybe he likes you too? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

_Dad-ichi69: no way_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: holy shit youre blinder than tsukkishima_

_AsahiBear: Daichi come on╚(•⌂•)╝_

_Dad-ichi69: what??? _

_AsahiBear: Suga is crazy for you_

_Thunder_Noya4: its pretty obvious that hes super into you(*^ -^*)_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: I dont even think he tries to hide it_

_Dad-ichi69: what you talking about?? Stop fucking with me!!! _

_Thunder_Noya4: ur the one that wants to fuck with Suga! (⊙‿⊙✿) _

_AsahiBear: NOYA_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: we arent joking Suga is clearly in love with you_

_AsahiBear: and he has been for a while_

_Dad-ichi69: what do you mean “for a while”??? _

_Thunder_Noya4: this is painfully tragic_

_AsahiBear: ever since first year he looks at you like youre the most perfect thing in the world. Hes always around you, always touching you in some way_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: he even flirts with you sometimes_

_Thunder_Noya4: you cant tell me you dont see it Daichi. You guys are like attached at the hip_

Daichi didn’t know what to respond. Suga? In love with him? That couldn’t be true. If even Daichi felt guilty about feeling this way because he thought it threatened the bond they had forced with the years. What if he ruined it? He wasn’t prepared to risk that. 

_Dad-ichi69: were just close friends_

_Thunder_Noya4: yeah but like insanely close friends_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: very close very intimate friends_

_AsahiBear: stop lyin to yourself Daichi, even if now hes just your friend you love him. And you dont seem to hide it very well_

_Dad-ichi69: are you telling me that everyone knows i love Suga_

_AsahiBear: except for him_

_Thunder_Noya4: yeah im pretty sure Suga doesnt know. its like you guys are oblivious to what everyone sees_

That was at least a bit relieving

_Dad-ichi69: well what should i do??? _

_Thunder_Noya4: oh i dunno maybe ask him out??? ヽ(^◇^*)/ _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: u could always be honest w/ him_

_Dad-ichi69: guys no i cant do that! _

_AsahiBear: Daichi, i know youre scared. Youve been friends with Suga since you started highschool and what you guys have is like really special and all. But he is in love with you too and ive been WAITING!!! for you two dorks to realize youre meant for each other_

_Thunder_Noya4: yeah y’all got my poor asahi thirdwheeling. Quit it and go on a date already〴⋋_⋌〵_

_AsahiBear: im not telling you to marry him. Just stop pretending youre just friends and maybe things will get better_

_Dad-ichi69: maybe, but he doesnt want to talk to me right now, what do i do?? _

_Thunder_Noya4: oh do something really cheesy. Bring him chocolates or sumthng_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: Suga is a slut for those tiny details, it could work _

_Dad-ichi69: hey dont call him that_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: oh sorry man_

_AsahiBear: u gotta show him you trust him. And if you dont want to confess right now you could always tell him that things have been hectic with school and the team and thats why youre on edge_

_Dad-ichi69: i dont wanna lie to him_

_AsahiBear: but you dont wanna tell him the truth either? _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: we can always set you up( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

_Thunder_Noya4: oh man we can plan you the best date you 2 have ever been on. Well it would be the only one since both of you love each other but neither makes the move_

_AsahiBear: whatever you do, please reconciliate. Its driving everyone mad_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: thats tru_

_Dad-ichi69: alright alright, ill talk to him_

_Thunder_Noya4: thats my man (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: go get him tiger_

_AsahiBear: good luck dude_

Daichi didn’t know how to feel. He was still confused out of his mind and the truth was that he missed Suga. In love with him or not, they were still a fundamental part of each other’s lives and not being in good terms made them both really upset. Daichi wanted to cry out of frustration because he _wanted_ Suga, he felt physical longing for the guy that had been by his side all these years. Even if it was platonic he wanted to hug him, to breathe him in and maybe cuddle in the couch like they had done so many times. 

Why couldn’t things just be like they were? 

His heart jumped when his phone buzzed with a message, this time from a private chat. Daichi breathed in shakily when he saw who it was. 

_Amazing_Koushi: hey_

That username made him chuckle. He was convinced it was because of that British vlogger Suga watched to better his English and was obsessed with, but Suga would never admit it. 

_Dad-ichi69: hey_

He wanted to add something to that. He wanted to say “hey dear” or “hey you”, he had called him that before and it wasn’t weird. But now he was walking on eggshells to not ruin things further. 

_Amazing_Koushi: cant sleep, what about you? _

_Dad-ichi69: cant really either_

_Amazing_Koushi: im sorry for what I said earlier. I couldn’t go to bed with you being mad at me_

_Dad-ichi69: im not mad at you Sug, im sorry too_

_Amazing_Koushi: it just hurts you know? seeing you all worried_

_Dad-ichi69: things have been really confusing and overwhelming and I honestly dont know how to describe them myself. I dont really understand whats happening to me, I swear Im telling the truth_

_Amazing_Koushi: I believe you_

_Amazing_Koushi: I just feel awful not being able to help you out _

_Dad-ichi69: Koushi, always so selfless_

_Amazing_Koushi: haha but thats what we do silly, we help each other_

_Amazing_Koushi: I really care about you_

_Dad-ichi69: I really care about you too. I will try to be better to you. you dont deserve to be treated badly even if Im going through something. Thats no excuse_

_Amazing_Koushi: I swear I wont snap at you anymore. I’ll be better too. Promise_

There, in the darkness of his room with the screen of his phone as the only source of light, Daichi smiled. A big, genuine smile. He had forgotten that no matter what happened between them, they would always bounce back to each other. They had been through worse; Daichi was foolish to think something petty like this could break them up. 

_Dad-ichi69: im glad we re good again. Not having us be good was killing me_

_Amazing_Koushi: lol me too. Lets not fight anymore, im pretty tired (∩︵∩)_

_Dad-ichi69: you make me the happiest guy Sugawara_

Daichi’s heart stopped for a second. He had sent it just like that without thinking and now reading it on the screen he realized that was something too couple-y to say. His nerves got a hold of him again and for a moment he feared he had exposed himself in the most absurd way. 

_Amazing_Koushi: you make me really happy too Sawamura_

His heart beat faster at the message, his stomach did a flip and he felt a pleasurable buzz. Butterflies, they called them. Daichi stared at the ceiling and thought hard on what to do, what to respond now. His friend’s words wouldn’t stop circling his head, _Suga’s crazy about you._ But how could that be, when Daichi was the definition of ordinary? Sometimes he was overwhelmed by the fact that someone so amazing and talented like Suga had chosen him to share the deepest parts of him. Daichi wasn’t really special, he wasn’t particularly attractive, he wasn’t funny, he wasn’t really smart. All he knew how to do well was play volleyball and even in the court he wasn’t a special card in the deck. Suga on the other hand had stunning features; he laughed easily and was compassionate, kind. He had a certain passion for everything he did and Daichi swore his smile could make the world stop spinning. So why? Why would he look at someone like Daichi in that way? 

He grunted and just decided to throw everything out the window. He would probably read the text in the morning and cringe at his stupidity but right now he couldn’t think straight (pun intended) and he wanted to ease the weird pressure in his chest. 

_Dad-ichi69: hey um, you free on saturday? (◕△◕✿) _

He waited. He waited some more. He played with his hands and cursed himself for not thinking things through. Finally he saw him typing and he braced himself for the worst. 

_Amazing_Koushi: yeah, and my parents are out of town again ಠ~ಠ_

_Amazing_Koushi: why, what do you want to do? _

He shouldn’t have been so happy about it. He giggled idiotically and responded 

_Dad-ichi69: it’s a surprise ★~(◡﹏◕✿) _

_Amazing_Koushi: oh come oooon if you dont tell me Im gonna think about it all week (︶︹︺) Tell me!!!! ಠ益ಠ_

_Dad-ichi69: nope ^( '-' )^_

_Amazing_Koushi: jerk (ಥ ̯ ಥ)_

_Dad-ichi69: oh shut up you love me_

He was so scared of the reply that he literally tossed his phone to the end of the bed and decided it would be best not to read it or he would be awake the rest of the night. Daichi took care of plugging the phone in the charger and just refused to give into the temptation of just looking. Maybe it was something good? Or something really terrible. Much to his surprise he fell asleep quickly, having dreams that would make him blush violently in the morning. While he slept in his fantasy, one text awaited for him. 

_Amazing_Koushi: Yeah. I really do_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm not dead!  
I'm sorry this took so long to post, I did kind of miss my deadline by a lot  
Things have been hectic, with me moving out of my old house, but I finally forced myself to revise this chapter and get it up :)  
Even if this is going up so late, next chapter will be up on sunday, that's a promise :D  
Thank you all so much for your support, it really keeps me going when things get hard  
hope you enjoy, ahd have a nice day! <3


	9. You like him

Ever since he became a part of the Karasuno Volleyball Team, Kageyama’s life has changed for the better. For once, he actually has a small bit of motivation to wake up every morning and endure the endless classes, because he knows that somehow he’ll make it to the court again. He actually has people that he considers “friends”, something he didn’t have in middle school. Maybe it had started as the first years not really knowing anyone else in the entire school so they were forced to group together, but after a while it had become a habit. Yamaguchi was nice and chirpy when he was comfortable around them, and even though Tsukkishima was quiet and salty, his presence was a piece of the puzzle that made their little friendship group. 

For once Kageyama feels the need to connect with his teammates, to be flexible with their demands and needs when it came to setting. Slowly but surely he learned that if he worked for the team, then the team will be carried by its own weight towards their goals. Also the feeling of belonging filled a hole in his chest that he had been carrying around for a long time, he actually felt quite proud wearing the team jacket and seeing the number 9 plastered on his shirt. 

But what had absolutely put his life upside down was an excitable orange floof that responded to the name of Hinata Shouyou. Ever since their little moment during extra practice the two have been going everywhere together. What’s best about it is that Hinata, as the literal ray of sunshine and energy he is, speaks loudly and enthusiastically while Kageyama is serious and silent, and yet they seemed to fit together as the two parts of a whole. For Kageyama, Hinata is the ultimate teammate, the ultimate weapon that he has been dreaming of. At first he refused to accept it, mainly because a part of him still hated Hinata for reasons that he couldn’t quite explain, but after a while he realized that Hinata made him powerful, Hinata allowed him to play the way he wanted to. Ironic how this tactic was achieved with Hinata having little to no experience. Kageyama was still dealing with recognizing that Hinata had just pure talent and drive. 

For Hinata, having Kageyama meant that he wasn’t alone in the court, that despite everything being against him playing volley he could soar and defeat enemies much taller and stronger than him. Kageyama gave him wings, gave him an opportunity to do what he loved most. 

Needless to say, they became inseparable in a span of months. 

Tsukkishima took a poke at them for a while, but then realized that the two shared a connection that was beyond words and stopped making comments about it. Of course, that didn’t mean the usual bickering between them was gone, it had actually become a lot more frequent. With the constant calling of “dumbass” and “baka”, everyone in the team had gotten used to their exchanges. Despite that, both of them knew this time was different. When they first met they really meant their hateful words, wanting to destroy the other so that they didn’t have to see each other again, but now it was more of a playful banter and just Kageyama’s cold personality and weird tasteless way of saying things. 

“Hinata, how many times do I have to tell you to BEND YOUR KNEES WHEN RECEIVING?” Kageyama was saying, his tone would have demotivated anyone but not Hinata, instead the shorter guy always bit right back. 

“How about you mind your own DAMN BUSINESS.” His answers weren’t that elaborated, but they made Kageyama feel weirdly… good. Like pushing and getting pushed back was somehow pleasant for him. Daichi had given up on scolding them and just let them be. 

And then when practice was over and everyone was leaving, Hinata would start giving him side glances that were completely obvious and make Kageyama roll his eyes. They turned defiant very quickly, and as they’re cleaning they can be battling with their gazes and challenging each other silently. Kageyama has noticed Suga actually chuckling fondly at their antics. And it does feel good to have that little game with Hinata, basically because it was something that only they shared and it made Kageyama feel kinda special. He won’t ever ever say it to Hinata though, never. 

“You tired, Bakayama?” he snarls, stretching in that obscenely flexible way. The court is now empty except for them. 

“Please.” He huffs in response. “Tired of your bullshit, maybe.” 

At that he murmured something like “so mean” under his breath and just stood there with a pout. Kageyama found it incredibly amusing, it even made him fight off a smile. 

“We practicing or not??” Hinata exclaimed, jumping on his heels slightly. Kageyama sighed, he was always so eager. They didn’t quite speak, they just kept going at it relentlessly until their legs shook and they could barely stand. Apart from the high of being in the court, the feeling of the ball in his hands and the sound of it hitting the floor, Kageyama was entranced by Hinata’s whole figure. It was just mesmerizing for him to see him jump so _high_ and so effortlessly, it almost seemed like he had wings. The best of all was that even though Hinata jumped with his eyes closed, his face was relaxed; he even had a little smirk on his lips when he went up. He looked so delighted and at peace that Kageyama was sure he was meant to be up there. It also made him feel a little fuzzy, because it only meant that Hinata trusted him completely. Kageyama wanted people to trust him, to know that we was indeed going to be there, ready to put a ball on the air and that he would never let them down. 

When Hinata was left panting and leaning over with his hands on his knees, they both knew their extra-extracurricular practice was over. It was the same every time, Kageyama would start picking up the balls and Hinata would start protesting. “I can do one more, one more one more only one more please” he would start babbling between ragged breaths but Kageyama wouldn’t give in to his pleads. 

“I’m not gonna let you tear your ligaments apart, Hinata.” He would say, and his tone would tell him it was final. It was true that Kageyama was a sport junkie and the burn of his muscles after a hardcore training session was intoxicating, but he also knew that pushing their bodies until they broke down wasn’t a good thing. Hinata was Kageyama’s spiker, so in a way the taller boy was always on the lookout for him. He didn’t want Hinata to hurt his knees or ankles, he _needed_ him to stay in the air and he knew how to do it. 

Saying goodbye was always the worst part, mainly because they were both too stubborn to say something nice like “good job today” and too awkward to just say “goodbye see you tomorrow” like normal people. Instead they stood there in uncomfortable silence until one of them would do something and it was mainly calling them names and bothering them for something stupid, and like that the tension was broken and they would go on their way with the promise of destroying each other, but not really. 

Then, every night after practice, Kageyama would lay awake wondering _why_ Hinata was so goddamn important to him. Sure, he came up with half-assed answers like oh, he enables me to play, oh, and he does everything I say. But deep down he knew the truth, a small voice in the back of his head was whispering it constantly. 

You like him. 

And that’s what just didn’t make any sense. Kageyama had had crushes before; it was nothing new to him. He had been staring at men since he was a little kid, specifically volleyball players that charmed him with their incredible abilities. He was sure he had been in love with every single one of Japan’s official volleyball players during his childhood. He never really fought it, it was wonder fueled by admiration and he saw nothing wrong with that. He didn’t want to remember, but he had a heartfelt longing for Oikawa at some point in middle school. Tobio considered him the pinnacle of volleyball performance, not only did he want to be like him but he wanted to well, be with him. It was actually a little embarrassing how he would fantasize about them getting together, Oikawa the popular jock noticing little awkward Kageyama and playing volleyball with him while they fell in love in like a weird sappy rom com way. That was obviously in the past and now they hated each other guts, and it would be something Kageyama was taking to the grave. As mortifying as it was, Oikawa was (is) suave and determined, he was cool and he knew it, and mostly he had a high air to him. 

So Kageyama wondered why, why Hinata, why… why that idiot! 

He was clumsy, unexperienced, and at times he was annoying and loud and obnoxious and a dumbass and yet, Kageyama felt his heart jump every time he saw him with that smile that was so bright the sun was jealous of it. His heart skipped a beat when Hinata was high on adrenaline, sweat running down his face. His breathing hitched when Hinata would joke around and laugh lightly, when the sunlight made his hair shine like a flame. Kageyama had felt his world fade back when Hinata had stared at him angrily with his huge, beautifully cobalt eyes, bearing such determination and drive it took Kageyama’s breath away. 

Hinata said a lot of things to him, but there were moments that made him all fired up and he would say something that would stick with Kageyama for a long while. For instance one time he was having an argument with the team spikers because he tossed too fast. He was arguing that that was how he had been setting for years now and Tsukkishima had just butted in and said “well no wonder they called you King of the Court.” Hinata went ballistic every time someone used that nickname, and he just bit back aggressively calling him out on his bullshit, something so uncharacteristic of him, and saying “I can hit his tosses, it doesn’t make a difference to me”. 

Sure Kageyama had been wrong to pick up that fight instead of understanding his teammates’ needs, but then Hinata had made it clear that he had his back and it meant a lot to him. It also sent the message of “no one can mess with Kageyama, only me.” He was always there with him, always by his side and Kageyama had this indescribable urge to protect him and support him that he kept trying to fight back, but little gestures slipped here and there. Being slightly too alarmed when Hinata lost his footing and fell over after spiking, making sure he was eating healthily to replenish that inhuman stamina of his, offering him to help him stretch after practice, telling him to ride home safely. 

That night Kageyama screamed into his pillow, frustrated because of his feelings but at the same time, embarrassingly excited to go to school the next day given the plans he had. When morning came he bolted out of bed and got ready in record time, shoving breakfast in his mouth much to his parent’s distaste and running to the bus station. He knew he would see Hinata first thing before class, and he doubted he could hide his excitement. He got to his building and found Hinata sitting on his usual spot, adorably sleeping against the window frame. 

“HINATA.” He screamed, making a few people turn their heads and give him weird glances but it was worth it given that Hinata stood up immediately as if someone had slapped him, 

“YES, WHAT.” He screamed back, his eyes looking startled for a moment but when he realized it had been Kageyama he frowned angrily and groaned. “Oh my God you jerk!” 

Kageyama bit his lip to hide his smile and sat down in the desk in front of Hinata. Needless to say, Hinata wasn’t really a morning person. His brain wouldn’t start functioning until way past 10 in the morning, before that his hair would be a mess and there would be dark shadows under his eyes. He was in a state of total confusion and he was slightly grumpy. It always amazed Kageyama how he could go from this to his usual bright self after he fully woke up and got some food in him. 

“You look weirdly pleased, are you planning something?” Hinata asked through his slumber. Kageyama only shrugged and stayed silent. “Hey jerk, at least talk to me now that you woke me up, I’m bored.” 

Such an attention whore. Kageyama then sat backwards on his seat, resting his arms on the back of it and just gave Hinata a smug smirk. The shorter boy yawned and stretched his arms over his head, and Kageyama tried to ignore the pull on his stomach. He had to admit he found Hinata… a bit cute, but that was it. 

“Did you see the game last night?” he asked, knowing full well Kageyama had been glued to the screen watching one of Japan’s friendly matches against South Korea. They talked about it for as long as they could, Hinata listening to Kageyama rambling about Japan’s playing style, the strategy they used, how they responded to the other team’s advances. Hinata didn’t know all the technical terms of it (for him volleyball was just tossing the ball around and trying to make it fall on the other team’s side) but he still gave him his full attention, or what was left of it in his morning haze. Eventually Kageyama had to sit right on his chair and class began. 

The day went by pretty uneventfully, and Kageyama knew Hinata noticed he wasn’t saying anything and had something in mind. All day the setter considered telling him, even taking him with him. It wasn’t smart to do this kind of thing alone and honestly, Kageyama was a bit scared he was going to get caught and there would be trouble. It wasn’t like Hinata made him feel any safer; it actually raised the amount of danger the mission already had, but he thought that maybe they could pull it off together. Kageyama wasn’t a trouble-maker, he knew by heart that if he did something wrong they could very easily suspend his extracurricular activities for a long period of time and that would honestly kill him, so doing this was risky and probably stupid. But he was going to do it anyway and given Kageyama’s fondness of the shorter boy, he was also coming along. 

“Geez Kageyama, will you tell me already what we are doing?” Hinata pestered him as they walked down the streets with their bags slung over their shoulders. “Honestly, if you lied to Daichi-san so we could skip practice it has to be something important.” 

“Pretty stupid of you to go headfirst into a plan you know nothing of.” Kageyama replied, and Hinata looked offended. 

“As long as you don’t get us killed. And I trust you won’t, because we can’t play volleyball if we’re dead.” He said matter-of-factly. Kageyama only scoffed. Of course Hinata had agreed to come along, even at the expense of skipping practice: it was Kageyama who had told him to do it in a very urgent way so he had just nodded his head and skipped on his feet. “What’s our story again?” 

“That we have an upcoming exam that we absolutely need to pass in order to keep going to practice, so we’re going to study together.” 

“I mean you didn’t lie.” Hinata considered. “We do have that English exam and I think-”

“Shush, Hinata. That’s not important right now.” Kageyama said, zipping his jacket all the way up in order to hide his uniform. He also took a cap out of his bag and placed in on his head, low on his eyes. 

“Are we going to steal something?” Hinata asked, looking at him weirdly. Still, he did exactly the same with his own jacket. 

“Put this on.” Kageyama said, giving him another cap. “We don’t want anyone recognizing you because of your bright ass hair.” 

Hinata huffed but placed the cap over his head, shoving his orange locks under it. There were still a few that stood out but that was all they could do. They rounded the corner and Kageyama was looking all over the place, seeing if they could just walk right in or if they needed to find a way to sneak in. 

“Wait, is this-” Hinata started saying, staring at the big arch on top of their heads with big kanji painted over. 

“Yep.” Kageyama smirked, seeing his awe. “Shiratorizawa.” 

“Isn’t this the school that like, beats everyone on the tournament?” Hinata asked in a whisper, catching up with the fact that they shouldn’t be there. 

“They’ve been to nationals three times in a row.” Kageyama said “They’re the strongest team in our prefecture. So we gotta get an advantage somehow.” 

“Oh we’re gonna spy on them??” he chirped, actually excited. Kageyama was a bit more concentrated on how they were going to get in without getting kicked out. Sure, the gate was open, but he had no idea where the gym was or how to get there and he couldn’t just ask someone. He didn’t even know how to get into the gym if he managed to find it. Kageyama was not good at making plans. 

“I guess we gotta walk in and see if we can find their gym.” He stated, hoping Hinata wouldn’t question him 

“We’ll be like secret spies!” Hinata was saying. This guy honestly, his antics made Kageyama sigh but feel a bubbly sensation in his stomach at the same time. 

“Just make sure you don’t get anyone’s attention and we’ll be fine.” Kageyama said, pushing the gate slightly and slithering in. Hinata followed him and couldn’t help gasping at just how enormous Shiratorizawa looked, with huge fancy buildings and massive trees. He started to think that maybe bringing Hinata along wasn’t such a good idea given the guy couldn’t stay in one place. 

They were mindlessly walking without any direction when Hinata bumped into a tall guy while Kageyama was trying to find some signs. He saw Hinata cover his face with his hands and whisper an apology, and the guy looked down at him with something in his face that made Kageyama’s skin crawl and instinctively run towards Hinata, placing himself in between them. Hinata didn’t protest at all, he simply placed a hand on his arm and peeked around him. 

The guy was taller than Kageyama, he believed him to be almost 1.90, clearly a bit older and his shoulders and torso were heavily built. He had his hair cut short and a weird shade of brown, his eyes were sharp and cold and his features strong. There was something about him that the boys couldn’t name but it was definitely unsettling. He was wearing shorts and sneakers, and a reddish jacket that read…

“Japan?” he heard Hinata whisper from behind him. Kageyama swallowed nervously. Was this guy a national team player? From the Japanese youth volleyball league or something? He couldn’t be older than 18! 

“What are you doing here?” the stranger asked. “You’re not from this school…”

For a moment, Kageyama didn’t know what the hell to say. They hadn’t even gotten to their gym yet and they had already been caught by the scariest guy ever. He felt Hinata’s grip on his arm tighten and he opened his mouth to answer whatever crap his brain came up with, but the guy seemed to glance at their shoes. 

“You’re volleyball players.” He stated. He didn’t seem exactly mad, but he wasn’t pleased. “You came to see my team play?” 

Hinata nodded shyly and the guy simply looked around and started walking away. 

“Come on then. You won’t get any better by just watching, so I guess it won’t do any harm.” 

Hinata gasped happily and literally took Kageyama by the wrist to drag him to where the guy was leading them to. The touch made Kageyama blush slightly and he hid his face with the cap further, even though he knew Hinata wasn’t really thinking about what he was doing. He was a bit shocked, he had had an adrenaline rush and now his head was fuzzy and Hinata was holding him. Things were happening way too fast for his liking, but now the only thing he knew was that he was in Shiratorizawa about to see the team play and Hinata was with him, so maybe things wouldn’t necessarily go that bad. 

Right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! new chapter today as promised. Here's some of our first years getting into trouble   
I'll try my best not to break the chain of posting on sundays, so you can look forward to that! :D  
thank you all so so so much for all the support, and let me know what you think, comments always make my day!  
Love you all! <3


	10. You better not mess with him again

Hinata had picked up on the fact that he liked Kageyama pretty early on. Shouyou knew he would always have trouble controlling what he felt, his heart seemed to have a life of its own and with time Hinata learned that when it laid eyes on someone, there was no going back. Hinata Shouyou loved with every inch of his soul, of his being, and he couldn’t help who he madly fell in love with. So when Kageyama rolled around, Hinata had to watch himself grow fond of the setter until his mere presence was enough to brighten his day. Their rocky beginning confused him a whole lot; he may have hated him like he hadn’t hated anyone before, but then the slight pricks of attraction started to come around, and Hinata knew he was going to become fundamental in his life. 

He was also very much aware that such devotion wasn’t heathy, and could potentially be really dangerous, but Hinata had come to accept it. With time, those hateful eyes became the most beautiful thing in the entire world. Suddenly Hinata found himself lost in those blue orbs, so magnificent that the sky and the sea would be jealous of them. He yearned to run his fingers through his silky raven hair; he loved the way it fell on his forehead and shaded his eyes. He stared at his figure as if there was nothing more perfect in the world, his defined muscles and strong build was going to be the death of him, especially after practice when he was drenched in sweat with his clothes sticking to him. 

It was maddening really; sometimes we would lay awake at night wondering if Kageyama truly hated him, if he meant the words he spat at him every day. And sure, Hinata would always bite back and he considered it was all playful banter between guys, but something inside his chest hurt whenever Kageyama would say something particularly bad. He even told himself that maybe being so in love with the setter was a bad idea, that he could get hurt so easily, but then again what he had felt before was nothing compared to what he felt for Kageyama Tobio. 

Hinata wore his heart on his sleeve and if it was meant to be broken, he rather it be Kageyama than anyone else. 

So of course he had agreed to go into a stupid espionage mission to a fancy school with him. He was honestly terrified, ever since Kageyama and he got thrown out of the gym that one time they were careful to not get into trouble so they would be allowed to play, and this was definitely not helping their case. Hinata had thought it was over when he ran into that massive guy and he had looked at him as if he was an insect that was bothering him. It was a huge relief when Kageyama came running and stood between them, almost protecting him. Sure the guy was a bit creepy but he was leading them to the gym so that was a victory right? 

Because Kageyama wasn’t really moving Hinata took it upon himself to drag him through the campus. He was awfully quiet; Hinata could tell when Kageyama was keeping to himself and when it was his normal quiet self. He guessed he felt uncomfortable so he let go of his wrist, covering his face with the cap to hide his blush. After a while they stopped in front of a building and Hinata’s face lit up with excitement. 

“Kageyama that gym is so big!!” he exclaimed what it was meant to be a whisper. Kageyama shushed him when the guy turned around sharply and made them both jump. Hinata didn’t know what the hell it was, but the mere glance of that guy made him want to scratch at his own skin. Something was wrong with him but he couldn’t point out what. 

“Wait.” He said, his voice like sandpaper. “You’re Kageyama?” 

Hinata felt him visibly flinch and swallow nervously, taking a slow step back. He knew Kageyama? How? Had they somehow met in a tournament? In some other place? Kageyama clearly didn’t like being recognized by the guy, and his tense silence just told Hinata he was panicking. The shorter boy wanted to comfort him somehow, but he was a bit busy glaring daggers at the stranger. They ended up switching places, Hinata in front of Kageyama as if his tiny frame could protect the larger boy. 

“Who- Who are you?” Kageyama finally managed to say. “How do-do y-you know me?” 

“My name’s Wakatoshi.” The guy said, not fazed by Kageyama’s stutter. “And you’re Oikawa’s friend. Specifically, his unofficial pupil.” 

That seemed to greatly bother Kageyama, who scoffed almost hysterically. That was a name Hinata recognized, everybody knew Oikawa, but he had no idea Tobio had been friends with him at some point. If he had learned anything in his time with Kageyama, was that he hated the Grand King with all his might, maybe even more than he did Hinata. The spiker just couldn’t picture younger Kageyama admiring Oikawa from afar and wanting to learn from him, let alone asking him to mentor him. Was that the reason Kageyama was amazing as a setter? Because he had learned from someone older and more experienced than him? 

“He is not my friend.” Kageyama spat in a low, dangerous voice. “Not anymore.” 

Hinata took a mental note of never, ever mentioning Oikawa in front of Kageyama. It was like lighting a fuse to a ton of explosives and he really didn’t want to feel the utter hatred and frustration radiating of his setter again. 

“Well, you both got one thing in common still.” Wakatoshi said, crossing his arms nonchalantly. “You’re both wasting your talent.” 

“Excuse me?” this time it was Hinata who chimed in, arms crossed as well and squaring his shoulders. Kageyama seemed to recoil at the statement, and Hinata’s chest fired up. How dare he? “Kageyama is one of the best setters a court has seen, I’m sure of it!” 

“Hinata…” Kageyama muttered as a warning. He gave him a confused side glance. Didn’t he want him to defend him? He wasn’t just going to stand there and let anyone insult him! Especially when the things said were obviously lies. 

“Oh yeah, I’m not gonna deny he is good.” Wakatoshi laughed, and Hinata was disgusted. “Remarkably so. But it’s you what’s holding him back.” 

“M-me?” Hinata stuttered. Now he was confused, and honestly a bit scared. Oh so he had the guts to stand for Kageyama in times of need, but he couldn’t do so for himself? What kind of bullshit logic was that? He felt his insides twist and he bit his lip angrily. 

“You and your entire team.” He continued. “Your teammates are weak. That old Karasuno glory is really long gone. And you, did you really think you could play volleyball? Being that short? Please. Poor Kageyama has to carry all of you and do all the work.” 

“Stop it.” Kageyama said, his lip curled in a fierce snarl. He had been looking away but now he was staring directly at Wakatoshi, the blue in his eyes forming a storm. Hinata would’ve been intimidated if he had been the target of that look. 

“And you’re gonna deny it? Deny that he slows you down with his lack of talent? Are you going to deny this guy is a burden?” 

And just like that, Hinata’s deepest insecurities took a physical form and stood tall in front of him. Ironically, like a tall wall Wakatoshi loomed before him, spitting out the words Hinata had repeated to himself in the dark. Talentless. Burden. What hurt further was that no, it couldn’t be denied that Hinata was nothing compared to Kageyama’s innate ability. He knew he had no experience, no technique, and he was forcing Kageyama to stand down from the pedestal he had built for himself to teach him something so basic like serving or receiving. 

Much to Hinata’s surprise, it was Kageyama the first to speak. 

“You call him that again and I swear I-”

“What? What are you gonna do?” he mocked. “You’re not a team player Kageyama, ironic you’re playing a team-based sport and doing it so well. You and Karasuno would simply never work. You’re greedy, all you want is to win and you would do it on your own if you could.” 

“That’s not true; I’m not like that anymore!” Kageyama exclaimed, and it broke Hinata’s heart to hear how he sounded desperate. Like he was trying to prove what he was saying. 

“Please. Guys like you don’t change. You don’t have teammates; you have chess pieces that you move as you please. Let me tell you, you won’t make it with all that pride, King.” 

“HEY!” Hinata shouted, taking a step forward and almost bumping into Wakatoshi. There were certain things Hinata let slide, but what he certainly could not tolerate was Kageyama being called by his old nickname with such hatred like Wakatoshi did. It was something that lit up the fire in his veins and all common sense flew out the window as he squared up to a guy much older, taller and stronger than him. “How dare you call him that?! He’s an exceptional player that could beat anyone in a heartbeat; he’s the best damn setter I’ve played with and he deserves all the respect in the volleyball world! So you better watch your mouth when you speak of him!!” 

Hinata bared his teeth and almost snarled at the guy, his tiny fists were curled at his sides and he looked ready to tear him apart. Kageyama didn’t say anything, but Hinata could tell the guy was a little taken aback by the sheer force he was showing. Still, he just scoffed. 

“As if I cared about a midget like you.” he spat. “A good coach would tell you to quit.” 

In that moment a guy with crazy red hair and big eyes appeared at the door of the gym, with a ball in his taped fingers. He looked calm and calculating, but frowned at the scene in front of him. 

“What the hell are you doing Waka?” he called. “Get in, practice already begun and coach is not gonna be happy if you keep scaring 16-year-olds.” 

Then he threw the ball at him in a high arch and suddenly every one of Hinata’s muscles tensed up and started moving without his control. He jumped and felt himself soar; he stretched his arms as much as he could and felt a great satisfaction when the ball touched his fingertips. He even had time to smirk as he pressed the ball to his chest and landed with a crouch, ignoring the pain that went up his ankles. He stood up swiftly and turned around to face his opponent, who had an expression of awe on his face. Better than having shocked the guy that had brought him down with his words, even more rewarding was seeing Kageyama smiling at him. 

Hinata’s heart did a flip and turned upside down at the image. Kageyama almost never smiled, and certainly not like this and definitely not at _him_. But now the tension in his shoulders had disappeared, he was smiling fondly at Hinata like he was proud. Like he believed in him. 

Hinata returned the smile and then threw the ball at Wakatoshi with such force that if made a booming sound when it hit his chest. He barely caught it and grunted slightly at the impact. 

“My name’s Hinata Shouyou.” He said, his chin raised high. “Remember me because I am going to defeat you. And don’t ever mess with Kageyama ever again, understood?” 

He walked slowly towards Kageyama and intended not to turn back. What he did notice was Kageyama wrapping a protective arm around his shoulders and glaring at Wakatoshi, a look that said everything he felt without words: this is my spiker, and you better not mess with him again. The two started walking away, and much to Hinata’s surprise, Kageyama’s arm stayed firmly placed on his shoulders. It meant a lot, knowing they had each other’s back. Hinata then wrapped his arm around the setter’s waist, and the contact didn’t feel weird at all and Kageyama didn’t protest. 

.

For Kageyama, that encounter had been a wild rollercoaster of emotions. They didn’t mention it as they walked away rather triumphantly after having faced Wakatoshi. Apart from the awful things the guy had said both to him and Hinata, Kageyama had felt like the guy was the physical embodiment of his fears, that it was reality hitting him in the face and his past that would haunt him for the rest of his player days. And then comes this small orange-haired child and speaks of him with such confidence and pride that Kageyama almost believed what he said. God, did Hinata really feel that way about him? Did he really think he was an “exceptional player”, despite his cocky attitude and lack of patience? The questions still popped in his mind but the memory of Hinata’s voice saying those things made him feel sure. 

“Are we still spying on them?” Hinata asked, still touching. Kageyama squeezed him against him awkwardly before letting go. 

“Obviously.” He answered. Now he felt more determined than ever, and Hinata’s presence made him feel safer. “We just gotta figure something out. And we gotta be careful; they could kick us out now that we’re on our own.” 

“There are higher windows on the gym. Maybe…” Hinata commented but Kageyama didn’t really pay much attention. His mind was busy looking around and running scenarios. They couldn’t really sneak in, so was there another way? A backdoor? Maybe they could look for tapes; fancy teams often recorded their own matches. Well, stealing was kind of illegal and wrong and Kageyama wasn’t willing to go that far, right? 

“Hinata, do you have any id-” Kageyama was saying, turning around to face him and ask him for suggestions. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???” 

Hinata had managed to perch himself on the high branch of a tree, and was a bit startled by Kageyama screaming at him. He was holding onto the wood with shaky hands but his feet were planted firm. He didn’t seem scared, but Kageyama was out of his mind. What was he thinking??? 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Hinata answered, as if Kageyama had asked a stupid question. “I’m climbing this tree so we can see into their practice and find a way to beat them.” 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???” Kageyama exclaimed, pulling at his own hair and feeling a weird pressure on his chest. He was scared; hell he was panicking at seeing Hinata so high up and looking around to go even further. He wanted desperately for him to get down from there; he could fall and get seriously hurt, seriously was this guy this stupid? Instead of listening to reason, he glanced down at him and a playful grin appeared on his lips. 

“Scared of heights, Tobio?” he mocked, and Kageyama was fuming. He felt his cheeks burn angrily and he struggled to breathe properly, both because he was worried out of his mind and because Hinata only called him Tobio when he was making fun of him and THIS WAS NOT A MATTER OF LAUGHTER. 

“SHUT UP.” And that was the only thing it occurred him to say in that moment. 

“Relax Bakayama, I just gotta find a better spot and I’ll be able to glance through the window.” He said casually, and stood upright to try and find a higher branch to climb onto. 

“Jesus Christ.” Kageyama sighed, closing his eyes in exasperation. He started to look around nervously, painfully aware that if anyone caught them like this they would have little to no opportunity to escape. 

“Oh I see them!” Hinata exclaimed, and Kageyama was hit with a wave of nausea seeing just how high he was. It didn’t look very stable since Hinata was leaning forward to see. “Wow, there’s like a lot of them.” 

“Hinata I think we should go before anyone sees us, we really shouldn’t be here…” he started rambling, twisting his own fingers with a sinking feeling in his gut. Hinata clicked his tongue and glanced down at him. 

“Come on stop being such a scary cat, Tobio. Where’s your sense of advent-”

He stopped talking and a slight whimper escaped his lips. Kageyama also fell awfully silent when he heard a wooden creak. Hinata’s eyes met his and he had to watch the color drain from his face. He bit his lip nervously but tried to move closer to the trunk. 

“Did I hear a snap?” Kageyama asked, not really thinking anymore with the cold sensation in his body. 

“No…” Hinata had the nerve to answer, clearly a bit scared now as well. 

“HINATA, GET DOWN FROM THERE.” He shouted, his hands starting to shake uncontrollably. He even started to kick his feet and Hinata was just not listening to him! 

“But they’re playing and we need to-” he said, and then yelped when his shoes slipped and he had to grab onto a branch to keep from falling. Kageyama found himself rushing to his side and bringing his arms up to try catching him. 

“HEY.” They heard, and when Kageyama wiped his head around to see what it was he saw a guard stomping his way towards them and that’s when he really started panicking. 

“HINATA.” This time it was a cry of desperation because his dramatic ass saw his life flash before his eyes, thinking his time as a volleyball player was over because he decided to barge into a private school unauthorized, and what was worse was that he was dragging Hinata as well. 

“What the hell Kageyama stop screaming OH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.” The smaller guy said, and if Kageyama was someone watching the scene and not living it, he would have laughed. “Let me just-”

A piercing scream rang in Kageyama’s ears followed by a loud thump, and he saw Hinata land on his feet but then fall on his side harshly. His heart pumped faster and his head spun, seeing Hinata’s painful expression made him whimper slightly and rush to his side. He kneeled before him as the shorter guy sat up slowly, holding his head which was now bleeding slightly probably from a branch scratching him. 

“Oh my God Hinata are you okay??” he asked, not sure what to do with his hands. He forgot about the guard that was probably closer now and about to drag them out by the hair. Under Kageyama’s incredulous stare Hinata got up as swiftly as someone who has fallen from a tree can. 

“I’m okay!” he declared, and decided to take a step. “I’m- I’m not okay oh God.” 

Hinata wobbled and Kageyama caught him before he could fall again, a death grip on his arms. There was no time, Kageyama’s mind was racing and pumping full of adrenaline. He scooped Hinata into his arms and started running for the gate as fast as he could. Hinata himself didn’t question it; rather he wrapped his legs around Kageyama’s waist and threw his arms around his shoulders, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. Kageyama squeezed him out of fear more than anything, and forced his legs to keep going. He was absolutely sure the guard was chasing them because honestly, what else could he do? When he reached the gate he didn’t stop sprinting, he kept going for a few more blocks, taking turns that he obviously didn’t think twice about and would probably get them lost. 

He started to slow down when he heard Hinata whine softly, he kept walking down a street that he did not recognize, and concentrated on breathing in and out to clear his head. 

“You okay?” he asked through ragged breaths. He was still holding Hinata to his chest and in reality his legs hurt more than his arms. When he stopped fully he could feel his legs shaking, and he swallowed nervously. That whole thing couldn’t have gone more wrong. 

“I… ’m a lil’ lightheaded.” Hinata answered, sighing and Kageyama felt his breath on his skin. He carefully laid him on the ground and Hinata blinked rapidly. When Kageyama’s brain processed they were very far from Shiratorizawa and out of danger, he took a deep breath and started screaming like a madman. 

“HINATA WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING. DOES YOUR DUMB ASS DON’T HAVE A SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCT? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? YOU CAN’T GO THROUGH LIFE CLIMBING TREES THAT ARE LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES BIGGER THAN YOU. WERE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK???” 

“Geez, Kageyama. It’s not a big deal.” Hinata simply answered, not fazed by Kageyama raising his voice at him. You could say he was used to it. 

“YOU FELL OFF THE TREE.” 

“Yeah, I noticed.” He answered with a bit of spite on his tongue. Maybe he didn’t appreciate Kageyama screaming at him for something he had done, but on the inside he was a bit flattered that he was scolding him because that meant he cared. 

“Are you okay?!” Kageyama asked for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. “That was a nasty fall, you idiot!” 

“Well it’s not like I just flung myself off the tree! I slipped because the branch was a bit cracked!” 

“BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE ON IT.” 

“Will you calm down?!” Hinata screamed and Kageyama took a step back. “Stop that! Stop acting like you’re my mother, I knew what I was doing! Can’t you trust me for once??” 

“I trusted you and look what happened!” he shouted back without thinking about the words that were leaving his mouth. He saw something behind Hinata’s beautiful copper eyes break, and he simply shook his head and started walking away from him. 

“Hinata.” Kageyama called him. He felt his chest grow heavy. “Hinata!” 

But he did not turn around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!  
Here's some drama between the orange child and the blackberry boy  
I'm sorry for the slight delay, I hope you're all having a great day!  
Thank you immensely for all the support!! <3


	11. Ur part of our family

Hinata didn’t know where the hell he was. He hadn’t paid attention to where Kageyama was running to, and he was sure the other guy hadn’t either. More than walking away from Kageyama, he was limping away as angrily as he could. He decided to ignore the pain that was now crawling up his leg and focused on trying not to look pathetic while hopping on one foot, because putting the bare minimum of weight on his injured one made him want to cry. And if there was anything in this world that Hinata Shouyou would not allow was Kageyama seeing him cry. In addition to his physical pain there was an unnamed ache on his chest as the setter’s harsh words repeated in his head. 

A part of him wanted to let it go, say that it wasn’t a big deal because Kageyama simply expressed himself that way, that he was worried, scared and probably very disoriented. He had heard some harsh words that day too and maybe he was pissed and taking it out on him. Hinata shook his head and decided to stop trying to justify him and start looking for a way to get home. He heard him calling his name, but he refused to face him and just continued on his way. He leaned on the bus stop sign to regain his breath, and thought that maybe if he got to a much more known station he could get back to school, get his bike and drag himself the long way to his house. Sure that wasn’t the most brilliant idea but it was all he had at the time. 

Kageyama caught up with him, but he kept his distance. Hinata just glanced at him and saw pure conflict on his face; he was biting his lip angrily and jumping on his heels up and down. He squeezed the band of his bag so tightly his knuckles turned white. Hinata winced when he felt blood trail down into his eye, and he was reminded of the wound he had on his forehead. He wiped it down with his sleeve, not caring that it was now stained. 

“I didn’t mean what I said.” Kageyama whispered in a low voice, still looking at his shoes. “I do trust you. But you got hurt and I got scared. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” 

“I’m fine.” He answered, although Kageyama’s words were softening his heart. He had never admitted he was wrong, ever, and especially not to him. 

“You can’t walk.” He said, and it was accompanied by an exasperated chuckle. 

“I’ll manage.” He knew he was being stubborn, but he didn’t care. He was mad at Kageyama, he had to stay mad. He had to, in order to not throw away his dignity. 

“Shouyou.” He murmured, and that’s when Hinata looked up at him and saw a boy that was deeply ashamed, shoulders hunched forward and avoiding his eyes. He had never called him by his first name, and when he raised his head his deep blue eyes told Hinata that he meant it as an apology. “I’m sorry.” 

Hinata couldn’t help but smile. God, he already knew he had fallen for Tobio, but him apologizing when he usually just blew things off told him that maybe it was going to be okay between them. That he really didn’t hate him. Hinata dissolved his stance and shook his head. 

“It’s alright.” He told him. “I guess I’m sorry for scaring you.” 

Kageyama breathed out as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and just walked closer to Hinata, and kneeled so he could see his injured foot better. He was delicate when he lifted his pant leg slightly and took off his shoe, which made Hinata make a pained sound in the back of his throat. 

“I think my ankle is sprained.” He commented, putting way too much effort into not falling to the ground. 

“Oh sprained? Have you ever- HINATA THIS IS BROKEN!!” Kageyama exclaimed, burying one of his hands in his hair. 

“You’re so dramatic, it doesn’t even hurt that much.” Hinata scoffed, but he was actually on the verge of tears and Kageyama sure could see through his lie. Kageyama took off his sock as well to reveal that his ankle was not only swollen to like three times its normal size but was turning a nasty shade of purple as well. Kageyama packed his shoe and sock on his bag and then turned his back to him, crouching slightly. 

“Hop up; I’m taking you to the hospital.” Hinata didn’t have the energy to protest, so he placed his hands on Kageyama’s shoulders and jumped as much as he could with one foot. The setter caught the back of his knees fairly easily and stood up straight, making Hinata giggle stupidly. 

“What?” he asked as he started walking down the road, hopefully he knew where he was going. 

“I’ve never been this tall before.” Hinata laughed, and he could feel Kageyama chuckle ever so slightly. “Must be nice.” 

“Dumbass Hinata.” He whispered, but it wasn’t ill-intended. They walked in silence for a while, and Hinata simply rested his head on Kageyama’s and was about to fall asleep. He found out that if he didn’t use his pent up energy in practice (or running around other schools and falling off trees) he tended to get slightly drowsy. The fact that Kageyama was carrying him didn’t help the case, the swing of his steps lulling him. 

“Do I weight anything to you?” he asked, trying to keep his eyes open. 

“Nope.” Kageyama answered, and for once his voice sounded happily amused. “It’s like carrying a bunch of grapes.” 

Somehow they managed to get to a hospital, and when the receptionist saw Hinata’s ankle they didn’t wait around much longer until a doctor came to see them. They even put Hinata on a wheelchair and pushed him to a room all while Kageyama just silently followed him around, wondering why he hadn’t been asked to stay in the waiting room. 

He did have to wait on his own when they were taking an x-ray to make sure the bones weren’t broken. All the while they were there they bickered playfully, arguing over if it was only a sprain or an actual fracture. They actually bet on it and Kageyama found himself hoping he was right, and that his ankle was indeed broken. Which sounded very bad, but he didn’t want to lose and have to buy Hinata something to eat. 

When he came out, he had a smug grin on his face and Kageyama knew he was done for. 

“Sprained.” He chanted, wiggling it slightly for which the nurse scolded him. Kageyama tried to hide his disappointed in losing that stupid bet, but deep down he was actually glad it wasn’t serious. He had sprained his ankles himself, plenty of times when he was younger, so he knew that with the right care Hinata would be jumping on the court again in no time. He also knew how much they could hurt, and tried his best to comfort Hinata when they were bandaging him. He was biting his lip and his eyes were closed tightly, Kageyama guessed he was trying not to cry out. It was bit awkward to be sitting next to him on the gurney when he was in pain, and he ended up just placing a firm hand on his lower back. They also gave him two stitches on his forehead wound, but Hinata was surprisingly calm in the process. 

“Let’s just tell everyone you sprained your ankle during our extra practices instead of falling from a tree like a dumbass, okay?” he said, and Hinata looked offended. They were now waiting for Hinata to be dispatched, and that meant calling his parents and telling them that story. 

“I wouldn’t have fallen if you hadn’t screamed! You startled me!” he argued, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“We were going to get in trouble!” Kageyama responded, a little offended as well. “They could suspend us from the team!!!” 

“Yeah but, guess who got the sweet information we were looking for.” He sang, and smirked triumphantly. For the first time that morning Hinata truly laughed at Kageyama’s stunned expression and seemed like himself again. 

“What do you mean?” he inquired, itching to know just what Hinata meant by ‘sweet information’. 

“The guy we ran into.” He started, and Kageyama got as comfortable as you could on a gurney. “He has a killer serve. Like, almost unstoppable. I saw it, and it is ridiculously fast and even if someone manages to receive it, it is so strong the ball bounces off the court. It looked kinda painful. He’s a spiker, I’m pretty sure he is the ace. He likes to spike things ridiculously high, maybe we could use that time to block accurately. Oh, remember that guy with crazy red hair we saw earlier today? He’s a middle blocker and he is good, in the little bit I saw he was never wrong about where the other team was going to hit.” 

Hinata chuckled at how Kageyama looked like he was being revealed the biggest secrets in the universe, so he had to continue. 

“They have two setters. One of them is a pinch server as well. But what I noticed was that they always toss for Wakatoshi. It’s like he is the only spiker in the court, or I didn’t see anyone else get tosses. I guess he’s a national player, so they rely on him a whole lot.” 

“Hinata you’re…” Kageyama started saying. He was a bit overwhelmed and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut when his thoughts spilled. “You’re amazing.” 

“Th-thanks, Kageyama.” Hinata stuttered and blushed violently, clearing his throat in an attempt to hide how flustered he was. Kageyama’s cheeks also turned slightly pink at the exchange, but he too decided to brush it off as if it hadn’t happened. 

Thankfully, Hinata’s loud obnoxious ringtone broke the silence and gave them an excuse to stop feeling so awkward. It was Hinata’s mom, who had received the call from the hospital and was worried sick about him. Hinata told her the story him and Kageyama had agreed on: he landed badly and sprained his ankle during practice, nothing else. 

“I’m still at the hospital.” Hinata said onto the phone. “No, Kageyama is with me.” 

At that there was a silence and Hinata’s cheeks grew bright red again, and he closed his eyes in shame. 

“Yes, him.” He murmured, and Kageyama had to suppress the itch to ask what his mother had asked about him. And why had he answered yes. “My bike is still at school, I gotta pick it up. Yeah, sure. See you later.” 

He hung up and without words he told Kageyama he wasn’t answering any questions. He simply said that his mom was going to come pick him up, that he didn’t need to worry. The doctor gave Hinata an order to rest until his ankle was fully healed, which could take a few weeks. After waiting around in awkward silence not really knowing what to talk about, Hinata announced that his parents had arrived. At that, Kageyama offered to accompany him given the shorter boy had a really hard time handling the crutches that, even set to the smallest option were still a bit high for him. It took them a whole 10 minutes to get into the parking lot. 

There, a woman with the same wild hair color came out of the car and rushed towards him, placing both hands on his cheeks. Kageyama felt the need to look away from them, and even though he was standing a few meters away it was still a bit uncomfortable to intrude in the moment. A little girl with orange hair in pigtails also came out of the car and almost tackled them to the ground. After he was surrounded by his family, Hinata waved at him goodbye and hopped away. Kageyama took that as his cue to leave and just nodded at him before shoving his hands on his pockets and walking home. 

He took a little more time to actually arrive to his house and his parents were not happy about that. Honestly he was way too tired to lie properly and just deflected every question and slammed the door to his room. Once there he let out a breath and realized his nerves were still on edge, he was still a bit shaken up by the awful bundle of experiences that had happened that day, all back to back. He got in the shower, into pajamas and onto bed. He tried to hide from all the thoughts in his head by covering himself with the blankets, way over his head. He felt pathetic, the weird twist in his chest not allowing him to breathe, his lungs all constricted. 

After what felt like ages, Kageyama’s phone buzzed, making a sound against the wood of his nightstand. For a moment, he considered not answering, ignoring it like he usually did. But something in his gut made him stretch out a hand to take it and see who it was, maybe it was the deep certain feeling of being utterly alone. When he faced the screen, he placed the phone on his chest and wanted to scream into the pillow. 

It was Hinata. More specifically, Hinata had sent him a picture with a caption that he was too shook to read. Hinata had never texted him, even though he _knew_ he had his number (or could take it from the group chat). Maybe after that day they had bonded a little further, just a step closer to each other, like idiots that inched closer but kept looking away. He felt his heart being pulled at its strings and for a moment he felt glad. He could have this, and after all he deserved it. Kageyama’s mind suddenly flashed with the image of Hinata baring his teeth and glaring at the stranger that had stepped on his confidence with iron boots, how he had placed himself between them like a wall and protected him. 

He then opened the chat and saw what the picture was: a selfie of him with old pajamas and sitting in bed, showing his bandaged ankle and giving a thumbs up with the brightest smile ever, even for someone who was injured. Kageyama found himself chuckling at the image, and was quick to type a remark about how he looked like a dumbass or something smart like that. It was also hard to take him seriously when his username was BabyCarrot_Shouyou. Kageyama was still deciding whether he had picked it himself or someone else did it as a joke and he just hadn’t changed it. He wasn’t about to admit that some joker (he suspected it was Nishinoya) had somehow gotten access to his account and changed his name and now he didn’t know exactly how to change it back into something normal. Hinata didn’t mention it. 

They bickered even through chat, but then Hinata turned weirdly unresponsive. For a second, Kageyama thought he had screwed up somehow and that Hinata didn’t want to talk to him anymore, but he was very wrong. 

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: Kageyama? Can I talk to u about sumthing? _

Kageyama’s heart started racing as if he was running away from a predator, and he had to swallow the nervous knot that formed in his throat in mere seconds. That message could mean anything, and suddenly he recalled every single time he had snapped at Hinata or raised his voice at him or anything that might have upset him, and it haunted him for a second before he typed a quick answer with shaky hands. 

_GrumpyKag: sure _

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: im rlly scared,, of like, not being able 2 play volley. i mean, what am i supposed 2 do? _

For starters, it was a relief. Kageyama hadn’t fucked up, entirely, so his whole body relaxed. On the other hand, he knew exactly what Hinata was talking about. He remembers the first time he got hurt, he remembers crying because he thought he could never play volleyball again and that his life was completely ruined. He knows the bitter feeling of impotency, being used to running around and then not being able to even walk properly. He also recalls being insufferable and considerably stupid, trying to still play while his ankle was swollen and clearly not healed, only to make it even worst. He had a feeling Hinata could go down the same path, so he measured his next response carefully. 

_GrumpyKag: Hinata u need to heal. ur ankle could end pretty bad if u dont take care of it and then u wont be able to play at all_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: i know_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: but im so used to running arounnd. its like,, the only thing i got, the only thing i can do is run fast and jump high. and i cant do that anymorw_

_GrumpyKag: surre but it aint permanent Hinata. youll get better and be back on the court being my ultimate weapon, dont worry about it_

Okay were did that come from, he found himself wondering. It was as if when he was with Hinata his brain just went into autopilot, and if he wasn’t careful he could end up spilling some things he’d rather keep from him. Like the fact that now he felt the strong necessity to make sure he was alright, that he wasn’t in so much pain. He even considered carrying him around school and to his house and so many more soft nice things that just didn’t seem to fit with Kageyama himself. He would be disgusted, but then again this was Hinata. 

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: thanks kags ★~(◡‿◡✿) _

And that’s when Kageyama realized his ultimate weakness. It was kind of scary how easily Shouyou could mess with his head, get him all flustered just by abbreviating his name and putting a smiley face next to it.

_GrumpyKag: but dont be a dumbass and rest, we need to beat shiratorizawa and we need ur foot for that_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: maaan all those guys lookd so scary. i really hope theyarent all like Wakatoshi_

The name sparked bitter memories and Kageyama wished they could go back to talking about literally anything else. The words still hadn’t left his mind, the flashback of him stuttering pathetically and feeling his whole self go heavy with each hateful sentence made him utterly upset. 

_GrumpyKag: yeah i guess_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: u dont actuallyy believ what he said right?? _

For a moment, Kageyama didn’t answer. 

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: heyyy, what he said was a bunch of lies. Ur a great player, i dont think u doubt that. u play so danm well, and u play with us. As a team. Ur part of our family, Tobio_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: i mean it_

And just like that, Kageyama Tobio was smiling. He decided he adored being called that, but only if it was Hinata. He read the text over and over again and he suddenly understood what all those enamored people talked about. 

_GrumpyKag: thanks Shouyou_

_GrumpyKag: get some rest ok_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: ill see u tomorrow Grumpy Kags (✿◠‿◠)_

_GrumpyKag: ill see u tomorrow carrot head_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: (>‿‿◕ヽ) (^◇^*)/_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
Here's more of our two idiots getting in trouble together. Let me know what you think!  
Thank you so much for all the support, comments and kudos, they make my heart sing :')  
Have a great week! <3


	12. Thank you

Azumane Asahi wasn’t someone that fell in love easily. Sure, he loved his friends with every bit of his soul, but there was no denying that Suga and Daichi had a deeper, much meaningful connection that Asahi could only dream about having. It didn’t bother him, but it was very clear that Asahi was the odd one out. He had always been so self-conscious about everything regarding himself, so in his mind there was just no way someone could love him like that. For the longest time he told himself it was okay, that life was like that and that he had more important things to worry about. 

That, until a small ball of energy rolling-thundered his way into his life. 

Nishinoya Yuu wasn’t someone you could tame. He was bright, loud and unapologetic. In a sense, Asahi envied him a bit, he was just so… unafraid to speak his mind and it seemed like there was nothing that could throw him off. That’s what he believed until he decided to quit the volleyball team and Noya had looked _this close_ to bursting into tears. Asahi realized pretty early on that he was Nishinoya’s ultimate weakness, but also what made him way stronger. Their dynamic was weird, to say the least, Asahi was sure some people wondered why the small, eccentric second year seemed to love hanging out around a guy that was almost twice his size and barely even talked. 

After their intense moment in the rooftop, Asahi noticed how things slowly but surely shifted back to normal. Sure, during practice he was a little rusty but he was getting the hang of it quickly, and it really helped that Noya did not let his spirits drop for even a second. Just like that, their connection was back, when he jumped up to spike a ball there was little fear, because he knew Noya was there like a guardian if anything happened. He gradually lost his fear of screwing up thanks to the sheer love the team seems to give him and well, because Noya had that kind of effect on him. 

Azumane Asahi didn’t fall in love easily, because he was simply and utterly terrified. 

It was true that his and Noya’s personalities usually clashed, but they somehow made it work. It was something only they shared, their little antics made Asahi feel… special. Noya absolutely loved leaning on him, and Asahi would often find himself with an arm around his torso. It confused him how it was so… easy to be with Noya, how he didn’t seem to worry as much when he was around. What also got into his head was the fact that every time they went out and Noya turned up in casual clothes, his mouth would go dry and he would have to look away to recover his composure. But that wasn’t bad, right? A friend could recognize that the other was attractive; with jeans that clung to his hips, a loose shirt and combat boots. It was okay to think that ever since he decided to pierce his ears and have a ring piercing on his helix he looked like a cute punk. But in like, a friendly way. Asahi was absolutely captivated by Noya’s eyes; those big cat-like orbs that stared at him so intensely were mesmerizing. Mesmerizing in a platonic way of course. 

“Asahi?” he heard, and immediately snapped out of his daydream to see Noya staring at him with curious eyes. 

They were on a bus on their way to Nekoma for a joined practice. Ever since coach Ukai joined the team, Karasuno had gotten in touch with the other schools again, and now practicing together wasn’t something so out of the ordinary. It was something they had to thank Takeda sensei for as well. These occasions meant long bus rides in the afternoon, and for the team the seats were already unofficially assigned. 

Suga and Daichi would sit next to each other obviously, in the front like the parents they were, so they could glare at anyone that was making a fuss. That until Suga placed his head on Daichi’s shoulder and took short naps, then he would stop turning his head to see if everyone was alright. The other members of the team had paired up over the years, and for the longest time Noya had sat next to Tanaka so they could play a videogame or watch silly videos. And it wasn’t like Asahi was _jealous_, no of course not that would be ridiculous. Noya and Tanaka were great friends, they started high school together and Asahi had no right getting in between them. Usually he didn’t have a partner, but he was happy with that because it meant having two seats to himself so he could really stretch those long legs of his that made him feel so cramped in buses and cars. 

Now however, Noya had placed his small self comfortably in Asahi’s chair and urged him to sit next to him. That obviously hadn’t made Asahi’s heart beat any faster than it normally would. 

“You looked like you were dissociating there buddy, you okay?” he asked, placing a hand on his thigh. Asahi tried not to implode in that moment and instead forced himself to blurt out an answer. 

“Yeah? I um, I mean, I was just… thinking, yeah thinking about some stuff, you know me haha I can get pretty lost in my…. Thoughts. Um, I guess I’m a little bit nervous I mean we haven’t trained with Nekoma for a while what if they are better than before I mean they should be because they’re great but I haven’t played them I mean we haven’t played them yet and I really don’t want to lose like okay none of us do but it’s like-“

“I understand.” Noya said, keeping Asahi from further embarrassing himself by rambling like that. Instead he gave him a big, confident smile and took a deep breath. Asahi did the same and with that Noya breathed out. “It’s alright; now we’re both here so we’re going to play spectacularly don’t you worry.” 

What also really amazed Asahi was Noya’s ability to calm him down in just a few words. Ironically, he could be really collected and soft-spoken and it ultimately made him the silence in Asahi’s mayhem. He gave him a thankful smile and Noya returned to leaning against him and listening to music on his headphones. 

When Asahi looked forward he saw Suga and Daichi staring at them with cheeky smiles, and they made a heart with their hands while they sneakered. Asahi felt his face flush and was grateful that Noya wasn’t paying attention. He flipped his friends off and they giggled like the stupid little kids they sometimes acted like. It was something that they apparently liked to do now, bother him with snarky comments that either went over Noya’s head or made him laugh nervously. Asahi knew that if he told them to stop they would, but he didn’t because Noya could never like him like that. Nishinoya was the type of guy to look for a partner that would match his energy and do stupid things with him and Asahi was definitely not that kind of guy. 

All of that was very present in Asahi’s mind; however that didn’t quite help his case. He knew exactly what was happening but was playing dumb, hoping the feeling would go away before it became a problem. What if it was just some healthy admiration for the libero? What if it was his guilt over what happened messing with his head again? Surely it wasn’t anything he should worry about. 

They arrived at Nekoma and started meeting with their friends. Suga was his usual sweet self and soon he was giving hugs left and right with a bright smile on his face. Daichi was watching him carefully, but was smiling fondly at his guy chatting lively with the other team. The first years were a bit more reserved so they liked Kenma’s calm and silent aura, tending to crowd around him without even noticing. The only one that seemed left out was Kageyama, who was standing at the edge of the room with his arms crossed and looking anxious. He had been weirder than usual since Hinata had hurt his ankle, and he seemed to be itching, like something was missing. 

“Big guy!” he heard, and then he saw a tall guy with spiky black hair make his way to him. “You’re back!” 

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Asahi answered, rubbing his neck nervously. He hadn’t really talked to the new Nekoma captain but he appreciated the enthusiasm. He also noticed that Noya was keeping a very close eye on him, as he often did. 

“Game ought to be more interesting now that the Karasuno ace is in the court.” He said, punching him playfully and starting to walk away. “Nice hair by the way. I like that long look on you.” 

And he winked at him. Asahi didn’t know what to do or what to say so he ended up mumbling something random. He undid his hair bun and started doing it again just so he could have something to do with his hands. He saw Noya laugh slightly and realized he had seen his awkward three-phrase conversation. 

“Don’t mind him.” He told him, stretching his arms over his head. “Kuroo likes to flirt with everyone, but he only has eyes for Kenma.” 

Asahi found that rather interesting, knowing he would never be able to flirt with anyone so casually like he did. While they were warming up he wondered if Kuroo had ever flirted with Noya and how had he reacted. Noya wasn’t exactly shy, and would often mess around with Tanaka…

“You nervous?” Daichi asked him, making him snap out of his thoughts. 

“Um, always.” He joked, and was glad to see Daichi laugh quietly. He had been pretty worried for his friend; Daichi seemed very stressed and overwhelmed with the whole Suga thing. If one paid enough attention, Daichi could be seen staring longingly at Suga and the other way around, and still somehow the two dummies didn’t see it. “You talked things out with Suga? You guys good now?” 

“Yeah, but he’s pretending he’s still mad. He likes to fool around like that.” He answered, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Oh so he’s flirting with you.” Asahi said and Daichi shoved him, making him laugh. It was really easy to get Daichi flustered and it was really funny to do so. 

“Keep your head in the game!” he shouted as he ran to his position. 

“Same to you, captain!” he called out, and then rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Noya gave him a grin when it was his turn to serve, so Asahi really felt like everything was going to be okay. 

Noya went absolutely crazy for the high he got from playing. The feeling of being ultra-focused, of sensing every little muscle in his body move and react at the speed of lightning to catch that precious ball never failed to make him feel like he was free. For a long time he thought it would never be the same without Asahi in the court, but now he was by his side and it was like nothing was wrong in the world. 

He actually really liked playing Nekoma, they were sharp, and the plays were fast so his job was narrowed down to a few defining seconds. It was incredibly challenging and taxing on his body, by the end of the first set he could feel his calves and forearms burn, but it was also really rewarding and Noya felt like he was getting better. Sweat ran down his face and his breathing was heavy, the team was a little tense so he squared his shoulders and mocked Kuroo, who was about to serve. The other captain returned the playful grin and threw the ball into the air. Noya exhaled and waited. Kuroo was the only member of Nekoma who could do a jump serve, so Noya had to watch out for him. He saw the ball do a perfect arch and in a second he was moving. How Kuroo managed to serve all the balls in the opposite direction of where he was standing was beyond him. 

What often happened in matches like this was that Noya had to make a decision in the blink of an eye, and often take gambles. The thing was, as soon as he dashed for a direction and he felt the ground coming closer to his body, he would know if he was wrong and by then there would be nothing left to do. That was the particular case, Noya knew the direction was right but his arm wouldn’t reach, he just knew. But despite that he strained, on some kind of blind hope that he would somehow reach. That stretch made him lose the form of the dive and he knew it was going to be painful, but if he could just save the ball…

Still, he was a millimeter short. Noya felt his knuckles lightly grace the ball before it hit the floor and rocketed off. Next he felt a stinging pain in his jaw and was met with the awful sound of his teeth clashing together. A dull ache was present in his chest and arms; he felt them pulsate with the force of his fall. He groaned and closed his eyes tightly, struggling to get up. 

“Noya!” he heard Asahi exclaim and the next thing he knew he was by his side, helping him sit up. He realized the game had stopped and the team was crowding around him but not as close as Asahi. He even noticed Nekoma getting close to the net to see what had happened. 

“Dude, you okay?” he heard Kuroo call. He sounded concerned. “That was one hell of a dive.” 

Noya thought that the pain in his jaw would fade at least a bit after the initial shock, but it wasn’t going away. He reached to touch his lip with a finger and winced as the wound burned. Looking down, Noya discovered he had bled all over his shirt and immediately covered his chin, not wanting to drip any blood onto the court. He would have thought it was really metal to leave a stain in Nekoma’s gym if he wasn’t feeling the warm current of blood on his skin. He had the urge to curse himself because he had split his lip open with his teeth by diving and _not closing his mouth_, which was like rule number one of being a libero. 

Okay maybe not rule one, but not doing it was a rookie mistake and he should have known better. 

“Oh my God Noya you’re bleeding everywhere!” Asahi said as Suga brought him a tissue. Before Noya could take it Asahi snatched it and placed it against Noya’s lip himself. Noya was left all stunned, and not only because he had hit his head. Asahi wasn’t a big fan of blood, and now he was cleaning it off him?

“I’m fine guys, really.” He said, feeling a little awkward that the game was stopped because of him. “I just… miscalculated.” 

“You have to be careful!” Asahi said, and there was something in his voice that made Noya’s stomach twist. His eyes were filled with worry and there were wrinkles on his forehead from pulling a concerned look. 

“I know, I know.” he was quick to say, standing up slowly using Asahi’s arm as a lever. Other than his goddamned lip that didn’t stop bleeding, he felt alright. A little banged up, but fine. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” 

“You’re used to bleeding??” Asahi asked, hands on his hips and looking down at him. Now he was mad? Why? Noya frowned, a bit confused. 

“I’m a libero, Asahi.” He said despite the fact that it hurt to speak with his open lip. The two seemed to be staring intensely at each other and no other member of the team was saying anything. “I spend half my time on the floor.” 

“I’m taking you to the infirmary.” Asahi declared, taking off his sports bib and ruffling his hair in the process. Noya scoffed, and Asahi didn’t seem to like it very much. He hated that he was getting so much attention over something that wasn’t such a big deal, and he hated that he was not letting the others play even more. 

“Don’t be dramatic Asahi.” He protested. “I’m sure that if I just keep putting pressure on it it’ll stop blee- ASAHI WHAT THE HELL” he was making up excuses but was cut short by Asahi wrapping his strong arms around his middle and lifting him off the ground. For a moment Noya felt a bit dizzy and didn’t know what to say, but then it downed on him that the guy that he seemed to have some kind of obsession with was carrying him over his shoulder. He resolved that because he wanted to keep the small bit of dignity he still had, he should make a fuss. That made sense. “PUT ME DOWN AZUMANE I SWEAR TO GOD-”

And that’s how both teams had to watch Karasuno’s ace walk away with their libero screaming indignantly and with a bloodied lip. The players stayed silent until the pair disappeared through the doors, and then looked at each other not knowing exactly what to do. 

“Those two I swear…” Coach Ukai was saying, pinching the bridge of his nose although he seemed weirdly amused. 

“Your kids sure like to put up a scene.” Coach Nekomata grumbled, letting everyone know they should just continue playing. 

“Yeah, they’re dramatic when it comes to each other. Noya isn’t very good at taking care of himself, so Asahi is there for him most of the time. Doesn't mean Noya likes it very much” 

“Teenagers.” The old man muttered to himself before directing his attention to his team. Ukai laughed slightly and hoped those two would be okay. 

Asahi didn’t know what the hell he was doing; his thoughts were sharp and simple: get Noya out of the court. What he did know was that Noya didn’t like to be the center of attention when he got hurt, he didn’t like people pitying him and talking to him like he was a scared puppy. Of course that didn’t stop Asahi from completely freaking out when he saw him sitting on the floor, clearly in pain with blood running down his face. 

And he couldn’t just help Noya up and let him walk by himself, no. He had to be a weirdo and pick him up like he was some sort of child. That was what Asahi was thinking as he walked with Noya to the infirmary. At first he kicked and screamed but now he was just lying limp on his shoulder, and that had Asahi a bit worried. He got him sitting on a gurney as the nurse looked at his wounded lip. Noya looked unimpressed, but didn’t complain. The lady said that he was mostly okay, but that the cut was pretty deep. Asahi saw Noya flinch when she disinfected the area and covered it with a special sort of gauze. 

“Stop licking it, you’ll get it to fall off.” Asahi said. He had been allowed to stay and he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed across his chest. Noya shot him a glare and looked away, clearly pissed. Asahi pretended that didn’t hurt. His short legs were dangling off the edge of the gurney and he was pouting, making his swollen lip look even bigger. The nurse eyed the bruises that littered his knees but didn’t comment on it. Finally, she said that they were free to go and exited the room. 

Despite the possibility of getting out of there, Noya didn’t move. 

“You shouldn’t have done that.” He whispered, his voice was unlikely hoarse. His tone told Asahi he was mad, which was very odd for him. But when he did get mad, he was deadly silent. 

“You can be mad all you want pal, I ain’t changing my mind.” He replied, not really sure if he meant that. 

He didn’t respond. He simply stared at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the room and completely ignored him. Asahi tried to prompt him as best he could, calling his name and even cracking a few jokes that came out tasteless before giving up. 

“Talk to me, Nishinoya.” He said firmly, now worried that he had ruined things for real. 

“Why do you care so much about me?” he said finally, turning his head to him and staring with big eyes that were filled with conflict. 

“Ah? What do you mean why?” Asahi asked, unsure if he understood what was happening. Noya finally smirked, but there was a bittersweet scowl on his face. 

“I mean yeah, we all take care of each other but you… it’s- it’s like you- you carry me in your arms! You make sure I-I’m eating well and that my bruises are fading properly!” 

“Well because you’re shit at taking care of yourself!” he exclaimed, unable to restrain himself. “So someone’s gotta do it, and it’s gonna be me. Get used to it.” 

Noya fell silent and blinked slowly, as if Asahi had just slapped him. Then, his cheeks started to blush and he looked away, making himself smaller. Asahi was quick to realize that he had come off too strong. 

“Oh God Noya I’m sorry.” He apologized, stumbling over his words. “That was harsh I-I-I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that-”

“Asahi.” He stopped him, and the ace saw him smile brightly, that smile that was so Noya it made his heart beat faster. He realized Noya wasn’t mad with him; instead he was amused with the whole situation, shaking his head with his eyes closed and a slight laugh on his voice. Asahi smiled as well, and felt his chest fill up with that unnamed feeling that had been haunting him for a while. “Thank you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey~!  
I wanna say thank you for all the nice comments you've left all throughout the chapters, I do read them all and they make me extremely happy :')  
Here's another chapter of our volleyball dorks   
Hope you have a great week! 
> 
> (P.S is anyone else shooketh because of the last manga chapter or is that just me??)


	13. Only if you are

Hinata was used to running around ever since he learned to stand on his two wobbly legs as a kid. It was honestly a miracle that he hadn’t injured himself ever, until now. He tried to be positive about it, tried to conceal the fact that he felt like he was a grounded bird, that “walking” around with clutches was worse than having Kageyama death stare at you, and that going home immediately after class without going to practice was actually taking a serious toll on his health. After all, he lived to play volleyball; it was the only thing that made sitting hours upon hours on his desk bearable. And now it was gone. Sure, temporarily, but Hinata actually had to survive this period to play again. 

His team had been nice about it all, not asking many questions but showing they were concerned. Suga gave him a special ice pack and Daichi and the others bought him candy and one of those ridiculously obnoxious “get well soon” cards. Hinata suspected it had been Noya’s idea. 

Since he couldn’t ride his bike anymore, when school was over Hinata had to sit pathetically at the bus stop and wait. He felt all awkward and not in control of his body, he was awfully slow and took several minutes to organize his things and exit the school building. He got to the little bench and sat down heavily, sighing to himself. He scratched his scalp rather harshly and tugged at his curls, wishing his foot would just heal already. Too deep in his own self-pity, Hinata didn’t notice Kageyama had walked up to him. He didn’t notice the taller boy rubbing his hands nervously or shifting his feet before actually speaking. 

“Hey, Hinata.” he said, and it was a nice change from ‘hey dumbass’

Hinata turned his head to look at him and felt his heart flutter. Things had been… weird with Kageyama, ever since their little experience in the hospital. Hinata wasn’t going to practice anymore, and although they were together during their breaks it was like Kageyama was purposely being silent and ignoring his attempts to make it less uncomfortable. He often looked away with an unreadable expression and it was driving Hinata mad, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had thought Kageyama liked him as least as a friend, but now he was unsure. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” Hinata said. That was a bit cold and he knew it, but he was actually really tired, physically and emotionally and just wanted to get home and sulk. Kageyama had other plans. 

“There’s no practice today, the court is on maintenance so they sent us home.” He explained, and then shook his head as if to get his thoughts back on track. “Remember when we were in the hospital? And we bet on your ankle being sprained or broken?” 

“Yeah, I remember that.” Hinata answered, a slight smile crawling onto his lips. That lopsided smile gave Kageyama heart palpitations that he had to fight through. Hinata watched him nervously swallow but didn’t think much of it. “I remember you lost.” 

“And while I hate losing, I gotta keep my word.” He spat out, crossing his arms and looking away. Hinata could swear he saw the faintest blush on his cheeks. “Get up, we’re getting ice cream.” 

“Really???” Hinata perked up and immediately jumped to his one working foot a little too fast, which caused him to lose balance. Kageyama was quick to steady him by grabbing his forearms firmly. 

“Careful, dumbass!” he exclaimed, a bit startled. Even when Hinata was standing properly, he didn’t let go, he held him close to his chest for a while and breathed out. Hinata was completely frozen, his brain completely blank due to Kageyama being so close to him he could feel his scent. “C-Come on, let’s go.” 

And so the odd pair went on their way. It only took Hinata two whole minutes of whining and complaining to get Kageyama to give him a piggyback ride. Oddly enough, Kageyama didn’t seem to care when they reached the part of town that was crowded. Kageyama obviously did not have a great time hanging out with Hinata. Of course his stomach didn’t flip itself over when his eyes shone at the idea of getting ice cream. He didn’t enjoy listening to Hinata ramble about nonsense while he drank his milkshake, and he certainly did not stare at him the whole time like a love-struck idiot. 

He prayed to whatever God was out there that Hinata didn’t notice. 

.

Daichi wasn’t sure how he’d wanted his evening to end, but it was definitely not stealing wine from the upper shelf in Suga’s house. Daichi had promised to take him out on Saturday but since practice was cancelled, he figured why wait. So he took Suga for the evening with no plan whatsoever. They ended up in the movie theater, asking for tickets for whatever film was playing next. Daichi wasn’t worried, for Suga eating popcorn bathed in butter was like doing drugs, so he was sure he would be happy even if the movie was crappy. Then, still in their uniforms, the pair walked down the park and actually had a conversation without bickering about things that angered them. It was a nice and much needed change of pace. 

Suga was the hot-headed daredevil half of their friendship. It was always him who was pushing calm, somber Daichi into situations that could very easily get out of hand, but he followed him anyway. So when Suga had that smirk on his face, Daichi knew he was up to something. He had to admit that what he thought was much, much worse than this. Suga had urged him into his house and one thing led to another and now Daichi had a bottle of wine in his hand and was struggling to get it open. Suga’s parents had always had quite the stash of all kinds of alcohol and Suga had been trying to coax Daichi into drinking it since forever. He didn’t know why this time was different, but he gave in quite easily. Maybe it was the slight feeling in the pit of his stomach when Suga gave him puppy eyes. 

Daichi knew it was wrong, for various reasons, and to top it all Suga wasn’t supposed to have anyone over when his parents were out of town. And there he was, not only intruding in their household but stealing their wine with their still underage son. Suga squealed when the cork popped loudly, and Daichi teased him about being so jumpy. In no time they were perched on the couch with glasses filled with wine, talking shit. 

“Dude, Kageyama is totally in love with Hinata.” Suga said, holding his head up and starting to giggle more than usual. Daichi wasn’t fond of the bitter bite of alcohol, but he would do just about anything to humor him so in a few minutes his thoughts were slower and much blurrier. 

“Is he now?” he said, struggling to keep his heavy eyelids open. 

“I saw them on a date today.” He whispered. “They’re totally in love, I assure you. Besides, I can tell people’s secret love by just looking at them.” 

“Of course you do.” Daichi laughed, because Koushi tended to start spilling stuff when he was drinking, and he had been present most of those times. The guy just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. In one of the darkest corners of his mind Daichi knew all he needed to do was get Suga slightly drunk for him to get information out of him. Information that maybe sober Daichi wasn’t prepared to hear. 

“Don’t believe me?” he challenged, taking a big sip. “I knew about Noya’s crush on Asahi way before anyone. I knew about coach Ukai’s little fling, and I knew our chemistry teacher was cheating on his wife before we found him making out with the lady from the cafeteria.” 

“Ew why would you make me remember that?” Daichi complained, massaging his temples. It had been truly disturbing to see adults sloppily making out on the teacher’s desk when they were just innocent first years. 

“So you believe in my superpower of telling who’s in love with whom.” Suga slurred, smiling widely and proud of himself. 

“So if you look in the mirror you can tell who you’re in love with?” Daichi asked, and Suga froze with the glass halfway to his lips. He opened his eyes as if the truth had been revealed to him. 

“…..wow…. I hadn’t thought about that…” he murmured more to himself than anything, and Daichi chuckled at his incredibly ‘focused’ expression. “I don’t know… maybe?” 

“And who am I in love with, huh?” had Daichi not had a considerable amount of alcohol in his veins, he wouldn’t have let those words leave his mouth. In the back of his mind he could hear the voice of reason screaming because _what in the world are you doing???? _

“Aaagh I was hoping you wouldn’t ask thaaat.” He answered, and the knot in Daichi’s throat seemed to tighten. Suga pouted angrily and frowned. “I just can’t seem to read you. The… scanner doesn’t work, it’s weird. Are you human? How are you defying my power?” 

“Ironic. Really ironic Sugawara.” Daichi thought, and then realized he had said it aloud. However Suga was too far gone to properly process the implications of Daichi saying it was highly ironic that he couldn’t tell who he was in love with. Had he been sober he would have known right away, Daichi being this fucking obvious. 

“Shut up Sawamura.” He answered instead, sighing. “Besides, if you were in love with someone then you would _tell me_, right?” 

Because they told each other everything. The situation was painfully tragic, that they were talking about how there were no secrets between them while Daichi had been sleeping on his biggest secret for years now. Indirectly, he was lying to Suga when he said that he knew everything about him and knew him like no one else. He wanted that to be true, but it couldn’t when Suga didn’t know his heart bled for him. 

Daichi didn’t answer and that prompted Suga to give him a very suspicious look. That’s when fear started to set in that maybe he’d fucked up again somehow. 

“…Are you? In love with someone?” he asked, and Daichi’s mouth went dry. “Now that I think of it, you’ve never talked about crushes before.” 

Now the conversation was going into some very dangerous territory. No, of course Daichi had never talked about having a crush in all the years he’s known Suga, because there hasn’t been _anyone_ besides Suga. Because when you’re so painfully in love with someone how can you even consider looking at other people? When the reason your heart beats faster is right in front of you. 

“You haven’t either.” He said, and it was a good comeback to protect his secret. “Well, besides from that girl that was like, five years older than us and we only saw once a week when she walked in front of the school.” 

“Oh come ooooon, low blow!” He protested, and Daichi only laughed. “I was dumb, okay? Everybody was like nyeh nyeh nyeh look at us we’re so manly we ogle women, so I just picked that random girl and made her my everything. I still think about her sometimes…”

Daichi hit him with a pillow over the head and Suga pretended he had been shot. He groaned loudly as he slid into the floor, an arm over his eyes. 

“Get up, you dramatic ass.” Daichi said, standing up and actually swaying slightly. “I need to get going.” 

“So soon?” he said, still pretending he was dead. “Your mother will kill you if you show up like that though.” 

“Suga, is almost 2am.” Daichi noted, and that didn’t seem to make a compelling argument for his case. “But you’re right, and then I’ll tell her it was your idea so she’ll kill you too.” 

“And we would meet in heaven.” He sang. “Sounds like a good plan.” 

“Bold of you to assume you’d go to heaven.” He teased, and Suga reacted obnoxiously. 

“I am offended!” he declared. “Apologize!” 

“Nope.” Daichi said, clicking his tongue just to annoy him. 

“Now you’re not getting into heaven either!” he exclaimed, getting up too swiftly for someone who’s drunk and throwing himself on Daichi. They fell on the couch with a soft thump, Suga attempting to wrestle him but being stopped by his own stupid giggling. 

“See you in hell.” He murmured evilly and struggled with him just to go along with his game. Somehow, Daichi ended up lying on his back with Suga sitting on his abdomen. He admits it makes it a little hard to breathe, not only because of the weight but because Suga is looking down at him as he pants slightly, with his cheeks still tinted red. 

Neither of them move. Daichi could die right there for all he cared. But the spell is broken by the loud clock announcing it is now 2 in the morning. Suga slid off him and helped him stand up, all while guiding him to the kitchen. They stay in silence while Daichi chugs two glassfuls of water in an attempt to sober up. After that Suga walks him to the door and hugs him, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. Daichi breathes him in and wants the moment to last forever, with Suga in his arms it feels like nothing is wrong. 

He gives him a kiss on the cheek and goes on his way. The feeling of it lingers, and Daichi questions whether or not he’s willing to keep going like this. Of course he would never give up Suga, even if he was stuck being just his friend. But it was also painful to play around like that, flirting and having moments with someone that he wasn’t even sure liked him back. 

When he got to his house he simply stripped and got into bed, hoping sleep would erase his worries at least for a while. 

.

Suga woke up to a mild headache and an empty heart. He rubbed his face and sighed; remembering the night before as if it had been a distant dream. He didn’t recall that being alone with Daichi made his chest feel funny, especially when he had a few glasses of wine on him and seemed to lose his filter. He remembers, oh God he remembers. In one of the dark corners of his mind he wonders if he makes Daichi uncomfortable with his relentless flirting, and he hasn’t said anything because he is too embarrassed or something odd like that. 

Suga is a perceptive guy; he _knows_ something between them changed, he just doesn’t know what it is and Daichi won’t tell him. He fears is because of something he said, something he did to expose his feelings and now he had ruined the best friendship he had ever had. 

Because the truth was, Suga was utterly and hopelessly in love with Daichi. He doesn’t really remember when it started; he believes it’s something that came about with the years, gradually and slowly until he was left in this mess. The mere thought of him was enough to make his chest flutter, and he craved his touch until he was made desperate when they were apart. Daichi became so fundamental to him it was almost scary, and he was terrified of losing what they had just because he sometimes thought about crossing the line of friendship in more than one way. 

Still, Suga knew he had to tell Daichi _someday_. Mainly because holding everything inside was getting harder and harder every day. His chest would physically ache in those beautiful but fleeting moments, when they were close to each other, completely silent and Daichi would stare at him with those big dove eyes of his, Suga’s breath would hitch and he would be left staring at his lips before laughing it off nervously. They never talked about those times; it was something that neither of them was brave enough to mention. 

Suga pushed all those thoughts away as he finished packing his bag. He took the bus to school and when he arrived to the gym he was pleased to see his teammates. Asahi and Noya were deep in conversation but waved happily at him, Tanaka coming and tackling him in a hug. Hinata gave him a bright smile and Kageyama nodded his way. Tsukki and Yamaguchi waved as well and Suga was filled with a warm feeling that eased the train wreck of his thoughts from earlier. 

That, until Daichi showed up. It was like a pang in the gut, how fucking attractive he was. He had a fresh haircut, his skin seemed to be glowing and he was smiling at him in that heart-wrenching way where his eyes creased and his whole face lit up. He was wearing a casual shirt that clung to his broad shoulders and training shorts that left his thighs exposed and left little to imagination. The sight made it a little harder to breathe. 

“Ready?” he asked when he finally reached him. Suga prayed that he wasn’t blushing

“Only if you are.” Was what he managed to say without stuttering. 

Takeda sensei had arranged for them to go on a training camp with various other schools, hence them meeting at the gym in the morning. They all saw coach Ukai arrive looking like he had slept for less than an hour, and he just muttered something about doing their best before almost collapsing in Takeda’s arms. The teacher chuckled and dragged them both into the bus. Suga’s love sense tingled slightly at the image of the two. 

They were going to all be staying in the same building, training their asses off and meeting other teams. Suga knew having them all together was a recipe for disaster, so he was quite excited. Daichi let him have the window seat but still tangled their legs together as they settled with their headphones in. Suga sighed and decided to throw all reason out the window when he placed his hand on top of Daichi’s and pretended it was just something casual. 

Much to his surprise, Daichi turned his hand and connected their palms, holding them there and giving them a light squeeze. Suga’s heart was threatening to beat out of his chest, and Daichi simply closed his eyes and leaned his head on his. After a moment he started to calm down and just went with it, finding a comfortable spot against Daichi’s body and napping like it was the most normal thing in the world. He didn’t notice Asahi looking at them from his seat and rolling his eyes into infinity at how goddamn _obvious_ they were. Suga breathed in and out in synch with Daichi and was lulled to sleep, the small hope that they could make this work settling in his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm sooo excited because we're finally into training camp territory. In the next few chapters they're all staying together like the big family they are, so prepare for shenanigans and a lot of trouble! >:)  
On another note, thank you so so so much for the amazing comments, I always read all of them and get really happy when I recognize your username ;)  
Thanks for all the support, and have a great week! <3


	14. I promise

Not in Hinata’s wildest dreams would he have even considered being where he was that day, sitting cross legged on a futon in a wide room with all of his teammates. His sprained ankle had healed surprisingly fast, and with a few sessions of training he was back to normal, jumping as if nothing had happened. Daichi was standing with his hands on his hips and making his captain face while the others were still settling. It pleased him how Kageyama took the mattress beside his completely unprompted. 

“I know we’re all a bit tired from that long drive, but we’re here now.” Daichi began, glaring at Noya who was vibrating with excitement. “And we’re gonna be here for the next week or so. They have accepted us into their training program; we’re literally playing with the best in Tokyo, and that alone is a great honor for our team. These guys have been playing together for years now, but this is our first time. Needless to say, I expect you to put up a fight. They’ve also been kind enough to let us stay here, cook for us and let us use their gyms. Takeda sensei worked extremely hard to make this happen, so ABSOLUTELY NO TROUBLE, I MEAN IT.” 

“Yes, captain my captain!” Suga and Asahi chanted, and Hinata could tell it made Daichi chuckle in exasperation. 

“Now go to sleep, we start very early in the morning.” he murmured as he let himself fall harshly on his mattress. 

“Oh you don’t want to be missing from roll call, trust me.” Suga told them, and Hinata and Kageyama gave each other a concerned look. None of them wanted the captain to be mad at them. 

After a few minutes they were all in their beds and with the lights off. Hinata was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the eerie silence. He turned his head to see Kageyama, who slept on his side and completely curled up. Watching his breathing like a goddamn creep he concluded he wasn’t asleep either. 

“Pssst.” He hissed, and he didn’t acknowledge him. Hinata didn’t want to wake anyone, but he felt a weird itching that prevented him from just laying still in silence. “Kageyama.” 

“What.” He answered very softly, his voice deep and scruffy. 

“…You up?” he asked, not knowing what to say. He was aware how stupid the situation was. 

“No.” 

“Do you think the teams here are really strong?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you scared?” 

“No.” 

“Do you think we’ll win any matches?” 

Silence. 

“I hope so, at least.” He continued. “It’s true that they’re super great, but we’ve been practicing a lot so I think maybe we’ll beat them once or twice. Don’t you think so?” 

“Mm hmm.” He groaned. They both stayed silent and Hinata fidgeted with his fingers. 

“Kageyama.” 

“Oh my God, what.” He answered, this time sounding a little more pissed. 

“Do you think our quick will be enough to win?” 

“You know the answer to that.” He did. No, it wasn’t enough, and the faster he realized that it wasn’t a fail-safe technique the better. Still, the quick made Hinata feel safe, like with that he could prove the world that he could play volleyball. 

“Kageyama?” he asked into the silence of the room for what felt like the twelfth time. 

“Whaaaat?” 

“Would you two just SHUT UP?” Another voice chimed in. It seemed to be Daichi and he was not happy. 

“Forgive him; he gets grumpy when he’s tired.” Suga said, his voice sounding like he was wide awake. 

“We’re all tired!” Daichi exclaimed. “Go to sleep!” 

“Relax dude, some of us just can’t sleep.” Noya butted in, sounding like he was struggling to keep from laughing. 

“Well some of you are quiet!” he replied as Hinata saw the lump that was his captain tighten his sheets and roll over. 

“Sorry cap.” Hinata whispered, and heard Suga giggling. 

“Man, we should play a game.” Noya commented, and when Hinata sat up he found that Noya had done the same. Suga was still lying down but he was obviously awake, and Kageyama was trying to ignore all of this. 

“If you say never have I ever-” Daichi started, and Noya was already shushing him. 

“See I knew you were going to say that but-” he defended himself, but Daichi was quick to say: 

“Remember what happened last time, Noya. No.” his voice sounded like it was final. 

“Okay you have a point but we haven’t played it with the first years! It’s like a traditionnn come ooon.” 

“We should play when everybody is awake.” Suga suggested, and it almost felt like they were two parents bargaining with their petulant child. 

“I’ll take it.” Noya said, sounding pleased with himself. “It’s gonna happen Daichi, you can’t avoid me forever.” 

“I can try!” Daichi grumbled. 

“See for someone who’s complaining so much about us not sleeping, it’s not like you’re sleeping either!” Noya accused him, and that’s when Daichi had enough and hurled a pillow across the room to hit Noya in the head with it. 

“You’re not getting this back!” he called, hugging the pillow to his chest and letting himself fall on the futon. 

Kageyama had rolled over and was facing him. While he was pretending to sleep, his seemingly permanent frown was gone and he looked incredibly peaceful. He also saw the ends of his lips pulling up ever so slightly, and Hinata knew he too was glad to be a part of their weird, amusing family. 

.

Training camp was… an experience. They woke up incredibly early, and the first thing on their mile long list of things to do was jog. Suga wasn’t really fond of jogging despite having done so for years now. Getting them all ready was chaos, and Daichi actually made a roll call before they left for their track. 

Daichi was more of a sports guy so he actually looked like he was enjoying himself. Suga envied his ability to look all refreshed after a run while he was all covered in sweat and looking like he wanted to die. The athletic freaks Kageyama and Hinata made the most of it by racing each other and when they were done they still had the ability to skip towards the cafeteria to get breakfast. The rest of the team dragged themselves to the hall and just collapsed on the table. 

After stuffing their faces and resting just slightly they jumped right into practice. Match after match, round after round they slowly burned away their energies. What kept Suga on his feet was the fact that the first year wonder duo looked so incredibly thrilled in their own unique way. 

Lunch and dinner rolled around fast enough and Suga escaped to the rooms as soon as he could. He took what seemed like the longest shower as if with the water he could wash away the tiredness that had set into his bones. He sat on his mattress and tried to even his breathing. The room was completely empty except for him, so Suga gave himself the change to properly move his right ankle. 

It had been hurting ever since they started playing, he felt like it clicked awkwardly when he stepped too hard on it. Suga wasn’t a hypochondriac, but at the end of the day it did feel stiffer. Had he sprained it somehow? That couldn’t be possible; he wouldn’t be walking so casually. Besides, it didn’t hurt _that_ much. He could handle it; maybe it would be better in the morning. 

.

Kageyama was beyond thrilled. It was his dream to train and play volleyball every hour of the day. He felt like this was the closest he could get to experience what it would be like to be a professional player at his age, and he was completely in love the feeling. It filled his otherwise empty chest to be on the court, feeling his muscles burn and the sound of hands hitting the ball; the running of shoes made him feel like home. 

He knew that Hinata was feeling the same. When he spared a glance on his direction all he saw was how his eyes shone with wonder. Sweat was running down his face and making his hair stick to the sides of his head, his legs were shaking slightly but he was sure he had never felt so alive. 

They were the last ones to leave the court. They kept their freak quick a secret so that it would catch the other teams by complete surprise when they had a match. Even so, by sticking around the members of the other teams they heard about the Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium, which had the biggest volleyball court there was and how it hosted high school National finals and Japan’s official games. It was a very big deal, to say the least. 

“We gotta see it!” Hinata chirped, tugging at the long sleeve shirt he had thrown on to sleep. Kageyama had to admit he wanted to see it too, but for that they had to ask for permission to leave practice. Or escape without getting caught, at the very least. 

“We need to ask Daichi-san if we can go.” He reasoned. They were in the room getting settled to sleep, and they were talking with no worries because the rest of the team was exhausted and completely out by then. It was an unholy hour, probably not wise since they had to get up super early. 

“He’s gonna say no!” Hinata whined, and Kageyama knew deep inside that he was right. Why would he let them go to a gym just to see it? Surely he just wouldn’t understand if they tried to explain what it _meant_. It could get them in some trouble but of course they wanted to sneak in and have a few goes at it. Kageyama was even willing to break some rules for this. 

“I have a plan.” He said simply, laying down on his mattress but still facing Hinata

“Oh like you had a plan for spying on Shiratorizawa?” he sassed, giving him an ironic look. 

“Did it or did it not work.” He argued, and Hinata scoffed. 

“But I don’t want to injure myself this time!” he whisper-shouted. 

“That wasn’t my fault! It was an accident!” 

“An accident that happened because I was trying to find a solution to your stupid plan not working out!” 

“Gosh, get over it!” Kageyama exclaimed, slightly amused. 

“I will personally murder you guys.” Daichi chimed in, and the two shut their mouths instantly. They had made it a habit to talk like that when they were supposed to be sleeping. 

A few very tense seconds went by, Hinata and Kageyama staring at each other, covering their mouths with their hands. At a point Hinata’s eyes starting to crease and Kageyama knew he had a mischievous grin behind his palms. 

“Did he hear everything? About us spying on… you know?” he asked, this time it was barely a hush. 

“I don’t know. Either way, he’ll be too tired to remember.” 

“So what are we gonna do?” 

“I told you, I have a plan. Do you trust me?” 

Hinata closed his eyes and snuggled his pillow. Kageyama swallowed the lump in his throat, which disappeared once Hinata smiled. 

“You know I do.” 

.

For Hinata and Kageyama, asking “do you trust me” had become some kind of pact between the two. Every time they asked, they knew for certain the answer would be yes. For a while, it had been only because absolute trust was necessary for their freak quick, but with time it shifted and now it was the reassurance of their friendship. Of their partnership. 

That, of course didn’t mean they didn’t have trouble deciding which of them would do the very stupid thing they wanted to do. After a few rounds of going “no, you ask him!” it was Hinata the one who was standing a few feet away from Suga, fiddling with his fingers. Kageyama had been right; Hinata had a better relationship with the vice-captain, on top of the fact that Kageyama wasn’t really good at asking for favors, or talking to other people entirely. 

“Um, Suga-san?” he said, and the setter turned to him to find an orange haired child with his inseparable partner peeking out the corner. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” Suga answered, smiling at him. Practice hadn’t officially started so all the players were scattered. 

“See, Kageyama and I want to do this thing that… um, is a bit, how do I put it…”

“Illegal?” that made Hinata freeze like a deer on headlights, and Kageyama was biting his nails watching the interaction. He really wanted to go see that damn gymnasium. 

“I-I… No?. But it would involve us leaving practice for a little bit…” he managed to say through his stutter. “We want to go to the Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium.” 

“Isn’t that like, a few kilometers away?” he asked, but didn’t comment on the fact that they wanted to leave practice just to go see a place. 

“Y-yes? But we really really want to go.” They could figure out how to get there later. 

“And what did Daichi say?” Suga asked, crossing his arms and giving him an ironic glance. Hinata swallowed nervously. 

“No…”

Sugawara had always felt slightly responsible for the first-years ever since he became vice-captain. They were all too young and naïve and he believed horrible things would have happened to Asahi and him had Daichi not been stupidly mature for his age. He also wished the third years had taken him into account when he was just starting. He wanted them to feel safe. 

And well, life had handed him two problem children that he had managed to beat into shape and, with enough time, he had grown very fond of. Now those children were there asking him to let them escape and navigate a city they didn’t know so they could see a gymnasium. As stupid as it may sound, Suga could get behind their desire to go. It’s the kind of stupid thing he may have wanted to do when he was younger. 

“Then why would I let you?” he asked, more to himself. Daichi would be furious, that was for sure, and them leaving the camp unauthorized (because let’s face it, neither him nor Daichi had the authority to let them go.) could potentially lead to a bigger mess. 

“Because he’s not the boss of you.” Hinata said, giving him that intense look he got when he was extremely focused. 

_This is a trap_ Suga thought. Just because of that he wanted to say yes. Damn Hinata and his people skills. He sighed and stepped closer so that only Hinata could hear. Kageyama had also come out of his hide out and was now standing beside his partner. 

“He’s the captain, guys.” Suga said, listening to his better judgement. 

“You’re captain too!” Kageyama argued, and then blushed with embarrassment at his chiming in like that. 

“Vice-captain.” he corrected him. 

“Please, Suga-san! It would mean the world to us! Please please please pleaseee!!” Hinata cried, giving him puppy eyes. Even Kageyama was pouting slightly and trying to look less like his usual intimidating self. Suga’s heart couldn’t handle it. He hadn’t stopped himself from doing stupid things to why would he now? 

Because he’s supposed to be older and wiser. He’s supposed to know better. 

“Okay fine!” he gave in and Hinata would have squealed in delight had Kageyama not covered his mouth with his hand. “But if Daichi finds out I will deny knowing any of it. And you better not snitch on me.” 

“Thank you thank you thank you!!!” they said with that freaky coordination of theirs and skipped away. Suga shook his head and focused on looking innocent during practice. 

.

“See? My plan worked perfectly.” Kageyama smirked, standing in front of the building. 

“Daichi could always kill us when we get back.” Hinata said, dusting off his hoodie. 

After a few minutes of confusion and trying to figure out what bus to take, Hinata and Kageyama jumped into a city that was completely unknown to them. They got lost a couple times, argued heatedly about it for a couple minutes, sat down in a random park in complete silence; wondering how the hell they were going to get back, got a sudden burst of motivation, tried again and finally; somehow managed to arrive to their destination. It had been a rollercoaster of events, but they finally got there. The Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium stood tall before them, and Kageyama could only marvel at the image; warmed by the idea of playing an official game in that professional court. He glanced down at Hinata and his eyes were filled with longing. It was reassuring to know that his partner felt the same, because in Kageyama’s daydreams Hinata was always there by his side. 

They walked up to it and Kageyama placed his hands on the wall, as if that way he could feel the way it was inside. They were actually in the back, the place was practically empty. 

“I wished we could come on a day that it is actually open and-” he was saying, and when he turned around to see what Hinata thought, he found him frowning at the lock as he moved a pair of clippers inside “What are you doing?” 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he answered, not really looking at him. 

“You’re picking the lock?!” he exclaimed, looking frenetically in all directions. 

“You didn’t actually think we’d come all the way here to just stand outside, right?” was his answer. 

“Since when do you know how to pick locks?!” he asked, not really knowing what else to do. 

“Oh I’m full of surprises.” He said, sticking his tongue out at him. In that moment the lock clicked and the door swung open. Kageyama felt a wave of panic mixed with euphoria that left his hands all cold. “Come on!” 

Hinata grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside. Kageyama could actually feel his heartbeat on his temples, the feeling of Hinata’s skin on his making his head spin. A nervous giggle escaped his lips and Hinata responded with one of his own. He remembered Hinata saying that what they were going to do wasn’t illegal. It definitely was now. 

“Oh my God.” He heard Hinata whisper. In a second they had made it through the back storage and gotten into the main area. 

There was a center court, which looked huge with all the empty space. The net was up, perfectly tense and knitted, flawless. There was a digital panel to keep score. The lines looked newly painted; the floor was actually smooth and spotless. Kageyama felt it under his shoes, breathed in the air around him even though the lights were off and their ragged breaths resonated with echo. 

“Hinata.” he murmured, afraid to break the silence of the court. His chest was full of content, of wonder, and all of that allowed for his tongue to run free and speak his mind with no fear of the repercussions or need to keep up his usual image “Someday we’ll be here, wearing a red uniform.” 

He physically felt Hinata’s stare. He was slightly afraid of looking, but he still met his big amber eyes. His breath hitched, and behind the general darkness he was blushing. The silence between them stretched. It was a declaration after all, going way back to the first time they met in middle school, separated by the net. _You were my opponent, someone I had to defeat. Now I don’t know if I can play without you. You’re my spiker. We’re going to make it to the top together. I’m not fighting you anymore. _

“Do you promise?” he whispered. Kageyama realized he was still holding onto his wrist, though his grip was loosened. He decided to throw every ounce of reason out the window and slid his hand into Hinata’s in a firm grip. 

“I promise.” 

Hinata gave him the faintest smile, though his eyes told him he was sincere. He didn’t let go of his hand, didn’t pull away. Kageyama liked the way his palm closed around Hinata’s small hand. It felt oddly right, like two puzzle pieces fitting together. 

“You wanna practice? For when we do it for real?” he said, and his smile turned to a mischievous grin. Before Kageyama could ask what he meant, Hinata reached into his backpack and pulled out a volleyball. So not only could he pick locks, but he could also steal something as big as a ball without getting caught. 

“Of course you did.” He said fondly. Hinata shrugged innocently. 

“Come on, setter. Toss for me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!  
sorry this chapter is a bit late, being out of town for the weekend left me with no internet :(  
but I'm here now! and our favorite volleyball dorks are all together in training camp and already getting in some trouble.  
Expect more to come >:D  
As always thank you so so sooo much for all the support, the kudos and the comments, and have a great week!! <3


	15. Wake me up (wake me up inside)

Asahi felt strangely calm. He knew this kind of situations made him nervous, a lot of people and a lot of expectations. But once he settled into the casual groove of the training camp, he actually started to enjoy it. The other teams had guys that took things way too seriously, but there were also the ones who liked goofing around because really, they were playing volleyball with their friends. 

He had to admit that his nice happiness was also due to his extra practice with Noya. Asahi was starting to get the hang of his jump serve and Noya was happy to try and receive it. It was more like actually receiving it so that Asahi didn’t have to go and retrieve the ball the times it made it to the other side. These occasions were full of compliments every time he made a really good one, and basically just Noya cheering him on in his own weird way. 

It also ended up in them talking casually after dinner, when the other guys were still stuffing their faces and their room was empty. Tanaka had teased Noya about ditching food for a guy, and Asahi pretended that didn’t make him blush. 

“Asahi?” he asked one time, playing with a strand of his freshly washed hair. He had to admit that seeing Noya like that made his heart beat faster, wearing pajamas and his skin all nice with the glow of the shower. 

“Yeah?” he was sitting on his futon; his long hair was down and cascading down his shoulders. Noya hesitated about making the question, and switched to playing with a strand of Asahi’s hair instead. He didn’t mind, and Noya had complemented his hair before and he liked the feeling of his hands on it. 

“Have you ever been in love?” 

Well, say goodbye to Asahi’s chill night. He stuttered over his words and his face lit up with a hot blush, trying to get some words out but failing miserably. Noya chuckled awkwardly, let go of his hair and said: 

“Never mind, forget I said anything.” 

“No no no! It just caught me a bit out of guard.” He excused himself and tried to smile. He wanted to be able to talk to Noya about everything, and that meant talking about stuff that only came up in solemn late nights. Things like being in love. “Um… I mean, ‘love’ is a pretty big word. I-I… I’ve never had like a… girlfriend before if that’s what you mean. Pretty lame, I know.” 

“Pffft, not at all. I’ve never had one either, even though I’m always going on about pretty girls with Tanaka.” He said, settling down. The atmosphere was comfortable again. “I asked because… well… I’ve never felt something such as love, ever. And it makes me curious.” 

“Maybe you could ask Daichi, with all his hopeless pining.” He said, indirectly steering the conversation away from himself. 

“Yeah! What’s up with that? How come you haven’t forced him to ask Suga out already?” he said, poking his side. 

“You know I’m not good at forcing people to do anything.” He laughed, returning the favor. 

“But I can’t really blame him. I couldn’t go up to a guy and just… I mean, with girls you might get slapped and rejected but that’s about it. Guys kinda scared me, and yet…” 

Apart from the odd turn the conversation took, his brain trying to process what Noya’s words meant; Asahi noticed there was something in his eyes, his eyebrows were creased with conflict and he was looking elsewhere. 

“Noya?” he whispered, and actually had to stop himself from placing his hand over his. Noya had never openly admitted his weaknesses, he was always trying to be better in a ridiculously optimistically way and never seemed to be down. Now however he was pretty silent. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“… I’m afraid you’ll judge me.” He admitted, curling up and making himself smaller. Asahi always had to watch himself to not come off as intimidating, so he slid backwards a little bit to give Noya some space. 

“I would never judge you, Noya.” He told him, and conveyed all of his honestly. 

“I’m…” he started, but bit his tongue and rubbed at his eyes, frustrated. 

“Whatever it is, I won’t look at you differently.” Asahi said. “You’ll always be Noya, our team’s amazing libero and… my friend.” 

“I’m bi.” He spat out almost angrily. “And it scares me.” 

“I’m gay.” He answered on pure instinct. “And it scares me too.” 

There was a moment of silence, their hearts stripped in front of the other and eyes locked. Asahi felt his heart clench at the sight of those beautiful eyes clouded with the same shame he had felt when he looked at himself in the mirror. He hated that Noya felt that awful emptiness in the pit of the stomach realizing you’re different. He also felt slightly proud of him, because he had blurted it out and with that thrown himself into a completely unknown scenario, taking a leap of faith like that wasn’t easy, he should know. It was Noya the first to break the silence with a nervous chuckle, and Asahi was sure to comfort him with a smile. 

“Honestly.” He breathed out. “That looked much, much worse in my head.” 

“Welcome to my world.” He joked, and Noya actually laughed. Not his usual, obnoxious laugh but a quiet one, one that had his eyes closed in delight. 

“You’re a peculiar case, Azumane Asahi.” He told him, punching him lightly on the shoulder. 

“You’re an amazing case, Nishinoya Yuu.” He smiled, and tried to hide the fact that his stomach twisted, wondering if he had gone too far. However Noya took it the best way, although he did blush slightly. 

“We should sleep; the other guys should be arriving soon. And well, chaos will ensue.” He commented, getting under his blankets. He stared at his hands for a bit, and then said. “Don’t tell anyone about me, please.” 

“Same here.” He answered, and got into his mattress. He felt like his secret was safe. “Goodnight Noya.” 

“Goodnight Asahi.” 

.

Daichi wasn’t a heavy sleeper. He would wake up with the faintest sound, which posed the biggest goddamn problem in the training camp. His teammates simply would not shut up and it was getting to his nerves. To top it all, they all thought it was hilarious to make him angry, and were willing to put up with his “punishments” that just kept getting more and more creative. What was worst was that Suga, the vice-captain, the person who was supposed to help him keep order and lead the team, had sided with the lousy first years and the energetic second years to bother him into madness. The guy was just taking advantage of the fact that Daichi couldn’t stay mad at him for more than an hour. 

He was already stressed enough, Hinata and Kageyama had pulled a stunt a few days ago, and they still refused to tell him what they had done. He just hoped they hadn’t broken anything. 

“Wake me up.” Noya had started, when the lights were off and Daichi had believed for a wild second that there would be no shenanigans that night. 

“Wake me up inside.” Tanaka answered, out of tune and trying to hold his laughter. 

“I can’t wake up.” Asahi chimed in, much to his own surprise. 

“Save meeeee” Suga sang dramatically, and Daichi just accepted his fate. 

Just like that what seemed to be the entire team was singing Evanescence with oddly coordinated voices. Daichi even thought that they had practiced this beforehand. Even Kageyama had sung his lines reluctantly. Despite the fact that he couldn’t sleep the amount of hours he would like to, the team’s antics still put a smile on his face that he would never admit to. It made him feel a weird pressure on his chest, knowing this was his last year with them. What also scared him a lot was his own future, what to do after high school was every third year’s nightmare made real, but for Daichi there was something else in the pile. 

He had grown so accustomed to having Suga around every other second of every day, that suddenly changing was a terrifying idea to even consider. He knew Suga planned to go to college, not knowing what for yet, but he really seemed to like the idea of moving out of his house and into a dorm room to study something he liked. Daichi hadn’t given it much thought (much to his advisor’s concern) but he knew Suga was leaving. And it would be incredibly selfish and straight up horrible to ask him not to, and all because he feared he wouldn’t be able to live without him? What kind of bullshit excuse was that? 

He knew their futures may not be together, and that made moments like this even more special but also really fleeting. 

“Can you stop thinking and sleep?” Suga said. His eyes were closed but he was clearly wide awake. Daichi knew he didn’t really sleep much. Their futons were practically pushed together, but that wasn’t weird, right? 

“Are you still gonna play volleyball in college?” he asked. Smooth, Daichi, really smooth. 

“Are you thinking about that again?” he asked. Of course he could tell he had a bad case of future anxiety. “Relax, we’ll figure college out in due time. It’s like you’re already done with the team and looking for a new one.” 

“I’m not!” he exclaimed, and Suga giggled. He had always known the ways around him. 

“Then don’t worry.” He stated simply. Then opened his eyes suspiciously. “Unless it’s something else that’s bothering you.” 

“Goddammit…” he cursed, throwing an arm over his eyes. Now he couldn’t just lie, he would see right through him. Suga noticed his frustration and scooted closer, looking at him with those big brown eyes that made Daichi feel like there wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed. He had to have imagined Suga glancing down to his lips for just a second. He was compelled to be honest and vulnerable with him, now that they were lying on the same futon in the silence of the night. 

“What is it?” he insisted, pressing between Daichi’s eyebrows to erase his frown. 

“I’m afraid I’ll lose you, after all this.” He said, not able to look at him directly. 

“Dai…” he sighed, lightly tracing his cheek with just his fingertips. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m gonna be bothering you for a long time. You’re… more than I could ever ask for in a friend, don’t think I’m gonna leave you. Don’t worry about that kind of nonsense, okay?” 

“Okay” he agreed, feeling slightly better. He closed his eyes and noticed Suga didn’t move back to his own futon, and was secretly grateful for it. 

.

Noya had always been an early riser. Ever since they came to the training camp he had been the first one to be up and about every single day. That particular morning, he found his captain and vice-captain sleeping soundly like any other day, only that now Suga’s head had found a very comfortable place in Daichi’s shoulder. And who needed a blanket when the two had their arms wrapped around each other and their legs intertwined. Noya smiled at the image. They looked so peaceful, like it was only natural to sleep together like that. He instinctively glanced at the human burrito that was Azumane Asahi, and wondered how the guy didn’t suffocate with his own hair. He also wondered if _he_ could suffocate in the same way but actively ignored the fact that that thought crossed his mind. 

.

Training camp was really exciting. Who wouldn’t be excited when they got to play set after set after set against the best schools in Tokyo? Training camp was also hard. One, because of all the losing they did; which accounted for penalties that were now so engraved in their brains that even with the rare occurrence of a win, they found themselves lining up to do a lap of dives of a running up the hill. It was practically muscle memory at that point. And two, despite Kageyama’s innate and almost superhuman abilities for volleyball, he was awful at striking normal conversations, even if they were volleyball-related. 

The act of getting in-game experience was a huge plus, but what also had his mind running in excited circles was the opportunity to learn from setters that were much older than him and were talented in their own ways. He had tried to talk to Kenma; Nekoma’s setter, ever since their practice matches because he just _needed_ to know how he could have not only a perfect poker face, but also… poker moves. Kageyama’s actions were read quite often if the other team had a sharp-minded player, which led to very annoying blockers getting in his spikers’ way. Kenma didn’t have that kind of problem. Since Hinata was such good friends with him, he figured it would make it easier for him, but that wasn’t the case. 

Nekoma’s setter wasn’t the only one Kageyama was failing at getting lessons from. Ever since their very first set against Fukurodani, Kageyama had been dying to talk to their setter. There was just something so slick about his plays that he wanted to incorporate into his, but he just couldn’t approach him. He had just resorted to staring like a creep and trying to mimic his techniques, kind of like he did with Oikawa. It wasn’t the most effective way of learning but hey, he had learned his jump serve just from watching Oikawa so he could definitely do the same with some of “Akaashi’s” tricks. 

Even though Kageyama was focused on his own growth, he was quite pleased with the development of his teammates as well. He felt somewhat flustered and excited when Asahi came to him and nervously asked him to teach him how to jump serve. The process had been slightly awkward; with Kageyama not knowing how to express his directions and Asahi looking like he feared for his life every time he failed to get the ball over the net. However during one set, when it was Asahi’s turn to serve and he did it so well the other team didn’t even stand a chance to save it, Kageyama found himself letting out a very audible “yes!” in the middle of the court. His other teammates stared as if he had grown another head but Asahi beamed, so it wasn’t actually that bad if he ignored Hinata pestering him for blushing. 

Tanaka also insisted on practicing the straight shots he wasn’t able to do, and although he failed in many ways, losing points in many sets, he could get one through once in a while. He had to give it to him, Kageyama couldn’t really teach him and the other teams were a little wary of Tanaka because of his… eccentric personality; so through trial and error he managed to teach himself how to spike straights. Those rare instances made Kageyama feel a weird sense of pride. 

Tsukkishima was another story. He and Kageyama didn’t have the best of relationships, and sparks would fly between them each time he set to him. Being the freakishly tall guy he was, Kageyama _knew_ he could be a powerful spiker, even able to get it over the blocks, but it was almost like the guy refused to jump. Tsukkishima had gotten used to jumping on his own accord, knowing Kageyama would match him if he thought it was the best option. So, for once, Kageyama started setting the ball in his direction when he wanted to, forcing the other guy to spike it. And wouldn’t you know, the higher Kageyama set the ball, the higher Tsukkishima would reach. It got so ridiculous that once he set it so high up that it flew way past everyone’s heads and got out. Still, the middle blocker tried to get it and failed by a lot. Like that, Kageyama calculated Tsukkishima’s highest point and only set the ball that way. Of course that only worsen the hate they had for each other, but Kageyama didn’t care. 

And then, there was Hinata. Oh Hinata, the sunshine child that could make Kageyama’s heart beat faster with only a smile, could also make him want to punch him. 

“I said first tempo not minus tempo!” Kageyama exclaimed when Hinata jumped completely out of synch in one of their extra practices. 

“You act like I know what that means!” he answered. Although he had already retrieved the ball, they just wouldn’t move on. 

“I taught you yesterday!” he said, growing more and more frustrated. “And the day before that!” 

Hinata didn’t answer him; he just murmured something under his breath. 

“Why are you so goddamn bitter all the time?” he asked, tossing him the ball and going back to his run-up position. 

“Concentrate, dumbass.” He called, but Hinata had crossed his arms over his chest and was pouting like a little kid. 

“Be nicer to me.” He said, looking away. 

“God, what are you on about?” he wondered, but he couldn’t deny that those words made him slightly worried. He would be thinking about them in bed for sure. “You want to practice or not?” 

“You want to practice or not?” he said with a very bad imitation of his voice. He even pushed his hair down with his hands and frowned. “Hi I’m Kageyama and I’m so emo I hate the sun.” 

Kageyama stood there, shocked into silence. What was going on with him honestly? He thought Hinata was content with just mindlessly doing spike practice, but apparently he just wanted to piss him off. And even though the mature thing to do was talk things out so they could continue, Kageyama buried his hands in his own hair and pushed it up, mocking Hinata’s messy hairstyle. 

Two could play that game. 

“Hi I’m Hinata and I can’t play a match without throwing up.” He said, also failing at imitating his voice. 

“Hi I’m Kageyama and I wished I could toss, spike and receive all by myself.” Hinata answered, glaring at him. 

Low blow. Kageyama tried his best not to let it show and instead thought up the meanest thing he could say in response. 

“Hi I’m Hinata and I still don’t know how to serve.” 

“OH MY GOD, MEAN.” Hinata shouted. People were staring at this point. “TAKE THAT BACK.” 

“THEN LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SERVE.” He answered, too carried away to control himself. They were fighting, but not really, and some obscure part of Kageyama loved bickering like that. 

“WELL IF YOU’RE SO GOOD THEN TEACH ME.” Was that a challenge? Was he challenging him? Because teaching Hinata anything was a nightmare. Despite that, he could see in his amber eyes that he wasn’t really offended, and was biting back out of pure habit. Maybe also out of amusement. 

“WELL MAYBE I WILL.” He exclaimed, and made his way to Hinata with loud steps. He knew Hinata hadn’t considered him actually doing this and he was caught so out of guard it was funny to see the look on his face. He was completely frozen when Kageyama stood behind him and placed his palm under his hand, making him hold the ball. He leaned over his shoulder and whispered in his ear. “First, you hold it like this, and then…”

“okay okay okay okay stop!” he giggled, wiggling out of Kageyama’s grasp. He smirked evilly when he saw him blush violently. _How cute_ he thought. “Let’s just keep going.” 

“As you wish.” He said, victorious. 

“Kageyama…” he called, wrapping his arms around himself and looking away. “Explain the tempos again?” 

Kageyama sighed. How could he say no to him? Putting aside all their playful insults, the light-hearted rants, the truth was that the little guy had him wrapped around his finger. 

“Alright.” He complied, and refused to accept that the little smile that played on Hinata’s lips made his heart jump. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey~  
I know I usually post on sundays, but seeing so many of you guys saying how much you love the story I just couldnt resist and I wanted to give you more right now :D  
know that I do read all your comments, I have notifications for them (I just dont "reply" because I dont want it to get cramped) and the one on the last chapter, yeah that big one I see you, legit made me tear up. I... literally cannot find the right words to say how much all the support means to me, how I've found strength in the little messages, it makes this whole thing not only about writing a story about fictional characters, but something else for me, something more.  
I dont mean to get sappy Im just incredibly grateful for every single one of you <3  
(maybe if I have some extra time I'll post another chapter sunday or monday, just knowing that it makes you guys happy makes the effort completely worth it)  
Love you tons, have a great day :')


	16. This NEVER happened

Training camp seemed to just keep going, and Hinata wanted it to go on forever. It was his dream come true, no classes, just volleyball. That, and getting in trouble with Kageyama. He didn’t quite know what it was, just that urge to do something stupid and potentially dangerous. Kageyama didn’t seem to have the same feeling, but he could be convinced very easily, so much so that Hinata suspected that he wanted to accompany him even if he complained about it. 

Their latest adventure had gone about without a hitch, and Hinata had gotten so much more than just the kick out of it. Not in a million years would he have thought that breaking into an official gymnasium would evoke such honesty in his partner. If Hinata had any doubts about how Kageyama really felt about him, after the literal promise to continue playing by his side until they reached the top, all of them were gone. They hadn’t really addressed it after they came back to camp, but it was an unspoken bond that Hinata could definitely feel. Even if, as of now, they continued to lose mercilessly. 

Hinata made up for the lack of wins with basically collecting friends from all the other teams. He found other first years that were just as excitable as him, and team captains that ruffled his hair and were amused by his determination. He even managed to get a few tricks from Bokuto-san, and did Kageyama a favor by introducing him to Akaashi. 

Since he spent quite an amount of time with Kenma, Hinata inevitably met with their captain Kuroo. He was a slick-looking individual that emanated a great chaotic force and Hinata was equally weary as he was impressed by him, even if Kenma insisted he was a dork. Kuroo took to like Hinata and his energy, which earned him a few of the classic Kageyama glares, which he didn’t even notice. 

Speaking of Kageyama, he had resigned to his fate of being dragged around by an orange-haired child. Of course he would argue and play difficult whenever Hinata proposed yet another one of his mayhem-producing plans (because he had a reputation goddamn it) but he would eventually end up wrapped up in a mess. He didn’t think it was bad, half the time they did this kind of stuff it was during their breaks, so they didn’t lose any practice time. As long as his performance wasn’t affected, it was fine. 

He did know it was too much to ask for when he was lying on his futon facing the ceiling with his eyes closed in exasperation, as Hinata babbled endlessly about lollipops. He had overdone it that day, he just wanted to sleep. 

“Kuroo said that they have magic popsicles. That they give you good luck and that’s why Nekoma has made it to nationals so many times.” Hinata was saying, lying on his belly and tugging at a strand of his hair. 

“Nekoma has made it into nationals so many times because they’re a good team. There’s no such thing as good luck charms.” He answered, swatting his hand away. 

“Every time they win they have the popsicles beforehand! Can you really call that a coincidence? Kageyama we have to get them!!!” 

“Shut up, dumbass!” he whisper-shouted when Hinata got too carried away and started speaking in his normal squeaky voice. It was still the middle of the night. “Not saying that we’re going to, but how would we even get them?” 

“They’re locked in the freezer of the main cafeteria. We can sneak around and get them!” 

Kageyama couldn’t care any less about those treats. But it was the way Hinata was looking at him that cracked the ice around his heart. He just couldn’t resist those pretty eyes that were still so full of wonder despite every difficulty he had to go through. Kageyama was grateful that his harsh words when they first met hadn’t dulled the flame that was Hinata’s whole self. It was a flame that kept him warm, that provided him that much needed protection, and with him he felt like he didn’t have to put up his usual frown to appear stronger. With that came the fact that he just had to indulge in whatever Hinata wanted to do, including going out to steal in the middle of the night. Honestly, you wouldn’t think someone like him had such thirst for doing illegal things, but there they were. 

“If we go and take a look, will you shut up?” he asked, already resigning. Hinata nodded excitedly and almost clapped in full volume had Kageyama not shoved his hands away. Feeling every one of his muscles burn in protest when he stood up, they both tip-toed across the room, Kageyama paying special attention to his teammates’ breathing. They all seemed to be asleep, so they sneaked out of the room, closing the door softly. They found themselves in the empty hallway in complete darkness, feeling like even their breaths were too much of a noise. 

Even if Hinata was a trouble-maker, he was oddly careful not to get caught. Kageyama thought that maybe, just maybe he should put as much effort in his volleyball skills. Using his phone’s flashlight they made their way through the hall, cringing every time a floorboard creaked. 

“Did you hear that?” Kageyama asked, not realizing he was all tense, giving Hinata the perfect opportunity to mock him. 

“You scared, Bakayama?” he laughed, making ghost-like sounds to the not very impressed setter. 

“Shut up dumbass!” he whisper-shouted, pulling Hinata closer to him by the sleeve. He was about to protest but was render speechless by being squished against Kageyama’s chest. “There are more footsteps.” 

They stood there in silence, listening carefully. For a moment there was only silence, and Hinata was going to make a fuss and push him away, but a second later Kageyama let out a blood curdling scream that made him clutch his shirt tightly, thinking something horrible had happened. 

“SHHHH oh my God HAHAHAHA” they heard a familiar voice say, suffocated by uncontrollable laughter. “Oh man, I’m so s-sorry.” 

“Who the hell are you???” Kageyama asked, putting space between the guy and them, still not letting go of Hinata. Between Tobio’s arms he could see a short guy with a tuff of blonde hair…

“What do you mean? Did I scare the memory out of you?” the guy said, crossing his arms. Even in the darkness Hinata recognized the sharp cat eyes. 

“Noya?” he whispered, and then processed what was happening and wiggled his away out of Kageyama’s grasp, blushing violently. He tried to forget the fact that while they were pressed together, Kageyama’s heart was beating a million times an hour and he could feel it through his shirt. 

“I thought it would be funny to follow you when you went out and give you a little scare. Now you might have scared the hell out of everybody in this building. I bet now they think there’s like a crying ghost around.” He said, still laughing about his little prank

“…You’re shorter…” Kageyama simply stated. Noya rolled his eyes and huffed

“My hair is down, give me a break.” He answered, ruffling slightly. “What are you guys doing up?” 

“Looking for the magic popsicles!” Hinata answered, jumping on his heels with a glint of malice in his eyes. 

“Oh my God I want them too!” Noya said, imitating Hinata’s enthusiasm and all Kageyama could think was _my God, now there are two of them_. He was just starting to calm down from the scare that had almost stopped his heart. Kageyama wasn’t a very big fan of creepy school buildings in the middle of the night. 

“We can look together, right Kageyama?” Hinata said, not really meaning it as a question. And just like that now there were two other people on Hinata’s search party for some popsicles that Kageyama didn’t even believe had magical properties. When they finally reached the cafeteria, Kageyama felt a weird chill down his spine and wrapped his arms around himself. Hinata had stopped mocking him and instead figured that the best way to comfort his partner was walk alongside him, making their shoulders touch. Weirdly enough, Kageyama felt a little bit calmer, just because he knew he wasn’t alone in the dark. 

Still, he jumped when a creak was heard, and once again he found himself looking back and suffocating a scream behind his hands. This time around, Hinata was the one that took hold of him and pulled him closer. He heard Hinata gasp loudly and back step, making them trip over their own limbs and fall to the floor. 

There was a tall figure looming over them, broad-shouldered and with long hair that hid its face. Only Noya seemed unfazed by the specter. 

“Jesus, Asahi.” He scoffed. “Stop going around with your hair like that, you look like a bigger scarier version of the girl from the ring.” 

Kageyama let out a big sigh and shoved Hinata off of him and he did the same, because the only acceptable situation to cling onto each other was when they feared for their life and nothing else. 

“What are you doing here?” Hinata asked, dusting himself and standing up like nothing had happened. Kageyama noticed there was a slight blush on his cheeks. 

“You went out and didn’t come back, Noya.” Asahi answered, actually pulling his hair behind his ears and revealing his gentle face. “I figured you had gotten lost and came out to find you.” 

“…You noticed I was gone?” Noya murmured, more to himself since Asahi didn’t hear him. The taller guy shrugged and rubbed at the back of his neck, looking away. They stared at each other for what felt like a really long time, a look that held some meaning that neither one of the other boys could understand. Hinata and Kageyama stared at each other with a question in their eyes, wondering what was going on between their senpais. 

“Umm…” Hinata said, trying to break the tension. “Well you can help us find the magic popsicles too, Asahi-san!” 

“The magic what?” he asked, looking at Noya for guidance but only finding a mischievous grin. 

.

Asahi had noticed Noya leaving the room, and when time passed and he didn’t come back, he had debated going after him for quite a while. Maybe he was exaggerating, and he was just going to the bathroom, but what if he wasn’t? What if something had happened? An accident? Nobody would find him until morning. But what if he was sneaking out to meet someone? (That one alarmed him more than Noya slipping and knocking himself unconscious somehow, for some totally unknown reason) Asahi wouldn’t want to be caught in the middle of something secret. After a couple minutes of tossing around and running terribly morbid scenarios in his head, he decided to get up and go after him. 

He didn’t exactly know what he had expected, but it was definitely not getting involved in some kind of late-night robbery. His inability to say no had gotten him into some pretty awkward situations, but never into doing something illegal! 

“I can’t believe you convinced me of this.” Asahi told Noya, which only earned him a little laugh. 

“Same.” Kageyama said, looking completely done with life. 

Noya and Hinata had easily jumped over the counter in the cafeteria, Kageyama and Asahi had more of a hard time getting over the rail with their long bodies, but eventually they found themselves in the back of the kitchen. 

“Look! They must be in there!” Noya said, pointing at a small fridge in the corner of the room. The four teammates got closer to it, Asahi tripping over and making all kinds of pots and pans fall. The noise they made resembled an explosion and it was definitely enough for anyone to notice something was wrong in the building. When Asahi started apologizing under his breath, they all shushed him and continued on, but he could tell that now they were nervously looking around as if they expected the lights to suddenly turn on and catch them like a child with their hand in the cookie jar. Or in this case, the popsicles. 

“Dammit, it’s locked!” Hinata said, disappointed. The fridge had small metal plates sticking out to hook a lock on, which Asahi found extremely weird. Why would they lock a fridge? And then he realized: to stop people from doing exactly what they were doing. 

“Well that’s a shame.” Kageyama said, not sounding at all sad about it. “We should go back to our room before anyone notices four of us are missing.” 

“Noooooo we came all the way here!” he complained, shaking Kageyama’s arm and pouting. “We can’t leave now!” 

“And what do you suggest we do?” he asked, snatching his hand away from Hinata’s grasp. Noya had been staring at the lock with a thoughtful face, frowning slightly in concentration. 

“We could bust the lock.” He suggested, as if it was the most normal thing to consider. 

“And have it be broken in the morning for everyone to find???” Asahi questioned, placing a firm hand on Noya’s shoulder, shaking him. “Guys no we can’t do that!” 

“I mean.” Hinata murmured, and Kageyama dreadfully knew he was actually considering it. “Nobody would know it was us so like…”

“Noooo guys, stop!” Asahi cried, seeing the two guys discussing something as extreme as breaking things to get what they wanted. Was it really that important?! “Daichi will get mad!” 

“Daichi is always mad!” Noya said, waving him off. 

“Oh my God.” Kageyama sighed. He was tired, he wanted to go back to bed but these goddamn idiots just wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t care any less for popsicles, he just wanted this to be over and he knew there was no way he was convincing both Hinata _and_ Noya to drop it. So he started thinking. “Don’t you know how to pick locks, dumbass?” 

“Wait, you can pick locks??” Noya exclaimed, his eyes shining. Asahi had gone pale. 

“Umm… I umm…. Yeah kinda.” he said, giving Kageyama a death glare because he wasn’t supposed to go telling everyone that he could do that. 

“Dude that’s so cool!” Noya said, smirking devilishly at him. “You gotta teach me sometime!” 

“Noya!” Asahi scolded him. This was getting to be too much for him. Not good for his blood pressure. 

“Relax, Asahi.” He answered, way too carefree for someone who was technically trespassing. “Can you get this thing open?” 

“I don’t have my clippers on me.” He answered, frowning. “There must be another way.” 

“Actually, there is.” Noya said, looking like a lightbulb had lit over his head. He opened the cabinet doors under the sink and shone his phone’s flashlight around the dusty space. “There’s usually a toolbox under here in case a pipe needs to be fixed. We could get something to bust that thing open.” 

Asahi really wanted Noya to be wrong, but then he came out with a pair of pliers in his hand and a victorious smirk. Hinata looked extremely pleased. The lock was pretty tiny, but still Noya strained and huffed trying to close the pliers around it. Hinata also gave it a try but there was no result. Kageyama came a little closer, making the metal screech slightly but they still couldn’t fully take the lock off. 

“Asahi, you do it.” Noya said, handing him the menacing tool. “I’m sure you can.” 

“I-I-I-I don’t, I don’t know Noya…” he stuttered over his words, not wanting to get in trouble for breaking a lock in a different school. 

“Yeah! You’re super strong!” Hinata cheered him on. 

“Please?” Kageyama said. Asahi took pity on the guy, his eyes said _please just humor these idiots so we can go back to sleep. _

And so Azumane Asahi took a pair of pliers and broke a fridge’s lock just so that his teammates could get treats. What was his life. As soon as they could get the fridge door open, both Hinata and Noya shoved their faces inside and awed at their treasure. Kageyama looked mildly relieved and Asahi just wanted this to be over. 

“Stand guard guys, Noya and I got this.” Hinata said, turning his back on the two other boys. Kageyama and Asahi didn’t really talk much outside of practice, but in that moment they shared a look of sympathy over being dragged around by shorties they couldn’t say no to. 

“They look so tasty!” Noya said, his mouth watering at the sight. There was indeed a whole stash of bright red popsicles, neatly wrapped and looking like they hadn’t been touched. Hinata was the first to take one, holding it in his hands and examining it as if he could see the magic properties behind them. He started to wonder how they would take them back with them, they would surely melt if they took them on the long bus ride, and they couldn’t just eat them now, that would be a waste…

“…guys…” Kageyama whispered, his voice sounding slightly alarmed. 

“Not now Kageyama, I’m trying to think.” Hinata answered out of pure habit, not noticing how the air had changed around them. He noticed Noya had gone completely still, and that’s when the menacing voice reached his ears. 

“What. Are you guys. Doing.” Daichi said, standing at the other side of the counter, looking like he was about to murder someone. He probably was, Asahi personally feared for his life. They all stared back at their captain like deer in headlights, not knowing what to do but expecting the worst. 

“Oh, you guys are the worst look out.” Noya whispered, huffing in exasperation and giving Asahi a sharp look. 

“Shut up Noya.” Asahi answered sharply, and the libero only looked away. He knew that kind of response was induced by panic. His intention was never to get Asahi into trouble, he could only imagine what must be going through his mind right now. Probably sirens and regretting the fact that with 18 years of age he hadn’t already written his will. 

“Are you stealing? In the middle of the night?” he questioned, and none of them answered. Kageyama didn’t like the way Daichi seemed to be calm but his eyes flared a deep desire for murder. He didn’t like it one bit. “So these people are kind enough to accommodate us… AND YOU’RE STEALING FROM THEM.” 

There it was. Hinata was biting his lip and inching closer to try and hide behind Kageyama, who wasn’t letting him drag him into any more trouble ever again. Noya was staring at his slippers and Asahi was trying to shield himself with his hair. Daichi was fuming and apparently not minding being loud. 

“We just wanted the magic popsicles!” Hinata argued, pouting and making innocent eyes. Unfortunately, that kind of trick only worked on Suga, so it didn’t make the situation any better. 

“And they just wouldn’t give them to us!” Noya joined in. “What other choice did we have?” 

“I can’t believe this.” Daichi almost laughed, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the short ends of it, a look of hysteria setting in his eyes. “I can’t believe this from you Asahi, what the fuck man!?” 

“He coaxed me into it!” Asahi exclaimed, pointing at Noya who made the most indignant sound a human could make. 

“YOU’RE A THIRD YEAR.” The captain shouted, gaping at his friend. 

“I WAS UNDER PRESSURE.” Asahi cried. 

“STOP SHOUTING YOU’RE GONNA WAKE SOMEONE.” Noya chimed in, and Kageyama had actually placed his hands over his ears. He wouldn’t be surprised if someone else appeared just to see what the hell was going on in the kitchen. 

“I can’t fucking believe this.” Daichi repeated, all while climbing in with them and taking the broken lock, finding the nearest window and just throwing it away as if it was a baseball. The four other guys stared at their captain, dumb folded but ultimately realizing that even if he wanted to stab them to death, he was still helping them out of this mess. 

“This never happened.” He threatened them, and then herd them like a bunch of sheep, and Noya was a particularly stubborn one. 

“Can we at least take one…?” he begged, but Daichi stared him down until he stopped getting funny ideas. Hinata and Kageyama were following them in silence, still walking unnecessarily close to each other as if they needed the comfort in case something else happened. Asahi and Noya on the other hand were avoiding each other’s eyes, Noya was awfully silent and Asahi seemed pissed. 

Daichi watched the four of them walk into the room and into their respective futons, he slid the door closed and breathed out a huge sigh, rubbing at his temples. He just prayed that everything would be okay in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again guys!  
hope you're all doing good :)  
Here's another chapter filled with our naughty kids. Honestly I'm having way too much fun with this training camp "arc", and I'm glad you guys seem to like it too <3  
love you all and thanks again for all the support! :'D


	17. I sure hope so

The news spread like wildfire the next day. Suddenly, everyone is talking about the freezer thief in hushed voices. Daichi is trying to actively ignore all the talking because he knows he is incredibly bad at hiding information, and he doesn’t want the team to be kicked out of the training camp just because some of the members decided that stealing popsicles in the middle of the night was a good idea. When the director spoke to all of them in the gym, Daichi thought it was over and somehow, he already knew. What if there were cameras? He didn’t know that. Much to his own relief, the principal was rather cool about it given nothing was stolen, the lock was just missing. So, they hadn’t found it yet, which was good? It wasn’t like they were going to trace his fingerprints or something crazy like that, right? In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t such a big deal. 

The cafeteria was lacking in the usual uproar of voices, everyone was leaning in and whispering to each other, wondering just who the “thief” was. There were people theorizing about the whole event, piecing together information about each team and coming up with who was crazy enough to pull a stunt like that. 

“What if it was Nekoma?” “They’re the ones that get the popsicles, it wouldn’t make sense for them to try to steal them.” “That’s what they want you to think.” “My bet is on that Bokuto guy, he seems like the type who’d do that.” “Dude, too obvious. It’s always who you least expect. The underdog.” “So are you saying Karasuno did it?” “It’s just a theory!” 

The involved were awfully silent, which made it all more suspicious. Noya wasn’t the type of person to ever shut up. 

“Dude that’s so cool!” Tanaka was saying, a little too excited about it. “Sneaking out of the room at night to steal treats, that’s what I call an adventure.” 

“Just don’t.” Daichi said, mentally tired. Suga chuckled at his antics. 

“It’s actually not that serious, right?” Tsukkishima said, nonchalant. Daichi was surprised he was even saying anything. “They didn’t actually take anything, just got rid of the lock.” 

“Which makes it all weirder!” Tanaka continued. “If you got the thing open then why not finish the job and take the loot?” 

“Maybe they were stopped by someone?” Suga suggested, and Daichi’s throat tightened. “Someone who is keeping the secret?” 

And lunch passed with them all discussing it, and Noya actually put up a good front and started pitching crazy ideas like he usually would. When they went back to practice and they were resting for their next set, Daichi noticed that Kuroo was glancing at them a whole lot, trying to get Hinata’s attention, smirking to himself with half-lidded eyes. 

“Does he know.” Daichi asked, barely even a whisper, not even looking at Hinata. 

“He kinda told us about it.” He answered, sounding guilty. 

“Oh my God.” He murmured to himself. Two days, he just needed to keep the secret from spilling for two more days and then hopefully everyone would forget about it. He was sure there were a lot of crazy stories in training camps, so this just needed to be another one of those. Just a story. 

.

As much as Suga loved being around his team, he also appreciated the peace and quiet he got when everyone else was out of the room and he was the only one there. He was sitting cross-legged on his futon, (or was it Daichi’s? he was sure he had sleep on both at some point so did it really matter?) drying his hair with a towel and feeling his muscles finally relax. It had been really tough, Suga knew he was nowhere near a star player, and he could see how it was slightly more difficult for him to keep up. Maybe he wasn’t really cut for this. Maybe he should let Kageyama take over completely. 

He shook his head. That wasn’t like him, thinking that kind of stuff. Maybe he was just tired and it was getting to his head. Before he could continue having a crisis, the door slid open and much to his delight it was Daichi. He was also already wearing his loose pajamas, and Suga was 99% sure the shirt was his. He didn’t mention it, he had some of Daichi’s clothes in his closet as well, things that ended up swapped during sleepovers and that they never really bothered asking them back. 

His best friend sat next to him with a soft thud and a smile. Daichi also appreciated the fleeting moments of silence they had had this past week. 

“You tired?” he asked, stretching his arms over his head. 

“Down to the bone.” He replied, rolling his shoulders and wincing slightly. 

“You’re getting old, Sugawara.” He joked. “Your hair is already grey.” 

“My hair is platinum, thank you very much.” He jabbed back, forgetting about his internal turmoil for a few seconds. Daichi tended to have that effect on him. He noticed Daichi’s expression fall, he knew it had been hard on him as captain with so many losses and so many penalties. They both knew it was good for the team but… “you ready to go back to normal?” 

“Definitely.” He sighed in response. “A part of me wants to leave the energy balls here so they tire themselves out and then when they come back to practice they’re not so much trouble.” 

Suga laughed lively and didn’t see Daichi smiling fondly at him. The captain was itching to softly tug a loose strand of hair behind Suga’s ear, maybe linger slightly on his cheek, but instead he simply shook his head. Those thoughts were getting more and more frequent, filling his mind that was already crowded with worries. 

“However.” He continued “I think we’ve all learned so much. That move you do with Kageyama, I think it’s amazing.” 

“The double setter thing?” he grinned, and that particular spark in his eyes returned. “Yeah, who knew Karasuno could be coordinated enough to pull off that attack.” 

“I feel happy, Suga.” Daichi whispered, as if he was afraid to break the silence of the room. Suga smiled brightly at him, and actually lifted a hand to caress his hair affectionally. Daichi melted into his touch, subconsciously leaning against his palm, and he was glad to know that touching each other like that didn’t feel weird. Suga knew Daichi was having a hard time ever since he became captain, even if he had been carrying the team since their second year playing. Him saying that he was happy filled his chest with a fuzzy feeling. “But also a bit sad that we won’t get to have another training camp like this.” 

Oh, the curse of being a third year. Nothing could be casual, everything was a last time. Their last training camp, their last tournament, eventually it would be their last practice and their last set. There was no looking forward to the next adventure, no drive to do better next time when they failed. There was no next time. 

“Noya and Tanaka would have to tell us all about it.” Suga said, trying to lift the mood. “Tell us if they eventually find who the freezer thief is.” 

Daichi’s mind started blaring alarms, because he _knew_ that if the conversation took that road then Suga would definitely get the truth out of him. 

“I don’t think they will.” He tried to play it cool. “It was a pretty spotless crime.” 

“It’s just so intriguing!” Suga continued, and if Daichi hadn’t just showered he would be sweating nervously. “Like somebody actually snuck in the middle of the night to-”

Suga had been looking elsewhere, gesticulating excitedly with his hands but then he turned to face Daichi and cut himself abruptly. He stared into Daichi’s brown eyes and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Daichi instantly knew it was over. 

“Oh my God.” He murmured in disbelief. “It was us.” 

“Suga…” Daichi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, exasperated. 

“OH MY GOD DAICHI!” he exclaimed, his expression a mix of surprise, confusion and wonder. 

“It’s not a big deal!” he tried to get him to calm down, his nerves were on edge, what if someone entered the room that instant? 

“Why didn’t you tell me??” Suga accused him, poking his side. “You watched us all come up with crazy theories and just sat there in silence while you knew the truth!” 

“I was scared of someone finding out!” Daichi defended himself, swatting Suga’s prying hands away from his ticklish middle. “If the word spreads they’ll kick us out for sure!” 

“It was Hinata wasn’t he?” he continued, ignoring Daichi’s pleads to stop talking about the subject. In the end he gave up, he knew that Suga was a sucker for mysteries, and now he knew a very big secret so of course he was getting all the details he could. “That kid has been getting into some pretty hairy situations lately, it’s like he’s just itching to get in trouble. And if he did it then Kageyama was also involved because those two do everything together.” 

There was no point in fighting with him, so Daichi figured he might as well give Suga what he wanted. 

“And Noya.” He murmured, still paying close attention to the corridor in case someone made their way in. 

“Of course!” Suga exclaimed. “Noya loves popsicles!” 

“… and Asahi.” 

“Asahi???” Suga had buried his hands in his hair and looked like he was having the time of his life revealing all the hidden details of the new sensation amongst the teams. “Our Asahi??? Stealing???” 

“Noya roped him into it, it was all a mess.” Daichi admitted, placing his head in his hands. 

“I was right! Someone did stop them! You did!” he pointed an accusatory finger at him but Daichi had already given in. “Oh my Godddd.” Suga was laughing his ass out, holding his sides and actually tearing up slightly. 

“This isn’t funny, Koushi!” Daichi scolded him. 

“It kinda is, Dai.” He wheezed, and Daichi couldn’t be mad at him. “It’s actually the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

.

Kageyama was incredibly grateful that they had managed to escape the consequences of their actions. He knew right from the start that the whole popsicle heist thing was going to be a bust, and he still went on with it. Why? What happened to the reasonable, calculating Kageyama that didn’t take any risks? He told himself it was all Hinata’s fault for just assuming (and rightfully so) he would follow him everywhere no matter how stupid of a plan he had. Of course, Hinata was upset when they didn’t get the popsicles despite literally having them in his hands, but he forgot about it rather quickly. All the talk about the freezer thief had no effect on him, and Kageyama suspected it was because Hinata was one hell of a liar. 

Eventually, training camp was over and the team was standing in the parking lot waiting to get on the bus and ride home. Hinata was whining about it ending too fast, how he wished it could go on forever and ever and Kageyama was only half paying attention to what he was saying. He really didn’t want to go into how the training camp made him feel because that was a huge bundle of emotions that he didn’t know how to even start to untangle. For now he would just shove it under his mental rug for another time. A certain red spot caught his attention and before he knew it Kuroo was besides Hinata, towering over him and looking elsewhere. 

“Hey crows.” He said, still not looking at them. Somehow, he wasn’t really attracting any attention, mainly because there were so many of them in the parking lot that no one noticed the Nekoma captain that wasn’t supposed to be there. “Here’s a little token of appreciation.” 

Kageyama could barely tell that he had slipped Hinata something behind his back, almost as if he was awfully good at it. Hinata’s eyes shone, but he quickly placed the package inside his hoody. Kageyama could only see it was a brown paper bag. 

“It’s cold…” he murmured. “Are these…?!”

“Yeah, don’t make a fuss.” Kuroo replied before Hinata could lash out. “You didn’t get them from me.” 

“Why are you giving us this?” he asked, and the sound of the bus’ engine drowned his voice. 

“I really didn’t know you would try to steal them.” He answered, a slight smirk on his face. “I didn’t tell you so you would, half the time I don’t even know what I’m talking about. But this whole freezer thief thing has been the most fun I’ve had in a training camp, it even got Kenma to actively talk with the team. I love that it’s become a thing now among us, for that I gotta thank you.” 

“Isn’t that going to melt and make a mess?” Kageyama said, a little worried because he really didn’t like the idea of having to deal with sticky, sugary substances. 

“You know those ice packs you use for sore muscles? I shoved like five in there. It should keep it somewhat cold enough. What happens when you get back to your school is up to you.” 

“How did you get them anyway?” Hinata asked, squirming now from the cold package sitting against his stomach. 

“I know where they keep the keys.” He shrugged. “It’s not my first time grabbing a snack in the middle of the night, so I thought I’d complete the deed for you. Because you know, I’m always this kind.” 

“Thank you!” Hinata jumped on his heels and vowed slightly, before Kageyama grabbed his sleeve and pulled him along to get on the bus. Kuroo waved and started blending in with the remaining crowd. 

“You better use those popsicles to get to nationals.” He called. “or else I’m gonna be really disappointed.” 

“Don’t worry!” Hinata shouted at him, half his torso out the window. “We won’t let your effort go to waste!” 

He got pulled back inside by Kageyama, who was feeling like he was taking care of a toddler. Kuroo chuckled to himself. 

“I sure hope so, crows.” 

.

The bus is awfully silent on the way back. Everyone is either tired to the bone and just sitting there exhausted, or just straight up asleep. Suga feels every muscle in his body burn, he just wants to lay down on his bed and sleep for a month. Still, he wears a little smile on his face because he wouldn’t have imagined how fun it had been. It had felt like a really long sleepover with all his friends. 

Daichi wasn’t saying anything, but Suga could feel that he was relaxed and comfortable. He appreciated moments like that, when there was no tension in his shoulders and no frown on his face, he was simply content. They were sitting together, Suga’s head resting on the crook of Daichi’s neck and one of his legs was perched on his partner’s thigh. They had thrown on a blanket since it was starting to get cold, and Suga was secretly happy Daichi was so warm. He was also grateful that he didn’t have to place _that_ ankle on the floor. They were watching Netflix on Suga’s phone, sharing the headphones and enjoying each other’s company. 

“Suga?” Daichi said, breaking the silence. Suga noticed his tone and paused the show, straightening up a bit to look him in the eye. 

“Yeah? What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up with concern. Daichi simply placed a hand on his knee, and the touch sent little sparks up his spine. 

“When were you going to tell me about your ankle?” he questioned, not really accusatory but not entirely forgiving either. 

“W-… What?” he stuttered, panic setting into his stomach at the thought of being caught. He knew he couldn’t lie himself out of that one, and he wouldn’t lie to Daichi either way. He just didn’t expect to be confronted this soon, when he didn’t even know what to do about it himself. “What are you talking about?” 

“You’re limping slightly.” He said, and Suga saw he was worried. “Not really putting weight on your right leg. Did you get hurt?” 

Of course Daichi would notice he was limping, even if Suga tried to hide it as best as possible. He purposefully started moving less when he was setting, relying way less on his right side, and he would always run up from behind everyone else in synchro attacks so they didn’t see his face all scrunched up in pain. And yet somehow, Daichi knew something was off. 

“It’s nothing, Dai.” He shook his head and waved it off, trying to smile through it. He wanted it to be nothing, even if deep down he knew that had stopped being a possibility a while ago. 

“Don’t do that.” Daichi scolded him, and he was desperate to talk about literally anything else. “I know you tend to hide your pain, but I’m worried, did something happen?” 

“I said I’m fine!” he exclaimed, cringing at how his voice had risen like that. Daichi didn’t say anything, he just avoided his eyes and Suga felt horrible. They had been through this: no secrets between them. He bit a piece of his lip off and then whispered. “I’m sorry.” 

“I know you don’t like to show people you’re in pain.” Daichi told him, voice soft. Suga wrapped his arms around his middle in an attempt to deviate the attention from himself. He really didn’t like people pitying him when he was sick, that’s why he was always putting up a front, even with Daichi. “But why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You had enough on your plate, I didn’t want t-” he started, but froze when Daichi placed a hand on his cheek. 

“Suga.” He murmured, and Suga could feel himself blushing and he was sure Daichi could feel how hot his face had gotten under his palm, which obviously didn’t help at all. “You’re the most important person to me. Don’t you ever think I’m too busy to help you.” 

Suga couldn’t fight him, not after he had been so reassuring. It was true that Daichi had never left him alone when he needed him, never had he refused to take time to listen to him vent about all kinds of things, he had dropped everything and come running to his house when he was having a mayor breakdown, he had made sure he was okay afterwards. Daichi didn’t like not knowing what was going on, it made him worry too much and Suga hated to see him like that. 

“I didn’t tell you because I was hoping it would get better with time.” He explained, eyes locked on his lap. “That maybe I had just… overstepped that day, that maybe I was just a bit sore and that it would go away if I placed some ice on it. But then the pain didn’t go away and I just… wanted not to think about it.” 

“And when did it start hurting?” he asked softly, and Suga sighed heavily. 

“… Like three days ago.” He admitted, and even though he was looking away he could feel Daichi’s distress rolling off of him in waves. He almost whined, because this was exactly what he wanted to avoid. 

“And you continued playing like that?! Suga you could have seriously hurt yourself!” he said, and his voice was more worried than angry. 

“I don’t think it’s a big deal!” he tried to argue. “It isn’t terrible. I know it isn’t sprained, it just clicks funny when I run, makes it uncomfortable to step too hard on it.” 

Suga could see his best friend taking it all in, he could almost imagine the gears turning in his head. 

“We are getting you checked once we get back.” He sentenced, and Suga felt his stomach drop. Another thing that he desperately wanted to avoid had just settled in. 

“My parents aren’t home.” Because of course they weren’t, and he was foolish to think that excuse would work on Daichi. Suga being alone was one more reason why his friend wouldn’t drop the topic. 

“I’ll go with you then.” He said, too determined not to let Suga back down. 

“I hate hospitals, you know that!” he cried, but deep down he knew it was useless, Daichi had made up his mind and he would drag him if he needed to. 

Daichi knew Suga was terrified of hospitals and anything that had to do with getting checked. He knew that when he was little and he would scrape his knee, he would cry more about having to go the nurse than the actual wound. He knew Koushi could be dying of a fever but refuse to go to the infirmary. He had been so sick one time he had thrown up on the school bathroom, and even then he had tried to fight Daichi when he carried him away. 

“You’re scared.” He stated softly, squeezing his partners thigh firmly and feeling a pang of pain seeing the distress that was clear on his face. 

“Of course I’m scared.” He murmured, hiding his face in his hands. Daichi then realized all at once the kind of stress Suga had to put up with the past week, how he was tired and filled with fear. He knew his overreactive mind would lead him to question if he could continue playing, hell, if even walking was going to become a painful task from now on. Instead of saying anything he pulled him close to him, Suga then burying his face in his neck as if he could hide from the world there. 

“It’s okay.” He soothed him, rubbing gentle circles on his back. “We’ll get through this. I’m here. I won’t ever leave you alone.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
another week another chapter :)   
honestly I couldnt be happier with how this is going, and all the support I've received since I put up the first chapter of this fic. Hope you guys liked the little training camp adventures :D  
Love you so so much, have a great day!! <3


	18. I trust you

Hinata Shouyou had the amazing ability to fall asleep mere seconds after getting on any mean of transportation, if he so desired. But for some reason, right now he was having a hard time conjuring his power. He didn’t want to admit it was because of how close Kageyama was to him, how he could feel his warmth and how he wanted nothing more than to rest his head in his shoulder. He was too afraid of him shoving him off that he just leaned against the window. 

He could tell Kageyama was pissed by what had happened with the popsicles, Hinata knew the setter didn’t want to be on the captain’s bad side, and honestly, that was a smart move. He wondered if he should apologize somehow, but then it’s not like he had _forced_ him to go along with his plans. He was aware of his “charm” and how they always ended up helping the other but… it just made him ponder whether Kageyama was mad at him or not. 

When they reached Karasuno once again, after a week of being away, everyone was tired and wanting to just go home. However, their muscle memory took them to the gym and in the blink of an eye they were forming a circle facing coach Ukai, who looked like he wanted to die on the spot. Takeda sensei was by his side and somehow still had glow on his face. 

“Captain?” Hinata called, and Daichi was slow to turn around. Hinata was playing with the package, almost squishing it. He offered it to him silently and Daichi frowned before taking it. His confusion only grew once he had it in his hands. 

“What’s this?” he asked, weighing the package and staring at how messily it was wrapped. “Why is it cold…”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he fell silent in realization. The glare he gave Hinata could have burned a hole through his skull. 

“I didn’t steal them!” he whispered nervously. “Kuroo gave them to me!” 

Daichi sighed. 

“Why am I not surprised.” He murmured more to himself and turned back around. 

Coach Ukai was a man of little words, contrasted by Takeda sensei’s flamboyant speeches. Somehow, they complemented each other and always managed to lift the team’s spirits. Hinata felt a nice buzz all over his body. Despite having been on the team for a months now, there were times like this when he was aware of how lucky he was. Of how landing a spot in the team – in the family – was one of the things that he was most grateful for. He never took the partnership for granted, but deep down he knew that whatever happened he would always have this group of wildly different but deeply caring friends. 

“I think you all know how we did in training camp.” Daichi was saying, standing in front of them now that coach Ukai and Takeda sensei had given him the floor. “How it helped us both individually and as a team. By now you know what’s expected from us. Our next tournament will be this winter. We still got a few weeks, so I trust we will all continue to work hard. Oh, and one more thing.” He let his shoulders drop, signaling everyone his captain words were over. Everybody on the team was grateful that they had been short, they still needed to rest. “You have to swear this information stays within the Karasuno boys volleyball club. Not a word to ANYONE outside of this circle.” 

“Dude, if you’re gonna tell us we need to hide a body then just do.” Tanaka said, and Hinata wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not. He shot Kageyama a look, and the setter instantly knew what Daichi was going to say. 

“TEAM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” he exclaimed. 

“CAPTAIN, YES CAPTAIN.” They all chanted back, itching to know what was going on. They had never seen Daichi so serious and fired up outside of a match. 

“WE’RE THE FREEZER THIEF.” 

There was a collective gasp, and then Tanaka turned to Noya so fast he might have snapped his neck. 

“It was you, wasn’t it????” he almost screamed in disbelief. “And you did it without me!!!” 

“Guys, no.” Daichi said, but it was way too late. The gym had erupted in loud, surprised exclamations, fingers were being pointed, there was a moment when everyone was staring at Asahi and he looked mortified, Suga was laughing his ass off. Daichi just sighed heavily. “Whatever. Kuroo gave us the popsicles.” 

“You remind me of when I was on the team!” Coach Ukai was saying, looking teary-eyed. “Oh my God, I’m so proud-” and then Takeda sensei glared at him, so he pushed his hair back and took the stance of an angry coach, clearing his throat loudly. “I mean, wow. You shouldn’t have done that; it was very wrong! I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed-”

Coach soon realized that he couldn’t keep that front up and soon gave up on it, much to Takeda’s disagreement (even if he knew the blonde was a lost cause in the matter). 

“Whatever! It’s in the past now.” He continued, tossing the package of popsicle up and down. “Do keep it a secret though, we want to keep going to training camps. We’ll use these magical treats on our next tournament match, alright?” 

“Yes coach!” they responded, jumping to their feet. 

“Next thing you do is flop down on your bed and rest. Gym is closed until further notice; I’m looking at you two.” He gave Hinata and Kageyama a look that made them squirm. “Now go home, you naughty kids.” 

Everybody started to pour out through the doors. Suga somehow ended with Daichi’s arm around his waist (crazy how those accidents happen, right?) and then he realized he was subtly supporting his weight to help him walk. If anyone payed enough attention to them, they would see the vice-captain blushing. Kageyama and Hinata had sprinted down the streets with the call of ‘race you to the station!’ and the bet of a full-course meal. Everyone else just walked normally and shook their heads at their team’s antics that they loved so much. 

“Tanaka!” Noya called while chasing after him. The taller guy was stomping away and not looking back. “Wait! Are you still mad at me because of the popsicles? Come on, I knew it would be trouble, so I didn’t want to-.”

“We always get in trouble together!” he answered, wiping around dramatically. 

“I…” Noya started but stopped himself before he could say ‘I was with Asahi’. That could have been a disaster. 

“I thought you were bae.” Tanaka spat, and then turned sad. “Turns out you’re just fam.” 

“Bro…” Noya answered in a heartbeat, his voice filled with longing. Tanaka flashed him a rock sign with his thumb out and walked away slowly, like a movie character leaving someone dear behind. 

Asahi, who had witnessed the whole thing, carefully approached Noya and saw the guy give him the brightest of smiles. He was slightly confused, to say the least. It had always been a mystery to him how Noya and Tanaka often communicated. 

“Is he… are you… what happened?” he managed to ask. Noya laughed softly and Asahi’s heart decided it was a good time to send all the blood up to his face. 

“We’re good. He just likes the drama” He answered. Their eyes locked for a moment, and Asahi noticed Noya’s breath getting stuck on his throat for a moment. He then brushed it off by running his fingers through his hair to spike it up even more. 

“I’ll… um, see you? At practice? Whenever that is?” Asahi mumbled, cringing to himself. 

“Yeah! For sure, of course.” Noya nodded a bit too enthusiastically. “Definitely.” 

“You can, um, you can, you know, text me. Whenever, um, only if you want though of course-” he started rambling and regretted not saying goodbye right away. Now he was stuck saying words and he couldn’t stop. 

“I’ll do that, yeah. Oh! You can do that too! We can both text each other, right? Right. Okay. See you, bye!” Noya said before waving nervously and starting to walk away at the speed of an Olympic race walker. 

Asahi sighed to himself and rubbed his cheeks, trying to get them to stop being so hot. He definitely had a problem that he couldn’t keep ignoring, but for now he just wanted to go home and collapse on his bed. Maybe sleep for a couple days. And maybe, just maybe, tap into the chat of a certain guy with the username Thunder_Noya4. 

.

They had three days without practice. Some particular individuals lost their marbles at that statement and were incredibly outraged at the prospect of being forced to rest. Coach Ukai warned them to not even dare try stealing the keys to the gym. For Suga however, no practice was a huge relief. He was currently walking lopsidedly and had his ankle wrapped with bandages. 

Daichi had kept his promise of taking him to the hospital and no amount of pleads, bribes or sweet words were enough to get him out of visiting the doctor he so much hated. Suga had to admit he was grateful that, as horrible as it was for him to get checked up, at least he had Daichi with him in the room. Even his silent presence gave him a sense of comfort that eased his nerves and got him through the consult. There was no actual sprain on his ankle, but he would be benched for a while before his ligaments stopped hurting with every step he took. He was let out with a warning to come back if the pain didn’t decrease, which was probably Suga’s biggest concern at the moment. 

They hadn’t told anyone besides Asahi, but still Suga had two very attentive nurses making sure he wasn’t straining too much. He even had to stop them from carrying him to their usual eating spot. 

“You guys are so dramatic.” He was saying, rolling his eyes at his friends but wondering what he would do without them. 

“Oh, we can get you a wheelchair, for sure.” Daichi joked. The two were in the middle of bickering playfully back and forth that they didn’t notice Asahi zoning out for a moment, curling his hands in his lap nervously. They caught on when their long-haired friend raised his hand to wave at someone with a shy smile plastered on his face and a flustered look in his eye. Suga and Daichi looked at each other and then followed his gaze to find none other than Nishinoya Yuu grinning widely and flashing a peace sign before continuing on his way. 

“So…” Suga started, snapping Asahi back to reality. The guy shook his head and looked elsewhere, hiding his face behind a can of soda and pretending nothing had happened (and failing miserably). 

“When were you planning on telling us about the huge crush you have on Noya?” Daichi asked all of a sudden, making Asahi choke on his drink and spill some on himself. Suga patted his back as he coughed and grew bright red. 

“What?!” he exclaimed, tugging at the loose strands of his hair. “What are you guys talking about? Me? And Noya? Crush? What? No, guys, I mean-”

“Come on, Azumane.” Daichi scoffed, raising one eyebrow at him. “There’s plenty of things you’re good at but hiding your feelings isn’t one of them.” 

“Yeah, it’s kinda obvious.” Suga added, resting his chin on his hand. 

“Wait, really??” Asahi whispered, starting to sound distressed. “Oh my god, do you think- you know, do you think he- I mean, no! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

“Oh, there’s not need to stress about it, Noya’s oblivious.” Suga reassured him, but still shook his head. “I don’t understand how, but he doesn’t know.” 

“Yep, pretty blind if you ask me.” Daichi commented. Asahi let out a big sigh and pressed his forehead to the table, tangling his fingers in his hair that had come undone and just looking like he wanted to disappear. Both Suga and Daichi placed a comforting hand on his shoulders, knowing how overwhelmed Asahi could get sometimes. 

“I hate it.” He said, muffled by his mane. 

“hate what?” Suga asked, pushing Asahi’s hair out of his face. 

“How he makes me feel.” He answered, his voice soft. “How I feel so nervous when he’s around, how I-I-I can’t… breathe when he smiles at me, it’s horrible! I hate it!” 

“That’s so cute.” Daichi smiled, ruffling his hair playfully. 

“I just wished, I dunno, that I could like, talk to him? like a normal person? Without my face heating up like a goddamn oven. Gosh, he probably thinks I’m a weirdo.” 

“Please Asahi, if anything Noya thinks you’re a teddy bear.” 

“Oh, for sure. You should totally ask him out.” 

“What!?” he cried, suddenly horrified. “Do you guys want me to die of embarrassment?? In what world would Noya want to go out with me?” 

“I can’t believe this.” Daichi said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

“This is so painfully tragic.” Suga murmured, covering his face with his hands and groaning dramatically. “You guys are idiots, both of you!” 

“Guys quit it! I’m not joking!” Asahi pleaded, rubbing his hands together so hard his skin was turning white. 

“Asahi, Noya’s in love with you!!” Suga said, shaking his friend’s shoulders. 

“No, he’s not!! Stop screwing with me!!” he exclaimed, shrugging and hiding behind his hair, cheeks starting to grow red. “Don’t just say stuff like that.” 

“Asahi you big dumbass!” Daichi chimed in. “Don’t you see the signs? Why do you think he got soooo mad at you for quitting, the whole ‘don’t leave me alone out there, you can’t do this to me’? Come on! He made all that drama because he likes you!” 

“He literally changed your username to AsahiBear, because that’s what completely platonic friends do, right?” Suga questioned him, voice heavy with sarcasm. 

“Guys, why on earth would the Nishinoya Yuu like someone… like me?” he murmured, sighing heavily. “He’s so amazing and bubbly and filled with charm and I’m just… me.” 

“Hey.” Suga started. They had both noticed Asahi’s insecurities bleeding into his words, and they weren’t about to sit around and do nothing about it. “Don’t bring yourself down like that.” 

“You’re awesome dude.” Daichi said without a shadow of a doubt. “And the heart wants what it wants. Maybe he likes big guys, if you know what I mean.” 

Daichi wiggled his eyebrows and Asahi was soon screeching at him trying to slap him. Suga laughed and was glad the atmosphere had become lighter. 

“🎵 _Noya and Asahi sitting in a tree_ 🎵” Suga sang, and soon Daichi was joining him between giggles. 

“STOP IT GUYS!” Asahi screamed, his face bright red as he tried to punch his two friends at the same time. 

“🎵 _K-I-S-S-I-N-G_ 🎵” they sang through their laughter, watching Asahi fuming. 

“HOW OLD ARE YOU, SEVEN?!” he spat at them, trying to drown their singing voices. 

“You’re a grown man Asahi!” Daichi said, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Have some balls and ask him out!” 

“Oh you’re someone to be talking about that, Sawamura!” Asahi exclaimed, getting up and slamming his hands on the table. “You got some nerve saying that to me, considering!” 

Daichi had gone pale and was glaring daggers at the other guy as he walked away from them. He swore under his breath and turned his head only to find Suga’s eyes on him, squinting with his head tilted to the side. Daichi blinked innocently and hid his trembling hands under the table. He was going to kill Azumane Asahi for throwing him under the bus like that, knowing full well Suga was a very perceptive guy and would obviously notice the comment. Yes, he admitted the conversation they were having about him being blind to Noya’s feelings may have seemed ‘ironic’ to Asahi who still insisted Suga was in love with Daichi, but the situations were completely different, obviously. 

“What was that about?” Suga asked, giving him a suspicious look. Daichi wouldn’t have been surprised if he also asked why he was sweating all of a sudden. 

“Huh?” he played dumb in hopes of buying some time, but deep down he knew there was no fooling his best friend. He didn’t see how he was going to get out of this without lying and he was starting to genuinely panic. 

“Why did Asahi say that? ‘Considering’ what?” he asked again, and Daichi swallowed nervously. 

“It’s nothing, really. Y-You know how he gets when we tease him, he was just talking out of his ass I don’t know what he means.” 

That probably wasn’t the best approach. Suga leaned back and looked away, clearly angry that Daichi wasn’t telling him the truth. They had been through this once and it had been hell on earth, bitter memories crawling back into his brain, but he honestly didn’t know what to do!! 

“I’ll ask him then.” He said and got up to leave. Before he could get too far Daichi grabbed his wrist, stopping him. Suga didn’t move, didn’t try to free himself, he just stood there and sighed. When he turned towards Daichi his eyes were filled with pure honesty, transparent as they had ever been. 

“You know you can trust me, right?” he said softly, and a shaky breath escaped Daichi’s lips. 

“Yes. And I also trust that you understand why I can’t tell you this, Koushi.” He pleaded, praying all of this would end. He hated the knot that had settled on his stomach and he wanted to just have Suga by his side. 

“Alright.” He murmured, running a hand through Daichi’s short hair. “I trust you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! here's another chapter for you lovely peps :D  
18 chapters already? honestly I didnt imagine making it this far, but that's thanks to your kindness and love :')   
and dont worry, I got more planned for this history. We're gonna be here a while.  
As always thank you thank you thank youuuuu for the support, and have a great day <3


	19. I'll take care of him

Azumane Asahi didn’t consider himself to be a very perceptive guy. There was a multitude of things that went over his head, he tended to space out really easily; and he could either lose his train of thought in a matter of seconds or be completely stuck in it for hours at a time. He felt his brain was the wackiest place, and he wouldn’t be surprised if one day he got himself into life-threatening situations because of it. 

He sighed and twirled his pencil absently. With a fair share of people bothering him about his future, what he was going to do after high school, have you chosen a college yet? Are you even going to college? What’s your plan for the rest of your life? Do you plan to work on something mediocre until you die? He was plagued with too many questions at once and honestly, he wanted to pull the plug on his brain and lie on his bed for a couple hours without a single thought on his mind. 

Leaning back on his chair, he allowed himself to think about something other than the fear he felt when the word ‘future’ was thrown around. Daichi hadn’t said anything special regarding his heart troubles with Suga, so he assumed the two were back to their usual schtick of dancing around each other. He thought that giving Suga a hint about it would push them together, but that clearly hadn’t worked. 

He wondered if he was in the same situation as Daichi, somehow. He had heard him say over and over again that the idea of Suga loving him was ridiculous, exactly how Asahi felt about Noya’s alleged crush on him. Asahi himself knew for a fact his two friends were head over heels for each other, and yet both Suga and Daichi denied what to him was obvious. Equally, the pair had said that the ‘mutual feelings’ between Noya and Asahi were evident, and they just didn’t see it. 

It was all strangely similar, and for a fleeting second Asahi wondered. Could it be that the two pairs were in the same situation, denying their feelings towards one another but claiming the connection between the other two was real? 

He shook his head and focused on pulling his hair up in a ponytail. All that kind of drama was becoming a bit too complicated for his liking. Right now he could just concentrate on practice, that always helped quieting his mind. As he was tying his shoes, he saw Tanaka enter the locker room, and waited a few seconds to clear his throat awkwardly and ask: 

“Um, where’s Noya?” Asahi knew the guy would come running to the gym as soon as the bell rang, and if he was a bit late it would be because he got caught up in something ridiculous and would turn up with his hair all messy and a big crazy anecdote to tell. 

“Oh, he didn’t come to school today.” Tanaka answered, putting his stuff away. 

“Really? Why?” Asahi asked, trying to come off as just curious instead of showing the rising worry he was feeling. Noya wasn’t the biggest fan of studying and he did skip class a few times, but not showing up entirely was uncharacteristic of him. 

“Noya gets really sick when this time of year rolls around.” Tanaka told him. “He’s probably stuck in bed with a fever, and his eyes must be too swollen to look at a screen and answer my texts. Happens every time.” 

Asahi tried to focus on practice but Noya just wouldn’t leave his mind. He just couldn’t picture him laying in bed, weak, when he seemed to be so full of life and energy every day. He was distracted and his head was in the clouds, wondering what he should do. Tanaka said he wasn’t answering his texts, so was there anything he could do? Was he supposed to just wait it out? 

Noya didn’t show up to class for the next three days. His friends watched Asahi grow more and more uneasy as time went by, seemingly more anxious than usual and just permanently eyeing his surroundings in hopes of seeing his spiked-haired teammate up and running. 

“Dude, if you’re so worried about him then why don’t you go see him?” Suga suggested, done with Asahi’s constant concern. 

“I can’t just… pull up to his house, can I?” he murmured. At this point he would consider anything no matter how stupid it may seem. He felt as if something was off, he could feel it in his skin that somehow his day was lacking, even if it was something as small as Noya saying hi or complementing him on a spike well done. 

“You’re friends, right?” Daichi argued, siding with Suga as always. “I’m sure that if you disappeared like that he would come running and throw rocks at your window.” 

“He must be feeling pretty bad, Asahi.” Suga pitched in. “Probably being all alone in his room. You could really cheer him up with a visit.” 

It only took them a couple more words to convince Asahi that Noya needed him, and just like that he found himself standing in front of the Nishinoya residency. It certainly wasn’t the first time that he’d been there, but in that moment, he felt his nerves tie themselves in a thick knot that rested heavily on his throat. He probably looked like a creep just standing in front of the door, but just lifting his arm to knock on the wood was taking huge amounts of courage. Finally, he knocked softly and waited, his heart pounding. He checked himself one last time, shuffled inside of his big fluffy coat and hoped he didn’t look insane. 

After a couple agonizing seconds the door was opened, and a small elderly man poked his head out. Asahi had seen Noya’s grandfather before, but he still tripped over his words when he was going to say the phrase that he had practiced in his head so many times while on his walk there. 

“G-good afternoon, um, I’m, Asahi, Azumane Asahi and I um…” he could feel his brain going into a panicked halt, but he couldn’t do anything about it. It was almost like watching the train wreck of him embarrassing himself in front of his crush’s father figure. 

“Oh! are you friends with Yuu?” the man asked, and he didn’t sound pissed. Asahi took a deep breath to calm himself. “You came to see him? Come in! It’s freezing out here!” 

A second later Asahi was being ushered in by a small kind grandpa, that placed a cup of warm tea on his hands and thanked him profusely for coming. It was a little awkward at first since Asahi was so much taller than the man, but he didn’t seem to have any problem looking up with a smile that could melt the ice of nerves that was the third year in that moment. 

“The team, is everyone doing okay?” the old man asked, that kind smirk still on his face. “Yuu talks a lot about you guys, but I still mix up the names sometimes. You said you were Asahi, right?” 

“Y-yes, sir.” He answered, a little too stiff for his liking. The older man didn’t seem to mind. 

“Oh, right, Asahi! I remember! How could I not? My grandson is always telling me about this big long haired third year, that must be you! It’s so nice to finally meet you in person.” 

“D-does he? Does he now?” he stuttered nervously. His brain was overwhelmed, wondering what exactly had Noya said about him. Had he told his grandfather all about their fallout? Did the man secretly hate him for what he put Noya through? Should he apologize? He needs to say something before the silence gets too awkward! 

“Yes, and I’m so glad you’re here, I’m sure he’ll cheer up right away.” The grandfather told him, and he looked… grateful? “Are your teammates doing okay? It’s not uncommon for people to fall ill with this kind of weather.” 

“Yeah, um. Yes, we’re okay.” Asahi answered, starting to feel more comfortable and actually able to put up a good expression, or at least one that didn’t show absolute terror. “And I miss Noya a lot… I mean we! We miss Nishinoya, um, Yuu. So… I just thought I’d drop by, since he hasn’t been to school, I…”

“Oh, and I’m so grateful you came by, really.” Noya’s grandpa said, bowing slightly and then leading Asahi to what he assumed was his friend’s room. “This happens every year, one day he’s his usual bubbly self and then as soon as the first little snowflake falls, he’s in bed for a week. It’s like the cold really sets in his bones, and I guess he does get lonely.” 

The short man softly pushed the door open and peaked inside. Asahi didn’t want to disturb Noya if he was sleeping, but then again, he wouldn’t know what to do if that was the case. He couldn’t just, wait in his room watching him like a creep. 

“He’s awake, but he’s a little groggy.” The elder said, worry seeping into his voice. “I’m trying to get his fever to go down but no luck so far. If you boys need anything just ask, and you’re invited to stay for as long as you want.” 

He gave him one final smile and Asahi did his best to show his gratefulness. He didn’t expect to be treated so nicely by someone he barely knew. Although Noya’s grandpa was really sweet, Asahi was relieved when he closed the door behind him and was able to breathe for a second. That conversation could have been so, so much worse, so he still processed the fact that he had lived through the interaction. Good job Asahi. 

The room was mess. The lights were dimmed (probably because Noya couldn’t stand them), there were piles of clothes on the floor, magazines and other papers were scattered everywhere, and Asahi assumed the bundle made out of piles of blankets laying on top of a futon with a thousand heaters was his very sick friend. He walked slowly, not wanting to make any noise and sat at the edge of the futon, wondering how to get Noya’s attention. 

“Hey…” he whispered, and received a grunt in response. With all the blankets on top of him only Noya’s head was sticking out, and he rolled over to face him. Even though half of his face was covered by a mask, Asahi could see the bright redness around his eyes and his hair was drenched in sweat and sticking to his forehead. He looked like he was just ready to die on the spot. Despite that, his bloodshot eyes widened at the sight of him, and one of his pale hands surfaced from under the blankets to pull his mask down and give him a weak smile. 

“Asahi?” he groaned. His voice was deep and scruffy, almost completely gone. “I can’t believe you came…”

“Well, I had to check for myself that you were actually still alive.” He joked, and Noya let out a string of giggles that turned into a coughing fit. 

“I’m sorry, I know I look horrible.” He said, reaching for tissues. “I don’t want you to catch anything though…”

“Don’t worry about me, my immune system is pretty strong.” He assured him, and felt a deep ache settle in his chest upon seeing his friend, cheerful Noya all pale and sweating, struggling to breathe and still trying to brush it off when he was clearly in pain. “We all miss you back at school…”

“I miss you guys too, this is horrible.” He managed to say, sighing heavily. Against all odds, Asahi actually brushed his sweaty hair out of his face and placed a tender hand on his forehead. “Jesus Christ your hands are freezing, Asahi.” 

“No, you’re burning up.” He murmured, worry clawing at his insides. 

“Have been for the past week hehe~” Noya sang, his eyes rolling back. “Wouldn’t be surprised if my brain was completely fried.” 

Asahi noticed there was a bowl with cool water and some cloths, so he took it upon himself to wet one and place it on Noya’s head to try and bring his temperature down. Even with the blankets, the heaters and everything in between, his tiny body was still shivering. Asahi bit his lip, feeling powerless. 

“Stop that…” Noya said, sticking his hand out to poke Asahi’s frown. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine… you look better when you’re not frowning.” 

“You look better when you’re not dying.” Was Asahi’s automatic response, hiding behind humor so he didn’t have to deal with his feelings being shook to the core. 

“Now that’s true.” Noya smiled, swallowing with difficulty. They stayed in silence for a couple moments, the only sound coming from Noya’s ragged breathing. The smaller guy stared at Asahi, a look on his face that he couldn’t quite read. “Have you always been… like that?” 

“…Like what?” Asahi questioned; a bit confused. He gave himself a critical look, searching for something weird Noya could be referring to. 

“Beautiful” he said, plain and simple, and like he meant it. He continued to stare with his head tilted slightly, his chapped lips slightly parted. Asahi grew bright red and his breath got caught on his throat, balling his hands into fists nervously. 

“Wh-ah? What do y-you mean?” he stuttered, but Noya didn’t seem fazed at all. 

“I like it when your hair’s down like that.” He murmured. “You look… handsome, and strong… and…” 

“Noya?” Asahi breathed out, panicked by his friend’s painful expression. 

“…I’m sorry, I feel a lil’… lightheaded.” He answered, sinking deeper into the mattress. Asahi didn’t know what to do, and Noya looked like he was about to pass out. Startled, he looked frantically for something around the room that could help the situation, but came up with nothing. 

“Oh God.” Asahi breathed out, running his hands through his hair. He could not have a panic attack now, not when Noya was like this and he was the only one that could do anything. He needed to stay calm, and figure something out. Noya’s grandpa knocked on the door and said he had brought some hot tea, and Asahi was quick to let him in. The old man saw his grandson squirming and burning and knelt beside him, caressing his hair. He shushed him, like you would a child to help them calm down, and Asahi felt like he had never been more out of place. 

“Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?” Asahi suggested, his leg bouncing up and down. 

“There’s a storm forming.” The man said, his voice getting all somber. “The weather is terrible out there, we can’t move him right now. You should really get home before it gets worse.” 

Asahi’s mouth went completely dry, and no matter how hard he tried his thoughts were a train wreck. How could he leave them both all alone here? Not when Noya was like this. Nishinoya was always taking care of his grandfather, helping him around the house and making sure everything was okay. There had been times when he wasn’t able to concentrate because his grandpa was sick, or because he knew he was getting old and doing everyday things was becoming more and more of an effort. Asahi couldn’t leave, he wasn’t going to. 

“I’ll stay.” He said firmly, making up his mind. “I’ll help you take care of him.” 

“Son, you don’t have to do that…” the elder man started saying, but was interrupted by Noya coughing and wheezing. His wrinkled hands were shaking when he helped his grandson sit up so he could regain his breath. Asahi also knelt beside them and supported Noya’s weight with his body. When he was able to breathe again, Noya leaned back against Asahi’s chest and closed his eyes. 

“I’ll take care of him.” Asahi repeated, trying to convey that he was there, and he wasn’t going to leave them alone. The old man sighed heavily and thanked him profusely, leaving the room to go fetch some medicine. Asahi also deflated and took big breaths, while also covering Noya with the blankets as best he could. 

“You’re warm…” Noya said, sounding exhausted. He curled against Asahi’s chest and the taller guy was quick to wrap his arms around his tiny frame. Somehow, that calmed Noya’s breathing and soon his eyes were fluttering shut. He made him drink the medicine and that helped clear his airways, while also making him incredibly loopy. 

He giggled stupidly and blabbered nonsense for a couple minutes, and Asahi would be lying if he said he didn’t find it strangely amusing. Now Noya had fallen sleep against him and the storm had broken out, so they were trapped at least for a couple more hours. Asahi was lost in his thoughts, there in the eerie silence of the room, the weight of Noya’s body grounding him to earth. 

He couldn’t keep denying his feelings anymore. He had to accept what Noya meant to him, despite it making him unbelievably scared. He was pretty sure he had never cared so much about someone as he did with Noya, the feelings in his chest were a mess and hard to describe. Even if at some point we gathered the courage to be honest, he had no idea how he would put all this into words. 

And maybe it couldn’t be put into words, maybe it was all silent and unspoken, but still definitely there with such strength that Asahi would do anything to preserve it. To keep Noya’s flame safe, to keep him happy and healthy and loud like he was. To help him get back up when he wasn’t filled with joy, to watch him grow and accomplish great things for himself. 

Asahi didn’t know if Noya’s words had been just a product of his fever or if he truly found him… ‘beautiful’, as he had worded it. Gosh, it almost seemed crazy to think that someone liked when his hair was down, that someone looked at him and thought ‘strong’ and ‘handsome’ instead of a total mess. That even though Noya knew him, knew that he sometimes got so overwhelmed he stopped functioning, he could still tell him he was reliable, tell him he trusted him. It all sounded like some unrealistic dream, and yet some part of Asahi clung to that so-called fantasy. 

Noya was fully asleep when Asahi laid him down on the bed as carefully as he could, a bitter taste on his tongue at the thought of having to leave him. It had been a couple hours already and it was now safe for Asahi to go home. It was also incredibly late and his parents were worried. He left the Nishinoya residency with the promise of coming by in the afternoons to check up on them. 

And so he did, every day for the following week he went to their house after practice. It didn’t matter how tired he was, he would drag himself all the way there in order to visit them. Slowly he convinced Noya’s grandpa that it was okay, since the old man was often reminding him that he didn’t have to do such thing. He helped clean around the house, reach on top of the high furniture and tidy the rooms that required to bend down and pick things up. 

With time, Asahi’s afternoons were less holding Noya while he whines and wheezes and more watching silly videos with him and telling him about his day. He watched the redness progressively leave his eyes, his breathing becoming less forced and his fevers less aggressive. Asahi stopped feeling nervous around the house and actually felt welcomed and cared for there, and most importantly he got to spend time with Noya. 

He also realized he wanted to tell Noya how he felt, he wanted to get that pressure off his chest and for once take a leap of faith. He didn’t even want to consider what would happen to him if Noya rejected him, if he stopped looking at him with those eyes full of wonder of if he didn’t have him by his side in the court anymore. But at the same time, for some reason that he was yet to explain, he wanted Noya to know that well, Asahi loved him. That he loved him for who he was, that he loved his little quirks and that he wanted to have him close for as long as he could. 

Maybe at the end of the year he would tell him, he would have to make big and scary decision by then so why not add that one to the pile. Maybe he’d do it, who knows? 

.

Noya was beyond relieved when he was able to stand on his own without his head threatening to split open. It was nice not having to breathe heavily to get oxygen up into his head and actually being able to swallow without feeling like he had shoved a bunch of thorns in his throat. Even though it happened every winter, he was still not used to it. This year however, was different. 

When Asahi appeared sitting down in his room, at first he thought he was some kind of hallucination in a fever dream. Why would Asahi go out of his way to visit him when his state resembled that of a dying man, he could barely move or speak or something to make it interesting for him. Instead he had just silently shared his company, and also his warmth. Remembering that now that he was better was like recalling a distant, blurry dream. He was still not completely sure it actually happened. 

Everybody welcomed him when he was finally cleared to go to practice, and Noya felt like things were slowly going back to normal. One day at the end of practice, he gathered the courage to ask Asahi to talk to him for a minute. He watched his partner’s eyes fill with terror, and he knew the other’s mind was running a million scenarios per second and wondering just what he had done this time for Noya to want to ‘talk to him for a minute’. He was quick to dismiss any negative thought, and he hid his nervousness behind a laugh that came out a bit shaky. 

“I just wanted to thank you, um… for everything you did.” He said, and a second later Asahi’s shoulders dropped, and he relaxed. “You really helped my grandpa a lot, I swear now he won’t stop talking about you. So really, thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled, and Noya’s heart started beating like crazy at the image. “I’m glad you’re better, you really scared me there for a moment.” 

“Oh! right! I… I also wanted to apologize.” He continued, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I know when I have a fever I tend to say crazy shit, and with the amount of time you spent with me I had to have said something freaky.” 

“Well…” Asahi said, a sly smirk pulling at his lips. “You did say you liked it when my hair was down.” 

Oh God. He knew he started to spill nonsense, but had he really said that?? He felt his cheeks grow red and his face felt like it was on fire, to which Asahi laughed nervously and started blushing as well. Much to his own surprise, he reached up and undid his hair bun, making his long brown locks fall gracefully down to his shoulders. Noya froze in place and could only stare. He felt like he was about to melt and be reduced to a puddle on the floor. 

“How do I look?” Asahi laughed. Was Asahi teasing him? Was this a dream? He needed to say something quick, so he decided that if Asahi of all people was teasing him then he would tease right back. 

“Gorgeous.” He answered fiercely, and Asahi was taken aback by his intense look. They basically laughed it off and left with the promise of Asahi dropping by whenever so Noya’s grandpa could have tea with him again. 

After that Tanaka was staring at him with an eyebrow raised and a devious look. 

“What?” he asked, pulling at the strap of his bag. 

“Were you… flirting with Asahi?” he asked, and Noya was left speechless, which was pretty uncommon for him. 

“No! of course not!” Right? He wasn’t. They weren’t. That was just some friendly conversation, nothing more. 

“Riiiiight.” Tanaka said, clicking his tongue. “So you’re telling me that him letting his hair fall like a l’Oreal commercial and giving you that look wasn’t flirting.” 

“It was just a joke.” He answered, because it was. Tanaka sighed and rolled his eyes, exasperated. 

“Why can’t you just admit that you’re drooling over him? It would make things a bit easier” he whispered, and thankfully they were far enough for none of the team to hear. 

“TANAKA.” Noya exclaimed. “We’re not having this conversation again!” 

“I can see why you like him though.” He continued, ignoring Noya’s pleads to just drop the topic. “He’s all buff and strong-looking but he’s soft on the inside. Like a cinnamon bun.” 

“Yeah, well, he’s…” he fought to get the words out but the pit on his stomach swallowed them all. “I don’t know. It confuses me. But I don’t think he’s into me, I’m too loud and obnoxious for his taste.” 

“We’re not having this conversation again!” he mocked him, and Noya punched him lightly. “Whatever you say dude. Whatever you say…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello!  
here's a new chapter that's a little longer than usual ;)  
I'll definitely keep writing during the holidays, keep the flow steady for all of you.  
thank you thank you thank you sooo much for all your nice comments and kudos, and I hope you have a great day! <3


	20. Once again, alone

For little Hinata, volleyball was very simple. You play in teams; you try to keep the ball in the air as much as possible, and if you make it fall on the other side enough times you win. That was about it. Before he happened to take that route, on that day at that specific hour, to see on that one TV that one match with that one short player, volleyball was a game. A fun one of course, a thrilling ride that could light up his gloomiest days even if he barely knew how to receive; but just that, a game. 

Then he got to high school, he got a proper court, he had daily practice and most importantly, he got a team. Hinata realized that volleyball wasn’t just a game. It filled his soul like no other thing could, his spirit yearned for the thrill of playing, for the exhilaration of being in the air. Sometimes, late at night he lost his breath at the heavy realization that if he couldn’t play volleyball then he wasn’t going to be happy. Isn’t that what everyone wants? What everyone looks for? 

He cannot pinpoint when it happened, but Hinata Shouyou pictured himself in a professional court and thought yes. This is what I want to do, this is what I _need_ to do. It wasn’t a big, excited «I’ve found my calling! » moment, it resembled more the action of bracing oneself for a long journey. And oh what a long journey it was going to be, but Hinata was prepared to fight with nails and teeth to achieve his goal, his dream, his meant-to-be. He had encountered obstacles; yes, in the form of discouraging words, disheartening comments, hushed phrases of pity and sometimes, even his own thoughts while staring at himself in the mirror. Short, small, tiny. Amateur. Unexperienced. 

And then he met Kageyama. Kageyama Tobio was built to play volleyball. The guy was a machine, perfectly wired with superhuman precision, lightning-fast thinking, he was a strategic master and could make decisions in a split second. His heart pumped and his lungs worked so he could play, his blood kept flowing because of the game. Everything about Kageyama screamed ‘this is the guy you want on your team’. Equipped with everything Hinata lacked: height, strategy, technique. Talent? 

And yet they had clicked so well together. Why was that? If they were so wildly different? More importantly, after everything they had gone through together, after what felt like a million ‘do you trust me’ with always the same affirmative answer, why was Hinata having these kinds of thoughts? Where was all this coming from? 

He shook his head and stared at his phone’s screen for the twelfth time, focusing on actually processing the message instead of just reading it again and again. 

_GrumpyKag: are u coming?_

It was a late Saturday morning. Normally, Hinata would have gotten up and ready, he would have tied his volleyball shoes while happily humming to himself and grabbed his previously packed duffel bag. He would then take his bike and make his way to the city gym, where he would find his partner warming up and with the net already set. It was just the two of them, going through the motions of the carefully crafted training regime they had put together, it was almost natural at this point. It was calming, it was familiar, it was by now so engraved in their routines that it would feel off not to do it. 

However now Hinata had stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling and having thoughts that took his breath away and squeezed his heart in a tight grip of uncertainty. Instead of being in the gym for his special practice with Kageyama, he was standing in the middle of his room, awake but struggling to focus, staring at a text without really seeing it. Another one came in, making him jump. 

_GrumpyKag: is everything okay?_

It wasn’t like Hinata to be late, at all. God, what was happening to him? He tossed his phone onto the bed and rushed to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face and stared at his reflection while holding onto the sides of the sink. He squeezed, hard, his knuckles turning white, and then stood up straight and decided to pull himself together and go to practice. It was what need to be done. It was what he wanted to do. 

Right? 

.

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: sorry. overslept. be there in a minute_

Kageyama frowned at the response and hummed to himself. He tried not to think too hard about it, there wasn’t any use. He had already driven everyone around him insane by pacing back and forth, wondering what was taking his partner so long. He had served over ten times already, he ran a couple laps around the court, he spent at least five minutes straight doing overhand passes with himself, he checked every bolt and every knot on the net, and then resigned to pull out his phone and text Hinata, probably what he should’ve done in the first place instead of fidgeting like a crazy person. 

And then he got a text back, which felt slightly off. He tried not to overthink, maybe he was in a hurry and just typed in a quick explanation, maybe he had just woken up and couldn’t really see the screen. Maybe it wasn’t that deep. He waited around some more and then finally Hinata arrived. If the scenario was different, Kageyama would’ve been _pissed_. But as soon as his partner entered the room, he knew something had happened. 

Silence fell after Hinata murmured a small sorry and let his bag fall carelessly. He rolled his shoulders and avoided Kageyama’s gaze, pushing his hair back and away from his face. The setter could only stare. Something had definitely happened; this wasn’t the same Hinata that would come in with a bubbly stroll and a bright smile. He hadn’t teased him about something stupid or babbled about how great it was to play. Instead there was only that: silence. It took him a while to notice that Hinata was staring back at him with his eyebrows raised. 

“What?” he questioned, and Kageyama wanted to ask him the same thing. _What happened to you?_

“Nothing.” He shook it off. They had already lost quite a bit of time so it would be better to start right away. 

At first it was hardly noticeable. Hinata delivered some pretty satisfying spikes and managed to receive some of Kageyama’s normal serves. He was fast and his reflexes were sharp, he was just… quiet. Kageyama tried to bother him playfully so he would say something, anything, but all he got back were sighs and grunts. He then jokingly pulled off a jump serve which had Hinata diving straight to the floor as the ball rocketed off. He would have started complaining, saying something like ‘you jerk! Even Daichi has a hard time receiving those!’ 

Nothing. Hinata just slowly retrieved the ball and tossed it back to him. Kageyama squeezed the ball between his hands, getting progressively more worried. Something was wrong. Something was wrong and the thought kept echoing in the back of his mind, getting louder and louder as time went by and Hinata continued to act not like himself at all. He tried to come up with a logical explanation: maybe he’s tired, even Kageyama got fed up once in a while; maybe he was having a bad day, everyone had those sometimes. 

He switched to spikes, because he knew Hinata loved those, he loved the stinging feeling on his palm and their freak quick had never failed to put a smile on his face. Until now. It got over the net and to the other side, sure, but it wasn’t as strong, the sound wasn’t the same. It’s fine, Kageyama thought. It’s fine, his arms must be tired, spikers had a hard time keeping the same amount of power throughout a match. It was fine, it was normal. 

They tried it again, this time Hinata brushed it with just his fingertips. He was slowing down, that was evident, but Kageyama kept brushing it off, keeping the usual comments to himself and just saying ‘let’s do it again’, ‘let’s do it again’

And then, Kageyama tossed the ball into the air, forcefully silencing his running thoughts and setting it with a flick of his wrists, hard and fast. Then he heard the ball fall softly beside him. He was scared of looking, his soul dropping to his feet, but he turned and saw Hinata standing there, staring right ahead. 

He hadn’t jumped. 

Kageyama had set for him and he hadn’t jumped. He tossed and no one was there. He felt his mouth go dry and he tried to conceal the shaky sigh that escaped his lips. He physically felt the stitches of that old wound being pulled apart, reopening that old ache that flooded his chest and made his throat tie itself into knots. But somehow, he didn’t allow the dread to consume him completely. This was clearly wrong, Hinata would never do that to him. He trusted him; he had said so many times before. If Hinata wasn’t jumping for his tosses then obviously there was something going on with him. 

“Hinata?” he started, not really knowing how to approach this. 

“Sorry.” He whispered, softly walking to retrieve the ball one more time. Kageyama then stepped besides him and insisted. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” he answered, although he didn’t look him in the eye. Kageyama’s skin was starting to itch. 

“That wasn’t my question.” He stated, Hinata barely blinked. “There _is_ something wrong, I can tell.” 

“Sorry I didn’t jump for it.” He said, voice plain. “Can we continue?” 

“No!” Kageyama exclaimed, letting a tone of desperation seep into his voice. “What’s going on with you? Was it something I did? Why aren’t you telling me??” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Stop lying to me!” he shouted, but Hinata didn’t seem fazed by it. Kageyama was breathing heavily, his thunder blue eyes were clouded with despair. He was confused, scared, worried. 

Kageyama had only seen something similar when Hinata was on the floor of their gym after failing to do the quick for the hundredth time. Head hung low, heavy shoulders, eyes unfocused. It was definitely not something Kageyama would like to repeat, and it was happening again in front of his eyes and he didn’t know how to stop it. He didn’t know what words Hinata needed to hear, he was completely lost. 

“Don’t you trust me?” Kageyama asked instead and waited for a response. A reassuring yes. A single word that would tell him that not everything was lost, that things could be fixed, that their bond was still intact. Because it had to be, it had to, Kageyama could not imagine himself without it. _Answer me, for god’s sake answer me. Say yes, say yes, say you trust me. Come on, please_. But only silence ensued. 

He felt a red-hot spine pierce his heart slowly, painfully. He shook his head in denial, Hinata murmured an excuse and started walking away. Kageyama was quick to grab his wrist, like a dying man holding onto the only thing that seems solid, holding onto a lifeline. 

_Don’t leave, don’t you dare leave. Please don’t, I’m begging you. Stay. Stay with me. Whatever it is, whatever is happening, we can figure it out. We can figure it out together. I won’t leave you alone, don’t leave me! I promised you, remember? Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium, red uniform, you and me. I don’t want to be alone, please. Stay. Talk to me. You’re hurting, tell me why. Tell me why so I can help. Please, please. _

_Hinata, I need you. _

_I need you. _

_Please…_

_Shouyou? _

Kageyama Tobio didn’t know if those words stayed in his head or actually left his mouth. What he did know was that the gym was empty, and that he was, once again, alone. 


	21. You have me

It all started after training camp. The teams returned to their respective schools with newfound friendships and promises of seeing each other in the court again for a real match. For Karasuno, major changes went down in the short span of a week. It seemed like every member was evolving at lightning speed, and finally clicking together as a whole. Hinata couldn’t be happier. He was sure training camp had been the greatest time of his life, and he couldn’t wait to do it again.

If Hinata and Kageyama were inseparable before, now everybody that watched them for a minute would know that they were meant for each other. Behind all the bickering, you could tell that they genuinely cared about the other, felt comfortable spending time together and had their lives intertwined. Hinata had even heard Suga chuckle and tell the captain “they remind me of us.”

Which was crazy to even consider, the little comment playing with the fiddles of his heart. Hinata had had doubts about his relationship with Kageyama, questioning if they were on the same page. For a while it seemed like Kageyama only cared about volleyball, it was what he did and what he lived for so he couldn’t really think about anything else. Not his grades, not vocabulary words, not Hinata as a friend rather than a weapon. But after everything that had happened between the two, Hinata believed he wouldn’t have those kinds of thoughts again.

Kageyama wasn’t a verbal guy. He wouldn’t go up to Hinata and say something like “I think you’re improving” or “I care about you”; but he did show it with his actions. Hinata knew he cared about him because he was always pestering him about eating and sleeping properly, because he hadn’t left him alone when his ankle was busted and he couldn’t walk, because he would make sure he was okay if he landed badly after a jump. Kageyama wasn’t good with words, but he was always silently reassuring him that there was indeed a bond between them, and that he intended to keep it safe.

To Hinata that was worth more than words. And, ironically, it was words that started to put him off slowly. After training camp, his phone was filled with new contacts, he chatted with people that were as excited as him over matches and tournaments, and sometimes had Kageyama staring at him while he was on the phone. With that came random and sporadic invitations to play friendly matches in the park. Hinata couldn’t be happier about it. He tried to get Kageyama to come with, but he sensed the setter didn’t really want to practice like that with people he barely knew. Kageyama had only gotten the hang of team playing a while ago, so for him adapting to all styles of players was a task that required time. He needed to get to know the spikers in order to shine, so he was better set for teams on the long run. Despite that, he had insisted Hinata should go either way.

He couldn’t be happier. It was a nice change of pace, to be able to play without the pressure of a tournament, and most of the time they didn’t even keep scores. They played to get better, to show off their new tactics even if some were still tacky; they played to have fun. Hinata was having fun, certainly. Then their little group started growing and new people came in, people that didn’t know his name. but they did know him, “oh, you’re Kageyama’s spiker!”

At first it didn’t bother him. After all it was true, he was Kageyama’s spiker and Kageyama was his setter. That was a fact, plain and simple. It actually made him proud, being part of the dynamic duo a lot of people seemed to know. He would smile and nod at the mention, followed by explaining that his setter wasn’t there and that he didn’t really come. He actively ignored the knowing hm’s and the forced smiles he got in return, not wanting to think about what they meant, what went across people’s minds when he said “Kageyama’s not with me right now.” He didn’t need to know; he didn’t _want_ to know. Oh but he knew, that sometimes it was off-putting, like expecting something and only getting half of it. He knew that sometimes it was pity.

That was okay, though. When they started playing, they would see that Kageyama’s absence wasn’t a problem at all. Because it wasn’t. And it drove Hinata further, he jumped higher and spiked harder but after a while he became sloppy, erratic, his movements almost screaming “look, look, I can do it on my own.” Suddenly the games weren’t weightless, at least not for him. Now he was constantly aware of the eyes watching him, waiting on him to do something, he felt the crushing need to show off, to prove that yes, he could play volleyball even if his setter wasn’t present.

And it was a weird feeling, it usually threw him on a loop because Hinata wasn’t used to worrying about what other people thought of him. Since he started playing, he had had people asking him “can you really play?” in a condescending tone, how was this any different then?

Well, because now the phrase that followed wasn’t “oh ‘cause you’re so short” but rather “I was just asking since Kageyama isn’t around”. That rests heavily on his stomach, the fact that so many people believe that he isn’t capable of keeping up with them without his partner. But that shouldn’t matter, right? Volleyball wasn’t a game of individuals. So what if him and Kageyama made a great team, what if they played spectacularly together, that just meant they combined their abilities for something greater. It was mutual, it was _teamwork._

While that might have been true, the little comments and names and only worsened. Hinata started hearing them in his head when he was trying to do something else, when he was trying to stop worrying so much. _Of course I can play, I’ve been doing it for a while now!_ Was what he wanted to respond whenever someone asked him the same question. He tries to block it out, but the names “Kageyama’s spear” and “Kageyama’s cannon” still reach him. He tells himself they sound cool, that it doesn’t matter that people don’t introduce him as “Hinata”

When his overreactive, overturned, overheated brain comes up with “Kageyama’s piece” he can’t help but laugh bitterly. Is he really, just a piece? It almost makes sense, that people see him that way. A piece cannot move on its own, it doesn’t have a will, it doesn’t have a say. A piece needs a player, otherwise it is just an object, otherwise it doesn’t really matter. But that’s ridiculous! Kageyama isn’t his “master” or anything stupid like that, no. Kageyama is his friend, he’s his partner in crime and he’s the person that he would do anything for. Kageyama makes him feel at ease, for the first time ever he jumps into the air without fear, knowing that he’s there to set the ball into his palm perfectly, accurately. This whole thing is stupid, he doesn’t know why he stays awake at night thinking about this shit.

Even though he _knows_ all of it isn’t true, it does slowly start to seep into his daily life, into daily practice. Kageyama’s usual comments sting a tiny bit, even if he knows they’re playful. During practice it gets worst, suddenly the constant calling of come on, you can do better, you can go higher, bend your knees! Hinata focus! It becomes an ordeal, each word sits heavy on his heart and they shift into a reminder, a heavy mark on his skin of ‘I’m better, I’m better than you’. The words get twisted, simple calls of attention turn into ‘you’ll never be on my level, you’ll never reach me, I’m better. You’re nothing without me.’

He starts getting jittery when it’s his turn to serve, because he starts rambling in his head about how Kageyama has that incredible jump serve that makes him an ace player sometimes, how his own serves usually give the opposing team a clean chance to attack, and this goes on and on and on until his hand hits the ball awkwardly and he messes it up again. He doesn’t get yelled at, or scolded, he gets encouraged, but that still doesn’t make him feel okay. Because he needs to perform, he needs to prove himself.

Prove himself to who, exactly? Captain Daichi? Coach Ukai? The people he plays with in the afternoons? It’s ridiculous, it’s a bunch of nonsense and he needs to stop.

A few weeks later Takeda sensei comes into the gym with _that_ look in his eyes. The look that they all know very well by now, the look that meant something good had happened, that he had worked his ass off to get them something. This time it was a small, friendly tournament between the nearby schools. The team is filled with joy, it is a great opportunity and right before they go into the tournament for real. Kageyama is silently buzzing with content, but Hinata stays strangely quiet. So much so that the setter glances at him with a frown, wondering why his reaction wasn’t a big smile and a cheer.

They have a few close calls, but they manage to win all three of the matches and walk away victorious. They managed to win, Hinata feels good that they won, but he keeps recalling all the occasions Kageyama had to call his attention because he wasn’t focusing. With that bittersweet feeling in his gut, he decided to stay back and help clean up just to do something, anything. Kageyama lingered with him the longest but eventually Hinata told him it was fine and that he could go ahead. The setter left reluctantly, leaving Hinata alone in the gym.

He should’ve left with the others, he should’ve given into Kageyama’s request of going out to eat (something with a lot of protein, probably), he should’ve listened to his captains and not stay behind, because he heard something he definitely shouldn’t have heard.

While mopping a spot that was already clean, Hinata heard some people laughing and was compelled to follow the sound. He then realized there was a back room, and that the coaches were there chatting lively. Something inside him told him that he shouldn’t be eavesdropping on their conversation, because that was just wrong; but another part wanted to stay, to know what they were saying, whether they talked about how he played and what did they think about him. He listened on, they were surely commenting on the players. After a little while he perked up:

“Karasuno’s number 10?” one of the coaches was saying. “The tiny one with the orange hair?”

“Not gonna lie, it surprised me how high that kid can jump.”

“It surprised your team too ‘cause he was barreling through your blocks.” Another one teases, and they all laugh over the other’s complains.

Hinata gets a light tingle in his stomach at the words, and for a wild second he believes that maybe he has been worrying for nothing. That this whole shtick that was eating at him had no rhyme or reason. Then comes the ‘hm’ he knows a little too well and everything starts falling apart again.

“But he’s one of those.” The first coach speaks again. “Performs spectacularly when he’s matched with a certain player, but change his team and he’s just an average.”

“You might be right there.” Another chimes in. “We can’t deny their quick is unparalleled, but did you see Karasuno’s setter? He practically spoiled him with easy-to-hit tosses the entire match.”

“It almost seemed like he was matching up to the short one! How can that even be possible? What kind of accuracy does this kid have?!”

“It really makes you wonder how a spiker that’s so used to a prodigy setter is going to perform with someone different.”

“Can he even do it?” one of them laughed. “For what I’ve seen, the setter is doing all the work. Outside of that, the kid can jump but that’s about it.”

“He’s really no big deal without him huh.”

It feels like there is a thousand boiling stones sitting in his throat, and for a moment he wonders how he’s still breathing when his windpipe feels so constricted. He’s heard enough. Hinata silently puts the mop away, swings his bag over his shoulder and walks out of the gym. He doesn’t hear how the rest of that conversation goes down.

.

Ukai Keishin never imagined a bunch of high schoolers would call him “coach” ever, not in a million years. He liked volleyball; he made some really great memories when he was in Karasuno but that was about it. He was sure he would never be like his grandfather; he didn’t have the guts to carry a whole team on his shoulders, and honestly, he didn’t want to. He was content in his little shop, until this wild-haired teacher barged in and began to pester him about the current Karasuno male volleyball team. He had to give it to him, the guy was persistent, anybody would have been discouraged by the amount of times Ukai said no.

He even felt sorry for him, you could tell he was doing everything in his power to help those boys. Ukai had said he would coach them for a week, under the excuse that he had some unfinished business with Nekoma that he wanted gone. That was it, at least for a while. When Takeda had said “you’ll accept coaching them when you see them play” he had thought that was just another of his very creative ways to try to convince him, but dammit he had been right.

There was definitely something, something about this team and how they worked with each other that caught his eye. It was far from perfect, but for some reason Ukai found himself awake at 3 am reading about strategies and training regimes. He couldn’t put it into words, the feeling of all those eyes looking up at him for guidance. He wasn’t a softie goddammit, but something about these kids made his heart melt. He forgot about his “only for the Nekoma match then I’m done” statement, and slowly but surely became more and more attached to his players, up to the point of being their fulltime coach, making the sacrifice of waking up before the sun came up to fulfill his work duties so he could be there for daily practice. What had become of his life, and all because of a cutie with glasses.

Whether he wanted it or not, now he was committed to his team. Their wins were his wins, their troubles were his troubles. He wanted to get these kids to nationals no matter how many times he would have to pick them back up when they lost. After more than 80 losses in training camp, it was good to win a small friendly tournament. It was good for the team’s morale, even if those close calls they often had were terrible for his blood pressure.

So now he was feeling a bit cocky, entering the back room like he owned the place.

“You guys taking about my kids and how awesome they are?” he bragged, taking a long drag of his cigarette. Which he wasn’t supposed to be smoking in the first place but none of the old men mentioned it.

“Not gonna lie, you got some good harvest this year.” They told him.

“Shame they’re stuck with a youngling like you!” one of them teased. “I would beat them into better shape no problem.”

“Yeah well.” He shrugged; his mood was too good to be bothered. “We beat all of you, so I guess I’m doing just fine. Might even do it again if we meet in the real deal.”

“Perhaps, coach Ukai.” They answered. “But once that setter’s gone, your team’s over.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” he asked, frowning. He watched as they laughed bitterly and shook their heads. Why did old people have to be so condescending?

“Oh we were just taking about it. Your number 9 really is a special one, the kid’s definitely going places if he keeps playing. Wouldn’t be surprised if some recruiters had their eyes already on him for Japan’s youth and he’s what? 16?”

“15…” he answers reluctantly, a little weary of where this is going.

“Damn. Well, he’s the center piece of your team and-”

“Yeah, every setter is.” He butted in, feeling like he was about to be insulted in some way. He wasn’t entirely wrong.

“I mean everything revolves around him, you take him out and the team falls apart.”

“You do know I have another setter, right? You saw him play.” He tries to argue, but it seems and feels like it doesn’t do anything to prove his point or rather, change their minds.

“Cut the crap Ukai, we all know Karasuno is starting to gain back their old glory because of the first years, specially the setter. You might have him for 2 more years but then what? We might not see you around that much then.”

Oh now he’s mad. How dare they? How dare they talk about his kids like that?? He knows he shouldn’t yell at his elders but in that moment, he throws his politeness out the window and tells the old men exactly what he is thinking.

“What are you all even saying?! Are we playing the same sport? How awful of a coach can you be to forget that volleyball is about connecting? A single player doesn’t make the entire team, the people standing on the court do. Kageyama can’t do all the work on his own, he had the hardest time accepting that and you’re here saying this kind of bullshit! No wonder he’s never felt part of a team, when there’s people like you treating him like he’s the only one in charge of the game.”

They laughed hoarsely, shaking their heads. Ukai was always trying to keep his cool, but standing there in that room he felt his blood boil. Part of him didn’t know why he was so bothered by their words, in the end they were just a bunch of old coaches, who cared what they thought of his team? What mattered were the results, and they were probably just bickering because they lost and were bitter. It wasn’t a big deal, right?

Except it was, because those were his kids they were talking about. Specially Kageyama, who had given him so many headaches at the start, but then he had understood that he wasn’t really a spoiled child, it was just that he hadn’t been coached properly regarding his abilities. It was people like them that really shaped the kid into not having a connection with his teammates, filling his head with that kind of crap of a team is just the star player and nothing else. Ukai knew they were laughing because they thought he was just a dumb ‘youngling’ that was too passionate about coaching his first team.

“Higher ups don’t look at teams, Ukai.” They continued. “They look at individuals. For recruiters a team is just a pile with a few golden bits in it. The only one that shines in your pile is number 9, that’s just a fact.”

“The others are average, but who’s really in trouble is chibi-chan. Without the setter he doesn’t really account for much.”

“My god, what are you on about??” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. “What kind of coaches are you, honestly? Do you tell your players that they’re useless without their ace or whatever? That they’re just there to fill up the space so the star can shine? They’re kids! Some of them are literally children!”

“Come on, now…” they wanted to start again, but Ukai had had enough.

“No! they’re not only machines that pass a ball around and get you prizes, they’re human beings! And they’re too young for you to be saying stuff like that about them. I’m disgusted, you all better stay away from my team, stay away from all of them.”

He puts out his cigarette on the table in front of them, and then walks out in a fit of anger. He knows his mind is clouded; he needs to cool down before he does anything stupid. Because of his dumb luck, Takeda isn’t around to calm him with his soothing voice and convince him that everything is going to be fine with that stupidly kind smile of his.

It’s like having an itch that he can’t scratch, and he feels like he needs to punch something. He also needs a smoke now more than ever, but that was his last cigarette and he decided to put it out for the sake of emphasis and drama even though it wasn’t nearly done. Good job Ukai. Before he can think too much about it, he notices a hunched figure sitting on the pavement, and as he makes his way there, for the first time he’s glad he’s out of cigs. He doesn’t smoke in front of his kids.

“Hey.” He whispers, sitting beside Hinata. He’s hugging his knees and resting his chin on top of them, his eyes lost in the distance. He seems smaller, fragile. Ukai cannot imagine what kind of chaos is going on in this poor kid’s head. Sometimes he wondered how he could seem happy and motivated all the time when he was constantly being discouraged and laughed at. And now he saw that it wasn’t always the case. He was bound to break at some point.

“Hi coach.” He answers, and Ukai is glad he doesn’t move away from him or try to hide his troubled expression.

“Why haven’t you gone home yet?” he asks, trying his best not to pry too much. He doesn’t want to come out too strong and overwhelmed him, it’s best if he eases into the topic.

“I don’t really feel like going anywhere.” Hinata avoids his eyes and Ukai just hums. Even though he cares deeply about each and every one of the kids under his guidance, he often has a hard time finding the right words. Takeda would be so much better at this; he would manage to lift his spirits and have him return to his usual enthusiastic self, but right now Ukai has to fend for himself. He thinks hard about what Hinata needs to hear.

“You played good today.” He tells him. It wasn’t a lie to try to make him feel better, Hinata did play good matches that day. However he huffed bitterly and shook his head.

“Did I really?”

“Yeah. Sure, you made some mistakes, gave the other teams a few points with botched serves. Maybe you were a little too eager at times, but then while Noya was in and you were switched out; you took the time to collect yourself and stepped back in there being a little better. It wasn’t perfect, it never is, but you did good. You still got us a lot of points total.”

“That was just because of Kageyama.” He says tiredly, scrunching his feet. Ukai instantly knows that Hinata has definitely heard something along the lines of what the old men said earlier.

“If Asahi or Tanaka score by hitting one of Kageyama’s tosses, we say that they scored the points, right?” he tries to argue.

“With me is different.”

“How so?”

“In our freak quick, Kageyama does all the work.” He explains, and Ukai can see that he isn’t happy about it. “I don’t really control were the ball is going, I just jump with my eyes closed and Kageyama does the rest.”

“I see.” He comments, beginning to understand Hinata’s feelings a little better. “Does that bother you?”

“It didn’t use to.” He sighs. “But now I feel like I’m falling behind, that everyone is improving except me. That I can’t do anything without… I feel like I’m stuck, and I don’t know what to-” His voice breaks and he hides his face in his knees. “I feel like this world is rejecting me. I’m pushing and pushing but it doesn’t want to let me in and I-”

Hinata sobs quietly and Ukai’s heart threatens to break at the image. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t ask him anything, he simply scoots closer and places an arm around his shoulders. He cries and hiccups, and Ukai simply squeezes him against him. He lets him get it all out, knowing Hinata has been holding it inside for quite a while, putting up a front and hiding all this turmoil in his chest. The sky starts to turn a nice shady of pink, the cool wind starts to pick up, and the two just stay there with each other.

“I’m sorry.” Hinata whispers after he’s calmed down a bit, still leaning against Ukai’s side. The coach offers him a tissue so he can wipe the tear stains off his face.

“Don’t be.” He answers. “I understand. You knew volleyball was going to be a hard path for you and that didn’t stop you, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t feel like shit sometimes. However, you have your teammates to help you through the rough patches, you have Takeda sensei and… you have me.”

Hinata finally looks up at him, with his reddened eyes, and Ukai feels his heart swell. These goddamned kids, playing with his feelings, looking at him with big, grateful eyes. It really does a number on him.

“I get how you feel, you want to fight on your own.” He continues before he can get too mushy. “In volleyball, it’s all about connecting, you know that. You’re almost never on your own because you work in synch with your team. There are only two instances where you, as a volleyball player, will find yourself alone: while serving, and in midair. Spikers battle with the blockers while in the air, and that’s their own fight to win. With how high you can jump; you can be an even more powerful spiker if you learn how to control it. And well, you gotta open your eyes when you’re up there.”

“Can you teach me?” Hinata asked, the tiniest flame of hope lighting behind his eyes. Ukai felt it as a great victory, not everything was lost. Anyone was a fool if they thought that Hinata Shouyou would stop fighting and give up on volleyball.

“I know someone who can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!  
Sorry this is a tiny bit later than usual, but I wanted to try something new :)  
I did the artwork myself and the first time I do something like that (Im also fairly new to digital art so Im aware it could be better but I had fun making it :D)  
if you like it I might make more in the future, it just takes me little longer (you can also see it on instagram and tumblr if you want :)  
hope you had a great holiday season if you celebrate it, thank you so so much for all the nice comments and support and see you all next year!


	22. Can't you believe me when I say you mean everything to me?

Sugawara didn’t consider himself to be a coward. He had built a daredevil reputation within his high school years while also keeping up the image of a nice, reliable guy. For the most part, he wanted to show his partners that they could trust him, and maybe also let them know very subtly that he was down for trouble. And also that he was capable of softening Daichi so he wouldn’t be so mad, which was a very convenient skill to have. 

Sugawara didn’t consider himself to be a coward but now he was shaking right down to his bones and he hadn’t even opened his mouth yet. He was sitting with Daichi in their usual spot, just the two of them because they managed to bother Asahi into hanging out with his crush for a change. Suga had spent so much time with Daichi throughout his life that his presence was almost a given; a constant, undisturbed force in his life. He shouldn’t be feeling his stomach doing flips or his heartbeat racing as if he was in danger. 

A small thought had crawled into his mind and now he couldn’t get it out. With this being his last year, he had a lot of things to take care of, a lot of big decisions to make. He would have piles of ‘paperwork’ and when he was finally done a certain guy wouldn’t get out of his head. Suga knew that Daichi was going to be around even after they graduated, he had to be. Whatever they decided to do, their lives were already intertwined. But with those fantasies about forever and too-good-to-be-true daydreams, Suga noticed that there was no place in his heart for anyone other than Daichi. His too perfect future always included him by his side, and no one else, because he couldn’t possibly picture himself with a romantic partner that wasn’t… well, him. 

He loved Daichi, he really did, but he hated the way he would get anxious just thinking about taking a wrong step. He might not be a coward but what he was about to do could potentially ruin his friendship, or at least tarnish it in some way. What if he’s read all the signs wrong? What if Daichi hadn’t really been flirting with him for a while, what if that was just a product of his imagination, of him _wanting_ it to be that way? Then again, the side of him that craved adrenaline was slowly convincing him of taking that leap. It didn’t mean it was any less scary. 

He decided to take it slow. He loved Daichi to bits, but he knew the guy wasn’t one to take the hint very easily. When he was feeling bold and dropped a comment that couldn’t possibly be mistaken for something platonic (making his teammates look on, wondering if it was going to happen right then and there), masking it as a joke, he wondered if Daichi even understood what he was saying. That had saved his ass when he couldn’t hold his tongue, and now it was going to serve as an advantage. 

Even if he knew he was going to have to come face to face with his fears regarding their relationship, Suga decided to take it slow as a first step. Test out the waters, see how far he can really push it before Daichi either backs off or retaliates. Those two possibilities were the ones messing with his head and making him breathe all funny. 

“Dai?” he started, and his best friend turned his head to give him his attention. He was rendered speechless for a couple of solid seconds, because even though he had been this close to him countless times, Daichi just had that effect on him. His kind expression and his eyes like melted chocolate were enough to make Suga forget what he had planned to say. Now that that was out of the window, he still was determined to get it out there even if he couldn’t remember the very well-crafted speech he had in mind. “You know how um, graduation and all that is coming up soon?” 

“Ugh tell me about it.” He rolled his eyes, with that typical sentiment of a third year who is tired of hearing the same over and over again. Suga could understand. 

“And you know how there’s this… um, thing? This fair thing?” he stuttered, struggling to find the words. Daichi stared at him and chuckled, a little smile playing on his lips. 

“Are you okay, Koushi?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. It wasn’t like Suga to get flustered like that, he had always been able to talk to Daichi, but how could he not when he was looking… like that? His kind expression filled his chest with a nice sensation and made it a little hard to think. Overwhelmed, that was the right word. Suga was overwhelmed by him, by his brown eyes that showed pure honesty, that captivated him with their intense gaze. He was overwhelmed by the soft glow of his tanned skin, by how his hair looked oh so soft, by his slick lips pulled by that killer smile-

“Yeah!” he snapped out of it, shaking his head and blinking rapidly. He could not back down now, he had to say it at least to prove to himself that he could. There was an appeal about the ending of something as long as high school that made him want to do stuff on a whim, because if not now then when? “I was just wondering if… you know, we could… if you wanted! The fair, you know, me and you, us, two, to um…”

“… you and me…?” he prompted, sounding a little bit confused. Suga exhaled a big huff of air. 

“Would you like to go out with me?” 

For a couple tortuous seconds, there was only silence. Daichi opened his mouth but closed it again, his eyebrows furrowing. The pit in Suga’s stomach threatened to swallow him whole and he just prayed that he hadn’t messed it all up. If he had then he might actually throw up. Then something finally clicked in Daichi’s brain and he perked up, words spilling out and Suga could barely catch all of them. 

“Oh! Oh right the fair! Of course! We could go! The two of us! Together!” he rambled, and he himself looked a little surprised with his jumpy reaction. “I was actually about to ask you the same thing, yeah.” 

“Really now?” Suga asked, his head rested in his hands and giving Daichi an ironic look. Seeing his friend’s reaction, his blushed cheeks and his hunched shoulders, it reassured him that Daichi was just as flustered around him as he was, so he didn’t have to be so afraid. That was a good sign, right? 

“Um, yeah duh.” He answered, completely aware that he was lying through his teeth. “Because I wanted to go to the fair, but I didn’t want to go _alone_, you know? That would be weird. B-But if we um, if we go together, then we can go on the rides as a… pair and it wouldn’t be weird! So it’s perfect, yeah. I was gonna totally ask you but you um, beat me to it, that’s all.” 

“Alright.” Suga laughed, imagining steam coming out of Daichi’s red face. He went along with his lie, he actually thought it was kinda cute how he rambled like that. “Since you obviously wanted to go to the fair with me, when do you want to go?” 

After that question, he could tell Daichi’s brain had gone blank. He stood like a deer in headlights for a couple moments before coming up with a hesitant answer. 

“…now?” 

“I’m all up for ditching class, but…” he joked, and Daichi shoved him playfully before shaking his head and sighing heavily. 

“I meant today.” He clarified, crossing his arms and glaring at Suga. The setter was too distracted by the sight of his biceps pressed against his chest to really think of something snarky. “like later, a bit after school.” 

“Sure. That works for me.” He said, standing up and stretching his arms. He did not catch Daichi staring at that patch of skin that was left exposed when his uniform riled up. You know the one. Before he left for his class, Suga decided to leave a small butterfly kiss in Daichi’s cheek. He didn’t stick around to see his best friend melt into a puddle while screaming into his hands. 

.

For all Daichi knew, that whole sequence of events had been daydream. His longing for his childhood friend had reached such a level of desperation that he had gained the ability to make him undergo hyper-realistic hallucinations. That had to be it, because in what world, in what timeline did the Sugawara Koushi become a stuttering flustered mess while trying to ask Daichi, the plainest person in the world (in his eyes, because a certain silver haired third year might just disagree) to go to the fair with him. 

After a couple of minutes of him being so lost in his thoughts he actually had his attention called a few times in class, the shock started to vanish, and an involuntary smile started to pull at his lips. This was real, it had happened, he had a _date_! There was a weird feeling on his chest, but it was a nice one. It was… warm, and safe. He was simply, happy. For some blissful moments everything in his world was alright, his hands shook in anticipation and his heart was singing joyfully. Some part of him wanted to be ashamed for being so cheesy, but with the amount of stress caused by school, the team, his future; all that stimuli that he had been bombarded with for the last couple weeks, now he found it fair to give himself a break. Let himself feel the stupid teenage nerves before a date with the person he’d had a huge crush on since forever. 

It was peaceful and nice, for the grand total of around 10 to 15 minutes. Then when it all set in, that’s when he started to panic. He was thrown into the spiral of the consequences of his decisions, he had said yes, and he had fucking said _today_ so now he had to pull through with it. The idea of going on a date with Suga was so pleasing, but only because it was the confident Daichi, the guy that would hold his date’s hand, win him a stupidly sized bear at one of the games, and kiss him on top of the ferries wheel. But in the real world the Daichi that was going on the actual date was absolutely terrified of messing up, could not control his shaky hands half the time and would choke on his tongue when the beating of his crazed heart started to reach his ears. 

The team could tell something was going on. Their two captains had their heads in the clouds? It was pretty safe to assume they were thinking about each other. When practice was finally over, they walked together as they always did, both trying extremely hard not to be awkward. Suga got on the bus with a small smile and a ‘see you later’, and Daichi felt like he could just about die in that moment. 

When he got home, he let himself fall onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He took one deep breath and tried to think about his next course of action. What did you do when you finally had a date with your crush? Tell your best friend. And since Daichi’s best friend was _his date_, then he decided to tell his other best friend. He grabbed his phone, scrolled through his contact and called Asahi. Of course, he didn’t expect to get actual help from him, but he might blow some steam if they freaked out together. 

“Hey man.” Asahi picked up. He sounded like he was in bed as well, Daichi could almost picture his long limbs sprayed across the mattress. 

“Asahi, hey. Um, so, something happened.” He started, biting his lips. 

“Are you okay?” his friend asked. Was Daichi okay? Definitely not, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He was glad Asahi had caught up on his urgency. 

“I don’t know.” He responded, started to feel that fuzzy sensation in his chest again. 

“What happened?” he insisted, eager to know more than just Daichi’s vague answers. 

“Suga asked me out.” 

“he WHAT.” 

After that the conversation took a turn for the crazier side of things. Daichi had stood up and was now pacing in his room, hand buried in his hair. Asahi’s voice had gone up a few octaves and he sounded very nervous but also slightly excited. 

“Yeah he just sprung that shit on me!” Daichi exclaimed, definitely rambling at this point. “and I didn’t, I don’t- it was so sudden! I don’t know what to do!” 

“oh my God I can’t believe this is happening!!” He laughed, and Daichi could imagine him jumping on his feet. 

“What do I do???” he asked, falling dramatically onto his bed again. 

“Well what did you say???” 

“YES! I said yes, Asahi!” he exclaimed, frustrated. 

“When is it happening??” he asked, and that just sent Daichi into a spiral again because he had a date with Suga in a couple hours; and he was lying in his bed screaming about it with Asahi instead of actually doing something productive. 

“…tonight.” He murmured, thoughts racing past him at a hundred miles an hour. He feels like he needs to prepare but doesn’t know exactly how, and it was slowly driving him insane. 

“TONIGHT?!” was all he heard before chaos ensued on the other end. 

“I was panicking alright?! I didn’t know what else to say!!” he defended himself. He couldn’t expect to set a reasonable date under those circumstances. 

“That’s it.” Asahi said, and Daichi heard shuffling and just general noise. “Don’t move. We’re coming over.” 

“Oh, now? Okay alrig- wait what do you mean _we_?!” he questioned, but the call had already ended. 

.

Tanaka, Noya and Asahi stormed Daichi’s house as if there was some kind of global emergency going on. The part of him that was still conscious and fully functional was grateful that his friends were taking this as serious as he felt it was, that they were embracing this possibility and caring this much for his happiness. Because Daichi knew that Suga made him happy, and his group of friends knew it too. The other side of him however was getting even more riled up with their presence, because they just wouldn’t stop squealing like teenage girls. It was a blur of congratulations and way to go’s and Daichi got bombarded with questions that he didn’t know how to respond. 

The three guys pushed him into the bathroom and told him to get a long shower. He took the time to calm his thoughts and maybe attempt to plan what to say when he actually found himself in this date. It was a hard thing to do since he never had to think ahead with Suga, he was always able to be himself and not be afraid of saying something stupid because it was, well, Suga. But now it was different, right? And he couldn’t decide whether that was good or bad. 

When he came out of the shower in a robe, he found that his friends had raided his closet and were having a very serious discussion of what he should wear. He rolled his eyes. That was a little too much. 

“Also! Pay up, loser!” Tanaka exclaimed, opening his hand towards Noya. The shorter one huffed defeatedly and gave him a bill. Tanaka looked slightly too happy about it. 

“Excuse me?” Daichi said, because he felt he should be somehow offended. 

“I just won the life-long bet of who would ask who first.” He explained, puffing his chest out with a shit eating grin. 

“Daichi I was rooting for you man!” Noya told him, with an almost disappointed tone. Asahi was trying not to laugh and Daichi really wanted to punch someone. 

“Unbelievable.” Was all he said. 

“But I’m so excited! This is like the event of the season.” Noya continued. “It’s like your two favorite characters are finally coming together!” 

“More like they finally stopped being IDIOTS and listened to me for once.” Asahi added in, fist bumping Noya. That had apparently become a habit between the two, and it was fun to see the difference in their hand sizes. 

“Guys, what if I’m misinterpreting things?” Daichi said, giving voice to the insecurities that had been growing since this morning. 

“Textually, word for word, he said ‘would you like to go out with me?’, correct?” Tanaka started explaining. “Dude, that’s like, crystal-clear.” 

“It is very straight-forward if you ask me.” Noya commented, shrugging. 

“I don’t know…” Daichi murmured, looking elsewhere. “We go out together all the time.” 

“This time’s different. The tone’s different.” Asahi tried to convince him. “You said he got all flushed and stuttering, does that not tell you anything? That maybe it’s because he likes you?” 

“Hey, it’s okay bro.” Tanaka reassured him. “You’re just nervous. Don’t panic, you’ll do great.” 

“You love Suga, right?” Asahi asked him, and Daichi felt his heart start to beat faster. He had never said that out loud, let alone in front of other people. 

“…yes.” He answered truthfully, feeling strangely self-conscious. Then he realized that the three guys sitting on his bed like a council were all rooting for him, they all knew what Suga meant to him and they wanted him to be happy. 

“Then it’s going to be okay.” Asahi said, giving him a soft smile. It was incredible how he out of all people could be so soothing sometimes. Daichi took a big breath and got dressed, combed his hair, and stood up straight until the council gave their approval. A text from Suga ignited the room again and in no time the three of them were tailing after him as he paced from the kitchen to the hallway to the living room, screamed into pillows, and basically allowed himself to freak out one last time. 

Then he was on his way to Suga’s house and even though he had gloves, a scarf and a heavy jacket, he felt a weird kind of chill. It only grew bigger and bigger once he stood in front of the door and had to actually knock on it. He tightened his grip around the small bouquet of flowers he ended up buying on his way here. Why? He didn’t know, did it feel right? He didn’t know either! Maybe he was getting too fidgety and wanted to have something in his hands. 

He knocked firmly and waited, and then stared at the little plants in his hands. He then decided to get rid of them by throwing them into a nearby bush and hoping no one would notice. God, why was he such an idiot? Flowers? when they were going to the fair? The most inelegant of places? Please. 

He thought shit like this only happened in movies, but no, he was an idiot in real life. 

All of his complicated thoughts went out the window when the door opened, and he was met with the most beautiful guy he had ever seen in his life. He stared at him for a solid five seconds, without saying anything. Suga was dressed in a slick black coat, the cold making his lips red. His fluffy hair seemed to shine silver with the lamplights, his eyes had a glint of an unspoken feeling, hard to put into words but that Daichi understood perfectly, nonetheless. He was simply and utterly stunning. 

They were stiff at first, but then Daichi realized that this wasn’t just a handsome stranger that had asked him out, this was his best friend. As the night went on, they started talking like they used to, joking around and being general idiots around each other. Daichi even told him about Tanaka, Noya and Asahi storming his house and basically basked in the light atmosphere that Suga’s laugh made. 

Walking to the fair was a good idea, it gave them time to loosen up. On the way there, while Suga was telling him a crazy story, half of Daichi’s brain was listening and the other half was slowly, very slowly moving his hand closer to Suga’s. They already walked unnecessarily close to each other, shoulders brushing, so Daichi subtly pushed his hand closer, hooked his finger with Suga’s so softly he wasn’t sure the other guy could feel it through their gloves. He did, and it was Suga who fully intertwined their fingers and gave them a light squeeze. 

That small action was enough for Daichi’s face to grow bright red, and he was sure Suga noticed but didn’t tease him about it. Soon Suga was dragging him along excitedly, pointing at the rides and giggling like a child. Daichi could only stare at how the colorful lights reflected in his partner’s eyes. 

As his friends had predicted, he had a great time. Suga was an adrenaline junkie so he made him go into all the crazy rides, and if it wasn’t for his puppy eyes and pouty lip, Daichi would have refused to even step foot in some of them. Instead he found himself strapped to machines that flew them across the sky and even though he had a terrible fear of heights, he got through most of them by squeezing Suga’s hand. 

“You’re insane. You’re actually insane.” He murmured, feeling his entire body shake when he was suspended 50 meters in the air and refusing to open his eyes. 

“Isn’t this fun??” was Suga’s answer. Daichi could hear the smile on his voice and he was kicking his feet excitedly which made the machine swing back and forth. 

“Humans shouldn’t be this high off the ground!” He said, fear having a firm grip on his airways. Suga only laughed hysterically when they started to spin in all directions. The ride only lasted a couple of seconds but to Daichi it felt like an eternity. When they were finally on solid ground again, Suga looked untouched but Daichi’s world was spinning. He tried to walk but he tripped over his own feet like some newborn deer. 

“Got you.” Was what he heard before realizing he had indeed fallen over, but Suga had caught him before he could reach the ground. He laughed nervously because he was so close to him, he could feel his body pressed against his supporting his weight. Suga walked him to a bench and made him lie across it so his system would stop tripping. The best part of it was that he had his head comfortably rested on Suga’s lap. 

“How has your brain not been liquified like mine?” he asked, looking up. Suga had a hand buried in his hair and was softly scratching his scalp, and Daichi prayed he wouldn’t stop. 

“I’m just superior like that.” He answered, giving him a cheeky wink. Daichi laughed genuinely, a sound that only a few knew. When he finally started feeling better, he sat up and scooted closer. He rested his head on his hand and just breathed out, noticing that for the first time in quite a while he felt content. Content, and nothing else. Because it didn’t matter if they were in the noisiest part of town, with a lot of flashing lights and overwhelming atmosphere, Koushi was able to drown it all out and just give a Daichi a place where he could just be. 

“What?” Suga asked softly, because Daichi was definitely staring. 

“You’re precious.” He whispered, and watched in glee how he recoiled slightly with his cheeks turning bright pink. He should start complementing him more often. 

“You’re a tease.” He stuttered back, unsure of what to say. Daichi only chuckled, playing with a strand of his silver hair. Daichi would never know the things he did to Suga’s heart, especially when he was looking all stricken like that while curling his finger on his hair. 

“I’m so glad you asked me to come.” Daichi said. 

“Did that take you by surprise?” he joked, trying to hide the fact that he felt like a million butterflies were fluttering around in his stomach, and it wasn’t exactly because of all the crazy rides. 

“It almost gave me a heart attack, yeah.” Daichi joked right back. Suga wasn’t sure how to feel about their inability to talk about their feelings in a serious manner, but he was too happy to worry about it. 

“Well I’m glad you got through it.” He looked away, because if he had kept looking at him his heart might have just exploded. “I like you better when you’re smiling.” 

Daichi was stunned into silence. God, how could someone have the power to turn his world upside down like that? Why did Suga have that kind of effect on him? Why did he want this to never stop? It was like being shot through the heart, but in a good way. 

“Stay by my side and I’ll keep smiling for you.” He answered, and now it was Suga’s turn to look hopelessly surprised. Daichi was the first to break into an ironic smile while Suga covered his face with his hands, feeling like there was steam coming out of his ears or something. 

“That was really cheesy, wasn’t it?” Suga said, nervous laughter laced with his voice. 

“You started it!” Daichi jabbed at his side to make him squeal and just like that they were back to laughing with each other about something stupid. It was familiar, and comfortable, and they both wondered why the hell had they worried something like this would ruin their bond. Now the thought seemed to be irrelevant. 

Man, being in love was a fucking trip. 

“You know what I don’t like though?” Suga continued, perching his leg on top of Daichi’s thigh. “You think you’re just a regular guy, huh Daichi.” 

“That’s because I am.” He scoffed, leaning back into the bench slightly. Suga gave him a critical look that caught him off guard. If anything frustrated Koushi to no end was Daichi not noticing how amazing he was, how extraordinary he could be if only he embraced it. How he was kind and loving, how he made him feel safe and worth something even when he was at his worst. How could Daichi call himself a regular guy, when Suga looked at him like he hung every one of the stars in the sky? 

“No, you’re so much more than that, Daichi. Can’t you believe me when I say you mean everything to me?” 

“You’re gonna make me cry, Sugawara.” He said, actually blinking rapidly and fanning his eyes dramatically. Suga simply chuckled and placed a gloved hand on his cheek, pinching it slightly. “But I’ll keep it in mind.” 

They went to get something to eat, because that’s the logical thing to do when you expose your heart like that. They then walked back to Suga’s house, holding hands more confidently this time. When they arrived to the front of the house, Daichi decided to be a bigger idiot for the sake of seeing his date’s smile one more time, so he got the bouquet of flowers that he had discarded at the beginning of the night. Now they were covered in frost and not looking too good, and Suga found himself staring at his partner with a look of amused confusion. 

“I got you flowers.” he explained. “but then I thought it was stupid so I kinda just-”

“You’re a dumbass, Daichi.” Suga said endearingly, picking out a small flower from the bunch with his delicate fingers and then placing it neatly in his hair. “I love them.” 

Suga closes the space between them and wraps his arms around his broad shoulders, making their foreheads touch. Every sensible nerve on Daichi’s body is screaming that he should lean in, just a tad closer, softly press his lips against his. It’s something he had been dreaming about, and he wants to do it. He wants to kiss him so badly, but if that’s the case then why can’t he move? Why is he frozen in place? 

He fears Suga might take it the wrong way, he fears he might think that Daichi doesn’t like him like that. He wants to lean in and embrace him fully, he wants this to be the cliché ending to the date of his dreams. But for some reason, he’s terrified. He kisses just the corner of his mouth, and he knows Suga can feel him shaking uncontrollably. It doesn’t even count as a real kiss, he is embarrassed beyond end and wanting the earth to swallow him whole. It’s lame, and awkward, and Suga definitely doesn’t deserve this. 

Daichi didn’t know what would happen next, but he was definitely not expecting Suga to press in just a little, kissing the corner of his mouth very softly. He took his trembling hands and squeezed them firmly, guiding them towards his waist. He hugged Daichi closely, grounding him and sending a very clear message. _It’s okay._

And it _was_. Suga could tell even before he stepped closer that Daichi was a ball of nerves. He hadn’t expected anything from him, he knew how hard it was for him sometimes to express himself, how troubled he must have been with all these crazy feelings that not even Suga himself knew how to handle sometimes. So he gave him one of those hugs that just makes every inch of panic seep away from you, and it was exactly what he needed. 

They were both new with this kind of thing, both unsure of what to do next or what it would imply. But after that silent moment under a lamppost they knew that it was what they wanted. And that there was no rush, no big expectations, just the two of them walking together, trying and adorably failing at being ‘romantic’, whatever that meant. It was lame and awkward and cheesy, but it was _them_. It was okay for now. 

Daichi had been confused about his feelings for the longest time now, unable to pinpoint exactly what he felt for his best friend, the person that had been by his side no matter what, the person he would do just about anything for. That same person that had admitted to liking when he smiled, who he had gone on his very first date with. He, who had showed him his heart as it was, unafraid of what would happen next. The same guy that was standing before him with a frozen flower in his hair looking like he was the happiest man alive. Daichi admitted that his life was a mess, but there was one thing he knew for certain. In his heart, in his brain, in his very soul. 

_I love you_, he thought. And he knew it to be absolutely true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! happy new years!!  
hope you all had a good time :)  
I know I know, these two _finally_ went on a much needed date, I hope you liked it!  
always love seeing your comments, and I'm grateful for each and every single one of you that takes the time to say something nice :') Spread that positivity hell yeah   
see you in the next one <3


	23. We'll see about that

Kageyama Tobio used to be scared. Very deep down and behind his very well-crafted façade, he was scared. Scared of losing what he had been gifted over time, of the new things he had that now held a special place in his heart. He was familiar with that kind of fear, he had had it ever since he started playing volleyball. At first, he feared having a fallout: it was common for kids like him to be really good at a young age but slowly lose that outstanding ability as they got older. He was determined not to let that happen, he worked every day and harder than anyone to not fall off the curve. Then, once he started to think about volleyball in the long run, he had a fear of injuries. He had read hundreds of stories of players that broke ankles and sprained fingers and had to step out the court for months or quit playing all together. He started being careful, never skipping warmups, always aware of the limitations of his body.

But ever since he came to Karasuno and his life changed completely, he found out that not only did he yearn for the partnership of a team, he was also terrified to lose it. The deeper bond that he found with Hinata came with a special amount of fear: of him stepping out of line and him getting angry, of saying the wrong thing and upsetting him. In a weird way, Hinata taught him that his words mattered, that the way he said things had a huge influence, he taught him how to communicate better and; whether he liked to admit it or not, that ultimately made him a better setter.

But now, Kageyama Tobio was angry. He was angry because he didn’t understand what he had done wrong and was getting increasingly frustrated with the lack of explanations. Ever since Hinata walked out of their practice with no more than an ‘I’m sorry’, he hadn’t been able to sleep well at night. He had tried to reach out to him, apologize, maybe give him some space but none of that seemed to work. It was almost like Hinata didn’t want to be with him anymore, that he had finally gotten tired of Kageyama and was leaving him behind.

Of course, it was not like Kageyama _needed_ him. He knew his own strengths and how to play by them, the other guys in the team were also helping him grow, he wasn’t completely lost without Hinata. He had learned not to be lost without anyone; he knew now that it wasn’t good but to him it wasn’t the end of the world. He could go on, right?

He refused to recall that _pain_ that he had felt at first. It was like nothing he had felt before, a weird combination of heartbreak and betrayal. Eventually he had taken all those confusing feelings and shoved them deep into his subconscious, he closed his mind to everything that wasn’t volleyball, he became even more silent and bitter than before; all because he didn’t want to face what Hinata was making him feel, he didn’t want to admit that apart from being hurt he was worried out of his mind. A small part of him refused to think that Hinata would act like that just because, he knew there had to be an explanation to his weird moods and cutting responses.

Then again, his messy bundle of feelings ended up morphing into sheer anger. He started to take out that anger in game, snapping at his teammates often, hardly able to control the speed of his attacks and he even served out of bounds once in a while. He was honestly surprised that coach Ukai hadn’t sat him down yet to ask just what the hell was going on with him, why was he playing so aggressively. The other guys would try to talk to him, get him to pipe down, but Hinata would always look elsewhere without saying a word.

Kageyama told himself that his partner was being irrational, that it was _him_ who was wrong. Since he seemed to be avoiding him at all cost, Kageyama wasn’t about to go trailing after him like a dog. Even so, when he would stay in the gym after hours doing serve after serve after serve, he felt strange, like it was way too quiet. Like something was missing.

They kept that game going for a few weeks before Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore. When he snapped, he was like a whip that came crashing down on you at the most unexpected of times. He followed Hinata one day after school and grabbed him by the collar, shoving him against the gym door. In that moment, Hinata felt a jolt of fear course through him, and that put his head on a spin. He had _never_ been scared of Kageyama, he had always puffed his chest and bared his teeth at people that tried to step over him.

But right then and there, Kageyama towered over him with a murderous look in his sharp eyes, he could physically feel his energy rolling off his body in waves, so Hinata was overwhelmed and instantly knew that it wasn’t anything good. Still, he had taken his decision, he was sticking with it.

For those past few weeks that Kageyama spent brooding to himself, Hinata was training with Coach Ukai, the senior one. At first it had been hard playing against literal children, because he felt that was like stepping down instead of up, but then he realized that Coach Ukai really had some valuable lessons to teach him, and not all of them were about volleyball. He had not asked for his setter, he had not patronized him because of his height, the old man had basically taken him in as another one of his students. He had taught him the technique that he seemed to lack, he had sat down with him to explain the complicated terms and showed him what he could do in the air. It had filled Hinata with the motivation he needed, it was like Coach Ukai had found him lying on the floor crying about his misery and he patiently picked him up, dusted him off, and told him to get out there.

And now Kageyama was stepping into his life once again, as if he was somehow entitled to his time. Maybe Hinata was angry as well, deep down. He grabbed at Kageyama’s wrist and squeezed, and was amusingly satisfied when the taller guy flinched a little.

“Let go of me. Right now.” He whispered, and although Kageyama didn’t back down he did feel his grip weaken.

“I’m sick of you avoiding me.” He said, not aware that the team was now starting to notice their little scene. “Are you gonna talk to me or what?”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Hinata responded, actually struggling to not give in into his taunts and start screaming like he wanted to. No, he wasn’t like that anymore, he didn’t have to hide his insecurities behind seemingly mean remarks, now he was learning.

“You’re an idiot.” He said, clenching his teeth. “Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on instead of being a bitch about it?”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on!” he snapped, pushing Kageyama away from him and making him stumble backwards. “I got tired of always being in your shadow, of everyone thinking the only thing I can do is jump for you. I stopped doing everything you said like a good dog and now you’re mad about it.”

“Are you doing all of this because you’re jealous?!” he exclaimed, an unknown feeling seeping into his voice and mixing with his anger. “You’re jealous that I’m a better player, so you take it out on me? Grow up!”

“Yeah! I am growing up!” they were just shouting at each other at this point, and the team around them started sensing that this wasn’t like their other little fights. “But the second I stop training with you, you jump me like this as if it offends you, if anyone needs to grow up is you! Just because you’re special doesn’t mean I’m gonna follow you blindly, just because you’re a prodigy or whatever doesn’t mean you get to tell me what’s good for me!”

At that, Kageyama stayed silent. He clenched his fists so tightly that you would think he was about to punch him. Hinata also felt a weird itch in his skin, like his words were not enough to get all the anger he was feeling out of his body. The heat of the confrontation was getting to his head, his mind was in overdrive and didn’t have space for any other thought.

“I’m not doing the freak quick anymore.” Hinata stated and thanked the gods that his voice didn’t tremble. Kageyama, however, if he wasn’t showing that he was out of his mind, now he had definitely exploded.

“Is this all about the stupid quick?!” he shouted at him. “It’s just a move!! Why are you making such a big deal out of it?? What, a few weeks ago it was fine and it was _our thing_, but now it is suddenly something worth throwing our promise away for?!”

“Kageyama…” Hinata breathed out. That one had managed to get through his armor, through his determination of letting him know that he did not affect him, even if that was a lie. Now he didn’t look angry, his stance had dissolved, and he know seemed _hurt_. It wasn’t like him to be that vulnerable and Hinata sure as hell didn’t expect Kageyama to care that much about it, after all he had spent weeks telling himself that he only saw him as a means to an end.

“I trusted you.” He said, his face contorted into an expression of sorrow. That heavy show of emotions raised the alarms in Hinata’s brain. “I thought we were in this, but no, you stepped on everything we had when you walked out on me, no explanation, making me feel like _shit_ and now you get to be mad about it? Tell me how that’s fair!”

“I had to, Kageyama!” he almost cries, because he really doesn’t want to be having this conversation, let alone having to explain what he felt. “I had to do something for myself, I couldn’t continue jumping with my eyes closed!”

“And why not?! Our quick is fine as it is!” he responded, stepping forward once again. “Why would you want to change it?!”

“See, that’s the problem! How can I become better if you want me to just stay the same?” he argued, but Kageyama was already shaking his head and dismissing it. “I’m tired of people telling me that I can’t do anything without you, that I’m useless and defenseless when you’re not around. I want to be better! But you… you’re just holding me back!”

Hinata barely processed that Coach Ukai had stepped in between the two, holding them both back as they had apparently launched towards each other. Kageyama’s fist was even suspended in the air. The breath was knocked out of Hinata’s lungs. _Were you going to hit me?_ He mouthed, because he couldn’t find his voice. Kageyama closed his eyes tightly and grunted, visibly frustrated.

“Drop it, both of you.” Coach Ukai said, a firm grip on each of their shoulders. “Now is not the time to be arguing like this, we have the tournament coming up. All of your teammates have been working their asses off to do good in this competition and you don’t get to hinder our performance because of a fight between you two. We’re going out there as a _team_, understood?”

The two boys huffed, coming down from the high of their emotions and staring into each other eyes. Hinata was the first to step back, breathing heavily and trying to regain his ground. Kageyama’s eyes still looked frantic, and there was definitely something wrong with his demeanor but after a moment he too dissolved his aggressive stance.

“I asked you a question.” Coach Ukai said, voice stern and demanding.

“Yes, coach.” The two of them answered, voices hushed. As soon as their coach’s glare softened Kageyama took off almost running. Hinata tried to ignore the weird twist in his chest and plugged his earphones in, turning the volume all the way up in hopes of drowning the sound of Kageyama’s voice saying those words still repeating in his brain.

.

Coach Ukai watched the two players leave in opposite directions. He sighed heavily, feeling a small prick of fear in the bottom of his stomach. Gosh, he remembers being nervous before a big tournament like the one that was coming up, he knows that things to get hairy before the date, but this was getting out of hand. Now he imagines his own coach back then having to deal with their antics and acquires a newfound respect for the man. He also doesn’t notice Takeda sensei silently coming up to him, and just his presence pressing onto his side is comforting.

“And how are you feeling?” he asked the teacher, subconsciously leaning back against him

“I might just be sick with how nervous I am.” He laughed slightly. Ukai liked that sound. “Can’t imagine what they must be feeling.”

“I hope they’ll be okay…” he murmured, letting his true feelings show for once. Takeda pushed his glasses up in that cute way of his and smiled ironically.

“Those two always find a way back to each other.” He affirmed, and then tugged at his sleeve slightly. “Come on, you need something to eat. My treat.”

For once, Ukai let himself be guided by the advisor. There was nothing more he could do after all, the two of them just had to figure things out themselves.

.

His parents were slightly surprised when Kageyama got home early. Normally he would stay out practicing way into the afternoon, but that day he came home with a distressed look on his face and just locked himself in his room. He didn’t bother to take off his sweaty practice clothes, he simply flopped face down on his bed, got a pillow and screamed into it. Actually screamed into one of his pillows until he felt like he was suffocating. He punched the mattress, and a weird combination of a grunt and a sob escaped his lips. He hated this, he hated everything about it, he hated the feeling of being choked by absolutely nothing other than his own mind.

He had a tournament coming up, with his team, he was finally going to play against other schools in an official competition, which is what he had wanted all this time but now it was almost all ruined because of his stupid fight with Hinata. He hated that he felt miserable, that the loneliness he felt made him wonder how he had ever thought he could make it all on his own. How could he have been so egotistical back then, when now he was lying on is bed all choked up because one of his teammates raised his voice at him.

Gosh, but it was so much more than that! And thinking about it, Hinata was probably off practicing with his new setter or whatever. He was probably having fun without him, because hell, he didn’t _need_ him. And neither did Kageyama, obviously, but that didn’t erase the fact that it _hurt_. He asked himself why was this such a big deal, was he really that selfish that he was mad that Hinata was practicing with other people? That couldn’t be it. Hinata had been playing friendly matches with people from other schools for a while now, that wasn’t the issue.

He reflected hard on Hinata’s words, how he seemed so pained about being ‘in his shadow’. But to Kageyama that didn’t make any sense! Sure, when it came to technique and experience, he was above him, but when they played together they were _equals_. Hinata couldn’t spike if Kageyama didn’t set, and Kageyama wouldn’t set if Hinata was there to spike it. They needed each other, they _trusted_ each other.

Maybe Kageyama just wasn’t cut for this. Maybe he was doomed to be a solitary player, consoled only by his own ability in volleyball but not really able of having a deep connection with someone. He thought he had that with Hinata, he _felt_ their bond was special, but now he felt like that had all gone down the drain and he couldn’t even blame someone for it. Kageyama knows he should talk things out, but he doesn’t trust himself not to lose control like he did earlier that day. What had happened to him? He had always kept his emotions under folds and now he felt like he might just explode if he faced Hinata again.

He covered his face with his hands and sighed into them. Why did this have to happen with the tournament right around the corner? Talk about timing. He was slightly afraid of affecting the team’s performance, because if he was the starting setter it was crucial that he kept a cool, collected head. He was the opposite of cool and collected right now.

Kageyama Tobio laid in bed with his heart full of pain, unaware that his partner was in the exact same situation.

Hinata had told Coach Ukai senior that he just wasn’t feeling it and couldn’t make it, he would deal with those consequences later. He had thought that confronting Kageyama would make him feel good, and it would have if he hadn’t seemed so hurt by it. At this point, he didn’t know exactly who was in the wrong, that line was starting to blur with all the awful things they said to each other.

Still now he found himself staring at his ceiling, wondering how the hell was he going to get out of this one. Kageyama wasn’t exactly the best at expressing his feelings, but Hinata was no better. If only they could stop being stupid teenagers and fix things instead of shouting at each other. It was like his rational brain just shut down whenever he had to talk about the things that had affected him so much. He prayed that they could put it all behind them for the tournament, because if Hinata wanted to win, the thought of winning with Kageyama and the team was even better.

The two fell asleep with their troubled hearts, but still thinking about each other.

.

Needless to say, Karasuno was a bit worried going into the tournament. They had a lot of expectations and a name to live up to, that meant they had to shake off the ‘flightless crows’ reputation. There was a huge amount of stress in the air, most of it radiating from Hinata. His teammates had tried all sorts of things to try to calm his nerves, but after a while it became evident that there was nothing they could do. It was his first official match and it wouldn’t be his last one, so he had to get used to the pre-game anxiety.

However, it didn’t help him that Kageyama was so distant from him. Hinata almost wanted him to tell him to pull himself together or something along those lines, the silence felt a little too out of place. The two hadn’t really spoken ever since they lashed out at each other; during practice they only exchanged a few words and only if it was absolutely necessary, and now Kageyama was sitting on the opposite side of the bench instead of by his side.

Despite their evident mood, it was like the two had agreed to put it behind them for the sake of the game. At first they had had trouble synching and that started to cost them points, but then as the game progressed they slowly clicked together again. The team also got to see Hinata’s huge improvement, result of his training sessions with coach Ukai senior. While the others complemented him on his newly acquired skills, Kageyama stayed silent. The only reaction that he got out of him was when he jumped and opened his eyes on the last second, just in time to redirect the ball and get it through the blocks. Kageyama looked… surprised, but didn’t comment on it.

The team managed to win against both Tokonami and Date Tech, and was currently warming up for their next match. You would think Hinata would have gotten over his nerves at this point, but seeing who their next opponent was in the charts threw him on a loop once again. They all had fallen silent at the sight, and with good reason. Aobajohsai was one of the candidates to win the entire thing after all.

If the team had been shocked and scared, Kageyama was a whole other story. He had gone pale and swallowed nervously, breaking the composure he had shown in the last two matches. Even when they were waiting for the court to be ready for them, Hinata could see something was wrong with the setter. He was squeezing his hands together hard enough to make them turn white, and his glaze was fixated on the floor. Hinata wanted to go sit by his side and comfort him, but he felt like if he did that Kageyama would shove him away.

Despite the awkward feeling between the two, once they were walking down the hallway Hinata got closer to him, just close enough for Kageyama to hear him.

“Are you okay?” he asked. He had to, Hinata couldn’t just pretend he wasn’t worried about his friend, he couldn’t let Kageyama think that he didn’t care about his feelings just because they had fought harshly. He had also expected him to cuss him out, tell him to leave him alone or something like that. Instead Kageyama let out a shaky sigh and looked elsewhere.

“I’m terrified.” He admitted, and Hinata had to fight the urge to place his hand on his back and rub soothing circles on it. He felt like it wasn’t his place to do that, not after what had happened. God, they needed to fix this, Hinata couldn’t possibly go on like this. Despite everything, he understood.

For Kageyama it wasn’t just the fear of facing a very strong opponent, it was someone in particular on that team. Hinata knew about Kageyama’s complicated history with Oikawa Tooru, basically because he had bothered him into spilling it. He knew the year-long rivalry they had, but he was also aware that behind all that was a tiny Tobio being rejected by someone he looked up to. He had been talked down, shouted at, mocked; and although he retaliated some of that, deep down he was still a kid that wanted to learn from someone much older and experienced than him and got casted aside with harsh words.

“I’m gonna jump with my eyes closed.” He whispered. Kageyama looked at him directly for the first time that day, and frowned slightly. “I tried my new techniques with Tokonami and Date Tech and they worked for the most part, but I’m not gonna risk anything now, not with the Grand King here.”

“Okay.” He answered simply, but Hinata noticed some of the tension in his shoulders disappearing. Now wasn’t the time to have the long conversation they needed to have in order to fix things, but at least he wanted to let him know that he wasn’t angry anymore, that they had to play at their full potential. Hinata knew how much this match meant to Kageyama, so he wanted to reassure him that he was there with him.

“Will you toss for me?” he asked carefully, testing how close he could get to what they used to have before all the mess they got into. Hinata was painfully aware that he hadn’t answered Kageyama’s ‘do you trust me’, he knew that walking out like that had been wrong. He knew he hurt him, badly, and that he needed to apologize properly but for now he was calling a truce. Just for the game, just so they could win.

“Yes, I will.” Kageyama answered, and just like that Hinata’s doubts were erased.

They walked close to each other and entered the court. Seijoh was already there, but both Kageyama and Hinata avoided looking over. Kageyama personally felt like he had swallowed a bunch of stones, he kept moving his hands to prevent them from falling asleep, and it was like he had to put in a physical effort not to let his body collapse. He doesn’t recall feeling like this ever since he started playing volleyball, but then again this situation is a first.

“Well well well~” he hears him sing, and the sound is enough to make his hairs stand on end. “If it isn’t Tobio-chan, we meet once again.”

He looks up and there he is, Oikawa Tooru standing before him with a cocky grin and a malicious glint in his eyes. He hasn’t seen him since middle school, and even if he hates to admit it, he can’t help but be stunned by his now developed figure. He’s as charming and careless and he remembers, he still carries himself like he owns the place and his aura is filled with confidence and strength. He’s still everything Kageyama wants to be, he’s the head of the team, the axis, he’s a player that has won countless times and takes pride in it. The whole image takes his breath away and makes his stomach twist with a bundle of emotions he doesn’t even want to begin to untangle.

“Glad you made it this far darling, couldn’t let anyone beat you but me.” Oikawa says, and Kageyama glares a hole through his skull.

“Ignore him.” He hears Hinata say, actually pulling on his wrist and guiding him away from the guy. “Don’t let him get to you, that’s what he wants.”

That’s way easier said than done. Still, Kageyama takes his eyes away from his biggest rival and sets them on his biggest ally instead. Hinata stays close to him all through warmups, going through the motions with him and patiently correcting him when he gets a little too eager and tosses too fast. Everything else is drowned out, the noise doesn’t exist as long as he keeps his eyes on Hinata’s. It actually calms him down, and once they start communicating silently, he finally feels himself regaining his composure. _Don’t worry, look at me. Keep your eyes on me. Focus. We can do this._

In the blink of an eye the two teams are standing in front of each other, and the match is about to begin. Kageyama finds himself in Oikawa’s spell once again, it seems like no matter how hard he wants to hate him there’s still a bit of admiration mixed in there.

“I can’t tell you how glad I am that we're on opposite sides of the net.” He says, the look on his eyes appearing to be bloodthirsty. He notices Iwazumi rolling his eyes at his captain’s antics. Apparently, the Oikawa Tooru has been waiting to play him, he is eager to go against him and further show him that he’s better, that he still cannot surpass his ‘mentor’. He’s telling him that he’s gonna go all out, and Kageyama knows he’s not joking around. Some part of him is glad that Oikawa takes this as seriously as he does. It’s and all or nothing, one wins and one goes home. Setter versus setter. Oikawa laughs and gives him a grin. “I can finally grind your face into the dust.”

Kageyama lets a big huff of air out and stands straighter. He would have been terrified, he was actually a few minutes ago. But now he stands before him with no fear, because he can feel every one of his teammates surrounding him. He isn’t alone.

“We’ll see about that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
this is a little bit late, but here's the new chapter as we all freak out about season 4 coming out ｡゜( °Д° )゜｡  
hope you had a great day today and thank you thank you thank youuu for your amazing support <3 :D


	24. I trust you too

Very few people thought Karasuno’s run that year was going to be different. Being paired with such strong teams from the very beginning was a heavy weight the public didn’t think the boys could carry. And yet they stood there, strong, going up against Aobajohsai with all the might they could muster. People expected them to fall behind such a good candidate for nationals, but the two teams were actually going head-to-head. Despite the fact that they hadn’t let a big gap appear in the score, they were still one step behind. Every point they got Seijoh would take right back, so really Kageyama felt like they were not advancing. One step forward and one step back.

For Kageyama this match was incredibly important, not only to him as a player but on a personal level as well. He needed to win, he needed to prove that he had grown and changed beyond his ‘mentor’s expectations. He knew that going against Seijoh was going to be hard, but not like this. He became hyper aware of everything going on around him, how his teammates moved and how the blocks arranged on the other side. He also had to pay attention to Oikawa in case he pulled a setter dump, he had to calculate where Hinata was coming from and at what speed, if he even was coming up. He had to be careful not to block Noya’s vision too much, to give his spikers enough time to recover between attacks, to jump in time when he had to block. Kageyama was overwhelmed with that much input coming insanely fast.

It almost felt like he was holding a shield and Oikawa kept striking it with more and more force each time, attacking him from all directions and trying to break his concentration with snarky comments. The battle was as mental as it was physical.

Just when they were starting to take somewhat of an advantage, the rotation had Hinata in the back when Oikawa was serving, so he would target him with a sly smile and cut their momentum. It was really getting on everyone’s nerves, he couldn’t imagine Hinata’s own frustration being targeted like that with serves he couldn’t receive.

Kageyama felt his heart’s quickened pace in his skin, blood rumbling in his ears, feet twitching slightly when he was standing still. He thought none of it, but that slow build-up was starting to get to him. It was Kageyama’s turn to serve, Seijoh always tensed up their defenses whenever he was in the back. They knew their captain wasn’t the only one with a killer jump serve. He was almost glad when he had to fall into that position, it gave him a direct chance to attack.

He can still remember being an absolute reck when he had to stand on his own, because he was sure they would instantly kick him out if he messed it up. Kageyama had gotten over his fear of serving years ago, with time he had become absolutely confident to do it without hesitating. His moves were mechanic, he had done the run up and jump so many times that it was practically engraved in his brain. What can be so nerve-racking about serving other than the fact that you can singlehandedly fuck up, is how you can feel how a serve goes the second it touches your palm.

Kageyama landed heavily on his feet. _Out of bounds_, he thought even before the ball fell all the way into the back of the room, startling a few people. He mentally kicks himself from letting his rush mess up that opportunity. What was more aggravating than his own thoughts was hearing Oikawa whistle ironically.

“Damn Tobio!” he says, looking over his shoulder obnoxiously. “Seems like your bootleg version of my jump serve is getting to be a little too much for you. Try not to send it to space next time, I actually like when we receive it.”

“Jesus Christ.” He heard Iwazumi sigh underneath the vocal support from his own teammates, and the game resumes.

.

Ukai Keishin had never been more stressed in his life. On the outside he was sitting down on a bench, eyes captured by the match in complete silence with his hands together. On the inside however there were several alarms going off, everything seemed to be on fire, and he was in that weird trance of being too overwhelmed to move. He felt powerless. He was straining so hard whenever that ball was in play, and with the rallies getting longer and longer he was sure he was going to end up developing a stress ulcer.

He knew the amount of pressure that rested on his kids’ shoulders, he could see them slowly cracking. He told himself he was going to use his time outs strategically, but he couldn’t bear to see them so stressed he had to give them a break from time to time. Despite that, he could see the physical strain of the spikers being more and more tiring, Daichi and Noya’s arms slightly trembling from receiving those rocketing balls over and over again. They weren’t used to this and they had played two matches to full sets, and with this one extending with a deuce, things were not looking good. They were overheated and overworked, and part of Ukai wanted this to be over no matter the result.

Despite that, there was an even bigger force dragging them forward in the form of Kageyama. It seemed like the longer the match went on the faster he went, his attacks becoming harder, erratic and sloppy at times. He was cranking up the revolutions and the team was having a hard time keeping up with him. It also increased the amount of tension they had to deal with, and in no time they were all starting to panic.

“Guys, slow down!” he shouted, hoping to lessen the atmosphere’s weight even in the slightest. Who worried him most was Kageyama, now that he was breathing heavily and hyper-focused. Speed was a tricky thing to handle, it was a drug. Kageyama’s eyes were going crazy, he must be high from all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Ukai remembers what his grandfather used to tell them when they got into that trance.

_Speed chokes your enemy, but it also tightens the rope around your neck._

“You have to pull him out.” Takeda sensei was saying, shaking his arm and looking like he too was on the verge of a breakdown. “Get him out of there before he goes further into that overdrive, if not he’s gonna drag the others into the ground and we’ll lose.”

“I know.” He answered between his teeth. He eyed a certain someone that had been watching from the sidelines and knew what he had to do. “Sugawara.”

“Yes coach?” the guy approached him. His deep brown eyes showed he too was concerned about how things were happening in the court. He knew that something needed to be done, he was probably scared out of his mind but still kept his composure. Right then and there Ukai was insanely grateful he had someone like him on the team.

“I need you to go in. Change that pace, bring them down. I’m sure you’ll know how.” He told him, and Suga nodded as he started to warm up. The change of players gave the team a short pause, and most members let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t nearly enough to calm their burning muscles, but it was something.

Suga went into the court like a huge breath of fresh air. He teased them lightly and smiled lovingly like only he knew how to, and in no time, he was in synch with everyone. Ukai often forgot how he had been playing with them for years now, and how he had that kind of trust that had to be built on solid partnership. Slowly but surely, they got better, starting to get points using Suga’s strategies that required thoughtful coordination more than speed. They had taken a blow, but they were coming to terms once again and squaring up to the challenge.

He trusted them enough to divert his attention to the kid sitting next to him. Kageyama was staring at his shoes, his pupils were full-blown, and he was trembling underneath a thick coat of sweat. Ukai wondered how long he could have gone on like that before collapsing under his own weight. He took time to cool him down, get his boiling blood to stop resonating in his ears. After a while his hands stopped shaking, although he kept them clasped together at his lap.

“Do you know why I pulled you out?” he asked carefully. Kageyama took a deep breath.

“…I wasn’t listening.”

“Exactly.” Ukai said. He wasn’t listening, and not only to his commands but he also wasn’t listening to his teammates. It was a good thing that he could recognize his mistakes, it showed Ukai that he had truly grown as a player. “I need you to calm down, watch your senpai play for a while.”

Kageyama flicked his eyes up to Suga, watched his every movement, how his attacks were carefully calculated without requiring that lighting speed Kageyama felt was needed to get past Seijoh’s defenses. Everyone on the court matched up to his rhythm, he was guiding them carefully and maintaining their focus even in the longer rallies. Suga could keep everyone with a cool head, and when he managed to do a setter dump right in front of Oikawa, Kageyama was beyond thrilled. He was truly impressed with how his senpai handled the situation, and he aspired to have that kind of connection with his teammates. Someday.

“Are you better now?” Coach Ukai asked him after some time, when he could sit there without buzzing and was no longer in that frenzy that had taken over him. He nodded, breathing in and out slowly and telling himself he was in control. “Seijoh has adapted to Suga’s plays. We can hit them with the quick now, force them to a halt. You ready to go back in?”

“Yes coach.” He answered, and started rolling his wrists. This time he was determined not to lose his head out there; now he realized that, as important as this match was to him, it was more important to the team so they could move forward. He needed to win not so he could get rid of the spine that was Oikawa’s superiority, but because he wanted to continue winning with _his team_. Kageyama had always dreaded being switched out, to him it meant that he was doing something wrong, that he wasn’t performing as he should and the thought was terrifying. Sitting there with coach Ukai made him realize that it was what needed to be done, considering the circumstances of the team.

“Hey, look at me.” Coach Ukai called him. He stared into his eyes and took a deep breath with him. He didn’t feel put down, he felt reassured. “You’re in control, I trust you to keep it, yeah?”

“…Yeah.” He whispered, and Ukai gave him a proud smile that shook his heart a little bit. He sent him in again and this time he didn’t pay attention to anything but his teammates welcoming him despite the hellish frenzy he had put them through. He felt warm, and also prepared. For the first time it wasn’t about him, he stopped being an individual and connected with the hive mind of the team, working in synch with them, feeling their moves as his own, communicating silently. He felt at ease, because now he was part of a whole.

He wasn’t alone.

.

Nishinoya wasn’t sure how he was still standing. Some part of him despised whoever created the deuce rule, because he was absolutely and utterly exhausted. His arms felt sore and his legs were shaking with just the effort of keeping him on his feet, but like hell was he giving up. He would brace himself with each serve from their enemy, ready to launch himself onto the floor to save that ball with any part of his body.

Sweat was trailing down his face, he could feel his hair uncomfortably sticking to his skull and his breathing was rapid and shallow. He was trying to concentrate because they couldn’t give Seijoh this point or else everything would be over. That thought was lightning fast, he couldn’t afford to stop for too long on it. Take it one point at a time, he needed to give his team this opportunity, he was their guardian, he always had their backs.

His eyes could barely keep up with the ball, but he saw it bounce off Tsukishima’s outstretched arms and into their court. In a second he was moving, diving for it with the entire length of his body. He didn’t care about the sharp pain that went up his spine when he collided with the ground, he didn’t care about the burn in his skin as he slid on the floor, he could only think about giving the ball a little tick upwards, just touching it. And he did, graced it with his knuckles, felt the harshness of it. He also watched the ball fall in front of his eyes as he was milliseconds too late.

Noya heard the roar of the crowd, but on his side of things everything was awfully silent. He stayed down, barely lifting his body off the ground but keeping his eyes away from everyone. He panted, still not really able to feel anything. He knew everyone was staring at him, and he refused to look up; he couldn’t bear to see the emotions in his teammates’ eyes. He felt it like a pang, a deep sense of shame in his stomach. Before he could really make a sound, he felt a pair of strong arms pick him up, carefully bringing him to his feet.

Noya still didn’t look at Asahi, he couldn’t bring himself to do it mainly because he somehow knew that his pretty warm brown eyes would be filled with concern. He didn’t want to deal with that feeling right now. Even if Noya refused to look at anyone, he felt them all carefully place a hand on his shoulders, on his back, he heard a few whispers and that’s when he decided that his teammates at least deserved to be looked in the eye.

“I’m sorry.” He said, to all of them, not aware that there were thin tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Don’t.” Daichi said, as he motioned all of them to line up and bow. As Noya stared at his shoes, head bowed in respect, he let himself feel the bitterness in his mouth, the urge to kick and scream at everything; he let the feeling consume him and all his other thoughts. He also let his own self hatred lash out, he let that hateful part of him tell him how he could have saved that one ball, how he could have enabled the team and they could have won if only he wasn’t a useless libero.

He swore under his breath, clenched his teeth and cried tears of anger, feeling absolutely responsible for the fact that they were leaving the court and going home empty handed. The other guys weren’t saying anything, they were all silent as they changed, slowly but surely cooling down. Noya couldn’t imagine the internal turmoil going on in is his partners’ head, the atmosphere was super charged with a weird sensation of uncomfortableness, of wanting to pick at your own skin. If Takeda sensei hadn’t come into the room to kindly usher them out, the team would have stayed frozen in the locker room without knowing what to do next. It was Takeda sensei who spoke to them in a soft, calm voice, it was him who guided them all to a restaurant, had them sat in a long table and placed big plates of food in front of them.

The teacher prompted them to eat as much as they wanted, and so they slowly started to snap out of their weird trance and began moving again. After dinner Noya felt full but not satisfied, the fatigue had set on his bones and now he just wanted to lay down for hours, maybe a couple days. Noya loved his tiny body, he felt swift and agile. Now he felt heavy, useless. If only he had been faster, if only his senses would have been sharper, he couldn’t get the thoughts out of his head. In the blink of an eye he found himself in the back of the bus that would take them all home.

They were still not talking, but as he sat there in his seat, drowning in the awful feeling of defeat, he saw two figures approaching him. He dreaded a conversation in that moment, but the two guys simply sat at either side of him. Tanaka pressed himself firmly against his side and Asahi rested his head on top of his, both of them squishing him in some kind of comfort sandwich. Noya let out a shaky sigh and was thankful to the gods, letting himself finally relax into the warm of his two friends. He felt like shit right then, but maybe it would be okay.

.

Daichi had been weirdly serious ever since that last whistle sounded. He had looked up into the gym lights and sighed, simply wiping the sweat off his face. Tanaka had doubled over with his hands on his knees, trying to regain his breath. Noya was on the floor and Asahi was by his side, Hinata had fallen earlier trying to block and was still sitting in the middle of the court, Kageyama was standing in front of the net, eyes locked with Oikawa. Suga had to watch his friends as the curtain dropped in front of them, telling them the show was over. He had to watch something behind Daichi’s eyes break, he physically felt his stomach drop and if it wasn’t for the rules he would have left his square and held all of them close.

He wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words, instead he joined them in the little circle they made around Noya. Suga knew the libero was blaming himself for everything, and he also knew that nothing he could say could make him feel better, at least not in that moment when the wound was still so fresh. He turned to Daichi, worried out of his mind and also carrying the heavy realization that it was really over, that that could be their last tournament if they decided to leave the team.

All through dinner and the bus ride Daichi was silent. He had somewhat helped Takeda sensei, wearing his composed captain mask and helping everyone gather their things and put everything in order. When Suga sat down with him in their usual spot, Daichi was looking out the window and his gaze was absent. Not so long after, Suga noticed his eyes were watering. He placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed, silently comforting him in any way he could even though he felt like crying himself. They both ended up resting against each other and sobbing quietly.

.

Kageyama was no stranger to losing. It was something that came with the years of playing and with hundreds of matches, both serious and friendly alike. However, he doesn’t remember defeat feeling like this. More than oh, we lost, he feels like a failure. Like he failed his team, the team that had his back and carried him along with them. It was a completely different kind of pain, icy claws that wriggled in his stomach and sat heavy on his throat. He knew this time it was different, this time there was so much more at stake, so much more than just his pride.

He didn’t hear Oikawa’s words, if he even had said anything. He just knew that he had won, that he was a better setter, that his team trusted him and he trusted them. He had rubbed it in his face and now he was leaving him behind in the dust. For Oikawa it had just been another bracket in the charts, for Kageyama it had been a full stop.

Hinata was aware of this even if Kageyama hadn’t uttered a word. He could see the storm building in his deep blue eyes and was somehow concerned of what that would be like unleashed. He hadn’t seen Kageyama lose, ever. In his mind he was always the winner, in his thoughts he was always coming out on top of any challenge. Now, after coach Ukai let them have a few minutes before meeting in the gym, Kageyama had disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Hinata had turned around as everyone was dissolving the little circle they had made to wait for instructions once they were off the bus, he had looked around him for his partner, but he was nowhere to be seen. He decided to go find him, anything that would distract him from the fact that he had been ignoring his own feelings until then. He didn’t want to pay attention to the brewing emotions on his chest, instead he gave his brain a task to complete and focus on. The advantages of having a simple mind.

He wandered the school through every place he could think off, the classroom, the bathroom, the back of the building where all the vending machines were (he half expected to find him buying milk or something), the cafeteria, the tables out in the garden that they frequented on breaks. No Kageyama. Finally he made his way back to the gym, wondering if he was hiding there in the little cart where they kept all the balls in. Hinata had swept the building twice now, dragging his shoes against the floor and making them squeak. He entered the club room again, and then noticed that the little supply closet door was slightly ajar.

And lo and behold, curled between the brooms and other random crap shoved in there, was Kageyama. He shielded his eyes with his fringe when Hinata opened the door to step in, and then much to his surprise he closed it again behind him. That closet was a tight space, Hinata moved towards him and knocked a few things by doing so. Still, he managed to plop down besides Kageyama, who was still facing away.

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t question why the hell was Kageyama hiding in the supply closet, hugging his knees in completely darkness. He didn’t think he was crazy, or weird, he just sat there with him, the only sound being the in and outs of their breathing.

Kageyama had cowered away in that packed place because he felt exposed and overwhelmed. Suddenly the vastness of the gym because too much, the ceiling was too tall, and the walls were too far from him. The sounds were thundering in his ears, the lights were hurting his eyes and the air was pricking his skin. He wanted to get away from all of it and that’s how he ended up in a dark, enclosed space where nothing made a sound. He felt less overstimulated there, if that made sense. He had thought nobody would find him there, and he was wrong.

“Kageyama.” Hinata spoke up finally, his voice was steady and barely above a whisper. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t respond, he couldn’t find his voice. He was also glad that it was so dark that Hinata couldn’t see his reddened eyes or the stains in his face. He felt as if he opened his mouth everything would come out, even the little details that he’d rather keep to himself, the facts that made him squirm with disgust and feel utterly miserable. It wasn’t just about them losing a match, it was oh so much more than that. It was a bundle of emotions that he was tired of carrying around, exhausted to no end while trying to figure it out. The team and how responsible he felt for it, his feelings towards Hinata and how much he had hurt him, his own regrets and past demons that wouldn’t leave him alone, it had all come crashing down finally and Kageyama didn’t want anyone to see him like that, not even Hinata.

“Leave me alone, Shouyou.” He whispered, but there was no malice in his voice. It was a feeble attempt to push the other way, not wanting to get him involve in his own mess. Hinata, however, saw through his lie.

“You know I’m not going anywhere.” He assured him, inching closer just slightly. “We’re both going to rot away in this closet if that’s what you need.”

God, why did he have to play with his emotions like that? Why was it that one day they were at each other’s throats with genuine anger, and then the next they were pressed together and their words were soft once again? Kageyama was tired of that rollercoaster. After a few seconds of silence he gathered the courage to say what he had meant to say in the moment it had happened.

“I wasn’t going to hit you.” He knew Hinata understood what he was talking about. Kageyama didn’t know what had taken over him that day, he felt things that he could barely control but seeing Hinata recoil back from him had been a slap to the face. A call of attention of yes, Kageyama was hurt and in pain, but he was also hurting the person that he… well, loved. And he shouldn’t have let Hinata go home with the idea that had coach Ukai not stepped between them Kageyama would have hurt him physically. “I… I don’t know why I raised my fist like that, but I wasn’t going to hit you, I swear. I would never do something like that to you, Hinata, please…”

“I believe you.” He said, and it was like a weight was lifted off his shoulder and breathing became a little easier.

“I’m sorry, you know.” He started, playing with his hands nervously. He might as well fix one of the things that was troubling his mind. He wasn’t good with words, but he needed to be clear with Hinata, so that there was no doubt in his mind, he would force himself to speak up to matter how hard it seemed. “For what I put you through. I didn’t know… I didn’t see what was going on with you and I should’ve, I dunno…”

“I did some pretty bad things to you as well.” Hinata admitted, scratching his head with the same nervousness as his partner. “I shouldn’t have left you in the gym that one time… I should have been there for you.”

“Hinata…” he piped up, shaking his head. “I should have understood.”

“I should have understood you too.”

They laughed, a bitter ironic huff of laughter because they just kept apologizing over each other. It was a weird situation to be in, specially in a supply closet, but Kageyama was sure that things would look up at least a little. He was glad Hinata was a persistent dumbass and hadn’t backed down even with the uncertainty he was facing, he was glad that even after their fight he had come to find him when he disappeared. He was glad he was sitting there with him as they bore their hearts to each other.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m putting you down, okay?” Kageyama continued, this time it was him who inched closer. “I saw what you can do, and… it’s better. It’s so much better.”

“Th-thank you…” he heard Hinata mutter, and if it hadn’t been dark he would have seen him blushing. “… I guess you need to know that I do value your promise. Our promise, I mean… okay? I’m over what other people say about me, I’m over letting it get between us. If I know the truth then that’s enough.”

_Doesn’t mean the world isn’t going to see you shine someday_. Kageyama thought. They talked for a while, about how it felt to lose, about what was next. Although it was mostly Hinata doing the talking, he did stop to ask him and know what he thought, what he felt. Slowly they started feeling comfortable with each other again, finally Kageyama was able to be vulnerable with him and show him how troubled he was, even if it was through hushed words and stuttered sentences, even if his voice choked and broke sometimes. He told him it disgusted him to think that Hinata felt like he was only using him. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, the truth of how much Kageyama needed Hinata as well. He told him about his rivalry with Oikawa and how it affected him in more ways than one, about all those times his words had hurt him more than he let on. Hinata listened, and didn’t judge. Kageyama had tensed up again, but somehow Hinata managed to wiggle his way into Kageyama’s arms, hugging him tightly.

Kageyama wasn’t a very physical guy, but goddammit did it feel good. He enveloped Hinata as much as he could, curling his whole body against his, seeking the warmth and comfort he provided. They stayed there in silence, intertwined, and slowly both began to heal.

“I trust you.” Hinata said. The last time he had left without answering, and as much as that hurt Kageyama was now moved. He somehow had the certainty that if he had Hinata then things wouldn’t be so bad after all. That they could count on each other, pick each other up, and move forward together. That meant the world to him, and he wondered how he had gotten so lucky to have someone like Hinata by his side. He was the calm in the middle of the storm, it was Kageyama’s little piece of heaven on earth. For the first time that day, he smiled.

“I trust you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey...  
so I totally fucked up my upload schedule, Im so sorry ლ(´ڡ`'ლ)  
I recently started college so this week has been frantic, but I will do my best to bring you the chapters on time  
I have no intention of dropping the story, dont you worry (◕‿◕✿)  
I hope you like this chapter and thank you thank you thank you for the support! <3


	25. Time for the truth

It was a grim day for Karasuno. It was a grim day for Karasuno and Ukai was worried out of his mind. Ever since that last defining whistle, nobody wanted to speak, half of the team would flinch at loud sounds and the other half wouldn’t react to anything. His grandpa had told him that one of the hardest things to ever do as a coach was stand in front of a team who had just been defeated after giving it their all. Ukai hoped that moment wouldn’t come, but deep down he knew it was inevitable. He agreed with his grandpa, for once, but not for the same reasons. While coach Ukai senior found it hard to motivate the kids to stand up again when they had been beaten into the ground, Ukai Keishin thought the hardest thing about this was having to deal with his own aching heart at seeing his team with their heads hung low in shame. 

Takeda-sensei had been a blessing. Without him Ukai wouldn’t have been able to care for them in the most fundamental way: getting them to eat. It was Takeda’s soft voice and kind words that got the kids to even accept what had been placed in front of them. Now however, it was his duty as a coach to have a talk with them, and he was terrified. He wanted to take their pain away, but he knew it was impossible, the defeat was too fresh on their minds. What almost got Ukai to start crying with all of them was when Daichi had bowed before him and muttered a broken “we’re sorry.” So that was something that he needed to clarify. 

Instead of having them all stand, he sat down with them on the floor of the gym. Half of the team wouldn’t look at him, they kept their eyes fixated on any other thing. Ukai took a deep breath and started speaking. 

“I don’t think we need to go over today’s match.” He said, watching carefully for their reactions. “But I want to hear from you. Tell me why you think we lost against Seijoh.” 

Silence. The third years exchanged quick glances but said nothing, Tanaka was trying to get Noya’s attention but the kid was lost in his own guilt. Finally, and much to Ukai’s surprise, it was Tsukishima who spoke. 

“We weren’t good enough.” He said simply, shrugging. Ukai was glad at least someone had answered his question. 

“Anyone else?” he prompted them again, this time looking at Kageyama. The setter returned his glance with unease, and twisting his hands on his lap he said: 

“I let my feelings get in the way.” He admitted. Ukai wanted to correct him, tell him that it wasn’t him, it was the team. But since it was Kageyama and he hardly ever spoke up, he let him continue. “We had open opportunities and we didn’t take them, or couldn’t… um, I-I was going too fast, but then we were too slow.” 

“I never really managed to stop Oikawa’s serve.” Noya said, and he was frowning in anger. “I just got lucky a couple of times. I-I’m…”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” Ukai cut him off before he could continue. Noya fell silent. “None of you. Your teammates know you gave it your all, _I_ know you gave it your all. No more apologizing, understood?” 

“Yes coach.” The general murmur loud enough to be heard. Ukai sighed and hoped for the best. 

“Now I want you to tell me why we won against Date Tech.” at that, he got some reactions. Daichi perked up, Asahi looked slightly confused and started fidgeting with a strand of his hair. This time, the team was a little more cooperative with their answers. They started to point out every good thing they could remember about the match, even Asahi who seemed to be self-conscious pitched in. 

“We got through the blocks.” He said, and both Suga and Daichi placed affectionate hands on his lower back. “And it gave us the advantage to win.” 

“We played better than them.” Kageyama said, his voice serious. His eyes were still a little red around the edges. 

“So Date Tech lost against us because they made more mistakes than us, yes?” the team nodded along. “Does that make Date Tech a bad team?” 

“No!” Hinata exclaimed, shaking his head. Ukai knew of the spiker’s fondness for the Iron Wall, had seen him thoroughly enjoy both their company and the challenge they presented. “Date Tech is a great team!” 

“Okay.” Ukai agreed. He was relieved they were going along with the path that he was leading. “With that in mind, tell me again why we lost against Seijoh.” 

“We made more mistakes than them” Suga pointed out, and Ukai had a feeling the team was starting to understand what he was trying to tell them. 

“Does that make us a bad team?” he asked, and this time it was Daichi who responded. 

“No.” he looked at Ukai in the eye and the coach knew he was sincere. Somehow, he also felt like he apologized for apologizing before, which was rather ironic. Ukai reassured him as best he could, and then turned to the entire team, the group of kids sitting before him who looked a little less beaten. 

“Exactly.” He nodded, marking the captain’s words. “Whichever team steps into the court and makes less mistakes, whichever takes better advantage of their opponent’s, that’s the team that succeeds. We were in both positions today, somebody lost to us and we lost to somebody. But we know why we lost, and it wasn’t because we’re a bad team, but because…” 

“Seijoh played better.” Kageyama said, his voice firm. “Today.” 

“Good, keep that in mind.” Ukai gave them all a smile, approving of the last connotation. “Now, we all need to get better and work on some things, I know, but I don’t want you beating yourselves into the ground over the mistakes you made today, okay? We will go over them in due time and fix them. That’s all for technicalities, as for the other side of things…” 

He fell silent, staring at his team who was looking a little brighter. Ukai wondered if his grandpa was proud of him, if he approved of the decisions he took as a coach. He would sometimes question his own actions, wondering if it was the right call, if he was doing everything in his power to help the team get better and succeed. He would be lying if he said he sometimes didn’t feel like a failure, much too aware of his lack of experience and ability to convey what he wanted to say. Grandpa would always say that he should always take decisions with his head, that went it came to coaching a team, rationality always won against his own emotions. But young Ukai was far too attached to the kids under his guidance to be completely objective with his orders. He knew he was taking that decision with his heart, and he didn’t care. 

“My grandfather was a great coach.” He told them, and he saw the second- and third-years smirk and sigh. “But he wasn’t perfect. I think one of his biggest flaws was that he expected his team to behave like professional players. You’re high school kids. Your emotions are all out of whack, I’m sure. So you don’t need to train until you drop, you need to go home and rest. No practice tomorrow.” 

For once in their lives, Hinata and Kageyama did not complain about that. Slowly, they started to pick themselves up and collect their things, and Ukai was relieved beyond end when he saw that his youngest first year was back to being unnecessarily close to the orange haired sunshine. He himself was exhausted and wanted to collapse in his bed, maybe make up a training plan for the next few weeks. He got so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice the third years approaching him. Before he could ask, Asahi was pushed forward by the other two and the tall student instantly tugged in his shoulders and blushed. 

“Coach? Um, we were just wondering if… if we could, um, give you a hug.” He said, tugging at a strand of hair that had gotten out of his bun. Ukai was taken aback, to say the least, and he only managed to shrug and nod because honestly what else could he have done. You had to be truly heartless to deny such a request coming from the shyest kid of the group, with his two friends looking on with shining eyes hoping for a yes. 

Asahi then seemed to relax slightly and wrapped his big arms around Ukai. The kid was taller than him by a bunch, which made him laugh under his breath being all bundled up in his arms. Before he could move too much Suga had joined in, and then Daichi as well. Ukai heard Noya and Tanaka also wanting to be part of the group hug, and a second later Hinata was on it as well. 

“Thank you, Coach.” Daichi said, his voice showing how honest he was. 

“Thank you, Coach!” the others called. In that moment, being squished by a group of high schoolers, Ukai’s only regret was not agreeing to be their coach sooner. He was so incredibly grateful that Takeda had come into his shop day after day to relentlessly bother him into accepting. It was probably one of the best decisions he had made in a while. Right there, despite bearing the heavy feeling of defeat in their hearts, the team enveloped their coach into a bone-crushing hug and things were okay. 

.

If his phone hadn’t started making incessant notification noises, Daichi might have stayed in bed doing absolutely nothing. It was a weird kind of stillness, aware of his own breathing and the fact that time was passing him by, yet he did nothing about it. He would have continued to deliberately waste the afternoon if he hadn’t somehow known that the group chat was exploding. Daichi thought that everyone would be silently sulking in their own bubbles, but apparently not. 

_ (Karasuno’s Crows 🏐) _

_Thunder_Noya4: hey guys!!!   
Thunder_Noya4: guess what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

_AsahiBear: oh no_

_Amazing_Koushi: Im sensing trouble and Im here for it _

_Thunder_Noya4: my grandpa just told me that we can use the big Nishinoya house again!!!   
Thunder_Noya4: and u know what that meanssss (¬‿¬)_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: oh now??? Is it happening?? _

_Thunder_Noya4: its happening babeyyyy ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪_

_Amazing_Koushi: oh hell yeah!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ _

_GrumpyKag: what… whats happening? _

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: can someone explain?? ಠ_ಠ_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: noya’s family has this like, ridiculuslyy large house. When that gang goes out on a trip or sumthing the house is left alone_

_Thunder_Noya4: yea basicaly. They lemme have people over cause im their favoirte nephew   
Thunder_Noya4: and thats what we call the Great Karasuno Sleepover! |ôヮô)/ _

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: first years, prepare to be initiated ಠ‿↼_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: umm ʘ‿ʘ_

_GrumpyKag: should I be concerned? _

_Amazing_Koushi: this is going to be awesome ᕕ(⌐■_■)ᕗ ♪♬_

_AsahiBear: it has been a while since the last one. Should be interesting (ᵔᴥᵔ)_

_RyUn0zUkk_TaN9kA: you better bring snacks_

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: oh food im in! ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ_

_Thunder_Noya4: and prepare, cause im makin everyone play truth or dare and daichi cant stop me_

_Dad-ichi69: ಠ╭╮ಠ_

Daichi decided it was best not to argue. He thought back to the last “Great Karasuno Sleepover” as Noya had called it, he recalled the absolute chaos but also the fondness of hanging out as just friends rather than teammates. He knew there was nothing he could do to avoid something going south, not when Tanaka and Noya were involved in that kind of thing, but he supposed it would be a good way to just forget about everything for a while. 

They set a date and soon enough he found himself in front of a huge house that brought some memories to his mind. When Noya said this house was big, he meant it. The living room had enough space for all of them to sit comfortably with a few pillows, the kitchen cabinets were stocked with food for a small army, and as Noya guided him up the stairs so he could leave his stuff Daichi could see there were plenty of rooms as well. 

“You can leave your bag and come down with us.” Noya told him, holding upon the door. “Grab a good spot on the couch.” 

Daichi would have just left his bag at the foot of the bed without much thought, that if he hadn’t noticed that there was already another bag there, and a very familiar one. 

“Nishinoya…” he started, looking back at the guy suspiciously. Noya wore a mask of perfect innocence. 

“Yes, Sawamura?” he asked, smiling politely. Too politely. 

“Is this Suga’s bag?” Daichi demanded, even though he already knew the answer. 

“Oh, it is, isn’t it?” he half-laughed, still smiling. Daichi stared him down but he did not seem fazed by it. 

“There’s only one bed here.” He stated, his voice growing tighter. Noya stared at the bed and gasped dramatically, bringing a hand up to his mouth in a surprised expression that was way too fake. 

“Oh wow!” he exclaimed, still playing dumb. “You’re in the same room and there’s _only one bed_? Crazy how that happens!” 

“This isn’t one of your corny fanfics, Noya.” Daichi said, and the guy acted extremely offended. He made an undignified sound and disappeared through the hallway holding his chin up. Daichi only sighed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t shared a bed with Suga, he had done so many times before and it was never weird. In a different scenario he wouldn’t have minded, but now things were different between them, right? At least a little bit. He wondered if Suga was aware of their rooming situation, and if he felt the same as Daichi. 

He decided to just shove that thought in the back of his head and deal with it when he actually had to sleep, which judging by how sleepovers always went, would be at about 4am. When he got back to the living room Noya and Tanaka were already eating chips from the mountain of snacks that was laid across the coffee table, Asahi was flicking through a movie catalog and Suga was…

Appearing right behind him to kiss him on the cheek. Daichi froze in place and he heard Suga giggle before seeing him join the others in the couch. He reached up to touch his face, the feeling of Suga’s lips lingering on his skin. He guessed that now there was nothing holding them back from showing affection in a physical way? Thinking too much about it always resulted in Daichi getting slightly too frustrated. It was bad enough having his mind constantly remind him of the fact that he was too much of a coward to kiss Suga on the lips at the end of their date. 

What also had him worried was that although his friends were supportive and considerate, they sometimes tended to go a little too intense with it. He had _experienced_ some of the craziness that their late-night hangouts produced, and with things going kind of okay with Suga he was afraid they were going to pull the “I dare you to kiss him” move. Because then there would be no way out, if he said no then he would look bad, and if he did well… call him old fashioned but he didn’t want their first kiss to happen in a game of truth or dare. 

And because his best friend was a little devil, Suga had brought a bottle of sake that Noya and Tanaka were a little too excited about. The two first years present just stared with widened eyes and Daichi started to question just how much of a bad influence they all were. While the night was young, they mainly just stuffed their faces with snacks and when on rants about random stuff, and it was a nice way of easing into the company. They were all sitting close to each other, sharing and laughing and it was generally a good time. Then Noya chimed in: 

“Let’s play truth or dare!” as if on cue, both Asahi and Suga turned to look at him with mischievous grins. He stuck his tongue out at them and said nothing else. 

“Before you remind everyone about what happened last time, that was an accident, okay?” Tanaka jumped to the defense even though Daichi hadn’t said anything. 

“What happened last time?” Hinata asked innocently, reminding Daichi that there were people who weren’t present to experience the horror. He hid his face in his hands because he just knew he wasn’t getting out of that one. 

“Well see kids, captain Daichi might be a lot of things but a coward isn’t one of them.” Suga said, throwing an arm on his shoulders and pulling him close. “He doesn’t like to admit it but if you dare him to do something, he will do it.” 

“He despises the game because he doesn’t back down from a challenge.” Asahi added, enjoying his suffering. “And last time we did this, Tanaka and Noya kind of fucked him over with a stupid dare.” 

“It was an accident!” They both exclaimed. Suga laughed and Daichi just rolled his eyes. 

“Do you still have those handcuffs?” Asahi asked, and Daichi could only think how _wrong_ that sounded to the two first years who had zero context. 

“Sadly, no.” Noya answered dramatically “They were taken from me too soon.” 

“So what basically happened was that Noya had a pair of legit handcuffs and dared Daichi to handcuff himself to the pole out in the front yard.” Suga explained. 

“In just underwear. In -10-degree weather.” Daichi pointed out, because they were talking about this as if it wasn’t a big deal. “It was supposed to last only a couple minutes, but these idiots and by idiots I mean Tanaka, he was laughing so hard that he dropped the tiny key and only realized it when it was already lost in the snow.” 

“Did you find it again?” Kageyama asked, and Daichi was mortified that someone as quiet and reserved as him was leaning forward to hear the details. 

“We tried.” Asahi laughed. “We tried for a long while, but it was like those tiny things that fall to the floor and completely disappear.” 

“When I went to that sleepover I didn’t expect my night to end with all of us digging around in the snow while Daichi sat there chained to a pole with all of our jackets and several blankets on him.” Suga said, leaning his head on top of his. “In the end we had to give up and call for help. Then we all just stood there as a policeman freed Daichi with a saw.” 

“I still remember him, he was cool” Tanaka said, his voice all soft and dreamy. “Didn’t ask too many questions and he let us off the hook pretty easily.” 

“The hero we needed.” Suga sighed, a devilish smile still playing on his lips. As Noya had said, there was nothing he could do to stop them from playing so he just went with it. He knew the second-year duo always came up with the crazier ideas, Daichi just hoped they didn’t end up in a situation where they needed to call the cops again because that would be a disaster, considering the fact that none of them were of age to be drinking. But oh well. Even Daichi got tired of being the responsible one once in a while. 

As the night progressed, they started to really get comfortable with each other and even Kageyama was participating. The first thing they made him do was a headstand, and he even tugged his shirt in his pants so that it stayed on his body when he was upside down. Noya said something about him not wanting to show his killer abs so that Hinata could keep his composure. Noya had had some drinks, to say the least, and he was a small guy, so his filter was becoming thinner and thinner. Kageyama said nothing but his face was bright red and they knew it wasn’t because of the blood rushing to his head. Hinata laughed nervously and then started to try to make him laugh until he couldn’t hold the stance anymore. In return, he dared Hinata to spin on a chair and needless to say, they all took it to the extreme. When they stopped him, Hinata tried to stand and went crashing straight to the floor, his laughter sounding a little hysteric from the vertigo. 

They had a phase with food related dares, that had Tanaka swallowing a spoonful of vinegar and Suga eating way too much wasabi, which brough tears to his eyes but he was giggling stupidly through it all. Daichi had to let them slap him with a handful of whipped cream and needless to say they all enjoyed their turns in their own weird way. He was wiping the cream off his eyes when Suga went out of his way to lick it off his cheek, inciting a combination of whistles and ‘ew’s. Suga had also had a couple sips. Daichi wasn’t exactly complaining. 

Somehow, Noya had collected every pillow in the house and made a nest with them in the couch, went up to Asahi and threw his arms up

“I dare you to throw me into those pillows!” he said. Asahi didn’t look convinced and started to shake his head. “Come oooon, you’re strong enough, I know you are!” 

“I say you take it man, if you don’t they’re gonna give you something much worse.” Daichi vouched, but only because he wanted to see the libero fly across the living room like a ragdoll. Asahi turned to him with a glare that clearly said ‘thanks, Daichi’, but finally sighed and scooped Noya into his arms. Asahi was already tall, but when paired with someone who barely reached his shoulder it just became even funnier. Daichi was sure that Asahi could drape Noya over his shoulder if he really wanted to. 

“Noya if you break something, I’m gonna kill you.” Suga told him, and that was his way of saying he thought it was a bad idea but he wasn’t going to do anything about it, mainly because he also wanted to see what would happen. 

“Like a lamp or something?” Noya asked, still clutching to Asahi’s arms but looking quite comfortable lying there bridal style. 

“I meant like, your bones.” 

“Oooh okay, I thought it was something important and you had me worried for a second.” He said, waving it off while Suga chuckled and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Launch me!” 

And just like that Daichi was watching one of his best friends hurl his crush across the room, only to have him land and disappear in a mountain of pillows with a thump. Suga got it all on camera and was laughing quietly behind his phone, Asahi was rushing to the crash site and started pushing the pillows aside to find him. Finally he emerged with the biggest, dumbest grin on his face, his hair had deflated but he seemed alright. Asahi sighed and then started laughing with him. 

The night went on, they did stupid things, and it was a good time. However, with some unspoken cue, they all started settling down again in the living room, sitting on the floor covered by the blankets Asahi had brought from the second floor. The lights were dimmed, Tanaka had started the fireplace so there were weird shadows dancing around the room. Noya had the bottle of sake between his hands, holding it like it was some sort of important relic. Daichi felt a weird pull on his heart, thinking how so much was going to change in the course of a few months, how these little fleeting moments that made him think that not everything was wrong could disappear so easily. It was the kind of existential dread that came with being awake with your friends at 2am. 

From the look on Suga’s eyes, Daichi knew things were about to get crazy again but in a much different way. He knew in his heart that Suga was going to get them all to confess something embarrassing by disguising it as a game. They had done the dares, now it was time for the truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!   
I thought it was time for the boys to have some harmless fun (for the most part) after all they've been through hahaha  
hope you like their little mischief and thank you so so much for all the support, it really makes my heart sing and motivates me to keep writing :')  
Hope you all have a great week! <3


	26. Whatever you want it to mean

Asahi had a reputation of being the gentle giant of the group. He wasn’t confrontational, he mostly kept to himself and that led people to believe that he was calm. Asahi was everything but calm, he knew his brain was overreacting half the time and was just physically unable of keeping his chill. However, he was insanely good at hiding his panic, only Suga and Daichi were able to see it through his armor because they had been with him for so long. Noya was also starting to pick up on it though…

So of course when they started playing a game of “answer truthfully or face the wrath of your friends”, Asahi was a bit concerned for his blood pressure. Suga had that glint in his eye that came when there was alcohol in his veins and wanted to start unraveling everyone. To him it was a game, and Asahi and Daichi were very much aware of how it could go. They started asking generic questions, and poor Hinata and Kageyama fell victim to relentless questions, given they had never played the game with the other guys. Suga had been reluctant to give them alcohol, but Kageyama had refused all together and Hinata wasn’t a fan of it. 

There were some pretty funny answers and some embarrassing stories, including Tanaka casually asking “hey, have you ever mistaken a man for a woman?” and Daichi immediately yelling “you shady fucker!” while Suga dissolved in laughter. Asahi learned that Noya had eaten butter straight from the container, that Hinata almost drowned when he was 6 when he thought he could handle the deep end of the pool, and was reminded that Suga had been stealing his parents’ fancy vodka and replacing it with water since he was 16. 

The only person who had not said a peep was Kageyama. He watched them all with curious eyes and his stance was relaxed, a sight that was quite rare. He seemed pretty okay with flying under the radar until Suga laid his eyes on him. 

“You don’t seem to be talking much, mister.” He said, his cheeks slightly reddened from the booze. “Why don’t we come up with a question for him.” 

“Yeah!” Noya slurred, slumped against Asahi’s side. “I got one, who was your first crush?” 

Asahi felt bad for Kageyama, he could see the second he processed the question his whole body tensed, he shifted uncomfortably and looked away, hiding his eyes behind his fringe. The guys started snickering and Hinata tried to coarse him into lowering his guard again. the two had a lightning fast conversation with hushed voices, which involved Hinata pouting and Kageyama frowning at him. 

“Come onnn, it’s not fair that you’ve asked questions but can’t answer one.” Hinata said, picking up a glass of juice and looking at Kageyama over the rim. The setter returned the gaze with clear anger in his eyes, but then seeing Hinata playfully batting his eyelashes he sighed and just said: 

“Oikawa.” 

Hinata choked on his drink and coughed harshly. Tanaka was wheezing with laughter, both Suga and Daichi were staring in disbelief and Noya was just straight up celebrating at that point. 

“Dude no way!” he exclaimed, sitting up too fast. “That makes your story so much better! The young prodigy looking up to his senpai with adoration, oh the tension! The drama of it all!” 

“Shut up, Noya.” Asahi half-joked, intervening to save Kageyama who looked like he wanted to die on the spot. He buried one of his hands in Noya’s hair and messed it up, to which he whined but pressed against his palm. 

“You guys are so cute.” Tanaka said. At that Noya shot him a glare and scooted away from Asahi, who started to blush violently. He knew his partners were not ill-intended, but sometimes things like that did seem to bother Noya slightly. He would guard his distance when he normally didn’t, refusing to meet Asahi’s eyes. 

“Come on, Noya.” Suga said, a slight slur on his voice. “You gotta admit, Tanaka’s right. The tall, big shy guy like Asahi with you, a small energetic dude. And with your height difference? Now that’s cute as fuck.” 

Daichi wheezed and choked at the comment, but Noya still didn’t seem comfortable. Asahi didn’t like to see that troubled expression on his face, so he tried to stop what was causing it. He also knew that his friends, being tipsy, would be hard to convince to stop trying to usher them together. 

“No guys, stop it.” He said, his tone half-jokingly, hoping to God they would drop the topic. 

“Hey, you saying my boy isn’t cute?” Tanaka said, throwing his arms around Noya’s shoulder and pulling him so close his face was squished against him. “How dare you!” 

“N-No! that’s-that’s not what I s-said!” Asahi tried to defend himself, letting out a shaky laugh that could barely be passed for something casual. 

“It’s not like they have been giving each other heart-eyes for the entire year.” Daichi joked, rolling his eyes dramatically. Asahi made a mental note of murdering him later. 

“I haven’t!” he exclaimed, watching in horror how things got worse when he tried to fix them. Now Noya had an unreadable look in his eyes, but it wasn’t anything good. He snatched the bottle out of Tanaka’s hands and swirled the liquid around. 

“I see how it is then.” He murmured, shrugging and taking a big sip. Asahi wanted to scream into his hands as he felt his heart twist painfully. He spared a glance at his friends and both Suga and Daichi were looking at him with a pitiful expression that said: ‘you’re in trouble, pal’. 

Even if Asahi couldn’t stop thinking about the coldness he had seen in Noya’s eyes, the other guy seemed to forget about it rather quickly. All it took was Tanaka tickling his sides inciting a cute laugh, and Suga jokingly throwing a pillow at his head. Just like that he was back to normal. Asahi wished he had a reset button like that so that the awkward moments of his life would stop haunting him. 

After a few couple more minutes of senseless banter, their eyelids started to feel a little heavy and the first yawns made their way out. The fire had almost died down, so the darkness was helping pull the spell of sleep on them. When Hinata fell asleep for a couple seconds, almost falling forward from his sitting position, they all decided to call it a night, even though it was the break of dawn. Sluggishly the teens got up and dragged their feet up the stairs, mumbling goodnights and sweet dreams. 

Noya helped carry the blankets upstairs again, and made sure everyone was properly supplied to spend the night. Asahi was waiting, leaning at the frame of the bedroom door. Him and Noya were sharing a room, and when he had just arrived and saw who his roommate was, Asahi found it rather obvious. Natural, even. But then he felt the knot in his stomach form again when Noya walked past the door and down the hallway. 

“I’ll be up in a minute.” He said, disappearing into the far end of the corridor. Asahi had a feeling that he should do something, but decided against it. He laid in his futon staring at the ceiling, trying to convince himself that if Noya said he would be up in a minute, then he shouldn’t worry. Every second of silence felt like an eternity. He was sure it had been more than a minute. Noya should’ve been back by then. Reluctantly, he got up. He figured he would rather have a moment of embarrassment and have Noya call him out for being so paranoid than not doing anything when Noya could possibly need someone. With a resolute mind, he made his way to the first floor. 

.

Daichi should be tired, it’s almost 4am after all, but instead he is very awake as he makes his way up the staircase towards his designated bedroom. Said bedroom he was sharing with Suga. When he had said that he would cross that bridge when he got to it, he wasn’t really thinking about what would happen when he actually had to. Suga hadn’t said a word about it (Daichi was wondering if he even _knew_), but as he entered the bedroom, he ignored the bags that were piled together and went straight to the window. 

Daichi could see in his eyes that the buzz of alcohol had already disappeared, leaving him looking painfully sober. Suga pressed his forehead to the glass and groaned dramatically, his breath forming a cloud on the surface. Daichi wanted to hug him from behind but decided against it. Maybe pressing Suga against a wall like that wasn’t such a good idea. He opted for just standing alongside him, watching the outdoors as well. It was still quite dark, the mist that hung over the road a telling of just how cold it was out there. He quietly turned to look at his partner, seeing his eyes filled with something unnamed but that somehow, he understood completely. 

“Wanna get out of here?” Daichi whispered, like a secret proposition that he knew Suga would take. He smiled, chuckling to himself. Daichi was just getting better and better at reading him. 

“Yeah.” 

It was a stupid idea, going out there at such hour. As expected, it was freezing. Even wrapped with every piece of clothing they had, the two walked close seeking the other’s warmth. Suga was just walking aimlessly and Daichi was following him, both just hearing the soft noises of their steps. There was something about the night that made Suga fall silent, deep in thought, and when Daichi was there to witness it he often worried about what was going on in his beloved’s mind that could render him so somber. 

Finally they stopped in a quiet park filled with trees, a soft breeze blowing, shaking their leaves. Suga rested his arms on the railing overlooking the city, they could see the streetlamps like small sparks in a sea of black, everything seemed so quiet and still that Daichi felt like it would be wrong to speak. He let the silence linger a bit more before mimicking Suga’s pose and asking. 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he even dared to softly brush a lock of silver hair away from his face. Suga smiled at the tender contact and looked down at his hands. 

“It’s a lot.” He started, twisting his fingers together. “I think you understand. I thought I had things figured out, but I don’t. The truth is I’m scared, and I feel like everything is happening so fast, like I’ll blink and this year will be over.” 

“Yeah, I do get it.” Daichi answered, knowing that feeling of dread a little too well. 

“And there’s also, I guess… us?” Suga murmured under his breath, shoulders shyly tucked inwards. His cheeks grew bright red, and Daichi suspected it wasn’t from the cold. He himself had a tight knot on his throat. 

“…yeah.” He said simply, because he too was scared to come up with anything else. Suga seemed to sense his discomfort and reached out, offering a hesitant hand. Daichi was quick to take it, feeling Suga’s fingers tightly intertwined with his was like a calming drug that flowed through his veins. 

“Does it bother you?” Daichi asked carefully, not wanting to lead the conversation into a bad place, but at the same time feeling that if he had to be honest and bear his heart, he might as well do it now. “That we don’t have a… label?” 

“No, not really.” He answers, and Daichi would be lying if he said that it didn’t calm his nerves. Suga seemed to have relaxed as well, forgetting whatever was troubling him for a moment. “I’m comfortable and happy with you just being my… Daichi, at least for now.” 

The way he said his name made Daichi’s heart flutter, feeling his chest all warm despite the cold of the night. He hums because he doesn’t know what to say, that’s when Suga steps closer to him and presses his temple against his shoulder, sighing heavily. Naturally, Daichi’s hand comes up to tangle itself in Suga’s hair, softly massaging him. 

“You know I’ve never done… this kind of thing.” Daichi whispers, feeling a little bit more confident with his words since he knows they need to clear things up, no matter how hard that seemed to be. “There’s a lot to figure out… it’s all.” 

“Ironic how we have spent so much time together, and yet we cannot seem to talk about our feelings… for each other.” Suga points out, and it makes Daichi laugh. However, he notices his hesitation on the last part of the sentence. 

“Well, it’s complicated…” he starts, trying to buy some time to find the words he needs to describe what he felt for Suga, which was not an easy task. Deep down he knew that he would never come up with something that perfectly told his partner what the mess in his chest was, but he was willing to at least try. 

“Is it really?” Suga asks, but it’s not accusatory in anyway. “You do have the bad habit of overthinking.” 

“I…” he stutters, and Suga places a soothing hand on his arm. He regains his breath. “Don’t get me wrong, I trust you with my life, it’s just that-”

“You’re scared?” he completes. From the way they’re standing Daichi can’t see his eyes, but from his voice alone he can tell that he’s somehow tired, but he doesn’t know exactly what’s causing it. Daichi himself is tired of having to deal with all the emotions he doesn’t quite understand. He nods, knowing there’s no use trying to explain himself further. “Scared of what?” 

“Fucking things up.” He admits, and his voice drops. “I’m not perfect. Some times I do and say stupid things that I don’t mean, and if I somehow hurt you, I-I don’t think I could bear it.” 

He’s met with silence, and it’s somehow more comforting than if Suga had tried to contradict him. He knows it’s true, they both do. They have hurt each other in the past, with the memories of trust and happiness also come those moments that really tested their friendship, a bunch of mistakes and even lies. That was what Daichi was so afraid of, that he would somehow fuck up and Suga wouldn’t want him at his partner anymore. He’s completely aware that it’s a stupid thing to be held back by, fearing the “end” before something could even start, but then again, his heart had barely known logic in the past few months. 

“But at the same time…” Daichi continues, being honest with Suga is harder than he remembers it being. “I don’t think I can bear not telling you, for much longer.” 

“Tell me what?” Suga asks, his voice almost completely lost in the wind. Daichi’s heart is beating out of his chest, he’s pretty sure Suga can feel his pulse in his skin. His throat seemed to close up just as he took the decision of getting it out of his chest, stop pretending he can hide the fact that he’s in love with his best friend. He could at the start, but by now it’s become rather painful and he really wants it to stop fucking with his head. This part of the whole “love” thing wasn’t very fun. 

“That I…” _I love you_, he wants to say, but Daichi finds himself in front of a self-build wall. He sighs and it comes out shaky, nervous, and part of him wants to close his eyes tightly and disappear. He wonders for a second what Suga must be thinking, that he’s pathetic for being unable to form coherent sentences, perhaps. Instead he looks up at him, those blue eyes shining with the unspoken, and then he breaks into a soft smile and his gaze becomes so… loving, that what’s left of his breath is knocked out of him. 

“I adore you, Daichi.” He tells him, without an inch of hesitation, voice firm and speaking the truth. His eyes are still locked on his, and if Daichi hadn’t known those eyes for such a long time he couldn’t have been able to see the slight veil of panic that lies way behind his irises. Suga’s voice doesn’t falter, he doesn’t stutter, but Daichi knows he’s also terrified. “And I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time now, I just didn’t have the courage.” 

“Suga, I…” he manages to breathe out, the loud roar of his blood in his ears is overwhelming. He curses himself for not being good with words, for not being able to just spit a straight answer and shout it to the winds. Instead, his stuck with what he’s got. “What I… feel for you, it-t it… it isn’t just friendship anymore… it’s-”

“Something else?” Suga whispers gently, taking his hand again. He sees him struggling and doesn’t want to interrupt, but at the same time Daichi is incredibly grateful that he’s leading him patiently. “Something more, kind of like… how I feel about you?” 

He shivers, and Daichi knows it isn’t from the cold. Suga feels bare, truly exposed, right then in a deserted corner of the city. Daichi just has to say yes, maybe just whisper it in his ear, let him know that his nerves being on end wasn’t because of some sort of hesitation: he knows what he feels, he’s been dealing with it for so long, it’s crystal clear. It should be simple, but it never is, now is it? 

“Yes.” He says finally, and his stomach turns painfully. Now that he’s opened his mouth, he can’t stop himself from also voicing the thing that has been holding him back the most. “But I don’t think I deserve you.” 

Suga had been tender and understanding with him up until that point, but something about that particular statement sets him off. Daichi knew he wouldn’t exactly take it in the best way, he was aware that Suga hated the kind of pedestal he had placed him in, the times that he let it show. Suga placed his hands on his cheeks firmly, forcing him to look at him. Daichi does, and it’s like looking at the eye of a storm. He’s worried, slightly annoyed, but overall there’s a desperation clouding his gaze. 

“My God, Daichi, you talk like I’m this unreachable thing when I’m right here!” he exclaims, his voice breaking at the end. For a moment it seems that angry tears form in his eyes but the next second they’re gone. Suga’s hands shake, and his grip tightens just slightly before he looks away and lets his hands drop slowly. He whispers an apology that Daichi completely ignores. He catches his wrist before they can go back to his sides, and softly guides his hand back up and onto his cheek. Daichi’s eyes are closed, but he feels that Suga deflates, and his thumb tenderly caresses his jaw. “I’m the one who gets to decide who’s worthy of me.” Suga tells him, still firm but softer this time. “And I’ve decided that I want that to be you. I want… to be with you, whatever that may mean, whatever _you_ want it to mean.” 

“Koushi…” Daichi whispered his name, feeling the urge to reach out but finding himself frozen in place again. Part of him still didn’t want to believe that Suga _wanted_ to be with him, even though he had just said it to his face. 

“I’ve always been able to read you, for what feels like my whole life.” He continues, his hand sliding down and settling on top of his heart. “But now… I-I don’t know, I don’t know what to make of this, because I’m a coward and I’m scared of the answer. Now you know what I… what I want, but what do you…?”

And because of some fateful spark of courage, Daichi knows exactly what to do. He has felt confused, frustrated and scared all at the same time, they both have, and he’s sick and tired of it. The whole schtick of tiptoeing around each other had rendered them both hesitant, recoiling when they would have leapt otherwise. It’s absolutely terrifying, but he wants to be done with it. 

Suga doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Daichi leans in and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. At first it isn’t really a kiss, just their mouths pushed against each other, and Daichi can even tell that Suga has stopped breathing all together. Time seems to stop, frozen, the only sound he hears is the crazed beat of his heart. And all the mess tinted with pain that they’ve been through while trying to get to that very moment, all of it disappears in a second and with a single action: Suga smiles against his lips, and Daichi can feel pure happiness radiating off of him as he presses in as well. It’s slow, there’s absolutely no rush to it, it’s a soft and sweet kiss that they share in the middle of the night where no one can see them, holding each other close. 

Suga feels like his head is filled with clouds, he’s high on the feeling of Daichi’s lips against his own. His hands have found their way up to cup his cheeks tenderly, feeling his burning blush under his palms. Daichi’s arms slowly wrap around his waist, resting against his hipbones as if that’s where they were always meant to go. They separate just slightly, and Suga is unable to open his eyes for a few heartbeats, still stunned into silence. When he does open them, he sees Daichi’s expression, a mix of so many things that would be almost impossible to explain, words not being quite enough, but he doesn’t need them. It is now Suga who pulls him towards him, so their lips meet once again. 

This time they kiss more feverishly, more passionately. This time Suga wraps his arms around Daichi’s neck, a low groan escaping from the back of his throat as he is once again completely intoxicated by the feeling of _him_. Daichi roams his hands up his back, pulling him as close as he can get and running his fingers through the silvery strands of his hair. It’s sloppy and somehow desperate, like making up for lost time and letting the other know everything they couldn’t put into words. For all those times they wanted to do exactly _this_, but were too afraid. Neither of them really knows what they’re doing, lips are everywhere, their teeth clash together and it’s a little jarring to find a rhythm when they’re both desperately pushing forward, but neither of them care. A couple moments later they click together, and it feels like they’ve been doing this their entire lives. 

Even as he loses his breath, Daichi can’t bring himself to stop. Suga’s lips, his scent, the closeness, his hands on his neck, the soft noises his making, it all puts his head on cloud nine and he gets addicted to the feeling immediately. Suga gasps but doesn’t pull away, and they end up panting with their foreheads still touching. Daichi feels dizzy, his legs are trembling like they’re about to give out and he’s almost holding onto Suga to keep what’s left of his composure. Suga isn’t any better, his thoughts are slow and mushy like he has just come down from a high, and his hair is sticking out in odd places from Daichi’s hands running through it. 

When Suga meets his eyes, Daichi blushes violently, but a sly smile still plays on his lips. He chuckles shily and Suga thinks he’s never seen something as beautiful as the image in front of him: Daichi with his lips all bare from kissing and looking at him with shiny eyes filled with adoration. They stay like that, intertwined and regaining their breath, the heat of the moment keeping them warm even with the icy wind. 

“I think… we should get back…” Suga proposes, the idea of getting under the blankets seeming way too appealing. Daichi nods approvingly. 

“Yeah… that’s a good idea.” 

They all but jog back to the house, Suga holding Daichi’s wrist and dragging him along through the thin layer of snow. They sneak upstairs, tiptoeing to their room and trying to be as quiet as possible. When they’re finally there, the silence hangs heavy, and Suga can barely make out Daichi’s expression in the darkness. However, he does feel the softness of his hand when he caresses his cheek lovingly. Suga leans into the touch and presses a kiss against his palm before turning away to remove his clothes and slip into something more comfortable. Daichi does the same, apparently more successfully than him since Suga takes a little more time fumbling with his hands that just won’t stop shaking with the aftermath. 

He gets under the covers and scoots closer, Daichi receiving him into his space only to realize what he had done a second after. 

“No, Suga, don’t you dare put your icy feet on me nO-” he all but murmurs before silently squirming as Suga giggles devilishly. Daichi traps him between his arms so he can barely move, and he relaxes instantly into the contact. He huffs ironically and rolls his eyes as Suga curls against Daichi’s chest, humming pleasantly. 

Feeling the compelling pull of sleep, Daichi buries his face in Suga’s hair and sighs, still not quite registering that this was real, but sure that he’s never been happier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!  
I hope everyone is having a great week, here's THE chapter that I've been waiting to write for the longest time. Really making that slowburn tag shine (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞  
also I think I might start updating on monday since I have more free time, but I'll keep doing my best to post weekly!  
thank you so fcking much for all the support, love you all! <3


	27. Absolutely

Even though he loved the place, Noya couldn’t imagine living in this house. Maybe he had gotten used to his cozy home, but here he found the tall ceilings and distant walls to be a little too cold. It was fun when it was filled with his friends’ laughter, when the fireplace was casting intricate shadows as they moved dramatically to tell stories, when the living room was brought to live by their energy. But when it all died down and the night really set in, the house was too quiet, too somber and left Noya feeling like the emptiness could swallow him. 

He made his way to one of the balconies and hissed when the cold metal of the railing hit his naked arms. It was eerily quiet, the cold breeze messing with his hair that had deflated long ago. Noya liked the cold, sometimes it was easier to focus on that sensation of prickles on his skin than it was to live inside his head. In all honesty, he was tired of being confused. He was tired of the unknowing feeling that wouldn’t stop lingering in his chest, tired of the mixed signals, of being pulled between yes and no. Why couldn’t his heart just make up its mind? 

When he didn’t go into his room, he genuinely didn’t want anyone to follow him, much less Asahi. Because Asahi just seemed to make things worst with his stupidly handsome face, his silky hair and big warm hands-

He shook his head, pressing his forehead to the railing and feeling the cold of the metal pierce his skin. He had to admit that Asahi did give him a good amount of time before deciding that he needed to be rescued or something like that. Noya didn’t feel like being rescued, he just wanted to be left alone brooding about his misery like some pathetic teenager. There was something oddly comforting about it, blaming his mess on his age and hoping he would grow out of it. That didn’t mean it hurt any less, or that it made him feel less like a failure of a human being. 

When he heard the soft click of the sliding door, he instantly knew it was Asahi. Asahi and his stupid heart, too caring and tender sometimes. He was way too nice to him, when Noya had bursts of anger and took it out on him, Asahi would just murmur that he understood. Some part of Noya wanted him to yell, to tell him to get his head out of his ass and stop being an idiot. Projecting, much? 

“I can leave if you want me to” was the first thing Asahi said after a moment of silence that hung for way too long. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” 

“I’m not.” Noya shrugged, and couldn’t bring himself to look at his reaction, he was sure it would break his heart further. “But my well-being it’s not your responsibility.” 

“Yeah, it’s not.” He said, and Noya was surprised. He expected him to say it was and try to convince him or something. Somehow, he liked that response better. “But it’s not like I can pretend I don’t care about you.” 

“Goddammit, Asahi.” He cursed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Don’t you dare say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not. I don’t deserve your kindness.” 

“Well I disagree.” Asahi responded, the steadiness of his voice making Noya’s blood boil for some reason. Noya was aware that he was giving off the wrong kind of vibe, that he was hunched over that railing as if he was trembling with anger, frowning harshly at what was directly in front of him and refusing to talk about his feelings. Even then, Asahi was seeing right through him. “And I think you’re trying to pick a fight with me because you want an excuse to be angry.” 

“Not an excuse.” He said, sighing ironically. “A reason. One that actually makes sense.” 

Asahi only hummed. Noya didn’t know if he could also see that he was angry at himself, and the internalized anger was messing with his head and making him bitter. Asahi didn’t try to get closer, didn’t try to comfort him with a soft hand, he just stood there sharing his silence. When Noya decided to take a peek at his partner, he noticed the calm endeavor was merely a mask. He was twisting his hands together almost painfully, and even though his breathing was steady his eyes were all over the place. How he could seem so collected when he was actually panicking was beyond him. 

“I feel like I have to apologize.” Asahi said, hands rubbing together even more harshly now. “For earlier, I-”

“Don’t.” Noya stopped him before he could continue. He was the first one to admit that he was letting other emotions seep into his voice when he had snapped at something so minimal. “I kinda started it, it was really petty and stupid. I was just being difficult for the sake of it, I guess, I don’t know… it’s just…”

“You’re scared?” Asahi suggested, and Noya looked up at him. Staring into his eyes, he knew they were talking about the same thing. “Of them finding out about you?” 

Noya hated the answer to that question. His face must have taken an expression of sorrow since Asahi stepped a little closer to him. His big body was actually shielding Noya from the wind. He hated this, he hated all of it. He despised having to talk about that certain part of him, even if he knew Asahi wouldn’t judge him. Deep down, he wanted to reject it and shove it down and just continue to fuss over girls with Tanaka, that was way simpler. Noya just wanted to feel comfortable in his own skin, was that too much to ask? 

“I guess. But it doesn’t make sense, nothing does!” He started saying, throwing his hands up in frustration. He felt like punching something. “We were all rooting for Suga and Daichi to get together, so why would me being- why would… why would it be a problem? It wouldn’t. I know, I’m sure, and yet- it’s stupid.” 

“I understand.” Asahi said, his voice soft but not condescending. Noya was reminded that he _did_ in fact understand him, that the ‘general public’ didn’t know about him either. “And I don’t think it’s stupid, that kind of fear. You are sure people would accept you, they have absolutely no reason not to, they are your friends and you love them, and you know they love you too. Every reasonable fact is telling you that it will be okay, but the fear doesn’t go away. I honestly don’t think it’s something you can control.”

“Will it get easier?” Noya asked, looking away. The tight hold on his chest was squeezing the words out of him, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he happened to shed a few tears as well. He just wanted all of it to stop. “… living with it, talking about it, saying it out loud?” 

“I don’t know, Noya.” He responded. He could have gone for a reassuring answer, a hard yes, a promise that the turmoil was only temporary. Instead, Asahi went with an honest answer, he couldn’t bring himself to lie. He really didn’t know if it got easier with time, because it wasn’t easy for him yet. “I hope it does.” 

Noya mulled over the answer for a moment, rubbing his hands together. Asahi knew he was dealing with a lot of shit; that the past few weeks had been hectic between being stuck in bed, having Asahi in his house helping out and in consequence messing with his head and how he felt, and now feeling guilty about their loss as a volleyball team. It was incredibly stressful for him, and Asahi saw that reflected in the way Noya would laugh unnaturally, how he seemed to be buzzing in a hysteric way at times. Now however, he was weirdly calm, now he was tired more than anything. 

“Still…” Noya said, his lips twisting into a grimace. “I don’t… I don’t want to ruin what we have just because I-I, I’m not, comfortable with myself, I guess.” 

As soon as those words left his mouth, Noya felt his face grow red. He didn’t exactly know what him and Asahi had, but he knew that it made him feel safe. Asahi was comfortable and open with him like he wasn’t with any other of the guys, Noya could tell he lowered his defenses and wasn’t so worried about keeping his feelings in check. Noya felt like he could be honest with him, that he could be silly and say those weird things that sometimes crossed his mind. If something were to happen to that particular bond because of Noya rejecting what he felt, then that would be another heavy thing to carry, and he thought Asahi didn’t need that on his plate. 

“You misunderstood me earlier.” Asahi started to explain, and Noya caught a slight note of nervousness in his voice. “I didn’t want you feeling uncomfortable, but I also didn’t know how to get them to stop saying that kind of stuff, and I ended up looking like an idiot and I don’t want you to think that I don’t like you ‘cause I-”

His voice thinned out and broke at the end, and he tried to hide it with a scoff but it was useless. Noya turned his head to look at him, he saw his reddened cheeks and his shiny eyes, the way his hair was falling on his shoulders, the slightly concerned frown that pulled on his eyebrows. Even if Nishinoya was not entirely embracing of who he was yet, he couldn’t deny that the man standing in front of him was simply and utterly beautiful. His mind blanked out, his troubles got buried underneath a thick coat of just Azumane Asahi, the guy who’s smiled he had treasured for the longest time. 

Asahi tucked his hair behind his ear nervously and looked at the ground. He had told himself that he was going to say this, no matter what the result would be. If he wanted to really start over, to leave past burdens behind him, he had to put his fears aside, and that included staring into Noya’s beautifully sharp eyes and telling him how he felt. Even if his heart was threatening to come out of his throat, even if his knees felt like they would give in at any moment, even if his voice physically failed him. Noya deserved the truth. 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t like you.” He repeated, forcing himself to look Noya in the eye. “Because… I do, I- I do like y-you.” 

There was a moment of tense silence, Noya gaped slightly and blinked as if trying to regain his thought process. Asahi felt like he had just dropped from the highest mountain, the pull on his stomach was nerve-wracking. Then what broke the tension was a soft, nervous and incredulous laugh. Noya looked like he had been slapped but Asahi noticed the faintest pull of a smile on his lips. 

“Gosh, I like you too.” He whispered simply, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe it. 

“Wait what.” Asahi spurted out, taken aback. Honestly, he didn’t know what he had expected, maybe in his head the world would fade to black after he muttered the words that he had kept in his heart for so long. He didn’t expect a response, much less that one! “Y-You do?” 

“Yeah silly, I have for a while now.” Noya’s voice was a few octaves higher, like he was on some sort of nervous rant. “All this time that I’ve been so weird around you it’s because I… I think you’re… y’know. I thought you already knew with how obvious I was…” 

“What!” he exclaimed, his brows furrowing with confusion. “I thought _you_ knew! I thought you always saw how I blushed and stuttered and like…”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Noya asked, somehow mirroring his expression. 

“Well ‘cause I was scared!” Asahi answered, not entirely believing he was having this conversation. “I _am_ scared! But I just thought that I would be lying to you if I keep hiding things from you because like in the past few weeks I’ve had the greatest moments of my life with you and I didn’t want you to not trust me but at the same time I-”

“I want to kiss you.” Noya interrupted his blubbering, and Asahi lost whatever breath was left in his lungs. Despite that, he also saw that the guy standing in front of him was, quite simply, Noya. He was blunt, unapologetic, and spoke his mind while looking at you straight in the eye. Noya had gotten over his shame as he watched Asahi being a stuttering mess and trying to convey what he felt in a way that was so painfully _him_, Noya had a hard time focusing on the words over his heart palpitating with fondness. Asahi was taken aback, but underneath it all he was glad Noya was being himself around him again. Through it all, he forced himself to answer the statement he thought he would never hear coming from Noya’s lips. 

“I want to kiss you too.” He murmured, forcing himself to not look away even though his cheeks felt they were actually on fire. “C-Can I?” 

Noya chuckled in that cute way that had his eyes creasing shut, and Asahi decided he was in love with the sound. Noya looked up at him through his eyelashes and slowly stood on his tip toes, tilting his chin upwards and fighting to suppress a smile. Asahi felt laughter bubble up in the back of his throat, and deep down he was grateful this was happening in a lighthearted manner, he wasn’t sure he could handle it being a somber serious moment. Somehow it was fitting to both of them, Noya lightly joking around with him because he was comfortable, and Asahi loving how those big eyes stared at him. 

He leaned forward slightly, their noses touching. Asahi wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, he wasn’t sure what to do with his entire body that felt so much bigger than it actually was. Finally he pressed a kiss to Noya’s lips, and he felt his partner hum happily. His heart was beating so hard on his chest but at the same time he felt like nothing could bother him. Noya was trembling slightly with the quick shots that were going through his veins, because this moment was everything he thought it would be: Asahi kissing him very shily while he was trying to reach him. 

Noya pressed in a little more enthusiastically, because holy shit he was kissing the guy that he had been crushing on for months, he might as well show him how badly he wanted it, even if he seemed desperate. Asahi made a keen noise, like he was pleasantly surprised, and hesitantly returned the kiss while placing his hands on Noya’s cheeks and pulling him closer. Asahi had never felt anything like it, it felt so natural and like he wanted to do this daily; when he saw Noya every morning at school, when they said goodbye in the afternoon, and just casually in between. 

When they separated, the sensation lingered on their lips and Noya was looking like he was just coming down from a high, eyes sparkly and expression dumbfounded. Who knew Asahi could render him speechless and so still? The tall guy was nervously biting his lips and blushing furiously, but when Noya raised a hand slowly with a question in his eyes, he gladly let him sweep his messy hair away from his face and behind his ears. 

“I think…” Asahi said, leaning subconsciously against Noya’s palm. “That we should go on a… date? Like, a real date?” 

“Is that what you want?” he teased him, trying to hide the weird turn of his stomach that did not feel so pleasant. It wasn’t that the idea of going on a date with Asahi scared him, it was rather all the self-doubt creeping back on him like an annoying pest. Asahi saw right through him, how his thoughts were mixing and being a confusing jumble, he had been there himself many times. 

“Noya.” He whispered, and the fake smirk disappeared from his face. “I… I know you need time; I can’t tell you I fully understand what you’re going through but, I do know that coming to terms with who you are isn’t an easy task.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Noya muttered, looking elsewhere. Deep down he knew it would take him some time to not shy away from that kind of honesty. There, in the balcony of the huge house where no one could see him Noya was happy, comfortable, wanting to kiss the hell out of Asahi and list every one of the things he found to be deeply beautiful about him. But that didn’t mean he would be okay going out where there were prying eyes, part of him still didn’t like the fact that he _wanted_ to go out and hold Asahi’s hand, even if it made him so happy. 

“But… that doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave you alone. Because I… I want you to be h-happy, and I’ll do anything to make you happy.” Asahi told him, trying to catch his eyes. It baffled Noya how he could be so open and vulnerable with him, but at the same time he saw his hands were shaking. 

“I do want to go on a date with you.” He said, still not able to look up. Instead he took one of Asahi’s hands and started playing with his fingers while trying to muster up what he wanted to say. “I think that if I don’t put myself out there, I’ll never be able to fully… accept it. But… I-I don’t know-”

Asahi looked both parts concerned and slightly amused by how hard Noya was trying to come up with a logical explanation to what he felt, which was quite an impossible task. He took it upon himself to rest his chin on top of Noya’s head and hum affectionally, to which Noya froze and his thoughts came to a freezing halt. 

“Our date can be whatever you want.” Asahi assured him, still cradling him against his own body. It did feel very warm. “Staying indoors eating snacks even, we can take it easy.” 

“You really mean that?” Noya questioned, placing an insecure hand on Asahi’s chest and feeling his soothing breathing. Part of the reason Noya had been afraid of telling Asahi the truth was because he thought he couldn’t meet his expectations, at least not immediately. While people would write him off as shy, Asahi was very clingy; when he was comfortable, he would lean his entire body on you and somehow manage to be really tender and careful. And even though being suffocated by those strong arms sounded like a dream, part of Noya’s awful overreactive brain was afraid that would expose him more than it should. The fact that Asahi was telling him that they could have their moments all concealed until Noya was comfortable enough with himself to not hide it anymore meant a lot to him, and really did a number on his heart.

“Absolutely.” He said firmly, and Noya squirmed in his hug to contort himself up in order to kiss him, because that’s what he really wanted to do, own fears be damned. It was still sweet, like a gentle reminder that he _liked_ him, despite his troubling insecurities and his contradicting dilemmas, despite his sometimes too over-the-top ideas and bad decisions, despite everything Noya could hate about himself, Asahi was still there. 

While marveling at the sensation, they both also forgot they needed to breathe. When Noya separated with a big gasp and made a slight ‘pop’ sound, Asahi giggled like a little kid as he tried to regain his breath. Then he realized he was squeezing Noya and his little feet almost didn’t touch the ground, so he made sure to let go of him slowly. They would never catch him admitting that he did find their height differences extremely cute. 

“…Oh wow.” Noya sighed, he looked stunned. “Can you… give me a minute? I think I might need a minute.” 

“Yeah, yeah I kinda need a minute too.” Asahi agreed, licking his lips self-consciously. He weaved one of his hands through his hair, messing it up. “To um, scream into a pillow. I’ll um- I’ll wait for you upstairs? This time for real?” 

“Yeah, yeah sure uh huh.” Noya nodded too enthusiastically. He wanted to freak out now that he had come down from the high, and he didn’t want to do that in front of Asahi. Looking into the other’s eyes, he knew that his partner also needed a moment to steady his heartbeat. “Great, I’ll see you in a moment, yes.” 

“Okay.” Asahi muttered between his teeth, giving Noya a shy little smile before making his way back up the stairs with amusingly small steps. Noya couldn’t help but smirk at his big shoulders all shrugged up with his long hair half hiding his reddened face. 

“Asahi?” he called before the other could completely disappear into the room. Asahi turned towards him so quickly his hair wiped him in the face slightly, Noya unable to contain his laughter. Then he bit his lips and asked: “was that… your first kiss?”

Noya didn’t know a human could become so red and yet he saw it happen right in front of his eyes, Asahi blushed all the way down to his neck and for a moment it seemed he couldn’t breathe. A million things were racing through his mind, wondering if he had done something wrong, if it had been off, because he wasn’t really thinking about it, it was odd for him to let go like that. Should he had been more careful? More thoughtful? Less eager? Less pushy? 

“Y-Yeah…” he stuttered, and he was prepared to start apologizing for the million scenarios that formed in his head but instead he saw Noya smile, and everything stopped. He looked simply… happy, content in a deeper way than most people saw, free and at ease like he rarely let anyone see. The guy under the loud banging personality smiled at him, and Asahi felt like maybe his troubles weren’t that bad. 

“No worries.” He told him, and then blushed as well. Asahi knew he would do just about anything to keep Noya that way, to keep him feeling like he was worth everything Asahi could give him and even more after that. “It was my first too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone!  
lets have some(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧love ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)   
hope you like this chapter, I feel like its time for our boys to be happy with each other ~(˘▾˘~)  
thank you so so so much for all your kind comments and kudos, have a great week! <3


	28. If I have you then it'll be okay

Kageyama had never been to a sleepover. He really never saw the appeal of spending the night at another person’s house, to him it made no difference and wasn’t something special. He had been reluctant at first to the Karasuno Sleepover, but since Hinata seemed so excited about it, he figured he might as well try it. His parents were also quite happy that he was going out with his friends, because that had never happened when he was in middle school. Kageyama went in with zero expectations, and a couple hours later he found himself wishing the night would go on forever. 

The others were loud, comfortable, somehow different from when they were their player selves. Kageyama really got the feeling of the dynamic that was going on with them outside of the court, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. It made him feel… included, and safe, and even though having a connection with your teammates was important for volleyball, now he knew that having them as his friends was even better. Even though he was quiet throughout most of the session, he was enjoying himself more than he was willing to admit. He also noticed Hinata checking up on him every few minutes to make sure he was having fun, and made it clear that he could tell him he wasn’t having it at any time. The fact that Hinata cared so much about him being comfortable was definitely pulling at his heart strings. 

Kageyama had the full sleepover experience, he did some stupid shit, ate a bunch of junk food (because even him felt comforted by snacks), spilled some truths that he thought would never leave his mouth, and generally had a good time with his friends, now that he could proudly call them that. At least, Kageyama thought that was it, but it was when they all called it a night that he started feeling the missing part of a sleepover: the urge to be extremely sincere with your partners while in a dark room pretending to be asleep at 3am. 

He was sharing a room with Hinata, and they had gone about their business in silence, not really commenting on anything as they got ready for bed. They had shared a small goodnight a few moments ago, but Kageyama could see that Hinata was still awake, even if he was curled up and facing away from him. They hadn’t really talked that much after their conversation in the broom closet, and Kageyama wasn’t really fond of the idea of bringing it up. He would be the first one to admit that the sudden vulnerability he had shown in that moment was very odd of him, and part of his subconscious was dying to know what was really going through Hinata’s head. 

The silence felt heavy, like he needed to fill it but couldn’t really find the words. Kageyama sometimes wished they could just have a normal conversation: no weird tension between them, no heavy doubts, no pressure coming from the team…

“Kageyama?” Hinata whispered, like testing the waters. “Are you awake?” 

“Yeah.” He responded in the same hushed voice. Hinata only hummed, and Kageyama felt the silence was now awkward, like he needed to say something else. Hinata wasn’t the type of person to really keep secrets, most of his truths were stories of him getting into trouble when he was younger, and then helping his sister Natsu get into trouble when she was a toddler. It seemed almost impossible that he could hide something deep down, but Kageyama knew better. He knew that Hinata was in fact insanely good at concealing what he didn’t want others to see. He had been doing it almost his entire life, putting up a front of confidence and defiance when people would bring him down. Kageyama thought it was an impressive quality to have, but he also recalled how Hinata had hidden the fact that he was being affected by Kageyama for so long that when he finally snapped it had hit him in the face. Overall, he concluded that he needed to be more attentive. 

“Can I ask you something?” Hinata interrupted his thoughts. Kageyama grunted in affirmation, and even though he could feel the atmosphere was heavy, nothing could have prepared him for the actual question. “… Do you still like Oikawa?” 

“Oh God no.” he answered immediately. He would have tried to make Hinata laugh it off if his tone hadn’t been so somber. “That was a long time ago. I was dumb and impressionable.” 

“Do you think he knew? Back then?” he questioned, and Kageyama didn’t like how they were still talking about this. 

“No, I’m pretty sure he didn’t. I wouldn’t have heard the end of it, why are you asking me this? I regret ever saying that.” 

Hinata did scoff at his remark, but it wasn’t satisfactory as the other times he had made him laugh. Kageyama really didn’t want to think about that specific portion of his past, now that he reflected back on it he cringed at how pathetic he had been. How sad it had really been to be the weird kid following an upperclassman like he was some sort of master, how he thought that if he bothered him enough he would teach him something, anything. He sighed. 

“I regret saying a lot of things, actually.” The words slipped his tongue before he could really do anything. Kageyama always had something in his mind. Whether it was new strategy ideas, analyzing plays both his own and other team’s, replaying rallies over and over again. He didn’t realize his ability to visualize things in his mind was god given, that not everyone could take an event and repeat it with picture-perfect accuracy to analyze it from different angles. It also had its disadvantages; that he just couldn’t bring himself to do it with things that weren’t related to volleyball was a shame, but mainly what bothered him was the fact that sometimes it became too much. He would be plagued by so much information that made him feel so overwhelmed he would have to seek a quiet and dark place, far from all the stimuli that wouldn’t have bothered him otherwise. Case and point him hiding in the supply closet, because the general background noise was then deafening and the normal lights were blinding. 

People often saw him as the calm, collected, analytical player with outstanding in-game intelligence; and that’s what he wanted to be ideally. In reality he was a bit more like Asahi in the sense that he couldn’t get his mind to shut up. Hinata knew Kageyama’s thought process was unique and oh so wildly different from his own, and even though he tried to understand it as best he could, he didn’t really get the whole extend of it. The fact that Kageyama wasn’t vocal about it didn’t help, it was one of those things that he kept to himself, barely even talked about. Hinata had seen glimpses of what it was like in his mind; especially when he would catch him mechanically repeating the hand signs they used in matches, not really to remember them but as a buffer when he was trying to focus on something else. 

Kageyama knew his brain was one if not his strongest weapon, but that didn’t mean he didn’t hate it sometimes. He found it ironic how he could have such a good in-game awareness but fell flat when it came to dealing with school, or more troubling, his own feelings. Now that they were out of the tournament, there was no practice, no nothing, he was left with that awful silence that he came to despise. When he would feel that eerie energy creeping up on him he would grab Hinata by the wrist and led him to a court so they could practice, and after a couple plays it would go away; but he had a feeling that wouldn’t be an option at least for a while. He would have to face the silence, and the silence led to thinking. 

Kageyama hated thinking. Self-reflection was meant to be good, but to him it was actual hell on earth. He had done so many bad things in his life, treated people horribly because of his own inability to project himself properly, years of him not seeing the wrong in his actions now came all at once to bite him. He wondered how people put up with him, questioning how no one had slapped him in an attempt to shape him up or just out of pure frustration. Then he remembered Oikawa had actually come close. That was a can of worms he did not want to deal with. He understood why Suga had kicked him out of the gym on the first day, why Asahi had had such a hard time asking him to teach him how to jump serve; why Hinata sometimes talked back to him in a way that genuinely hurt, because Kageyama hurt him just as badly. 

The parade of mistakes that he could do nothing to fix left him overwhelmed, dancing in front of his eyes fueled by his own self-hatred. It was hard to discern just what the hell was going on when he was left with his guilt and anger and _pain-_

“Kageyama?” he was snapped out of his thoughts by Hinata’s voice, that had risen just above a whisper. He blinked a couple times and realized he had a death grip on the covers. “You okay? You zoned out for a bit.” 

“… yeah, sorry.” He said, relaxing his hands and feeling his fingers cramp in protest. He sighed, and stole a quick look towards his partner. Hinata had rolled over and was facing him, one arm comfortably tugged under his pillow and even in the darkness of dusk he could see his eyes. Big, chocolaty eyes that felt so serene, but also glinted with an unspoken feeling behind them. “What were you saying?” 

“I said that I thought we already had this conversation.” He repeated, and there was no hardship in his voice. “You said you regret a lot of things, what are you still thinking about?” 

“… I’m kind of mad.” Kageyama admitted, and even he sounded unsure of the statement. 

“Why?” Hinata prompted, infinitely patient. Kageyama felt a knot start to form in his throat, his body trying to physically form a barrier so that the words wouldn’t come out. He swallowed harshly and forced himself to speak his mind: he couldn’t keep expecting people to understand him if he didn’t communicate. 

“No one… yelled at me for the mistakes I made today. No one called me out when I let my feelings cloud my judgement, no one told me anything when I was running everyone into the ground, when I fucked up my serves because of stupid reasons.” 

“Well, because nobody actually blamed you for any of that.” Hinata answered rationally. “I know that match was a bigger deal for you, but we’re a team. We win together, and we lose together as well.” 

Kageyama envied Hinata in a few ways, one of them was how simple and uncomplicated he could make things sound. Kageyama would have this mess of thoughts and then Hinata would come and put them in order with just one sentence. It was ironic how at the beginning of their friendship he would constantly tease him about having a one-track mind, but really, how was having 50 tracks any better? 

Every time he started thinking about how he met Hinata his chest would contort in a weird way. It was bizarre to look back on his feelings back then and seeing how much had changed in a short time. That big of a shift often unsettled him, how fast Hinata had become a crucial part of his life; and that lead him to think about just how fast he could lose it. 

“…Hinata?” he found himself muttering, sighing heavily. Hinata answered with a small ‘yeah?’ that sounded cautious, like he somehow knew Kageyama was about to say something important. “… have you really forgiven me?” 

His question was met with silence. Kageyama didn’t have the guts to look at him, afraid of what he might find in his eyes. It was a thought that haunted him ever since they talked, something in the back of his mind could not believe that Hinata could just forgive him like he said he had, not that easily, not after everything. Sure, Hinata had apologized as well, but he had only hurt his feelings as a result of what he was going through, Kageyama could put himself in his shoes and understand why he lashed out like he did. But what he did to Hinata? He had helped shatter his confidence so much that he wasn’t really playing anymore, with how important volleyball was for them, Kageyama couldn’t imagine a person stripping him of his desire to play and then having them around still. 

“What makes you think I haven’t forgiven you?” Hinata asked, prompting himself up on his elbow. When Kageyama dared to glance in his direction, he was surprised to find a concerned frown pulling his eyebrows together. 

“… it’s complicated, I-” he started, but had no follow up. He gapped, trying to force words out of his mouth but he produced only senseless babbling. “I just don’t see how you could just… forget about it.” 

“I’m not the kind of person that holds grudges. Even if I seem like it… I can’t stay mad at you for long.” He sounded so sincere it made Kageyama’s heart ache. He didn’t deserve this; he didn’t deserve any of this. “And if I’m being honest, I think you’re worried about me not forgiving you because you haven’t forgiven yourself.” 

“Goddammit…” he cursed, rubbing at his eyes so hard he saw weird shapes floating around. “I don’t know how I feel, I don’t-”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” Hinata told him softly, sensing his struggle, probably because he was choking on air and unable to form coherent sentences. 

“My feelings are complicated, and you make it worst.” He spat out, hands now clawing at his hair. Hinata fell silent, like he too didn’t know what to say. Kageyama was painfully aware of how that sounded but couldn’t do much about it in the state he was in. 

“…I’m sorry?” Hinata tried, when the silence became too long. The worst part about it is that he sounded like he meant it. 

“No don’t apologize!” Kageyama exclaimed. “Fuck, that’s not what I meant. Shut up. Listen to me.” 

Kageyama sat up fully and rubbed his face with his hands. In a couple second’s thought he decided that he needed to _do something_ about the mess that sat heavy on his heart. He didn’t think he could handle another big fallout with Hinata, but he also couldn’t continue carrying the bundle of unresolved issues around with him, not when it made him bitter and hurt other people. He didn’t want that anymore, so he might as well start with the person that was most important to him, who was there staring with his big eyes from the bed next to his. 

“I don’t… I don’t know how I feel about you.” Kageyama said, his cheeks flaring with the sudden weight of his words, but he couldn’t stop now. “I don’t know if I just look up to you, or if I like you, or if I just… fuck, the point is that no one has ever, I haven’t- I have never cared about anyone the way I care about you. But I don’t know what that means.” 

He looked over in search of an answer, and didn’t know what to expect. Half of him was almost sure Hinata was going to burst into a nervous laughter and brush him off, but what actually happened was that he bit his lip thoughtfully and said: 

“Can I be honest with you too?” Kageyama simply nodded, hugging his knees to his chest in an attempt to hide. “You fuck with my head too, but I do know what I feel for you. I’m just scared you-”

“Just tell me.” He blurted out, closing his eyes like bracing himself for a blow. 

“I like you.” Hinata said simply, and Kageyama wiped around to look at him as if he had just insulted him. He saw Hinata recoil slightly, but he could see how his reaction could be taken badly. His brain was going into shock, he thought Hinata was about to tell him he didn’t want him around anymore, that he had had enough of him and that he thought it was best if they just kept being teammates. “Gosh just… you don’t have to overthinking it, it’s stupid…”

“It’s not!” Kageyama snapped, but his tone was incredulous more than angry. “What do you mean you- wait! H-How??” 

“What a way to fish for complements, Bakayama.” Hinata snorted, an actual grin plastered on his face. The fact that he could joke in a moment like this didn’t help Kageyama’s racing mind. He stared at Hinata for a solid ten seconds, trying to figure out what he was thinking, what he should say back, wanting to just _make sense_ of everything. Hinata noticed him getting stupidly overwhelmed and calmly made his way to Kageyama’s bed, sitting cross-legged in front of him. “You don’t have to say anything, anything at all. I just want you to know that… well, you’re important to me, Tobio. And… we made a promise, remember? That means sticking around even when things aren’t going well.” 

“… I don’t know when things are going to be well again, though” Kageyama said, his voice strained. He was playing the victim and he knew it, but with his heart stripped like this there was little else he could do. “It’s not fair to have you carry my problems when you have nothing to do with them. I’m not… alright, and I don’t know how to be. Everyone seems to know implicit things that I don’t get, I hurt people that I care about and I end up pushing them away. I don’t… I don’t want to lose you, Shouyou, but I feel like- like you deserve better.” 

“Tough luck, buddy.” He said, softly enveloping him with his arms. Kageyama could feel his breathing, strong and steady, his mess of orange hair tickled his cheek, and he was unsure whether to put his arms around his frame as well or not, he really didn’t know how close he could get and he didn’t want to push his luck. “Because I’m not going anywhere.” 

Kageyama sighed. He couldn’t have expected less, he knew Hinata was awfully stubborn, and had a vein for proving people wrong. Now Kageyama had told him that he didn’t think he was enough, that he was flawed and broken and maybe not at all what Hinata wanted, but he still hugged him close like he didn’t want to lose him either. He let out the air he was holding once again, realizing that if Hinata had chosen this, then there was nothing he could do to make him change his mind. It wasn’t like that put a slight smile on his lips or anything like that. 

They ended up lying together, Hinata’s head comfortably placed against Kageyama’s chest. He could bury his face in his orange locks and try to make everything else fade away. Hinata raised a hand to tangle his fingers in his hair and start to work the knots out, soothingly massaging his scalp. 

“This is weird.” He blurted out. He never thought he could have Hinata so relaxed and close to him, his unbothered and uncomplicated self just pressed against him like it was only natural. 

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his hand withdrawing. 

“No.” Kageyama decided he did like the feeling of it, it was somehow grounding. Hinata continued petting him softly until his eyelids began to feel heavy with sleep. Maybe he would wake up later to find that it had all been a dream, that Hinata was in his own bed, that he hadn’t really admitted to _liking him_ (still trying to wrap his head around that one). “Hinata, what are we gonna do about this?” 

“What do you suggest we do?” he replied, his voice slightly lower than usual. He was beginning to fall asleep too. 

“… I don’t know.” Kageyama said honestly. The turmoil in his chest had somewhat calmed, but he knew it wasn’t completely gone. He was still confused and feeling guilty about a bunch of things. “But… I guess if I have you then it’ll be okay.” 

“Yeah…” Hinata agreed, closing his eyes and sighing contently. Kageyama tried pushing his luck just the slightest, placing a soft kiss to Hinata’s forehead. He felt good doing it, and Hinata’s little giggle made his heart skip a beat. 

Love was complicated, and not very pretty sometimes. Kageyama didn’t even know if what he felt was _love_, but he did feel _something_. It was raw and made him want to scratch at his own skin, but Hinata’s presence allowed him to breathe through it. It hadn’t been a big revelation, a proclamation of what he felt: that he wanted to have Hinata by his side, and that he hoped his promise of being with him in a court with a red uniform would be more than just a teenage dream. Maybe he was foolish, maybe he didn’t know what the hell he was doing; but being there with Hinata’s arm thrown around him and his legs intertwined with his, he knew that he would work it out eventually. Kageyama allowed himself a smile before drifting to sleep with the guy he cared about most safely tucked in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys (>人<)  
so I totally missed an update, I had exams last week and oh boi ʘ‿ʘ  
(Im also out of pre-written chapters oof)   
Of course I wouldnt abandon this for anything in the world, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
I'll do my best to write and post the next one on time ;)  
hope you have a great week and thanks again for all the support! <3


	29. Maybe I do

When Noya woke up, the sun was peeking from under the curtains. He stirred, rubbing his eyes and feeling a slight headache pound at his temples. He opened his eyes to find an empty room. He also noticed the bed besides his was neatly made. Noya wasn’t really surprised by the fact that he woke up alone, the homeowner always wakes up last, that was sleepover law. 

He gathered himself, his eyes adjusting to the lightning. Surprisingly, the hallway was in silence and completely empty. However, he did smell something insanely good coming from the kitchen, and for a second thought his senses were fooling him. Noya went down the stairs wobblingly only to find no other than Asahi, standing in front of the stove with a spatula in his hand. 

He was wearing sweats and a light shirt that left little to the imagination of the defined muscles under it, his hair was up in a messy bun and he was balancing from one foot to the other as he watched the pan in front of him with immense concentration. Noya could only stare at the image, blinking a couple of times to confirm he wasn’t dreaming. Asahi? In the huge kitchen making breakfast? Looking unbelievably cute as he stirred some eggs with utmost dedication? He had to have made this up. 

For a while he only watched Asahi work without a sound, not wanted to break his concentration. Noya also noticed he was humming a lively tune with his gruff morning voice. Eventually Asahi turned around and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Noya by the staircase, staring with a sly smile playing on his lips. 

“Jesus Christ, don’t do that!” He breathed out, placing the plates down on the table. “H-How long have you been there?” 

“Enough.” Noya answered, yawning and making his way further into the kitchen. “What’s all this? You took over of my kitchen?” 

At that Asahi blushed slightly and tried to hide behind his hair, failing since it was pushed back. Noya hopped on the counter and made grabby hands at him, actually pouting like a child. Asahi chuckled and rolled his eyes at his gesture, but was quick to envelop him in his arms, rubbing his cheek against his head affectionately. Noya relaxed into the embrace and breathed out. 

So the night before had been real, and not a figment of his longing imagination. After actually going to bed, Noya had laid awake for at least another hour, his mind barely processing what had happened between the blur of the night’s events. Recalling the somber words that had left his mouth felt bizarre, almost like watching someone else play his character. He remembered Asahi’s kindness, the way he looked at him, he remembered him saying he _liked him?!_

And how could Noya forget, when the feeling of Asahi’s lips lingered on his and kept him awake. He knew he had some things to figure out, things about himself that hurt to think about and would surely take time, but in that particular moment Noya decided to just throw everything out the window and focus on what was directly in front of him. Asahi gasped slightly when Noya softly undid his hair bun, letting his silky hair fall on his shoulders. The taller guy seemed flustered, like he himself couldn’t believe what had happened between them either. 

It was weird to consider, that now they could be close like this because they _liked each other_ and the both of them _knew it_. For Asahi it was hard to grasp, when he had decided to stop hiding his feelings he expected to be hurt, to have his heart turned to mush because honestly, when did things go his way? 

And yet Noya was there, sitting on a kitchen counter with arms thrown around his shoulders and legs dangling at each side of him. This time it was Noya that pressed a kiss to his lips, catching him by surprise and making him flinch. Noya immediately backed away, at the same time as Asahi leaned forward to let him know it was okay. They ended up with quite a bit of space between them, enough for Noya to see Asahi’s face turn bright red in a matter of seconds and his eyes widen with settling panic. 

“I-I-I’m… shit, I’m s-sorry.” Asahi stuttered, knowing that if he died right then and there, he would be relieved to have escaped the embarrassment. Noya tried to hide an amused smile and failed, laughing nervously as well. 

“Wanna try that again?” he suggested, trying to get past the slight awkwardness and actively ignoring how he had managed to fuck up so quickly. He thought he knew what he was doing, that the relationship or whatever they had would be easy. Boy was he wrong. 

Despite the setback, Noya has bold enough to place his hands on Asahi’s cheeks but he didn’t want to pull him towards him. It wasn’t necessary since Asahi himself leaned into it to seal their lips together, softly and shyly at first but then more confidently. Noya breathed out and relaxed into it, lazily weaving his fingers through Asahi’s long hair. Maybe things were not very easy between them, but showing each other affection like this was almost effortless. It gave Noya some kind of reassurance that he could, one day, be okay with all this. 

He didn’t listen to the part of him that was screeching maniacally at the fact that he was kissing Asahi, a very manly man, in the middle of the huge open-spaced kitchen where anyone could see them; Noya didn’t really care to listen to those voices when he had other, more pleasant things in his mind. Hell, him lazily kissing his partner in the morning with the lingering smell of breakfast was a full-on domestic fantasy, Noya allowed himself to dream. 

The nice wholesome atmosphere was broken when Asahi suddenly backed away harshly and covered his mouth looking elsewhere, as if Noya’s touch had burned him all of a sudden. He pretended he didn’t feel a painful pang on his chest, like it didn’t hurt to think that maybe Asahi had come to his senses and was now disgusted with himself from having kissed him like that. He could only frown and feel miserable for a few seconds before realizing that there was someone else in the room. 

Noya’s face lost all of it color when he heard the steps coming closer, and Asahi wasn’t any better. Both of them were acting like they had been caught doing something much filthier than kissing, but when Asahi considered that Noya didn’t want people knowing about them just yet, he felt insanely guilty for indulging in their bond so carelessly. He should have known, the thought of having outed Noya without his explicit consent made him sick and almost brough tears to his eyes. 

“Don’t mind me, I’m just-” Suga tried to play it cool, but sensed the heavy atmosphere anyway. He was also still in pajamas and his hair was sticking out in weird places. “I’m hungry and it smelled really good I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Guess the cat’s out of the bag.” Noya sighed almost defeatedly, rubbing his face with his hands. Asahi wanted to desperately comfort him, but also felt like he should give him some space. “Sorry… you had to see that.” 

“Oh no worries, I kissed Daichi last night.” Suga commented, making his way to the coffee machine to get a cup. Asahi’s mind was being straight up assaulted by so many things, but he noticed a smile grow on Noya’s face, and he seemed relieved to have the attention diverted away from him. 

“Tongue?” he asked, crossing his legs under himself and watching Suga with his head tilted to the side. Asahi assumed it was better if they moved on from the topic, apparently not having a big reaction was the best thing Suga could have done in that particular situation, and he thanked him immensely for having the dread erased from Noya’s expression. 

“Yeah.” Suga whispered, smirking as his cheeks turned slightly pink. 

“Nice.” Noya hummed sexily and Asahi just stood there speechless, only for the man in question to come into scene with a fake offended look on his face having heard the exchange from the stairway. Was everyone just going to appear with that kind of freaky timing? 

“So crude!” Daichi exclaimed, pretending to be mad, but his act dropped when Suga looked up at him and pinched his cheek affectionally. Asahi could then picture his friend melting into a puddle, and honestly, he knew the feeling. 

“You think Hinata and Kageyama finally smooched as well?” Noya asked, as they all settled and watched Asahi continue his work while picking stray pieces of food, trying not to get their prying hands slapped away. 

“Those two have been having big heart eyes for each other, but them doing something about it?” Suga said, shaking his head. “Many things don’t make sense when you’re 15.” 

“And that coming from the guy that waited 3 years to ask me out, I’d believe it” Daichi teased, making his partner gasp indignantly and poke his side. 

“You didn’t ask me out either! You hypocrite!” Suga replied, making them all laugh slightly, the air losing the tension it held before. 

“Hell, I’m 18 and many things still don’t make any sense.” Asahi added rolling his eyes, and was rewarded with Noya chuckling under his breath. “We’re all idiots it’s what I’m saying.” 

“That’s fair.” Daichi said, bringing a cup of coffee up to his lips. “Still, there’s something in your house Noya that just got us all compelled to confess our feelings.” 

“I guess you’re right.” Noya commented offhandedly, but gave Asahi a knowing look that made him blush not-so-subtlety. Daichi was still hiding his face behind the mug but given how he raised a critical eyebrow at him, Asahi knew he could tell something had happened. They could have that long conversation afterwards. 

Both Hinata and Kageyama walked into the kitchen to a very particular scene, all their seniors sitting around a table, all of them still in sleepwear and bickering playfully about something. When they noticed their presence, they all turned their heads with a freaky synchronization and stared at them intently. Hinata fully stopped and stared back, Kageyama wished Hinata was taller than him so he could hide behind him in that moment. 

“So…” Noya started, making space so they could sit and eat as well. Kageyama didn’t exactly feel at ease with all their eyes on him but he was definitely hungry. “Are you guys finally together?” 

“Noya!” Asahi scolded him, blushing with second-hand embarrassment and staring his partner down. Noya just shrugged and looked like he didn’t think it was an invalid question. 

“What!?” Hinata was the first to react, dropping his food halfway to his mouth. He shook his head a little too enthusiastically and his expression shifted into one of incredulity. “No! of course not!” 

“Why would I be with a dumbass like Hinata??” Kageyama said, trying to sound offended. The laughter that ensued told him that they did not believe him, but then again he really didn’t have a solid answer for that question. He tried to catch Hinata’s eye to try and figure out what he was thinking, but the guy avoided his gaze the entire time. 

They weren’t _together_, not necessarily. Kageyama just knew that Hinata would be by his side no matter what happened, no matter how long he took to figure things out, but he really didn’t think about Hinata as his _boyfriend_. That was a scary word, meant a lot of things that he wasn’t sure he would be able to fulfill. But what if Hinata _wanted_ a boyfriend? What if Kageyama could not fit that role? What then? He had said that he liked him, directly and word for word. Kageyama wasn’t good with undertones, what if his words had a hidden meaning that he was supposed to understand but simply didn’t? God, what if-

His derailed train of thought came to a full stop when he felt Hinata kick him from under the table, and when he looked up he met those knowing eyes of his. _You’re overthinking_, Hinata scolded him silently, and Kageyama knew he could see right through him, _Stop it_. For once, Kageyama tried to listen to him. He didn’t need to think about those things, specially not then when he was having breakfast with his team- no, his friends. 

After tiding everything up and leaving the house practically spotless, they all walked to the nearest bus stop and said their goodbyes. Kageyama noticed that Suga and Daichi were walking with their hands softly intertwined. He looked down at his own hand, Hinata was walking besides him chatting lively with Tanaka; but for once he wasn’t articulating wildly so his arm rested almost against his. He could hold his hand, he was almost entirely sure Hinata would allow it, but…

Well if he really wanted to make up his mind about what he felt, he at least needed to try some new things. It was the most rational thing to do about the thing that made the least sense in his mind. He cautiously moved his hand closer to Hinata’s, staring at him from the corner of his eye to see if there was any adverse reaction. He couldn’t just grab his hand without saying anything, that would be weird right? 

Then their hands brushed together and Kageyama caught Hinata glancing down for like a second, and then try to suppress a smile, not quite succeeding. He ended up hooking their pinkies together and being warmly surprised when it felt _right_ to do so. The image made his heart beat a little faster, and he had to refrain himself from staring too much. It was a hard task given how much Hinata seemed to be glowing, his hair looked incredibly soft and the vibrant orange color of it was somehow alluring. His rich brown eyes caught the sun rays and became like honeycomb, the freckles spread across his nose and cheeks scrunched together when he smiled, the lean lines of his body that seemed to fit him so well… 

Had Hinata always been this… breathtaking? When had Kageyama started having this kind of vision? 

Before he could think too much about it they were at the stop, and after several goodbyes Kageyama felt weirdly hyper. He needed to do something else to keep his mind from running itself into the ground, but he doubted he could have Hinata run laps with him in his maniacal way. 

“You look like you need to run, Kageyama.” Hinata said, somehow still standing by his side. For a moment he could only stare. 

“How…” he started asking, but lost his words when Hinata laughed triumphantly. Had he read his mind? He could do that? How could someone even handle that when his mind was such chaos 90% of the time? 

“I’m developing my psychic powers.” He joked, pressing his fingers to his temples and moving his eyebrows up and down. Kageyama shoved him playfully and Hinata returned it without hesitation. “Kidding. Since you suck so bad with words, I’m trying to read you, and it looks like I’m succeeding.” 

“Oh I didn’t know you knew how to read in general.” He said, and received a slight kick in the shin. Besides that, his chest filled with a weird kind of joy, because he felt appreciated by Hinata trying to understand him even with him being so difficult. 

“Mean!” Hinata called, but it wasn’t ill-intended. It was nice to know they could go back to playfully argue without much of a serious note. “Do you want to go running together or not? Test to see if I’m still faster than you?” 

The mocking tone somehow got him even more excited about the prospect. As if they hadn’t already spent several hours together, Hinata and Kageyama met yet again, this time in full workout clothes and ready to grind each other into dust. Only a minute and half into their run that was way too fast for a head start, Kageyama realized he was feeling happy. 

.

Everything hurt, but Hinata was still smiling like an idiot. They had come full circle to where they started, only with the differentiating factor of having run 10 kilometers. He was absolutely drenched in sweat, he felt uncomfortably sticky and it appeared as if he kept standing for more than a couple seconds his legs were going to give up on him. Cool, collected Kageyama was heaving, and could barely carry himself straight. They did a lap around the park, walking like actual snails and then Hinata decided it was only naturally to flop face-first onto the grass. Kageyama joined him only a second later, falling a little more gracefully. Even with the cool-down lap, his heart was pumping so fast he could feel it in his soul. 

They were silent for a full minute, and then Hinata had to start mocking him in between large breaths. Kageyama only smiled lopsidedly, too out of it to really bite back. He was better in some respects, but maybe he needed to come to terms with the fact that Hinata was always going to be faster than him. Maybe he was okay with that, maybe he could be content with running after him. 

“Ukai-sensei is gonna kill us…” Hinata murmured, rolling over and staring at the sky. Kageyama only chuckled. While it was true that they tried to follow all of their couch’s advice, they could really never follow the ‘sit still and rest’ order. They had definitely pushed it and they were going to be sore for like a week straight. 

“Don’t care right now, ‘m too high.” Kageyama blubbered, letting himself drop fully onto the grass. 

“Of course you are you… sports junkie.” Hinata teased him, wiping sweat off his forehead even though it did little to help his state. He managed to sit up and stared at Kageyama all spread in the ground next to him, eyes closed and the tiniest of smiles pulling on his lips. Even with his hair all damp and his cheeks flushed from the effort, Hinata thought he look stunning. Blissful was a good look on Kageyama. 

“Sorry to break your spell, but we kinda have to get going.” Hinata pointed out. Kageyama grunted like a spoiled child that didn’t want to move, and it made him feel slightly amused. “There’s that exam we have, and if I haven’t studied then you haven’t studied either.” 

“Yeah… guess you’re right.” 

So…" Hinata started, and for once was glad his face was already red from the run. "You um, you wanna come study together later?" 

Oh what a romantic evening; just him, Kageyama, and a bunch of confusing equations and test samples. He watches Kageyama's reaction closely, as if expecting him to laugh it off at how ridiculous of a proposal it was. They both hated studying for anything related to school, how was doing it together supposed to help? 

"I hope you don't expect to use my brain power." Kageyama said, almost seriously 

"Well no, you don't actually have any." He replied. Kageyama only rolled his eyes, that one he had practically handed it to him. "I just thought…"

"It sounds nice." Kageyama said before Hinata could get too nervous, and he actually sighed in relief because he had started that sentence without knowing how to finish it. He could be simple and straight-forward and just say that he wanted the company, but didn't want to come off as too clingy. "I'll come." 

Hinata smiled like a fool and got up, feeling his calves burn like all hell, but it was worth it given he had won their little silly competition. Only a few hours later Kageyama found himself in the Hinata residence. He was a little concerned since he had spent almost 2 days straight out of his house when he used to be not leave it at all. He was stupidly nervous for reasons he couldn't point out, and he was incredibly grateful it was Hinata who opened the door and ushered him in. 

He guided him through a short hallway and into his room, and Kageyama noticed it was a little too tidy. That made him chuckle to himself. They got to work only after a couple minutes of useless banter, which knowing them, was honestly a success. A few minutes into their studying session, another head of bright orange hair poked through the door and Kageyama saw the smallest little girl, with high pigtails and the same amber brown eyes as Hinata. Their resemblance was almost creepy, like she was exactly how Kageyama thought Hinata had been when he was a kid. 

"Shouyoooo'" she sang, and Hinata raised his head from the sheet he was reading. His eyes widened in warning, which only placed a naughty smile on her lips. "Is that your boyfrieeeend?" 

"Natsu!" he snapped, dropping his pencil and glaring at his sister as she ran away giggling. He swore under his breath and hid his face in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, she does that with everyone I bring over. She thinks she's funny." 

Kageyama snorted and hung his head, receiving a playful push that almost made him fall over. For some reason he felt flattered by the joke, and it was always nice to see Hinata's reddened face. 

"She's cute." He commented, not really wanting to focus on their work again. Hinata huffed and leaned back dramatically. 

"A cute little shit you mean." He grumbled, and Kageyama felt like it wasn't the first time Natsu had bothered him one way or another. 

"Oh so just like you?" He replied, and Hinata gasped for a second and then closed his eyes with content, cocking an eyebrow. 

"Are you saying I'm cute?" He teased, and Kageyama looked away. Hinata laughed lively and was bold enough to rest his head on his lap, looking up at him through his eyelashes and smiling innocently. 

"I'm saying you're a dumbass." Kageyama said with an annoyed tone, but didn't try to shake him off. "And we're studying right now." 

"Yeah, yeah." Hinata murmured, and made the attempt to continue his reading while still lying on the floor. The weight of Hinata's head on his thigh was oddly comforting, and Kageyama found himself unconsciously moving his fingers closer to his hair, itching to run them through it. Maybe he would try it. They managed to work for a whole 7 minutes before Hinata sighed and dropped his papers on his face. "I’m bored..." 

"At least finish the section." Kageyama said seriously even though he had been reading the same sentence over and over again for a while now. "Never said studying was gonna be fun." 

"Kageyamaaaa." He whined. "I wanna play volleeeyyy." 

"This was your idea!" Kageyama exclaimed, but couldn't hide the laughter in his voice. "Besides, we won't be able to play if we don't pass this exam, so focus!" 

"Can't we take a little break?" He pouted, and Kageyama had a hard time not complying immediately. The things this guy did to his head, honestly. "Do some sets, I know you love those." 

"You need to stop." He told him. Like he was aware of his weaknesses as a player, Kageyama knew he had a soft spot the size of Jupiter for the shorter boy. 

"Just five minutes?" Hinata insisted. Kageyama shook his head and placed his copies on top of Hinata's face in attempt to muffle his voice. "Three short minutes?" 

What was a 'short minute'? How was it different from a normal minute? This guy was just making things up now. 

"A minute and a half?" He said as a final offer. 

"You're insufferable." Kageyama mused, finally burying his hand on his orange hair. 

"You love me." Hinata said smugly. 

Kageyama stayed silent and breathed out slowly. He felt his heart flutter in his chest, and couldn't deny he liked the feeling. He realized that maybe things were a lot simpler than he thought them to be, or at least Hinata made them be simple. He smiled. 

_Yeah_, Kageyama thought, stroking Hinata's hair softly. _Maybe I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
"""sleepover arc""" is officially over. btw the reason I didnt have the entire team there was simply because I find it hard to juggle so many characters at once.  
Much like haikyuu, I feel like my history is going into its final arc, expect a few more chapters tho :)  
thank you so so so much for all your support, and have a great week! <3


	30. Nothing to be afraid of

Suga hadn’t felt so content in a while. It seemed like everything was slowly clicking into place after being so messed up for so long. He had thought that jumping into the unknown with Daichi would be difficult, scary, and even stressful since he couldn’t keep the guy out of his mind and concentrate for months. That wasn’t the case, and Suga was actually shocked at how little their dynamic changed now that they were ‘a thing’. Sure, Daichi would sit closer to him, kiss his cheek occasionally and not hide his loving stare most of the time, but other than that it felt like they were still the same dorks that loved to spent time with each other. 

Graduation was so close yet felt so far away, Suga found himself all cluttered in his room with Asahi and Daichi, notes and textbooks scattered all over his bed as they struggled to get everything in time for exams. Asahi hadn’t really said much about his little fling with Noya, but they both knew he would figure it out eventually just like the rest of them; what also weighted heavy on his chest was the fact that school was getting so much harder, and they had to choose whether to stay on the team or not. They all knew it wasn’t uncommon for the third years to leave at this point in the year.

“Well I sure as hell ain’t leaving.” Asahi huffed with that slurred tone that only came out when he was extremely tired. “After all you guys bothered me into going back, so now I’m not gonna quit.” 

“I honestly don’t know. They might benefit from a new captain.” Daichi pondered, textbook forgotten by his side. 

“Oh come on.” Suga half-laughed, rubbing at his eyes. “I think Ennoshita would have a heart-attack if you passed him the baton right now.” 

“What about you?” Asahi teased him. “Thinking of ditching us for those advance college classes?” 

“Fuck no.” he answered, giving his friend a slight kick. They were all sprayed out on his bed, they had studied for a while but had given up by then. Suga knew they must all look terrible, but he felt happy for some reason. As it was usual with him, the fear of it all going away would strike not long after. It was almost like he had a fear of change that he could not get past, something he shared with Daichi. It was highly ironic how they were always helping each other but couldn’t even help themselves. Oh well. 

“I gotta go.” Asahi said, stretching his long body when he managed to stand up. 

“Where ya’ going?” Daichi asked, rolling over to occupy the free space. Asahi’s face blushed to a light pink and he undid his hair bun only to pull it up again. A smile plastered itself onto Suga’s face. 

“Noya’s grandpa invited me over for dinner.” Asahi admitted, and then quickly gathered his things to bolt out the door. “And that’s all I’m saying about it!” 

Suga laughed as he watched his friend escape their teasing stares, and then he scooted closer to Daichi, definitely crumbling some notes under his weight. Daichi rubbed his head against his like a cat and Suga scoffed, but raised his hand to scratch at his hair either way. It was almost magical how they could spend so much time together and never get tired, even if they were just sitting in silence among the remnants of their schoolwork. 

“Asahi’s so cute when he gets all flustered.” Suga commented. Daichi knew his partner had a vein for trying to get Asahi to admit he was in love with Nishinoya, so the fact that he had somewhat succeeded made him all smug. However, Daichi had spent enough time around Suga that he could tell when he was deflecting. 

“You’re cute.” He said, pressing a loud kiss to his temple. Suga scrunched up his nose and shook his head. 

“Oh don’t start.” He murmured, amused, knowing exactly what Daichi was doing. Between sweet words and gentle nudges Daichi could get him to spill just about anything, including things he didn’t want to talk about. Honestly, Suga was tired of it, tired of every other conversation involving something that deeply troubled them and that they didn’t know how to handle. Maybe he wanted to have a normal evening with his partner, where they talked about random stuff and made stupid jokes, but Daichi could see right through him and it was almost like his concern was transferred directly to him until it became unavoidable. 

“Why are you so stressed, love?” Daichi asked, burying one hand in his hair and scratching lightly at his scalp. Suga sighed, feeling relief coarse through him. 

“I don’t know.” He answered, mainly because it was way easier than even beginning to describe the mess he had on his head. Suga was starting to think their entire team had the same not-able-to-figure-things-out syndrome going on in their lives. 

“Do you want to do something in particular?” Daichi suggested, and his tone let Suga know that ‘homework’ wasn’t an option. 

“…Escape to the mountains and grow my own food, I guess?” Suga grumbled, and it made his partner laugh lightly. “But I can’t do that, I can’t just… keep escaping onto the outer city and stare at the sky for a few hours whenever I have problems.” 

“You were always quite the wanderer.” Daichi commented. Ever since they met, Suga had had that tendency to disappear whenever he was dealing with things, either by taking a bus and riding it for a while until he was in an unknown part of town, or maybe hiding below bridges or up in trees. Whatever his hideout was, Daichi always ended up finding him. “I know there’s a lot to do, and a lot to decide, but we’re sticking together, aren’t we?” 

“Of course we are.” Suga answered, prompting himself up on an elbow to look Daichi in the eye so he knew he was serious. He was met with the same loving gaze that even after all these years still took his breath away. 

“Then we’ll be fine. We can be scared shitless together.” 

He murmured it like it was their little secret, and he was so close that Suga could feel his breath on his face. Daichi caught him staring at his lips and started to blush, before letting out a nervous laugh and inching closer to kiss him…

The sound of a car just outside the house made Suga jump and instantly broke the nice atmosphere they had between them. A familiar brand of fear started setting in his chest as he got up swiftly and lifted his curtain; just slightly to look outside for what he hoped with every inch of his being wasn’t his parents. Despite his silent prayers, Suga recognized the slick black car pulling into the driveway. 

“Shit.” Was all he could muster as he started to throw Daichi’s things into his bag. At that, the captain also started to collect all the evidence that he had been in the room. Suga’s parents had made very clear that he wasn’t allowed to have anyone over while they were away, even if Suga broke that rule more often than not. Knowing the Sugawara’s, it was best not to get on their bad side. “Oh God, you think they saw Asahi leave??” 

Before Daichi could say anything, the sound of keys unlocking the door made their blood run cold. Suga stared at him in horror, not knowing what to do, an underlying fear in his eyes. He had no idea what his parents would do to him if they found Daichi here, and he didn’t want to find out. After a couple more seconds of panic and hearing his parents call out to him, Suga ended up pushing Daichi into his closet and closing it hastily with an ‘I’m so sorry wait for me.’ 

.

Daichi did not expect his night to end with him all crumbled up in Suga’s closet. His heart was racing, and he was trying extremely hard to not make a sound. He backed up as far as he could and even covered himself with the hanging clothes. At least it smelled nice in there. Daichi tried to listen to what was happening on the outside, but his own nerves made it hard to distinguish anything other than the rush of his blood. He felt like some kind of delinquent, like if Suga’s father found him he would kick him out and chase him with a shotgun or something, and they hadn’t even kissed! 

He didn’t know just how much time he spent in there, too afraid to even get his phone out. It seemed like an eternity, up until he heard the door to the room open and Suga’s voice reached him. 

“I’m gonna continue studying okay?” he called, and then he heard the door locking. For a moment there was only silence, and Daichi could imagine Suga standing in the middle of the room waiting for his parents to go down the hall. Then he heard steps coming closer to the closet, and then a voice that was barely even a whisper going “Daichi?” 

He moved towards the door and pushed it gently, poking his head out and seeing Suga was pale, his entire being tense and alert. Daichi stepped out of the closet as lightly as he could and refrained himself from making a coming out joke. Now wasn’t the time. Moving silently he got his bag and made his way to the window, drawing the curtains and lifting the glass. Thank God Suga’s house had only one floor. All those simple actions took a ridiculous amount of time given how slowly they were moving. 

Daichi swung his leg out the windowsill and it creaked, making them both freeze in place. Suga looked like he was about to burst into tears, and it made Daichi’s heart ache, knowing he was already stressed and being thrown into this situation wasn’t helping. Once Daichi was fully out, he signed for Suga to come closer only to place his hands on his cheeks and kiss him right on the lips. The action sent a wave of adrenaline through him, and much to his surprise Suga did kiss him back with a taste of desperation. When they separated, there was a furtive smile on his face. 

“I’ll see you around.” Daichi mouthed before tiptoeing through the garden and finally leaving Suga’s house without being caught.

.

Asahi had a nice time at the Nishinoya residence. Even if he got anxious and flustered around Noya, when a small grandpa tells you to come over for dinner then you come over for dinner. Noya had stopped complaining about his grandfather pestering over Asahi just a while ago, mainly because the two seemed to get along so well. He had always supported Noya in everything he did, but it was true that his grandson had a hard time sitting still, so grandpa absolutely adored shy, soft-spoken Asahi in a way that they could be quietly drinking tea together in the living room. 

Noya was also pleased to have Asahi over, and he was also glad that he kept touching to a minimum and carried himself within a respectable distance of him; which only made Noya see just how clingy he was when no one was around. The nice evening also made him forget about the absolute fear that would grip his insides whenever he thought about having _that_ conversation with his grandpa. 

Asahi, being the nice gentleman he was, left only after making sure everything was taken care of, the dishes washed and put back into place. He had gotten so comfortable around them that he was no longer nervous when interacting with his grandpa, and Noya couldn’t deny his heart swelled every time he saw Asahi slightly leaning down so he could be closer to his grandpa’s level. The elderly man would then convince him to stand up straight, that it wasn’t good for his back to slouch like that. 

When it's time for Asahi to leave and he's finally done saying his goodbyes (honestly, those two do talk a lot), Noya walks him to the door and decides it's better if they say _their_ goodbye outside. The little step in front of the door gives Noya a little boost, so he can see more clearly how Asahi blushes and rubs the back of his neck. 

"Thanks for inviting me." He says, his voice barely a whisper, but a small smile pulls at his lips. "I had a really nice time." 

"It was my grandpa's idea." Noya brushes it off, mainly because the very image of Asahi is making his gut twist in a weird way. "He loves you too much." 

Asahi laughs slightly and tries to cover it with a cough, and Noya notices how he's swaying from side to side and curling his fingers. He does that when he's nervous, but honestly Noya doesn't know how to make it better. His soothing powers don't seem to work when the thing that's causing Asahi to freak out is, well… him. 

"I'll um, I'll see you at school!" Asahi exclaims, and looks around frantically before giving Noya a short but thoughtful kiss and walking away as fast as he could without running. 

Noya watched him leave, stunned into silence. He reached up with his fingertips to touch his lips, where the feeling of Asahi's still lingered, and couldn't help but smile idiotically. Outside of playfully hugging his friends, Noya had always been cautious with how much he showed affection, especially with Asahi. Even if the taller boy told him he didn't mind people seeing them together, Noya felt all tangled up and confused with his conflicted feelings of wanting to throw himself at Asahi and _not_ wanting to be seen as oddly clingy for 'just a friend'. 

But ever since the sleepover he's been fantasizing more and more about holding Asahi's hand as they walk down the marketplace, giving him a quick peck on the lips when they meet at school, lying on the grass with his head on his lap… Before he knew he couldn't have all that because he was too afraid of what others were going to think, but now an odd part of him _wanted_ them to watch, to see him and Asahi be happily together and defy anyone who dared say anything bad about it. 

"Yuu?" his thoughts were interrupted by his grandpa calling him, making him realize he's been standing outside staring at nothing. "Sweetheart, can you come help me with this please?" 

"Coming." He calls back, and he can only roll his eyes endearingly at the nickname that he never really dropped. Noya secretly hoped he kept calling him that well into his 40's or something. He found his beloved grandfather in the kitchen, kettle already on the stove. Asahi had left mere minutes ago and this man was already making tea again. Noya was grateful to have the distraction of following his grandpa's ancient tea recipe. 

"Thank you, dear." The old man said, pleased with himself as they settled in the living room table. "You know, Azumane is a pretty great guy." 

The comment caught Noya off guard, but he managed to keep his composure somehow. He fidgeted with a small spoon before murmuring: "... You think so?" 

"Oh for sure." He agreed, pinching Noya's fingers playfully as to tease him for his nervousness. Sometimes the man could really just see right through him, which was a rather scary thought. "Does he treat you well?" 

"Does he- what?" Noya scoffed, an awkward dry laugh coming out of his throat as a panicked response. He quickly looked elsewhere and tried to ignore the rising fear in the pit of his stomach. There was no way his grandpa knew, they had always been really careful not to show or even _imply_ anything, and yet- Grandpa Nishinoya stared at him with a confused frown on his wrinkly face. 

"Are you two not together?" He asked innocently, and Noya could only sit there and feel his heart come to an abrupt stop. His hands became cold and clammy and he was sure this was the most god awful feeling he had ever experienced. He gaped, trying to form words, to deny it, to be outraged at the question but… 

"...how?" Noya whispered, dropping his head in shame and fighting back tears. He didn't want this, he wasn't ready, he felt as if he was pushed into an abyss that he wasn’t prepared to go down. 

"I may be old, child, but I'm not blind." His grandpa replied. Noya didn't see the amused smile and he was too out of it to hear it in his voice. "I see how Asahi looks at you, when you're not aware of it. I also see you staring at him with those big ol' eyes. I’ve lived through it, I know what love looks like." 

Noya’s brain did not register his grandfather’s lively tone, he was in too much of a turmoil to really grasp what was going on. To him, he was trapped in the table and his only father-figure had found out about something he put all his effort into hiding, and all because he couldn’t stop himself from staring at Asahi all lovestruck? It had to be a nightmare. Noya tensed up, looked away and closed his eyes tightly, bracing himself for the worst. He expected to be hurt, yelled that, told he was a disappointment or something along those lines. 

“Grandpa… I…” he stuttered, his voice trembling. Nishinoya senior had seen a lot of things in his life, but nothing had ever broken his heart quite like seeing the grandson that he had loved so passionately recoil in fear of him. 

“Yuu…” he tried to snap him out of it, but to no avail. Noya was dead set on the fact that his family was going to hate him for this, even if that sort of hatred came more from the inside. “I can only begin to understand how it must be for you, but please, don’t ever think that I would stop loving you for whatever reason, much less for who you are.” 

At that, Noya burst into tears. Everything was so surreal; he couldn’t bring himself to look at his grandpa in the eye when he was before him being a complete mess. However, he felt his grandfather’s short arms wrap softly around him, a soothing hand going up and down his back just like he used to do when he was a kid. Noya could barely believe what was happening, he was still in shock and yet his heart ached; he had thought he was going to get pushed away when in reality he was received with such a loving embrace…

“I’m sorry-” he managed to mumble between sobs. His grandpa shushed him, letting him know there was nothing to apologize for, but Noya still felt like he needed to justify his breakdown. In retrospect, it must have been scary for his grandpa, watching him freeze like a deer in headlights and act like he had gotten the worst news of his life. Noya knew how much his grandpa worried about him. “I was… I was scared, of- what you, what you might- think of me if you knew that I was-”

“Yuu, my love, nothing has changed!” his grandpa exclaimed, squeezing him even tighter. “In my eyes you’re still my grandson and you will always be.” He can’t help the hideous sob that goes through him, but the elder man doesn’t seem to mind and keeps him close even as his tears stain his shirt. “There’s no reason to cry, sweetheart, love is a beautiful thing.” 

“I… I don’t know if it’s love that I feel.” Noya says quietly, suddenly feeling more comfortable but at the same time knowing that if he doesn’t get it out now it’s going to make him rot from the inside out “I’ve never felt anything like it and… it’s unsettling.” 

“This kind of thing can be quite confusing, especially when you’re so young.” His grandpa replied, setting his chin on top of his head. “Remember what I’ve always told you? That you mustn’t let fear keep you from doing anything. That includes coming to me whenever you’re feeling like this, okay?” 

“…okay.” he compromises. Noya can’t promise he will feel better and like he’s a 100% healed, but it does alleviate some of the weight he carries. The fact that he could talk to his grandpa about these kinds of troubles meant the world to him, the thought of not having to hide anymore felt like a breath of fresh air that made his lungs sting a bit less. Grandpa Nishinoya pressed a kiss to his forehead and gathered up his tea, continuing on with their lives as if nothing had happened. His identity being “normal” and not changing absolutely anything about his household life expect the fact that Asahi was around sometimes, Noya hadn’t consider it to be possible. 

“Asahi’s a pretty great guy but he wrongs you I will kick him in the shins.” He heard his grandpa joke from the kitchen, and for the first time in a long while Noya thought that maybe he was going to be okay after all. 

.

Suga was fidgeting with the loose thread of his sleeve, lost in his thoughts. He was in the same park he had run off to during the sleepover, waiting for Daichi to show up. It was kind of ironic given he had told him he couldn’t keep escaping to sulk. Suga sometimes wondered exactly how Daichi felt about his cryptic messages of “meet me at x” that he sent him when he needed some air and some company, too overwhelmed to really give him any context over the phone. Still, Daichi always showed up, no matter how ridiculous the plan sounded. He still couldn’t believe that he had gotten away with having two of his friends over, one of them his boyfriend(?) while his parents were not home. He also wondered how he would break the news to them, if he even planned to. They already knew Daichi, but just as his childhood best friend that he spent an obscenely amount of time with. Maybe it was smarter to keep things as they were, Suga couldn’t deny that the adrenaline that had coursed through him when Daichi kissed him through the window while his parents were on the other room did make his head spin in a nice way. 

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. He cursed under his breath and heard Daichi laugh before pressing a kiss to his cheek. His warmth had Suga unconsciously curling against him, turning around and hugging him by snaking his arms under his coat. They stayed there for a little while, Suga almost lulled by the steady beat of Daichi’s heart. It was a mystery how sometimes he could be so calm around him and other times his pulse would skyrocket when he was close. 

“Suga?” Daichi prompted him curiously. Normally these kinds of outings happened when Suga wanted to talk, and now he was weirdly silent. Still, he simply sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. 

“I need a drink.” Suga said way too casually, and it made Daichi laugh even through his worry. 

“You sound like a divorced 30-year-old with two kids.” He joked, and was pleased when Suga let out an amused huff. 

“That’s what I am, in my soul.” He replied. 

“Shut up.” Daichi could only muster. Now they were standing side by side overlooking the city again, and Suga was watching the stars with a slight frown, as if he was mad at them. There was indeed something off in his demeanor, a silent kind of struggle that wasn’t there the day before. Daichi wondered if normal people noticed those kinds of things or if he was just a freak, a freak that was so deeply in love with this guy that it was hard to contain sometimes. As much as he loved him, that didn’t stop either of them from feeling burnt out sometimes by their circumstances. 

“I had dinner with my parents, after you left.” Suga started, his tone revealing it hadn’t been a warming welcome home. “I get it, they’d been away for a while and they had questions. Questions that I couldn’t really answer, and it frustrated us all. It also made me think that we’re not gonna see each other as much anymore, once school is over.” 

“I know.” Daichi admitted. He knew that sometimes it was better to admit that things sucked than to try and find the words to change his partner’s mind. Suga occasionally needed him to agree and let him sulk so that he could start to figure things out, and if Suga wanted to sulk with him then Daichi was happy to be the shoulder he sighed defeatedly on. “I’m also super used to seeing you every day, so it’s gonna be hard for a while. Then we’ll come around, we always do.” 

“Guess you’re right.” Suga murmured, and Daichi noticed the faintest of smiles pulling at the corners of his lips. He nudged him playfully in an attempt to make the smile return fully this time. 

“Come on, you look better when you’re smiling.” He said, in the cheesiest way possible, and was absolutely delighted when he saw Suga’s eyes light up at the callback of their “first date”. 

“Oh my god, Daichi.” He laughed softly, hiding his face in his hands. 

“See? It worked.” Daichi responded, proud of himself. Now he knew that if he ever needed to cheer up his partner he could turn into an adoring love-intoxicated fool in order to ‘embarrass’ him with his cheesy one-liners. He hoped it kept working so well in the future. 

Suga turned to look at him, eyes so clear and adoring that Daichi felt breathless in an instant. The weird pressure on his chest was hard to describe, he swallowed nervously and could only think of reaching out to take Suga’s hand and rub his knuckles with his thumb. He felt a lump in the back of his throat, the words wanting to get out, but he was _still_ held back by his own shyness and something else he couldn’t pinpoint. 

_I love you_, he wanted to say, _I’ve loved you ever since I met you but hadn’t realized until now. I love you like I have never loved anyone, and I want to tell you but… I almost feel like you already know, don’t you? You were always so perceptive, Koushi, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had it written all over my face for you. Then again, I don’t think I’d survive if you say you love me while looking at me with those eyes, have some mercy upon me, but I would gladly die here where I stand if that meant you-_

“I love you, Daichi.” And just like that, his entire world collapsed at the same time as it became utterly beautiful. He was almost sure he had stopped breathing, staring back like an idiot instead of saying anything. Despite that, Suga said it with such a soft voice, like he was stating an absolute truth, a fact that couldn’t be changed or corrupted, not by time, not by distance, not by any bullshit the world came up with. It almost hurt, to be loved this fiercely, but it was something he wouldn’t trade for anything. 

“I love you too.” Daichi finally managed to say, hoping that Suga could see in his eyes all the other words that escaped him in that moment. It mattered little, because the guy that had stolen every inch of his heart smiled sheepishly and leaned in to kiss him like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

Daichi kissed him back softly, with no rush, but at the same time squeezing him against him and holding him firmly. Suga made a pleased sound from the back of his throat that sent Daichi’s head spiraling. For a little while he could absolutely forget about everything, and just get blissfully lost in the feeling of Suga’s lips against his. 

When they separated Suga was breathing heavily against him, his cheeks reddened and not exactly because of the cold. They laughed lively and then settled with just being together in comfortable silence. Their troubles could wait just a little while. Daichi had to physically restrain himself from muttering I love you’s every five seconds. It just felt so nice to say, so reassuring, so calming in the fact that those three words could encompass everything he felt for Suga and had struggled to describe for so long. Daichi didn’t know what he had done to deserve something like this, but he was grateful for every single thing, comforting or painful, that had led him to this moment. 

He held Suga’s hand firmly, and just for a night, he had absolutely nothing to be afraid of. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm not dead :'D  
Im sorry for the huge delay on this chapter, as we all know things have been Not So Great, and I had a really hard time getting my shit together  
but Im back and hoping this can distract us all while we're trapped :)  
I'll do my best so that the next chapter is on time  
thank you again for all your kudos and nice comments, and please be safe and take care of yourselves! lots of love from confinement <3


	31. Happier

They went back to volleyball practice, eventually. Hinata and Kageyama were delighted, to say the least. It seemed like the break in their routine had been for the best, everybody came back on court refreshed and ready to get out there and win again. The next and last tournament of the year was still a few weeks away, but both Hinata and Kageyama were training as if they were going to the Olympics in less than a few days. There is something different about how they practice together, like they’ve suddenly gotten better at silent communicating and seem to be more in synch than ever. It was hard to imagine the two boys hated each other at the start of their friendship. 

Even if they had both denied being ‘together’ at the sleepover, if one payed close attention they were definitely closer, not so shy about casual contact and Hinata leaning on Kageyama when he was tired had become a common sight. Kageyama’s teasing comments were now accompanied by playfully messing with Hinata’s hair, which somehow softened the effect of his words. Kageyama had never been very expressive in the first place, he came off as cold and calculating, but when he was with Hinata he seemed to be… at ease, and even if his expressions were the same, something about his demeanor revealed that he was happier. 

He was also getting better at an almost alarming rate, both individually and as a team leader. He was actually making the effort to listen to them, and was more aware of what was happening as a team rather than as just the setter. He also had to keep up with school, and it wasn’t strange to see him walking towards Hinata’s house carrying his textbooks. Having Hinata there as he forced his brain to focus on something that wasn’t volleyball wasn’t exactly helpful (if anything, they were both in the same level of cluelessness), but his presence made things more bearable. They did have to call Tsukishima to balance out their incompetence more often than not, but it wasn’t entire terrible if Yamaguchi was also joining them. 

It was a Saturday morning and Kageyama was tying his shoes at the door ready to go out, when he heard his older sister shuffle in the hallway. He instantly hurried up, not wanting to be caught in whatever she could possibly want to tease him about. Things had been simple lately, and he didn’t want to start thinking about them too much to get overwhelmed. 

“Going out again? you’ve barely been home this past week.” She said, and even though Kageyama didn’t look up at her he could feel her accusing stare in his neck. 

“… I always jog Saturday mornings.” He murmured as an answer, something that was fundamentally true. It was foolish of him to even think that would get him out of the conversation. 

“Yeah, but you used to come home right after.” She sang, clearly messing with him. Kageyama considered whether it was too rude to leave in that moment and close the door on her face. “Couldn’t it be that you’re _seeing_ someone?” 

At that, every alarm in his body went off and he felt the sudden urge to run. He wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea of his family knowing about Hinata, simply because he knew they would get insufferable with their questions, even more so considering it was the first time he had something similar with someone. He wasn’t ashamed of his relationship with Hinata, whatever it was, but he did really just want to keep it to himself in an act of jealousy. Only Hinata should see him flustered or in a state that wasn’t very Kageyama-like. 

“No.” he says firmly, trying to let his sister now that he wasn’t up for discussion. He only got a scoff that terribly reminded him of his own habit of doing the same; and knew that wasn’t the end of it. 

“You’re lying~” she teased, and before Kageyama could incriminate himself any further he decided it was best to escape. 

“I’m leaving, goodbye!” he called and all but ran away from his home, a weird feeling setting on his chest. 

He let his muscle memory guide him to the starting point of their morning jog, while his mind drifted in various directions. Kageyama had been indulgent with himself, he had ignored the concerns and questions his brain threw into his mind in favor of just trying to be happier. And he _was_ happier, somehow the turmoil in his heart had calmed down and was letting him breathe properly whenever Hinata was around. He told himself that, for once, he could enjoy something without overanalyzing it. Which was exactly what he was doing right now. 

Kageyama shook his head and before he knew it the guy that hadn’t left his head in months was standing in front of him, with that smile on his face. All of his complicated thoughts left his head and for a moment it was only him, only sunshine and oranges. He got away with being silent while they ran alongside each other, because even if it was a Saturday morning, they usually yapped about something silly. Hinata just assumed he didn’t really want to talk that day, and was content with just being with him in their usual trail. It was probably better for their lungs not to talk while running. 

But even when they stopped and were regaining their strength, Kageyama was somehow more somber than usual. He wasn’t looking at him and seemed to be lost in thought, a slight frown pulling at his eyebrows and making him look troubled. Hinata decided to try and course him into opening up, which could be a rather difficult task if Kageyama insisted in ignoring it, like he had been doing for a while lately. 

“You seem a little too thoughtful for your own good.” He started, and only got a grunt in response. “Something going on?” 

Kageyama sighed, letting himself drop on the grass. Now this park had become their little place for conversation, when all the adrenaline from the run started to wear off and they were left all light-headed. He considered telling Hinata about how he felt, in a better, more articulate way than just “you fuck with my head and I don’t know why”. He did know why, it was just difficult for him to say out loud. Kageyama had found other ways to tell Hinata what he meant to him, but a part of himself was constantly telling him that Hinata deserved to at least have things clear upfront, so he didn’t have a shadow of a doubt. So he sighed once again and just let it out

“Are we together?” he asked, looking at the sky and being blinded by the sun. he could feel Hinata sitting by his side, but didn’t have the courage to look his way. The silence hung heavy between them and Kageyama swallowed nervously. He was about to start apologizing for making such a stupid question and dismissing it when Hinata hummed to himself and said: 

“Do you want to be?” 

Kageyama stayed frozen at the statement, feeling his heartbeat in his throat. How was he supposed to answer? He couldn’t possibly say yes cool and then that was it, there had to be something else about it that he didn’t quite understand. Even if Hinata wasn’t the type of person to bother with subtilities and hidden meanings, how could Kageyama even be sure they were on the same page? 

By communicating, that’s how. 

“Is that your shitty way of asking me out?” he asked, and couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips. He saw Hinata gasp indignantly but blush either way. 

“I never said I was asking you out I’m just asking a question!” he rambled, but his voice was an octave higher than it usually was. Kageyama chuckled and Hinata stuck his tongue out at him. The setter had to admit that making his partner flustered to the point of snapping back at him was really amusing. He scoffed, and it was almost a laugh. Hinata fell silent, picking at the grass nervously. Kageyama didn’t want things to turn awkward, so he tried to lift his mood in one of the only ways he knew how. 

“It looks like we’re going out already either way.” He said, nonchalant. “considering how much time I spent with your sorry ass.” 

“Oh excuse me, am I holding you hostage?” Hinata teased right back, and Kageyama was glad to see the doubt flee from his expression. “Are you suffering? You gonna cry?” 

At that, Kageyama pushed him and watched Hinata dramatically throw himself onto the ground and roll away from him. He felt a nice warmth bubbling in his chest, and came to the conclusion that he wanted the dumb sunshine child that was Hinata to stay by his side, to keep pointlessly hanging out with the goal of studying but hauling up in his room to do nothing instead; to maybe even squeeze the life out of him because what other way could he express his feelings, when the words “you’re cute” seemed to not cut it anymore. If all of that meant they were “together”, then the next time someone in the team teasingly asks then he’s just going to say yes. 

“Hey.” Hinata nudges him, still lying on the floor. Kageyama playfully takes a handful of his hair and messes it up, as he is now well accustomed to do. Hinata scrunches his nose and wiggles slightly, not really trying to escape his grip but pretending he is. “Wanna go get ice cream?” 

Kageyama rolled his eyes. It was so like him to ask if they could get sweets right after they’re done exercising. He was going to say no, Kageyama swears he had the conviction to deny that request in favor of their health, but then he glanced down at Hinata and he was looking up with those big brown eyes and all of his resolve melted away. 

“Yeah.” He whispered, standing up and pulling Hinata up with him effortlessly. He expected his partner to let go of his hand once he was on his feet, but the touch lingered and Kageyama didn’t fight it. He had to admit it was a little strange, having Hinata’s tiny hand in his palm, but he could get used to it. “I’d love that.” 

.

“You know, I think that if we went to nationals we would get the other set of uniforms.” Hinata commented, watching Kageyama’s reaction carefully. The guy had been lost in thought more so than usual and even if Hinata wanted to get the information out of him, what really bothered him was the worried look of his eyes when he drifted too far from reality. 

“Yeah… you’re probably right…” he mulled, cocking his head to the side. Hinata’s objective was to distract him for whatever was bothering him and talking about their future in the volleyball team seemed to be doing the trick. 

“Like, it would be all orange with black accents? Like Noya’s! and his would be black like ours!” he continued, eating a charged spoonful of his ice cream that had enough syrup to make the calories he had burned earlier come right back. Kageyama chuckled and he smiled in that lopsided way that made Hinata’s heart clench painfully. 

“You would look more like an orange than you already do.” He teased, and even Hinata had to suppress a laugh. 

“Jokes on you, I was a pumpkin for Halloween once.” He said, and Kageyama just straight up choked and snorted, going into a coughing fit mixed with hoarse laughter that had Hinata giggling along as well. “And you will never see a picture while I am alive to prevent it.” 

“I’ll steal it.” Kageyama said too casually for that statement. 

“I’ll kill you.” Hinata responded, giving him a look. 

“Can you even reach my neck?” he snarled, clearly amused and feeling superior. 

Hinata kicked him under the table but he barely flinched, and much to his surprise he hooked their ankles together and didn’t make any move to let him go. Hinata started to wonder if this could be considered a date, but then discarded the thought because it didn’t really matter; he was spending time with Kageyama and that was enough. 

They normally parted ways at the station, but for some reason Kageyama didn’t say anything and ended up walking all the way to Hinata’s house. The spiker wondered if it had been on purpose. 

“Tanaka agreed to lend us the keys to the gym so remember we have practice tomorrow morning.” He said, even though Hinata already knew that. Somehow, he knew that he was just filling the silence, so he didn’t say anything about it, just hummed and nodded. When he ran out of things to say Kageyama buried his hand in his hair, like he had gotten used to, but before Hinata could protest that his hair must be all crusty from being sweaty, Kageyama tugged him softly towards him and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. 

Hinata gapped but in the blink of an eye Kageyama had disappeared, leaving him dumbfounded in front of his door. He had never done something like that, and he seemed to shy away from anything that was too obviously affectionate. Hinata shook his head and entered his home, an idiotic smile on his lips. Kageyama wasn’t conventional in any sense of the word, and it was nice to see him being more comfortable around him than with anyone else, it made him feel oddly special. 

.

When Kageyama finally returned home, he expected to be able to go to his room and wallow in self-pity at his lame attempts at romance. He didn’t know exactly what took over him, and he couldn’t deny it felt _right_ to put his lips against Hinata’s cheek, but did he have to be a weirdo and bolt right after without even saying goodbye? 

What did Hinata think? He hadn’t stuck around to see his reaction, would things be weird the next day? God, what was he thinking?! 

“Hey edge lord.” His sister called, snapping him out of his thoughts. “There’s a letter for you.” 

Kageyama frowned, still a little dizzy from all the panicked thinking. He picked up the envelope and looked it over, making his way to his room to escape any further teasing. He rarely got any mail, the last important thing had been his acceptance into Karasuno (and well, the rejection from Shiratorizawa but he tried not to think about that one too hard). It didn’t feel exactly heavy, but there was a seal he recognized. After doing a double take, he knew exactly what was inside. 

.

When Hinata arrived at the gates of the gym, he was unconsciously skipping. He felt even bouncier than usual, the fresh air felt better in his lungs and he was eager to do some good spikes. It was hard to think that he had once been so troubled to the point of losing the motivation to play volley. But there was no use dwelling on past times when the day promised to be so great. What did tingle in his gut was the fact that he had been thinking about pushing his luck with Kageyama, maybe if he got him in a good mood he could steal a kiss on the cheek without much repercussion. 

Hinata was just saying hello when he froze on his tracks and stared at his partner. He was smiling. Not in the genuine, half-smirk kind of way that only came out when he was truly amused, but the creepy broad smile that he did when people told him to be more cheerful. Hinata instantly knew something was off. 

“Stop.” He said simply, dropping his bag on the floor. “That thing that you’re doing with your face, stop it.” The fake smile was replaced by an eyeroll and his common expression of annoyance. _Much better. _

“Whatever.” He blew it off, and Hinata pretended not to see his shame. “Also, is that a good luck charm on your bag? What are you, seven?” 

“Hey!” Hinata exclaimed, clutching the little omamori in his hands. Either way he was glad Kageyama was back to normal from whatever the hell that was. “I got it for our next tournament.” 

Kageyama scoffed under his breath and urged him to join him so they could start stretching. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when they started to warm up like this together, but now it was part of their routine and so engraved in their brains they would start going through the motions without even thinking about it. Even after all this time, Kageyama was still blown away by just how flexible Hinata was. The guy was so bendy it was almost freaky, and there had been plenty of times that he had scolded him with a ‘come on, I’m not going to break’ when he was hesitant to really push him. 

“You do know we’re going to new more than luck to win, right?” he said, making casual conversation as he leaned his entire weight on Hinata’s back to push him forward into literally pressing his chest onto the floor while doing the splits. 

“That’s why I’m here as well, Bakayama.” He responded, not all sounding strained. “But it doesn’t hurt to have some luck out there.” 

“Oh like you almost got us expelled for some lucky popsicles?” Kageyama grumbled, now being the subject of the stretching and having less of a fun time, even if Hinata was relatively light. 

“First of all!” he exclaimed. “Did we or did we not win against Date Tech? Hmm? You have no prove they didn’t work. Second of all, _expelled! _ God you’re dramatic. I was helping you form memories.” 

“Memories of you being a dumbass maybe.” He replied, making Hinata press slightly more than he was comfortable with as an act of revenge. He wasn’t going to admit that in retrospect, that time they snuck out in the middle of the night on a school that wasn’t theirs to steal popsicles was indeed a fond memory, but only because he wasn’t under Daichi’s rageful stare so he could laugh about it. 

The practice went smoothly enough, the comfortable and familiar atmosphere of the gym helped calm his nerves and lose contact with everything that was worrying him when he left his house. Hinata had insisted they practice receiving with Kageyama’s jump serve, and he had complied without much of a struggle. The times he served the ball in his exact direction so he wouldn’t have to dive for it, Hinata would get mad and demand he played it seriously. Kageyama then learned not to go easy on Hinata on just about anything because he took it as a personal offense. 

They stopped at around lunch time, panting and covered in sweat, but decided to stick around and cool down. Their conversation was lighthearted until Hinata mentioned next week’s practice match, how great it was going to be seeing their pals at Nekoma again. Kageyama tried to hide the twist in his stomach and pretended he was listening closely like he would normally, but Hinata caught up on it rather quickly. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Hinata accused him, but he wasn’t really angry. Kageyama thought he had a really good poker face most of the time, but his ability to hide his emotions and intentions became obsolete when it came to Hinata, the guy was just too good at reading him. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing.” He tried to dismiss it, and immediately regretted it when he saw the unspoken feeling in Hinata’s eyes. Again, he wasn’t angry, almost like he was a bit saddened. 

“Come on, don’t lie to me.” Hinata said softly, and Kageyama instantly knew that what hurt his partner was that it looked like he wasn’t trusting him. “If you don’t want to talk about it then at least say so like-”

“I’m not gonna be here for the Nekoma match.” He spat out, kicking his feet slightly and feeling a heavy weight on his chest. 

“What?” he whispered, his voice full of confusion and a hint of fear. “What are you talking about? Why?” 

“I got a letter yesterday.” He says, probably sounding way more dramatic than he should. “I got invited to a training camp, so I won’t be here next week. It’s um… It’s from, Japan’s junior league.” 

He watches his reaction carefully. As soon as he had opened that letter Kageyama had been thrown into a turmoil of emotions. He wasn’t expressive, he wasn’t the kind to run around and jump on his bed at the sight of good news. He did however experience a certain sort of joy that left him breathless and staring at the paper for a good 5 minutes. Of course he was ecstatic, Kageyama had never considered anything besides volleyball for his future and this was a golden opportunity. Then on his way to practice he thought about how Hinata could probably feel, knowing they had the same kind of dream. If he was still self-centered and obsessed with his own development then it wouldn’t really matter, but he knew Hinata had busted his ass training everyday and was fighting constantly to prove people wrong. But it also felt stupid to feel guilty because he deserved it, right? 

The mess had gotten so overwhelming that Kageyama decided to push everything down and figure it out later. ‘Later’ had come a lot sooner than he expected it. 

“You idiot!” Hinata exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across his face. “You scared me! You made me think something terrible had happened! Congrats!” 

“You- you mean that?” Kageyama asked, not really sure it was the reaction he was expecting. 

“Of course I do!” Hinata replied, smacking him playfully. “You’re one of the best players out there Kageyama, of course they picked you for this. Training with the best in the country, I’m sure you’re gonna blow them away. God I’m so jealous!, that’s gonna be amazing!” 

It was truly puzzling how Hinata could say he was jealous with such genuine happiness on his face. Now it was clear, Kageyama’s need to protect Hinata like he was made of glass only prevented him from seeing that it was good news for him too because he cared, because he supported him, _ because he wasn’t self-centered_. Kageyama shook his head and smirked when Hinata threw an arm around his shoulders and pressed him against his body, babbling on about how he had to tell him absolutely everything about that training camp. Kageyama realized that even if he wanted to protect Hinata, he should know that the guy didn’t break easily, and it was foolish to assume something like this would damage their relationship. 

As they walked back home with Hinata saying something about how they could perfectly manage without him in a match with Nekoma, Kageyama slid his hand into his more confidently and Hinata took it without a second thought, swinging their arms slightly. Not Kageyama had another reason for his heart to throb pleasantly, and he knew this one wasn’t going away any time soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!!  
here's the new chapter :)  
I hope everyone is staying safe, and thank you all for all your kind comments, they always make my day in this gloomy times :')  
love you all and have a great week!


	32. Heart doing pirouettes

Kageyama had been uncharacteristically fidgety all week. He had to tell the team about his practice camp, and it went surprisingly well. He didn’t know why he expected way more teasing, but everyone was quite supportive and congratulated him in a way he didn’t know how to handle. Hinata watched the interaction with his arms crossed and shaking his head, wondering if Kageyama was going to be okay with all those other players he didn’t know. Kageyama himself was trying not to think too much about his awful social skills, which was only one of the many thoughts plaguing his mind. 

He had been talking to Hinata more and more for the past few days, his nerves getting the best of him even with the date being still quite far along. Hinata was pleased to know that Kageyama trusted him enough to let out his worries vocally to him, and was quite touched that he was making the effort to put his feelings into words. They had been communicating in a better way and Hinata could not be happier about all the attention he was getting. It was also very rewarding in the weirdest way that he was the only one that had a glimpse of what Kageyama was like when he wasn’t putting up his usual front. 

The days went by in a blur, and in the blink of an eye Kageyama was standing in front of his bags with no recollection of having packed them. He sighed, feeling his hands go all tingly and wishing whatever he had packed while in that ominous state would be enough. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and it snapped him back to reality, knowing it was Hinata asking where he was. They had agreed to meet at the station since Kageyama was too shaken to go on his own and Hinata was absolutely not missing out on “the last time he was gonna see him.” It really made it sound like he was going off into a dangerous voyage and that the chances of him returning were slim to none. He was just going away for a week, and sure he was nervous, but didn’t think he was going to die. 

His parents drove him to the train station, and after asking a million questions and giving him another million recommendations, they let him go with a kiss on the forehead. Kageyama clutched his bag and walked around looking for an orange head, and he found what he was looking for near his stop. If Kageyama looked nervous, Hinata looked like he had had too much caffeine and zero sleep. He waved awkwardly when their eyes met, and as soon as he was close enough Kageyama pulled him into a half hug and moved them both away from the stop. 

“What- what are you doing?” Hinata asked, instead of saying hello. He didn’t put much resistance and let himself be carried wherever Kageyama was planning to go. The taller boy rubbed his arm thoughtfully. 

“You look like you’re about to have a meltdown.” He teased, and even thought he knew it was an exaggeration Hinata still looked away in shame. “We’ve got time, I’m getting you ice cream or whatever.” 

At that, Hinata couldn’t help but smile. It had become their “thing” to eat ice cream at any given opportunity, thanks to Hinata’s love for it and how he had convinced Kageyama by saying “well there’s milk in it, you like milk right? It’s good for your bones”. He would’ve protested when Kageyama bought both of the certainly overpriced cones, but he honestly didn’t have the energy to do so. Upon closer look, Kageyama seemed to be hiding something himself, so he thought that probably it was best to let him pamper him a bit. 

Kageyama believed the sugary treat would get Hinata to reset to his usual self, but he found out that even with the ice cream, there was still an unspoken feeling behind his eyes that made Kageyama’s gut twist. He felt like he should say something, maybe ask what was truly wrong with him, but he was having a hard time wrapping his head around the situation with his own doubts as well. Even after the ice cream was gone, Hinata was still silent. They made their way back to the train stop and the atmosphere felt heavy around them, knowing they would soon have to say goodbye. 

“Stop it.” Kageyama nudged him, but he only half-smiled. “It’s not that big of a deal.” 

“I’m gonna miss you, jerk.” He mumbled, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. Kageyama felt his throat close up in a tight knot and his chest flutter. He had been telling himself it was just a week, that it wasn’t the end of the world, but he had grown so accustomed to having Hinata around everyday that now saying goodbye even for a little while was proving to be slightly harder than he expected. 

“… I’m gonna miss you too, dumbass.” He answered, hiding his eyes behind his fringe. “But it’s not like I’m going away forever.” 

It was almost as if he was trying to convince them both, wanting dearly to believe his own words for the sake of his inner peace. Feeling like he needed Hinata so much was a rather scary thought, knowing he could disappear from his life as easily as he had come into it was terrifying. It was ironic how much he worried about caring for Hinata, about what it could do to him. 

“Stop being dramatic, come on.” Kageyama said when Hinata stayed silent, as if he wasn’t being dramatic himself with all his complicated thoughts. Hinata seemed ticked off. 

“Well _sorry_ for thinking you’re gonna go to a training camp with all these amazing players and…” he started babbling, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at the floor “and I bet there’d be insanely good spikers too…” 

“Oh _come on._” Kageyama scoffed, trying to catch his eye. Hinata all but turned away from him in an attempt to avoid his gaze. Kageyama ended up grabbing his chin softly. “Hey, look at me. Look at me.” 

Hinata slapped his hand away and stared him down. He felt an uncomfortable pressure on his chest that had been there since the day before, because apparently he couldn’t focus on his own match when Kageyama was going away. Of course he was happy, Kageyama deserved it, it just seemed like this stupid training camp was going to put a huge gap between them. Maybe he was gong to finally realize that he could easily get into higher leagues right then and there; and stop playing around with Karasuno, stop playing around with him. 

“Really? You think I’m gonna replace you with some high-class spiker?” Kageyama asked, letting his hand drop to his side heavily. “That’s ridiculous, you’re being ridiculous!” 

“Then just _go!_” Hinata exclaimed, shaking his head and giving up. “I don’t-”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Kageyama placed his hands on Hinata’s cheeks and smashed their lips together. He made a surprised sound from the back of his throat and clutched to Kageyama’s wrist, his heart racing when he felt him press slowly and hesitantly. They separated just as harshly as they had come together, Hinata could only blink while Kageyama was staring into his eyes. Those deep blue eyes that made the whole world come to a halt, that could make Hinata’s derailed thoughts stop on its tracks, that glanced shily at his lips before focusing back on his own. 

“I am not going to replace you.” He said solemnly, suddenly out of breath. He seemed to realize what he had done and let his hands drop slowly, taking half a step back. There was a flash of deep-rooted embarrassment in his eyes, but it was too quick for anyone to notice. 

“Wait- no!” Hinata stuttered, flushing violently out of the blue. “You can’t- you can’t just DO THAT!” 

“Do what?” Kageyama replied, failing to contain a cheesy half-smirk. He shoved his hands in his pockets like he was some cool guy while Hinata was fuming

“You jerk!” he called, shoving him but being too shaky to actually move him in any way. “That- no! That doesn’t count!” 

“What are you talking about?” he teased, feeling way too pleased with himself by making Hinata all flustered to the point where he couldn’t form any words. 

“You can’t just kiss me like that!” Hinata told him, and for a moment he felt the rising panic in his throat. 

Kageyama stayed silent this time, lowering his head. Did he mean that? Was he actually mad? Had he made a horrible, horrible mistake thinking it was somehow the right move? Had he ruined it just as he was about to leave?! 

“I mean…” Hinata continued, noticing he suddenly tensed up and wanting to clarify in the least awkward way. “You _can_, kiss me, just not- like, I didn’t mean… fuck, your train, take your train.” 

Being submerged in their own little bubble, Kageyama had failed to notice the fuzz around them of the passengers hastily boarding the train and the last announcement saying it would soon be leaving. Kageyama almost wanted to laugh at the ridiculous situation he had gotten them into. 

“Yeah, I should take my train.” He pondered out loud, feeling light-headed. Put on the spot, Hinata did the first thing that came to mind which was throwing his whole self around Kageyama in a bone-crushing hug and not letting go. Kageyama squeezed him just as hard and buried his face in the crook of his neck, chuckling at how Hinata was standing on his tiptoes to reach him. 

“Text me when you get there.” He murmured, his voice tight with emotion. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s heartbeat hammering through his chest, and he rubbed his back soothingly. 

“I’ll text you every day.” He answered, finally letting go although he didn’t want to. Kageyama would be the first to take Hinata into his arms and carry him all the way to training camp with him. He had to see his partner deflate and have a sad look on his beautiful eyes for a whole lot of 3 seconds, before unrolling into the flustered annoyance he had seen before that made him crack up. 

“And that was _not_ our first kiss!” Hinata called as Kageyama was walking away, not caring about anyone listening. Kageyama scoffed and waved at him, disappearing inside the train not before giving him a rare, honest smile. 

“Oh but it totally was.” Kageyama murmured to himself once he was settled in his seat, feeling his heart doing pirouettes and for once, not minding it at all. 

.

The day had been awfully silent. Noya had tried to entertain himself but to no avail. He had tried to watch something but couldn’t remain focused for more than 10 minutes, he had tried to listen to some music but he kept zoning out, he had tried scrolling endlessly in the same 3 apps on his phone but he soon got sick of it. He ended up walking in circles around his room like a caged animal, feeling his head grow heavy with each step. He didn’t know why he felt so restless and it was driving him crazy. 

After a few minutes of mindless pacing, he picked up his phone he had tossed angrily in the bed and stared at the screen for a good hard second. The wallpaper was a photo of the team, the one Daichi had insisted to have re-taken since Noya and Asahi had finally returned. They all looked quite happy. For some reason, staring at his teammates made his stomach turn. He unlocked the phone and was greeted by a different picture, one that was taken many years ago. It was a picture of his grandpa, smiling widely with a kid Noya perched on his shoulders. He chuckled. He really couldn’t do that anymore. 

His heart clenched painfully and that prompted him to open the chat he had wanted to go to in the first place. Noya stared at the texts from a previous conversation without really reading them and wondered if he was doing the right thing. He licked his lips nervously and started typing a simple message. 

_Thunder_Noya4: Can I ask you something really selfish?_

He taped his chin with the phone as we waited. He couldn’t exactly take it back now, he was in it and he had to follow through. Noya was also sure that he would not just let him brush it off. God, what is he doing? He feels pathetic. A sudden ding startled him and almost made him drop his phone. Typical of Noya to send a message and then be surprised when he gets an answer. 

_AsahiBear: sure_

Noya smiled and chuckled. That goddamn name, he _still_ had it? Noya was sure Asahi knew how to change it, and yet he didn’t. He mostly used his hacking skills to mess with his friends but no, this time he had to use it to flirt with his crush in the weirdest way. Sometimes it felt like an actual miracle Asahi liked his dumb ass. The small minute of peace was replaced with the reason he made the question in the first place. 

_Thunder_Noya4: I need you_

As if that wasn’t vague as all hell, but he couldn’t bring himself to type “come over”. Noya wondered what he was doing once again, a part of him knew he was being ridiculous, and another didn’t know what else to do about it. He was also worried at the same time, surely Asahi had better things to do than deal with his bullshit. He found it wasn’t entirely fair, and yet…

_AsahiBear: give me 15. Im on my way_

.

Asahi defined his current activity as “taking a break” because it sounded way better than simply “wasting time”, even if the latter was more accurate. He often found himself doing something brain-rotting and guiltily enjoying it, all while a voice in the back of his mind screamed bloody murder that he could be doing something productive with his time. 

Usually when he got a text from Noya his heart would skip a beat as if he was an actual schoolgirl from a shojo series. This one however, made him sit up from his bed so quickly he saw white spots dancing in his vision. He wished he knew what to do, but Noya had never texted him something like this so out of the blue. It was quite like him to text him random thoughts with zero context, sometimes in the middle of the night, but never a question that made Asahi’s blood pressure skyrocket. 

The couple seconds that took him to get another response seemed eternal. Then when his brain processed that “I need you”, everything disappeared and suddenly he only had one goal: get to Noya as fast as possible. Even with the impromptu shot of adrenaline that coursed through him, he still had enough sense to not hurl himself out the window like he was. With a quick glance to the mirror Asahi discovered he was unpresentable. His hair was a mess that resembled a bird’s nest from being in his bed so long, he was in a loose shirt that was too old but he refused to throw away, and he basically looked like he hadn’t seen the light of day in eleven years. He didn’t want to keep Noya waiting by being preoccupied with his appearance, but there was absolutely no way he was going to the Nishinoya house like this. 

And so he sprang into action. He tied up his hair sloppily (which would probably make it a bitch to untangle later, nice one there Asahi) and took the fastest shower he had ever taken in his life. He dried himself hastily as he picked up the first semi-decent outfit from his closet and threw it on. He let his hair down and started to brush it as quickly as he could without tearing it from his scalp. Finally, he stood in the hallway and patted his pockets: phone, wallet, keys. Okay 

Not even when he was running late for school had he gotten ready in such a small amount of time. Asahi then took his bike that was already too small for him and made his way to Noya’s house. He felt he got there in record time, throwing the bike in the curb and knocking maybe too eagerly. He was still breathing heavily and running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it. 

Noya opened the door to a panting Asahi leaning down with his hands on his knees and instantly felt his day get better. 

“Did I make it?” Asahi asked between breaths, finally regaining his composure. Noya hadn’t even checked the time, it didn’t really matter. He shook his head and waved it off as he opened the door to let him in. His grandpa was away in one of his clubs, so the house was even more silent without his hoarse humming. 

“What were you doing, by the way?” Noya asked as he gave Asahi a well-deserved glass of water. He was sitting on the couch with his long legs tugged under himself, and looking really cute with his flushed face and loose hair. 

“Nothing, really.” He answered, placing the now empty glass on the table and turning to him with kind eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“You can tell?” Noya asked softly, taking a strand of Asahi’s hair and playing with it to have something to do with his hands. There was a bittersweet smile playing on his lips when Asahi reached out shyly to take his free hand and give him a reassuring squeeze. 

“Something’s bothering you.” Asahi said simply, letting Noya take his time to mull his words and form a coherent sentence. 

“Yeah, I don’t know.” He sighed, looking at their intertwined fingers. “I just… I need an out.” 

Asahi hummed, as if he understood whatever nonsense Noya was spouting; but when Noya had the courage to look up, his soft loving gaze made him believe he actually did get it. 

“Okay, um, I got an idea.” Asahi said, and then lowered his voice as if someone was going to hear them. “It’s probably really stupid.” 

Noya smiled, genuinely and openly and Asahi’s heart clenched in his chest. That mischievous smile of his was everything to him, he wanted to see that smile every waking day, it was radiant and so _Noya_ that it took his breath away. He was really in love with this guy. 

“I love those kinds of ideas.” 

.

“This is the best idea you’ve ever had.” 

Asahi was glad the troubled look had disappeared, replaced by smug amusement at seeing him battle to get his hair under control and out of the mercy of the wind. He would be the first one to admit that getting on a train on a whim and with nothing more than what was in their pockets was a crazy idea, and something he would have never done on his own. But this was Noya, and he had grown to know what it meant when he said he “needed an out”. He was almost like a shark, if he stopped moving he began to drown. Asahi knew he needed a change of pace, something different than just his room he had been for too long. Sometimes, in fashion with his much darker thoughts, Asahi wondered if that need for change would eventually make Noya leave him behind. 

“Thanks for downplaying every other idea I’ve ever had.” He joked, throwing his arm around Noya’s shoulders. He was here right now, and that’s what mattered. It was useless to weight himself with such ideas. 

“Asahi?? Teasing me??” Noya said, his fingers latching swiftly with his. “Unheard of!” 

“I too can be rebellious you know.” He played along, and even cocked an eyebrow in an attempt to look smug that made Noya laugh. 

“Yeah?” he breathed out, and bit his lip. “I’d like you to show me.” 

Noya dissolved into laughter as he watched Asahi blush all the way down to his neck and choke at the comment. He wanted to say that he liked him either way, being his soft teddy bear demeanor or the boy that technically took him from his house and got them somewhere far away with no plan. Despite all that, Noya felt this was exactly what he needed without even knowing it. Asahi had refused to tell him where they were going until he saw the sea looming through the window. Now they were standing on the beach, shoes discarded along with their coats and feeling the soft sand on their feet. The sea was calm, lazily lapping at the shore and whistling with the waves. 

“You’re too good, Asahi.” He said, looking up at him and catching a straw of his hair that had escaped the bun. He simply chuckled and pressed him tighter against him. 

“You just said you needed me, and here I am.” Asahi pointed out simply. “The ocean calms me down, so I thought it might work for you as well.” 

Noya wasn’t sure if it was the ocean, or the fact that he was here with Asahi, or a bit of both. The truth was that he no longer felt that awful sinking feeling that had been plaguing him earlier. Maybe what he needed was a different type of silence, the type that Asahi’s comforting presence brought as they walked together. After a while they sat down, Noya still leaning on him with an arm wrapped around Asahi’s. He breathed the sea air and held it in his lungs, feeling it tingle slightly. 

“Maybe we should try talking.” Noya suggested, carefully measuring his words. There were so many things he wanted to say, and he had come to accept that keeping it all in was harmful as all hell. “I feel like… it’d help.” 

“Of course.” Asahi said, placing a soft kiss on his head. This fleeting moments of Noya turning somber and thoughtful were scarce, but Asahi knew they were important. This was a part of Noya just as much as the quirky energetic side, he could be all smiles and jokes like he could be deep intense stares and a grounding presence. This was something he was sharing with him, so he would treasure it closely. 

Asahi sat there by Noya’s side, holding him with the endless sea in front of them, and he listened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!!   
heres the new chapter :)  
I hope you're all stayed safe out there, and your kudos and comments always brightened by day <3   
have a great week!


	33. A realistic fantasy

Even bundled up with Asahi’s jacket thrown over his shoulders as the sea breeze messed with his hair, Noya felt weirdly content. A nagging thought in the back of his head was telling him that he was wasting his youth being worried by so many things, feeling senselessly sad and overwhelmed with the world around him. Sure, he had sparks of good moments, of times he felt there was nothing wrong, but after a while those instances seemed to be further and further apart; but then again what could he do about it? It was not like he could help his emotions being all out of whack, he knew it wasn’t his normal state of being but that wasn’t much of a consolation anymore. 

He hoped he was making sense as Asahi hadn’t said anything for a while. 

Noya didn’t have much of a filter, but it was rare that he was talking so much about something he wasn’t comfortable with. Asahi appreciated it and had been preparing for it during the train ride. There was something about the seaside that tended to have that effect on people, even if the beach was deserted and chilly, it only gave them an excuse to be close to each other. 

“I know how you feel, about wasting time.” Asahi started, rubbing his arm up and down to keep him warm. “I’ll graduate in a few months and I feel like I did nothing through high school.” 

“Oh so now the volleyball team is nothing?” Noya nudged him, half-joking. It reminded them of their ‘little’ fight at the beginning of the year and the game of chasing and ignoring each other. That seemed to have been so long ago. “But I get it. Is it hard, being a third year?” 

“Sometimes.” He answered truthfully, sighing. “Besides the schoolwork and every teacher asking what the hell are you gonna do with your life, suddenly every other student starts calling you senpai and being scared of you. It’s weird. It’s a bit tiring, between all that and naughty kohais that don’t listen to you.” 

“Your life is so difficult.” Noya pouted, and Asahi could only chuckle at his antics. They stayed silent for a little while, the crashing waves the only sound around them. Asahi didn’t exactly know how long they were gonna stay, but he was trying hard to disconnect his mind and just enjoy. He had a feeling that occasions like this would not come around so often in the near future, but that might just be his typical fatalistic thinking. His thoughts were cut short by Noya chiming in again. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” He answered, resting his head on top of Noya’s, and the guy let him even if it flattened his hair. 

“AsahiBear.” He said simply, and Asahi had to stifle a laugh that would’ve come out too shrieky. “Why’d you keep it?” 

“Well.” Asahi pondered. Out of all the things that Noya could’ve asked in such a quiet, somber moment between the two, he did not expect him to bring up his unchanged username. Noya was always full of surprises. “Because you gave it to me. I think it’s cute, like you.” 

“UUUGHH Asahiiii.” He whined overdramatically, trying to escape from his grip but not actually intending to. 

“Too cheesy?” He asked, tightening his hug around his partner, who he could imagine rolling his eyes. Asahi had found that teasing Noya was rather fun, even if some of the stuff he said would also embarrass him. 

“I don’t know you.” Noya responded, wiggling until he had his head in Asahi’s lap and was playing with one of his locks like a cat. After a few heartbeats of silence, Noya worried his lip and Asahi shot him a worried look, knowing there was something else he wanted to say. “Um, I kinda had a talk with my grandpa.” 

“What did you talk about?” he asked carefully, threading a gentle finger through his hair. Noya expected it to be difficult to speak about that heavy moment, but his throat was surprisingly clear. 

“He knows.” He whispered, closing his eyes because he was too scared to see Asahi’s reaction. Even if the situation had gotten out of his hands, one thing was that his grandpa knew about him, that he knew about Asahi by proxy was another thing entirely. He had never asked how he felt about it and he probably should have. 

“What did he say?” Asahi asked slowly. He sounded apprehensive, like he was bracing himself for bad news. 

“I didn’t even need to tell him.” He explained, trying to ease the atmosphere around them. it certainly wasn’t bad news. “He flat out asked me if I was happy with you. He said he could tell from how I looked at you.” 

“…I’m sorry?” Asahi tried, and it only made Noya laugh. 

“Don’t apologize.” He raised a hand to pinch Asahi’s cheek, and then let it fall harshly on the sand. “He understood me, completely, like he always has. I used to come up with the worst scenarios, think he would hate me. And the truth is I feel stupid for being so afraid to… talk to him about it.” 

“Noya…” Asahi whispered, burying a gentle hand on his hair. His voice could barely be heard over the wind, but Noya could still feel the warmth of it. He got up finally and stretched his arms way over his head, unaware of Asahi staring lovingly from his sitting position. He pulled on his hand and dragged him to his feet as well, guiding him towards the sea. It was still chilly and were they about to deep their feet in icy cold water? But with that damn smile, how could Asahi say no? 

For an evening they ignored everything that could probably trouble them, everything that had to do with the future, with the worries of being a third year in high school or being out of it entirely. For a moment there Asahi’s only concern was how where they going to get back home, and for some strange reason it was weirdly liberating. 

They were playing around in the water like children, getting the edge of their jeans wet, and it was all fun and games until Noya pushed me a little too hard and made him fall ass first into the sea. Shocked and freezing now, Asahi could only laugh and run after Noya who was already trying to escape. He eventually caught up to him and squeezed him into a tight hug, letting him go only to plant a firm kiss on his lips. Noya kissed back between giggles and thanked whatever higher force was out there for the fact that Asahi had had such a stupidly wonderful idea. 

.

Kageyama knew the next week wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t expect it to start so soon. He was absolutely restless, shifting uncomfortably in his seat and feeling the sound of the train engine grind in his teeth. He knew it was all because of his nervousness, he was painfully aware that he had been having a harder time keeping his head cool, and he suspected it was because he was, well, changing. Before the only thing that would occupy his thoughts was volleyball, how to be a better setter, how to win, how to succeed. It was simple, but it was also… lonely. 

Now he wants his teammates to trust him, to know he has their backs, he wants to be a part of the harmony that goes into playing as a team. That not only applied to volleyball, but to his life in general, to his relationships outside of the game. It was new, and fun and challenging, but it also made his mind heavier than he was used to. 

Back then Kageyama wouldn’t have been this ticked off about first impressions, about going on his own to a place where he didn’t know anybody, where people would be watching his every move. There was absolutely no room for mistakes, and the thought was driving him crazy. 

Then there was also the fact that he had kissed Hinata in an act of recklessness that had seemingly come out of nowhere. There had been a rush on his chest, a high he had never felt before, how the world seemed to stop on its tracks was both terrifying and mesmerizing. He rarely let go of the rains like that, and now it was fucking with his head. Great. 

He stared at the passing trees through the window, wondering what Hinata was thinking in that moment. How he had to return home on his own, how he would have to run this weekend alone. Kageyama sighed and decided to shut off some of the stimuli so that his brain didn’t whack him into a full-on breakdown while he was sitting on a train. He reached for his bag and dug his hand into one of the side pockets, feeling around for his headphones. He pulled on the cords to get them out and as soon as he did another little red thing fell out. 

Confused, he picked it up only to find Hinata’s good luck amulet sitting on his palm. He stared at the red omamori, tracing the lettering nicely embroidered into it and couldn’t help but shake his head at his partner’s antics. He must have sneaked it into his bag while they were having ice cream, because he was too weird to just give it to him upfront (Kageyama did tell him off as childish for having it, so maybe that’s why Hinata decided this was the way to do it). Still, he couldn’t deny the sudden flutter in his chest, and having the little thing in his hands did calm him down in a weird way. Hinata was such a dumbass, and he was so hopelessly in love with him. 

_“I loved your gift”_ he typed onto their chat, staring at the message on the screen. Despite being so simple, he found it too cheesy, so he typed something else to harden the message but keep the sentiment. 

_GrumpyKag: I loved your gift, idiot_

Yeah, much better. 

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: Im glad (｡◕‿◕｡) but I thought u didnt like good luck charms_

_“Yeah, but this one’s yours”_ was what Kageyama wanted to say, but decided against it. Honestly, he wanted to crack his phone screen against his forehead because that would be easier than dealing with the rumbling emotions in his chest. Why was he so unable to control himself? What was even happening? Since when did the simplest, stupidest things make him so flustered? 

_GrumpyKag: Yeah but Im not an ungrateful bitch_

So now he was shooting himself in the foot with that one text. The next week was going to be hell. 

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: wow okay ༼ ʘ̚ ͜ ʘ̚༽ _  
_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: u still loved it tho no takebacks ~(˘▾˘~)_

Kageyama smiled at his phone for what felt like a minute too long. The guy had him whipped and the sudden realization made his chest feel all funny, but maybe it wasn’t in a bad way entirely. 

_BabyCarrot_Shouyou: u better come home with all the secret techniques so we can wipe the floor with everyone when we go to nationals_

_When_ they went to nationals, not _if._

_GrumpyKag: I will. Promise_

__  
.  


“Koushi?” Daichi asked, playing with a strand with silvery hair, twisting it between his fingers. 

“Hm?” Suga gave as an answer, rolling his shoulders slightly. 

“I love you.” He whispered, pressing his lips to his head, and feeling Suga vibrate with slight laughter. They were peacefully lounging in Daichi’s room, and the atmosphere around them was cozy and comfortable. Daichi would be lying if he said he hadn’t been worried when Suga showed up at his doorstep, soaked in rain and with puffy red eyes. He had pulled him inside without a second thought, Suga not saying a word, letting himself be guided up the stairs and stripped off his drenched clothes. Daichi threw one of his old pajamas on him and urged him to get under the blankets. 

They had talked in hushed whispers, Suga sniffling into the silence of the room while Daichi hugged him close to his chest and petted his hair gently. He knew things in the Sugawara household had been tense lately, but he didn’t expect Suga to actually run away for a night. He comforted him until he had calmed down completely, and told him he could stay if he wanted, figure things out in the morning. Daichi had seen Suga in pain countless times, but now it felt like the stake in his heart had become even sharper. Nonetheless, he was glad that Suga knew he could show up at his door at any hour and he would be there for him no matter what. 

That had happened maybe an hour ago, and now it felt more like they were having a sleepover rather than an impromptu visit. Suga was reading one of Daichi’s tattered up novels, using him as a full body pillow, his cheek nestled comfortably in his chest. Daichi must have dozed off for a couple of minutes before simply basking in Suga’s presence and enjoying the company. Now Suga had put the book down and was looking up at him with those sky-blue eyes that could make Daichi’s heart flutter with just a look. 

“I love you too.” He said, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. Daichi wondered if they would ever get tired of their little game of calling the other’s attention just to say those three words. The other guys at the team had picked up on it even if they just mouthed it when they were in public, and Daichi knew they all rolled their eyes at their antics and he was weirdly satisfied by it. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” He answered, trying to ignore the blush that was crawling onto his cheeks. Suga was resting his entire weight on top of him, and while physical contact never really bothered them before, the way he was resting his chin on his chest to look up to him was doing certain things to his head. 

“Do you think your parents would be mad if they knew we were together?” Suga asked carefully. “Just because, well I’m here a lot and they don’t seem to mind, I don’t know if they’ll be so thrilled if they knew that I was more than a friend.” 

“I honestly don’t know.” Daichi pondered, staring at the ceiling. He rested a hand on Suga’s lower back and sighed with his eyes closed. “I don’t really want to think about that future conversation right now.” 

“We could keep up the front of being best friends and best friends _only._” He suggested. “If it makes things easier.” 

“Maybe, for a while. At least until we eventually get a place.” Daichi said, fully aware of what he was implying. Suga sat up slowly, giving him a look, rolling over and cuddling to Daichi’s side instead. He threw one leg on top of his and propped himself up with his elbow. 

“Excuse me?” he half-laughed, poking Daichi in the chest when he saw him snickering. “Get a place?” 

“Well sometimes I’m cheesy like that and I think about our domestic college fantasy.” He said, and watched in delight how Suga laughed and it made his eyes crease adorably. 

“Really?” Suga said through his grin. It took Daichi a few seconds to recover and come back to reality because he had gotten lost in that expression. 

“Yeah, when we finish high school and you’re off to college we could get a crappy apartment together.” He explained, genuinely surprised he wasn’t more embarrassed about his whole idealistic plan for a future, that certainly would not please any of their school advisors. 

“Tell me more.” He prompted him, tracing his jaw softly. Daichi tried to ignore the nice tingle in his skin and decided not to tell him to stop, even if it made keeping his mind on the task a little harder. 

“We’ll have the tiniest apartment, probably not fit for two people.” He said, looking up but still feeling Suga’s eyes on him. “We’ll have like, a mini fridge that only ever has some milk and half a lemon. There’ll be a single, probably second-hand couch that makes a springing sound if you sit on it for too long. We’ll have to share a bed that barely fits us both, and we’ll keep finding more and more creative ways to be comfortable in it.” 

“Wait, that’s your fantasy?” Suga asked, looking at him with a quirked eyebrow. “I thought we would be like, living in a penthouse, and we offer champagne to everyone that comes over, and we become the rich uncles that show up to family gatherings in designer clothes.” 

“That part comes later.” Daichi shushed him, chuckling at Suga’s bewildered expression. “This is a realistic fantasy.” 

“That’s not…” He started, but quickly decided it wasn’t worth it to point out the contradiction, he was pretty sure Daichi knew. Besides, he really wanted to see how everything turned out for the daydream version of themselves. “Never mind, go on.” 

“We’ll both get part time jobs at like, a hipster café, or a greasy burger stand.” He continued, actually smiling at the concept. “You’ll look amazing in your uniform and I’ll be playfully jealous of all the costumers you tend to. You’ll come back with the smell of cheap coffee, or grill fumes still clinging to your hair.” 

“When does this get good?” Suga urged him, impatience clear on his tone. “Or is this just us being miserably cramped together.” 

“It is already good.” Daichi argued, ignoring his partner’s exasperated eyeroll. “When you wake up to get ready for morning classes, with your bedhead and sleepy eyes, you’ll find me in the kitchenette making you breakfast. Expect only like, eggs and toast ‘cause that’s the only thing I’ve learnt how not to burn.” 

“If I’m waking up at the break of dawn I won’t care what’s on my plate as long as it’s edible.” He commented, now actually playing along with Daichi’s narrative, which greatly pleased him. 

“I’ll also bring you midnight snacks when you’re up late studying. I’ll make you grilled cheese sandwiches, and trail mix, and cut up some fruit when we’re in the mood of pretending we’re still eating healthily. I’ll have you repeat concepts over and over and over until you get them down, I’ll help you make notecards for your exams. I’ll fix the collar of your shirt as you leave for your lectures, kiss you goodbye. We’ll have takeout boxes lying everywhere when we’ll be too tired to throw them out, we’ll have those microwave dinners until we’re absolutely sick of them. We’ll go out to party as much as you want, get hilariously drunk but somehow find our way back home, even if we’re comically leaning on each other and it takes us like 6 tries to unlock the door. We’ll pass out on our tiny couch, wake up feeling like absolute shit, but we’ll be together nonetheless so it’ll be okay, it will all be okay.” 

“Daichi…” Suga whispered, voice charged with a heavy feeling. His hand came up to gently run through his short hair, looking at him with absolute adoration on his blue eyes. That kind of future seemed so flawed, but so _real_. Of course things weren’t going to be easy and they couldn’t skip right to being completely content with their lives; and Daichi was here telling him that even if it was going to suck, it was also going to be okay because they’d be together. That even as everything around them changed, their bond would stay untouched, like it had always been. Suga didn’t really know what to say, more than he wanted to be a part of that realistic fantasy or something along those lines. 

Instead he decided to kiss him, cupping his face firmly as he let him know everything in this unspoken way. He felt Daichi’s arms come up to hug him closer, as if he wasn’t already literally lying on top of him. They kissed slowly, almost lazily, like they had all the time in the world. His lips felt like they were always meant to be against his own, and the bitter memories of how long it had taken them to get to this point made Suga press a little harder, making his partner make a low sound from the back of his throat. 

It felt like it had been hours, Suga was now staring down at how Daichi was smirking lopsidedly with his kiss-swollen lips and his hair all messy. It was a sight he hoped would stay on his mind for the long run. For the short run, he was happy with just lying on Daichi’s bed, completely wrapped around him to get as much warmth as he could, and be softly lulled to sleep by the sound of his beloved’s breathing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!  
Here's a new chapter :D (that I know took a little longer to get done, sorry about that)  
I hope everyone is staying safe out there and that this was of your liking ;)  
the next chapter might be a loooong one, we'll see  
Thank you all so much for your support, it really does mean a lot <3  
love you all and have a great week!


	34. You better make it

After exiting the train station and making his way back home, Hinata told himself that he was going to be fine. Why shouldn’t he be? It wasn’t like he had grown accustomed to Kageyama’s presence to the point of feeling like the air around him had changed when he was no longer there. But that was ridiculous, he couldn’t possibly miss him so fucking much that it was way harder to wake up Saturday for his morning run. He only did it partially because he was sure Kageyama would know somehow if he slacked off and he would never hear the end of it. 

Even without him, Hinata always stayed behind after practice. The gym felt emptier than usual. He had no setter so all that he could really do was practice his serves. And so he did, over and over and over again until his palm was sore but hey, at least his attempt at a jump serve was getting pretty decent. If Kageyama was there he would correct his posture, or his approach, or anything that he was doing wrong, and he feared that if he continued to do it on his own he would get a sloppy habit that would be hard to correct in the future. He sighed, walking heavily to retreat the ball now that he didn’t have someone else to receive it at the other end. 

It wasn’t that bad. He missed Kageyama, but it wasn’t like his whole world had ended. He just missed the jerk more than he thought he would, and the feeling of longing was messing with his head and almost had him saying some pretty disgustingly cheesy things when they chatted at night. For what little information Kageyama gave him, he seemed to be doing well over there in the training camp. He had admitted that he was slightly intimidated because it was filled with third years, and he was the youngest of the bunch. 

The day of their match with Nekoma, Hinata woke up to a ‘do good’ text that made his insides stir. Playing with his friends from the other school lifted his spirits and put him on a better mood, and he was smiling while sitting completely drained in the bus back home and texting Kageyama an excited ‘we won!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

On the other side, Kageyama let himself fall heavily on his futon and managed two whole deep breaths before reaching for his phone. He was alone in the room since he had basically escaped after showering to avoid having to talk to any of his teammates. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along well, they did, it was just the thought of making small talk that urged him to seclude himself as soon as practice was over. He stared at his phone screen as messages came in one after the other; Hinata describing his day at school and somehow finding more and more things to tell him about. Kageyama wasn’t aware that he was smiling like an idiot. 

He wished Hinata was there with him, sometimes. He would be a great buffer, with his jumpy and excited personality to contrast with Kageyama’s more reserved one, maybe interacting with the other players wouldn’t be such a nightmare. Much to his own surprise, most of the spikers were rather good at picking up his unspoken cues, but were very vocal about how they wanted their tosses to be. Kageyama was very adaptable, he responded to every demand that he was given and took every piece of advice from both the coaches and his seniors. He knew other people were watching him, important people that managed professional teams and were keeping an eye out for players that peaked their interests. Kageyama hoped his performance was enough to at least get his jersey number across and into their minds. When the constant surveillance became too much, he remembered Hinata telling him that he was far too young to be worrying about such things, that he should focus on his high school team before even considering another one. And maybe he was right, it did help his nerves to ease back into the fact that he still had time. With how long he had spent racing to improve himself, the new rhythm was something to get used to, but that ultimately lifted a weight off his shoulders. 

At night and during breaks he would start to think about nationals, or more specifically of what they had to go through to get to nationals. He would be lying if he said the thought of facing Oikawa again didn’t frighten him at least the smallest bit. He was praying for the bracket gods to put Aobajohsai as far from Karasuno as possible, hopefully so they would get eliminated by Shiratorizawa before they had the chance to step on the same court as them. It was a weird thought, the fact that Kageyama dreaded a match with Seijoh more than he did one with the team that had won the finals like five years in a row. On his defense, they had played Seijoh before and lost, but they had never played against Ushijima. That mere name sparked a bunch of bittersweet memories from all the way back to the beginning of the year, when he decided spying on a private school was a good idea and Hinata had followed him along. 

He chuckled. It had only been a couple of months and they were both so wildly different already. He could even hear coach Ukai’s voice saying _well kid, you’ve done a lot of growing up lately_. As Kageyama realized that there were much too many things to think about, he shortened his train of thought until he had only one wagon left: he was going back home to see Hinata in less than 2 days. 

The week had honestly passed him by, and even Kageyama was a little burnt out of being constantly under the severe hand of professional coaches. He would be the first to admit that he needed a break. He had learned so much he felt his brain was overheating from trying to process all the new information, and his muscles had committed to memory the new techniques even without his input. Kageyama had been trained to the bone, and even so he was weirdly hyper while the train sped its way back to Miyagi. 

He didn’t exactly know what to expect, he just knew that Hinata was going to be there to receive him. There was no doubt about it. What distracted him most was that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do, or how Hinata would react, or what would he say. The situation was entirely out of his control and that freaked him out. Kageyama finally got out of the train, clutching his bag with unnecessary force as he walked to a less crowded area. He then proceeded to scan his surroundings to look for a mop of orange hair. 

He had a whole two seconds of innocent confusion before a small ball of sunshine energy collided with him harshly and threw his arms around him. Kageyama stumbled back a few steps but instantly latched onto his partner, squeezing him against his him without saying a word. He felt Hinata giggle softly in the tightness of their embrace, with his cheek squished to his chest. The mayhem in Kageyama’s mind suddenly quieted, and there was nothing left but the steady beat of their now synchronized hearts. It was so good to be back. 

Hinata only separated slightly to press a shy kiss to the edge of his mouth, which Kageyama turned into a proper one as soon as he could. He cupped his face between his sore, calloused hands and kissed him like he hadn’t heard from him in weeks, like he was ecstatic to see him again and wanted him to know just how much he had missed him. They kissed without a care in the world, like time had stopped around them and the people had disappeared. It that moment nothing else mattered but the fact that they had gotten back a missing piece, and everything was shifting back to normal. 

Even as they walked out of the station, Kageyama kept an arm around Hinata’s shoulders, making him walk close to him. The short guy was yapping about all the things he wanted to do, pestering him with questions and for once Kageyama was delighted instead of annoyed. In a very Hinata-like fashion, he produced ice cream cones seemingly out of thin air since Kageyama was too distracted by his chest feeling like he had inhaled helium. 

Kageyama thought he wasn’t the type of person to crave physical contact, he actually tried to keep people out of his personal bubble, but now that he was back in town he did not let go of Hinata’s hand, keeping him close to him even if their walk was a bit sloppy because of their shoulders rubbing together. Hinata wasn’t complaining either, pressing his cheek to his forearm without any explanation as to why. For the whole afternoon they just shared the same space in silence, and it was weirdly comforting. One of the thoughts that Kageyama kept pushing to the back of his head was the fact that being away for a week had done such a number on his heart. That Hinata was so fundamental to him was honestly terrifying, but as long as he kept Hinata by his side then it was all okay, right? 

He didn’t have to worry about such things when Hinata was sitting in front of him, resting his cheek against his palm and urging him silently to tell him absolutely everything. It was wild to think that there had been a time when those precious hazel eyes had burned with a fire fueled by rivalry and disdain, and now they looked up at him brightly with a gaze that could cut his breathing short. Kageyama felt like he talked for hours, scrapping his brain for every last little detail of his experience just so that Hinata would keep giving him that amazed look. 

Eventually Kageyama had to return home, and as they were about to part ways Hinata grabbed his face and kissed him quickly and harshly before bolting away as fast as he could. He felt heat come up to his face, and as he watched Hinata disappear down the street like an orange streak; he couldn’t help the dumb smile that invaded his lips, that were still tingling with the aftermath. 

.

They said time flies when you’re happy. Hinata felt like he was in the gym training with his friends, and then he blinked, and he was standing in front of the city stadium. The black team jacket felt heavier than usual, the air around them was tense and Hinata basically contented himself with hiding in the middle of their huddle so that no one could see him. The last few weeks before the tournament had been the happiest of his first year of high school, somehow it seemed like everything was okay for once. 

Kageyama had been _slightly_ impressed with Hinata’s improvement while he was away (he was mostly pleased actually, but he would never admit it, because somethings between them just weren’t going to change), and they had picked up right back with their early Saturday training, except that now after they were done they would go somewhere around town and enjoy each other’s company. At some point someone (probably Noya) had teased him about having dates with Kageyama every weekend and how they ‘knew how to keep the romance alive’. Hinata had never thought of their outings as dates, but he didn’t really mind it and laughed along while Kageyama turned bright red and his frown became deeper than usual. He guessed that even if they were on the same page when it came to their relationship, Kageyama would always be shy about it. Hinata was okay with that, he found it rather cute. 

He sometimes wondered how someone that could come off as intimidating so easily, with the serious expression and grumpy eyes, was adorably shy at the same time. 

Hinata had been caught in the bliss of the days, he had no time to make himself sick by thinking about their upcoming tournament. He only became aware that the date was coming up because he watched the third years grow more and more serious with each passing day. Hinata couldn’t possibly imagine what they must have felt, walking into the tournament knowing it was going to be their last. The thought of experiencing that himself in the future was somewhat worrying. 

No one could deny Karasuno had improved exponentially since their last performance. Every member of the team had sharpened their abilities and the connection between them had coach Ukai smiling like a proud mom. They managed to win the first two rounds and make their way up the charts. Hinata was pleased, the team seemed to be synchronizing well and everybody was feeling confident. 

That, until they stood before the position chart for their next game. In a second a sinking feeling of déjà vu settled in their chest as they stared at their name paired with Aobajohsai. One could say the bracket gods hadn’t listened to Kageyama’s prayers. Hinata sighed heavily and discreetly looked out for his partner’s reaction. Everybody was silent, but Kageyama’s gaze was completely lost as he swallowed nervously. Hinata was bold enough to latch their fingers together and they both squeezed each other’s hand in an attempt to find comfort. Their break time passed way too quickly, and just like that they were standing on a court with Seijoh on the other side of the net. 

Like a sick repetition of last time, Kageyama and Oikawa crossed looks and it was almost like everyone was set on edge after that. And just like last time, Hinata took it upon himself to prevent the Grand King from getting into his partner’s head, he distracted him all through warms up as best he could. His hands didn’t shake, his breathing was normal, he didn’t give a single sign that he was nervous, but Hinata knew better. 

“Hey.” He called, putting himself between the two setters that were engaged in a staring contest. “Look at me.” 

Kageyama settled his eyes on him, the deep blue conjuring up a storm as he tried to keep the turmoil of emotions under control. 

“It’s fine.” Hinata said, placing a comforting hand on his arm, knowing full well Oikawa was looking at them. “We’re different now. We’re better.” 

“We’re better.” He repeated in a hushed voice, and leaned forward to press his forehead against Hinata’s in a subtle gesture before taking his place in the lineup. It was Daichi that was directly in front of Oikawa since they were the captains, but as soon as they got into positions Kageyama found himself staring at his rival’s smug expression through the net. 

“Tobio.” He smirked, sounding like he was sickly pleased to see him again. It was evident that he had the upper hand and more of a reason to feel superior. 

“Oikawa.” He responded dryly, focusing on feeling the presence of his teammates around him rather than those on the other side. 

“I’ve beaten you once and I’ll do it again.” Oikawa purred, and for a couple seconds it felt like he had once again trapped him in his game, where he felt isolated and at mercy of his harsh words. “But don’t think I’ll get all confident just because I won last time.” 

“I would be offended if you did.” He responded, and Oikawa laughed hoarsely, his sharp eyes glinting with mockery. 

“This isn’t going to be my last match, Tobio-chan. Be sure of it.” 

Instead of biting back, Kageyama looked around him to see Daichi and Asahi, and then Suga at the sidelines. The captain especially caught his eye and gave him a nod of encouragement, like telling him not to worry. It was kind of unfair, that he was there having such a hard time keeping his head cold when his third years were standing in what could be their last match with the team. The image of them three huddled in a circle with their heads pressed together just before the start flashed in his mind, and it tightened the knot in his throat. He could not let their last match be a repeat of a defeat. He wouldn’t let it. 

Hinata had been right, Karasuno was different. As coach Ukai had once told them when they were sitting around in the gym with their heads hung low and unshed tears in their eyes; whichever team plays better that day is the one that succeeds. And that day, Karasuno played better. They managed to beat Seijoh by the skin of their teeth, and when the ball hit the other side of the court and the final whistle went off, it was like the tension in their bodies dissolved instantly. Kageyama felt like he might as well turn into a puddle on the ground. 

There were a few seconds of silence, and then everything exploded. The spikers were throwing themselves on each other, Hinata was screaming, even coach Ukai found himself trapped in a tight hug by his beloved advisor. Kageyama kept standing where he was, breathing heavily and feeling sweat roll down his face. Oikawa had his back turned to him, and his team was around him. Hajime was keeping him especially close. Even when his teammates were staring up at him with tears rolling down their cheeks, he stayed dignified until the very end, putting on a wet smile and laughing bitterly. Kageyama felt like he was intruding in a moment that wasn’t his to witness, but he couldn’t look away. For the longest time he had seen Oikawa as the unbeatable player that he was, a player that was hardened by experience and fortified by his team. Someone he could never hope to surpass. Right then and there he saw a captain that had to stay strong for a team that had just lost their chance to continue, a third year that had played his last match with them and was fighting back tears of his own. 

Just as the teams were leaving the court, Kageyama caught one last glance of his former mentor, the person who had been his rival for such a long time, who still facing the bitter end of his high school volleyball career was keeping his head up. His gaze was deep, and he could almost see the tiniest bit of respect in his eyes. What he was sure of was the message that those eyes burned into his skull as one final goodbye: 

_You better make it to nationals, Kageyama Tobio._

.

The euphoria of winning against Seijoh was short-lived. In no time they were on the court again, and even Kageyama was starting to get sick of the sound of hands spiking the ball and shoes squeaking on the floor. Even if they all had the time to cool down, it felt like they came out of the previous match and plunged right into the next one. The team was weirdly calm, like they knew a storm was coming their way. Coach Ukai’s words reverberated in Kageyama’s mind, the advice getting lost among the confusing mist of nerves and exhaustion. They had never played a final before, but they knew it was going to be agony. They’d probably have to play through five sets, and most of them standing on the court had also played the entirety of the previous matches, with few breaks in between. They knew they had to save every last bit of their energy or they might not make it. 

Kageyama didn’t know what he expected his meeting with Ushijima to be like. It was nothing like his other weird relationships with rivals, the guy wasn’t confrontational and eager to come spit harsh words in his face like Oikawa was. He was mostly silent, and when he spoke he did it in a low voice, which made everything he said even more unnerving. The few words they had exchanged that one time were condescending, but they weren’t ill intended, or at least it hadn’t seemed that way. The fact that Ushijima heartfully believed he was better than them in every way made Kageyama’s skin itch. 

When the two teams were actually facing each other, their eyes didn’t meet but Kageyama could feel Ushijima’s stare burning into him, and most concerningly into Hinata. The only difference was that Hinata was actually returning the gaze, and Kageyama was even afraid to look, so he didn’t. There were more important things in his head, them being there was not about proving a point anymore. He wanted to win precisely because he doesn’t need a reason to. 

Time flies him by, rallies are reduced to a few heart beats, in the blink of an eye he finds himself in the middle of the third set and Kageyama feels like he cannot stand anymore. He’s had to wipe his forehead more times than he cares to count to avoid sweat dripping into his eyes, his pulse has been thrumming loudly through his body for the last ten minutes and gave no sign of stopping. Like it was his fate from the start, he was hyper-fixated, it was like he could feel every shift and movement around him, his mind was running a hundred scenarios per minute trying to figure out where to move and how fast he had to get there. He was beginning to push his teammates even harder, to the point of grabbing their shirts to drag them to the block positions because his body acted first than his voice. 

His superhuman perception was his best weapon, but also his greatest weakness. He was getting too overwhelmed, being assaulted by stimuli left and right had him wanting every light to explode and every voice to shut up. Even so, Kageyama had managed to correctly guess the direction of the spikes quite a few times now, but that didn’t mean they stopped the ball at all. Ushijima had blown right past his blocks so much that he could barely feel the ends of his fingertips. Whatever the cost, he along with the others were going to keep jumping, it gave Noya a buffer so he could dig the ball up and put it in play for them. 

It’s maddening, but he knows he has to keep going. For once, Kageyama feels like he is the axis of the team, and finds out it is as painful as it rewarding. He’s uncomfortably aware of his teammates’ heavy breathing, of the tremble of their legs fighting to keep them up. Who he tosses now doesn’t depend on who’s better positioned, but who’s the least tired to jump. It was like their exhaustion was pulling him apart in different directions, tearing at his muscles, and he was in the center of the court trying to keep them together. 

If he hadn’t been so burned out, he would have been angrier at the fact that Shiratorizawa looked untouched except for a few heavy breaths once in a while. It was almost like they were used to this hell. 

Kageyama knows he was to keep going, but he feels like he can’t. His head is swimming and he might collapse at any second, but he’ll be damned if he lets Ushijima walk all over his team. _This isn’t over_ he keeps repeating to himself like a mantra, trying to keep what’s left of his composure. He feels as if he’s about to break, and something in the back of his mind is telling him that if he keeps pushing it, he’ll do more harm than good. He can’t worry about it for too long because he sees Sugawara holding up his number, and he almost whimpers out loud. 

Coach Ukai’s signals him to come over, and he does in the most dignified way he can manage. Despite his efforts, his legs won’t stop shaking, and it can be seen in his step. When he’s finally seated his vision is all blurry, but he can feel Takeda sensei’s comforting hand on his back as he gathers himself once more. When he can lift his head up again, he sees Ushijima giving him a concerned look and he hates him for it, even if he knows it’s unreasonable. He has no energy to be coherent about those sorts of things. 

After a couple minutes of following the ball with his eyes frantically and dumping a whole bottle of water over his head, Kageyama is allowed back into the court. When Suga switches places with him, he gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. The guys welcome him with pats on the back and a second later they’re all in position again. There is no time to lose. 

What Kageyama had yet to learn was that no matter how fast, strong, intelligent he was, he could go into a game and fight with absolutely everything he’s got and still end up losing. When he was in front of a net, there was a whole other group of people on the other side who wanted the same thing as him, had the same goals and motivations. Life wasn’t the ideal world where you succeed just by working hard and believing in yourself or whatever. 

After another excruciatingly long deuce, Shiratorizawa managed to take the set. Kageyama could physically feel his soul drop to his feet, and suddenly he’s breathless again. He leans heavily on his knees and tries to breathe, closing his eyes tightly. When Kageyama stepped into a court, failure never crossed his mind. He thought it to be useless to consider that possibility since it was always there, and there was no point dwelling on it. He could prioritize his attention into getting the next point, so even if there was a huge gap in the scores and he was on the short end of it, he wouldn’t lose his cool and keep playing. Even at a match point, Kageyama continued to struggle as if it was any other point. He knew the set was over, but the match wasn’t, by all means he should be doing fine and going into the next one as he usually would. But right there, with the weight of everything that the match meant, not only to him but to the family that he had found in his teammates, Kageyama started to be plagued by doubts for the first time as a volleyball player. 

What if they really don’t make it? The momentum wasn’t on their side, every player on their side of the court can barely keep up with the unforgiving rhythm of the rallies, they’re only getting openings out of pure luck and defending is proving to be harder and harder. What if it isn’t enough? What if they have to walk out of that center court with nothing more than the exhaustion deeply rooted in their bones? Would people pity them? See them as the team that almost made it? Had he been a fool by thinking they could go up against the five-time champion that was Shiratorizawa Academy? 

Before he could drive himself mad, his rambling thoughts were interrupted by Hinata, who had grabbed his face quite harshly and was forcing him to look him in the eye. He was covered in sweat, his hair darkened and sticking to his head, his pupils were full blown against the soft brown of his irises, but his voice was steady when he spoke. 

“Tobio.” He called, and Kageyama felt his name roll of his lips like a warning. The words were then choppy because of his heavy breathing. “There’s a still a set left. We’re two for two. You got this. We got this.” 

“Okay.” he answered, still a little shaken but definitely reassured by his partner’s presence. Slowly, they take deep breaths together, Hinata’s grip softens and he lets his hands drop. Kageyama then latches onto his wrist gently, and can feel Hinata’s pulse under his fingers, how it slows down to a steady beat once they’ve calmed down. 

The whistle is a distant sound, and they all get back to their spots by pure muscle memory. Kageyama takes one last breath and tries to relax. He’s grounded, and ready. Ushijima’s stare does little to perturb him, even as he seems almost pitiful going into the serve that has killed their opportunities more than once. The strength of it is consistent, even Kageyama has a hard time following the ball as it whistles past them. Or so it seemed. He turns his head just in time to see Noya dive for the ball like a madman, and he can only flinch at the sound it makes against his skin before he can process that it’s his turn to act. Kageyama can’t help the smile that crawls onto his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! hope you're all staying safe  
I'm writing the last chapters of this story and I will post them as I finish them.  
Again thank you all so much for all your support, it really makes my day :)  
hope you enjoy this chapter and expect more soon!! <3


	35. Better decision

For Daichi, the volleyball team meant everything. Whether they were having practice matches, training together in the gym between laughs and playful shoves, or struggling to catch up in the tournament finals, he as their captain had to keep them together, keep them motivated, and not lose faith in any circumstance. Despite all that, he would be the first one to admit that he had felt defeated even before the last set. Deep down he was aware of one of his biggest flaws, his own fatalistic thinking of resigning early and accepting that things weren’t going their way, it was his own twisted way of protecting himself from disappointment that would eventually lead him to beating himself to a pulp over a failure. This tendency was matched by Suga glaring at him with his precious blue eyes, comforting but also saying _you better keep going Sawamura_ in equal measure. 

As many of his teammates, his brain had shut off any other thought and for the duration of that last set there was only one visible goal: just get another point. Because of this, it took them a few seconds to process the final whistle going off. The room was dead silent, as if time itself had stopped and had no reason to continue now that it was over. Daichi looked at the scoreboard and saw that it marked 19 to 21, and their name was above the winning mark. 

The silence lingered, the only sound being the beating of his own heart, still crazed by the exertion. He managed to keep his composure for a few more seconds before everything around him exploded and he all but collapsed on Asahi’s arms. He squeezed him back in an instant, letting out a shaky sigh and feeling his teammate tremble uncontrollably. Daichi felt his throat close up with emotion, no words coming out to tell Asahi just how he was feeling. One of his best friends, who was almost like a brother to him, that had gone through so many rough moments while playing together, he who had doubted himself countless times, and sacrificed so much for the team; now, they were going to nationals. 

He felt the weight of another body hit them, and he staggered backwards under his two friends hugging him; a pair of familiar arms wrapping around them both, and that’s when they all burst into tears. Suga chuckled in between sobs as they cried, openly and unapologetic, holding onto each other. The world around them seemed to disappear, the whole stadium could be empty for all they cared. 

For Kageyama, it was like an actual bomb had detonated a few steps from him. The whole court exploded with screams and claps, and he had to physically restrain himself from throwing his hands over his ears, even if he felt like his head was splitting. Everybody around him was either crying or screaming, and he was too shocked to move. He tried to form a coherent thought over the incessant ringing in his ears, but at some point he must have zoned out completely, because he found himself standing in line with a medal around his neck. Feeling the weight of it made a new brand of happiness blossom in his chest, leaving him breathless. Even with the euphoria that coursed through him, that rendered his hands shaky and his eyes misty, the flashing lights and constant cheering were getting to his already spiked nerves. 

Before he knew it, Kageyama was wrapped into a hug that took his breath away. He had been overwhelmed for most of the match, so he wasn’t going to start controlling his emotions now. He had no need for the sober façade of someone who’s pleased with another win, because this wasn’t just another win. It was the result of their combined efforts, of their sacrifices, of fighting through hellish conditions together as team. Kageyama buried his face in the center of their hug, too afraid to have that breathtaking emotion displayed on his expression. For the first time ever, he was proud, he was truly and genuinely happy to have the people around him as his team; and he felt their love and appreciation as well, for once he was part of something bigger, something better. All his past mistakes that had haunted him for such a long time were erased and replaced by this single memory, the feeling of winning alongside his family, in what he would count as his first ever victory. 

Hinata for his own part had a sudden burst of adrenaline, he jumped in the air and ran around the court, hugging everyone that would have him and screaming in joy. That lasted him through the little medal ceremony, and even while standing still he was visibly vibrating. His winner’s high kept his body bouncing happily on his feet before he completely shut down. They were walking out of the court, Kageyama was at the tail end of the group staring at the back of his teammates. Hinata was in the middle of talking chirpily when he collapsed without any warning. Kageyama’s body reacted in a heartbeat, he stepped forward to catch him as he literally passed out. With barely any energy to support them both, they ended up on the floor, Kageyama got the air knocked out of him as Hinata’s weight landed on top of him. 

The edges of his vision blurred, but he recognized coach Ukai’s worried face looking down at the pile of exhausted players they made, all splattered on the floor. 

“Kageyama?” coach asked him, kneeling besides them to try to shake Hinata. The spiker’s eyes fluttered lightly, and he made a sound that could mean anything. 

“I can’t feel my legs.” Kageyama responded, weirdly calm for such a statement. Now the team was crowding around them, and he wasn’t sure what they were saying, their voices blending in with the general murmur in his brain. 

“Oh lord.” He distinguished Takeda sensei’s concerned voice, and he could almost see coach Ukai restlessly pulling at the ends of his hair. 

“Pick up your kid, Keishin.” Another voice chimed in, and Kageyama saw an older man poke his head into the circle; and after a second of looking at them and shaking his head, he bent down and picked Hinata up, draping him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “I got this one.” 

Kageyama was still conscious, but he didn’t feel very capable of moving. The thought of the other Shiratorizawa players seeing him all collapsed on the floor flashed in his mind, but he was too tired to be bothered. Coach Ukai picked him up with a grunt, holding him against his chest like a toddler and making an off-hand comment about how he was getting too old to carry 15-year-olds in his arms. Kageyama didn’t complain, he stayed silent; but Ukai felt him rest his grip tighten slightly, resting his head on his shoulders and sagging against him. Ukai couldn’t suppress the laughter that bubbled in his chest, thanking his lucky stars for whatever reasons had led him to be there in that moment._ Pick up your kid, Keishin_ his grandfather had said, and maybe it had been just a way to tease him; but Ukai readjusted his grip on the drained setter and let himself be consumed by the fondness he felt. He wanted to squeeze the life out of every single one of his kids, but he focused on getting them to the changing room first. 

Since they had screamed their heart’s content out earlier, the room where they finally collapsed on the floor was completely silent except for their heavy breathing. Takeda sensei made sure they all got enough water in their systems and then left them so they could change out of their sweaty clothes. Everyone’s moves were lethargic, but some couldn’t erase the grins from their faces. With their burning muscles and overjoyed hearts, Karasuno made their way out of the stadium sporting a gold medal around their necks. 

Once they were finally on the bus back home, everything fell down into silence and Kageyama was able to think clearly again. His burst of emotions had left him feeling drained, which only added on to his physical exhaustion, so in conclusion he was really fucking tired. He was glad that he was away from the noise of the stadium, and the soft murmur of the engine was soothing enough to make him come down from the high. That, and the clear image of Hinata sitting next to him, fingers playing absently with the medal, but what was most stunning about it was the smile that pulled at his lips. Kageyama had seen him smile countless times, the guy was a walking ray of sunshine, but never quite like this. There was something else behind that smile, something deep that words couldn’t describe. A different kind of happiness, the one that fills your chest with warmth and makes you smile just like Hinata was in that moment. 

Kageyama was almost scared to disturb such a pure glow, but he sheepishly offered his open palm, and it took only a few seconds for Hinata to lace their fingers together. The comfortable weight on his hand served as reassurance, but then Hinata turned to look at him with those eyes and his breath left him for the hundred time that day. In the few heartbeats he managed to hold his gaze before looking away and blushing violently, Kageyama realized his deep desire to keep winning, because then he could share it with Hinata and see that kind of joy in his face again, even if it blinded him and made his heart beat faster. 

Hinata snuggled against his shoulder, and Kageyama simply rested his head on top of his and closed his eyes. Most of them felt the compelling pull of sleep and dozed off for the entire ride. Noya however, was still awake, much to Asahi’s concern. He didn’t want to glance down at his hands because he was sure the skin would be raw, and bruises would already be forming in his forearms. Despite the obvious strain of his body, Noya’s eyes remained focused, lost in thought as he stared out the window without really seeing out of it. Asahi admired the concentrated frown on his expression and wondered what he was thinking about. He then placed a soft kiss on his temple, enough to snap him back to reality for only a second so he could hear him whisper: 

“You’re gonna look amazing in black.” 

.

No one expected Karasuno, who hadn’t been to Nationals in years, to make it as far as they did. It was safe to say that nothing could have prepared them for the strange world that was Nationals, and for the most part they felt like the new kid among all the other experienced teams with players that had been there more than once. At first it was like coach Ukai and Takeda sensei had to herd a gaggle of five-year-olds that wouldn’t stop staring at the most random things in absolute wonder. 

Kageyama didn’t think it was possible to me mesmerized by a floor, or a ceiling, and yet there he was. 

He was also mesmerized by other players, by the arrange of new, stronger opponents. It was a fierce display of talent, strategy and sheer willpower, and there was no doubt some viewers walked away with Karasuno as their favorite underdog. The few nights they spent together countered the tense atmosphere of being on the court, and it was almost like they were having a big sleepover again, with less drama this time. Kageyama did use every chance he got to make fun of Hinata in his own endearing way. By the end of the tournament the image of Hinata with his arms crossed and staring angrily at him was burned into his mind, but what was Kageyama supposed to do when he had to be completely covered in orange of all colors? He was a walking tangerine man, an angry pumpkin guy, an annoyed cheese puff, a particularly small carrot, a humanized goldfish, a jumpy traffic cone. He could go on forever. 

Apart from Kageyama’s increasingly creative nicknames, Hinata found a sick kind of joy in feeling his muscles scream at him as he forced the limits of his body. After the first taste of hell that was the match against Shiratorizawa, a demented part of him wanted to feel it again. The aftermath was terrible, he knew he would want to die afterwards; but the rush of adrenaline at the beginning of a rally, the bitter bite of each spike, the high of the fleeting seconds between each round, he craved the moment he could embrace the primal and fundamental state of playing volleyball with his team. He couldn’t wait to do it again. 

When they eventually lost, the public bid them goodbye with cheering and applause, and the boys made their way out of the court with the respect of those who had faced them in a match for all-or-nothing. No one would be calling them flightless crows from that point forward. The third years looked nostalgic as they changed out of their uniforms, Asahi was silent and almost like he wasn’t really there, Daichi was holding the shirt with the 1 on it tightly and staring at it absently. Suga had placed a comforting hand on his neck, but his eyes were also filled with a bittersweet sentiment. Hinata looked away, a little too shaken to think about his seniors leaving the team for good. He looked for Kageyama instead, who had already finished changing and was kneading at his thighs nervously. Their eyes met and they were overflown with comfort, for a short moment they didn’t worry about anything. They still had time. 

The team and their two advisors had a big dinner before heading back to Miyagi. The atmosphere was nice and light, everyone had already shaken off the gloom of defeat and they were now laughing together and enjoying the food. It was moments like those that convinced Kageyama that this was more than a team, and more than he could’ve asked for. His insides grew heavy at the thought of not having Daichi, Suga and Asahi anymore. He knows he has more chances to go to Nationals and do better but…

_I wanted to go further with_ this _team. _

He turns to look at coach Ukai, and recognizes that same sadness in his eyes. He almost looks like he wants to say something. For some reason, Ukai keeps thinking back at the time were he would spent his days sitting by the register on the shop, flipping a magazine and having a smoke; all while ignoring Takeda as he came day in and day out to try to convince him to coach the team. His mother would often bother him with marriage, and he never pictured himself being a parent, but in the span of a schoolyear he had adopted 12 kids and he had heard them calling him and Takeda an “old married couple” more than once. 

“You boys…” he murmured, without realizing that everyone on the table was looking at him. When he became aware of the attention he thought of brushing it off, but knew fighting them was no use. So he continued. “You boys have made me the happiest man and I could never thank you enough for that.” 

Jesus Christ, what the hell was he saying. He was 26 goddammit. Maybe he shouldn’t have drunk so much. He hid his face behind his hand because he was too scared to see their reactions, regretting ever opening his mouth, but then he immediately had to look up when he heard a sob across the table. Suga was crying, drying his tears sheepishly but smiling widely at the same time. He apologized under his breath, and Ukai suddenly felt like an idiot for not telling all of them how much they meant to him more often. And because they were just that connected, the second Suga started to cry Daichi found himself sobbing as well. 

The boys who were sitting besides the two captains made it their task to give them comforting nudges, and even those on the other side of the table leaned in to place their palms against them. Ukai noticed the tight grip Daichi had on Suga’s hand and couldn’t help but smile. The kid had been the best captain than he had ever hoped for. He had done so much for the team when Ukai wasn’t there, so it made sense that the heavy atmosphere of goodbye was getting to him. 

“You made a great captain, Daichi.” Takeda said, his eyes also tearing up slightly. Ukai was glad he said the words he had trapped on his throat and couldn’t get out. It felt like there were a lot of things that needed to be said, but at the same time it made it seem like they were never going to see each other again, which just wasn’t true. 

They all came to the silent agreement of putting their sudden nostalgic gloom aside and enjoy each other’s company for the night before they had to be trapped in the train back home. Once they left the restaurant, Ukai found himself trapped in the middle of a group hug once again, and to be perfectly honest and threatening to be incredibly cheesy, that was his new favorite place to be: enveloped in his kids’ arms. 

.

Asahi stared at himself in the mirror, adjusting his uniform’s collar for what felt like the fifth time. He got his hands halfway up to mess with his already styled hair, and he would have undone his bun had Daichi not stopped him. He sighed in defeat, deciding to rub his face instead of ruining the hairstyle Suga had worked so hard on getting down to perfection. 

“Can we leave now? Asahi is going insane.” He commented to Suga, who was mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He really was going insane there in Daichi’s room where all he could do was stare at himself and try to find things that needed to be fixed, which there were none. 

“You want to go and sit around school?” Suga answered, not even glancing up. “It’s not time yet.” 

“Then why did we get ready so early?” Asahi wondered out loud, knowing what the answer would be. 

“Because of you!” his two friends said, with that creepy synchronization they had sometimes. It was true that Asahi couldn’t bear to be at his own home so he had forced Suga to come with him to Daichi’s house, thinking the company would be good for him in that moment. Then he had insisted they get ready with plenty of time in advance in hopes of easing his restlessness, but there he stood left with no other option but to wait. 

“It’s okay dude, really.” Daichi said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and shaking him a little. “Think of it as just a ceremony. They’re just giving you a piece of paper, no big deal.” 

“Yeah, the piece of paper we’ve worked our asses off to get.” He argued. By voicing his worries out loud sometimes he got his friend’s reasoning and it would make sense to his panicked-shaken brain. Right now he doubted his mind would listen to anything the guys said, his heart wouldn’t stop beating in his ears and his leg was bouncing up and down out of his control. 

“Exactly.” Suga offered, shooting him a soothing glance. He was always quite good with those. “Now we did it, it’s over, you don’t have to worry about it anymore.” 

“Now I have to worry about so many other things though.” Asahi sighed defeatedly, letting himself drop on the bed, wishing the blankets would swallow him so he wouldn’t have to exist anymore. “And then when those things are done, I’ll have even _more_ and so I’ll just worry my entire life until I die.” 

“Yeah.” Suga murmured, nodding solemnly as if he was resigning to his fate. Daichi was mortified. 

“Come on you two!” he tried to cheer them up, his voice jumping into a tone that made him sound like an exasperated mother. Asahi caught Suga fighting off a smile by pursing his lips. “It’s our graduation day and you’re not gonna ruin it with your existential crisis.” 

“Oh no, Asahi!” Suga fake-whimpered, shaking his arm like a distressed damsel. “Our deep emotional anguish is inconvenient to Daichi! Whatever will we do??” 

“I hate both of you.” Daichi grumbled, crossing his arms but letting laughter bubble up his throat. The two of them huddled around Asahi and rested their heads on his abdomen, lounging like a couple of cats leaning on each other for what felt like hours. To say that Asahi was nervous about graduating was an understatement. He was fairly sure Suga had teased him already because “_if he’s this worried about a high school diploma, imagine the meltdown he’s gonna have when he gets married._”

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly wrong but thinking so far ahead in his life often gave him a headache he preferred not to deal with. Asahi knew he had no reason to be so concerned. Sure, it was an important day, and he could see it as the reward for all the hard work he had put in the entire year, juggling the volleyball team and his schoolwork and still managing to not go insane. That alone could be considered a victory. Besides, it wasn’t like his friends were going to disappear the minute he was officially done with high school, but still something weighted heavy on the back of his throat and made breathing feel all funny. 

When it was finally a reasonable time to head to school, the three of them got up and did a final check of their clothes and possessions. Before they stepped out the door, Asahi pulled them both into a hug and held them against him for a minute. He felt his friends hugs him back without saying a word, and it was weirdly comforting. He knew he was getting emotional way too soon, but deep down he knew he needed to be reassured. They could do this; they had gone through so many things that were far more difficult than this. They were going to sit for an excruciating amount of time in the school gym, watching all their classmates pass, they were going to have a ribbon pinned on their suit jackets and handed a diploma, and then it would be over. They could definitely do this. 

For the last time in his high school career Asahi suffered the curse of having a last name that began with an A. He was sitting on the second row while his two friends were in the back probably snickering to each other. Or saying something disgustingly cheesy. He tried not to think too hard about the whole situation, and the best strategy he came up with was wondering what Noya was doing. He would probably be waiting for him outside with the others, and he would get to see his insanely beautiful cat eyes looking up at him, probably with a playful smirk, and he would tease him about being a ball of nerves over a title he absolutely deserved. 

The ceremony goes rather smoothly, and he isn’t too bored waiting for his entire promotion to pass. When they finally come out of the gym, the team is there expecting them and ready to give them all hugs and congratulations. It was Noya and Tanaka who insisted they had a party, because how could they let their senpais go straight home after their graduation? So the chaotic duo organized a dinner party in Tanaka’s family restaurant, had balloons and decorations hanging from the ceiling, and most importantly a huge arrange of food. 

It was almost like they were celebrating another won match instead of saying goodbye to half the team. It was concerning how often they found themselves all together on situations like this. But it was rather nice to see all of them in dress shirts because they needed to _take this seriously! It’s a ceremony!_ Noya’s words, apparently. 

Coach Ukai and Takeda sensei were there as well, and the teacher was practically beaming. 

“God I’m so proud of you!!” he said, smiling so brightly his eyes creased slightly. Suga caught coach Ukai looking at him fondly for just a second. 

“Who would have thought Daichi would actually pass modern lit??” Tanaka exclaimed, which prompted Daichi to throw a peanut at him. 

“It wasn’t _that_ hard… right?” Takeda scoffed, pushing his glasses up. He was met with a very ironic sounding _of course not sensei!_ Which only made him laugh under his breath. 

“Oof, I wouldn’t want to be your student.” Ukai teased him, and the teacher poked his side in revenge. “I was no good at Japanese literature. Never understood any of it.” 

“Well you can focus on your job instead of complaining about mine.” Takeda answered, which only prompted the general noise to go up in volume. 

“Yeah, please keep coaching the team.” Suga said sincerely, holding his chin up with one hand, while the other was under the table holding Daichi’s. “We might be gone, but these guys aren’t.” 

“Oh I would never quit.” Ukai reassured them, and then flashed a cheeky smile towards Takeda. “As much as I would like this one chasing after me again, I think I’ll stick around.” 

Takeda sensei crossed his arms and tried to look offended, but he was betrayed by the blush that invaded his cheeks. While half the team whooped, Suga gave Daichi a knowing look, and the captain pinched his nose affectionately. 

“Can everyone stop being disgusting for a second? Thanks.” Noya suggested, bringing a glass to his lips and completely unaware of Tanaka’s intention right as he finished the sentence. 

“You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re not sitting next to Asahi.” He added, making Noya choke on his drink and cough as everyone laughed around him. He shot him a poisonous look and Tanaka pretended to die over his noodles. 

“Simmer down children, control yourselves.” Coach Ukai said, but looked like he was the one that was enjoying their banter the most. Eventually, as the night went on and the food was long since gone, everybody started saying their goodbyes. It was an ordeal, the heavy atmosphere taking over once again. They promised to stick around during summer, but deep down they knew it was going to be hard to go back to school the next year and not see them there. The graduates went back home to celebrate with their own families, and the others started dispersing as well. Hinata gave Kageyama a look, and for a second they seemed to be communicating telepathically. They left the restaurant together, agreeing without saying a word. 

The one that lingered the most was Nishinoya. He kept founding new things to do, wiping the already clean tables, organizing the glasses again, fiddling with the chairs. Asahi watched him fidget for a moment, before taking his hand softly to stop him from straightening the tablecloth once more. Noya sighed, not looking at him. The restaurant was almost completely empty, but the laughter and warmth of their friends was still present somehow. Both Noya and Asahi needed some air, so they went out the back door and stood around in the dark street. 

The road was rather desolated, with the only source of light being the yellowish lamps. Asahi could see Noya’s breath, but his face was obscured by the shadows. Now that everything had quieted down, Asahi felt the weight of the day on his shoulders. He had no idea how Noya was feeling, but to him it was a day that held too many implications. He was leaving so many things behind, and he had the sudden realization that Noya thought he was one of those. 

“So it’s over, huh?” he said, wrapping his arms around himself. Asahi felt his heart clench at just how resigned he sounded. 

“Don’t say that.” He murmured, letting his shoulders drop. He was exhausted, he wanted to just faceplant on his bed and wake up with everything sorted out, but he wasn’t that lucky. 

“I’m sorry, I’m making it worst.” Noya laughed bitterly, still not looking at him. “It’s just… I feel like we wasted so much time being mad at each other for stupid things, and then not talking about how we felt, and now you’re leaving. I just wished we’d had more time.” 

It was always that, wasn’t it? When it came to them, it was always wishing things had gone a different way, that they hadn’t said those words, that it had lasted a bit more. But at the same time, the few months he had Noya by his side had been the happiest Asahi had ever been. Even with all the troubles, the hardships and everything in between, being with Noya was something that had changed his life for the better. Then again, he couldn’t just keep regretting every single one of his bad choices, instead he should start making better ones. 

His first better decision was to stop second-guessing himself, and even if it was absolutely terrifying, he gathered the courage to say: 

“I love you, you know that?” he placed his hand under Noya’s chin to look him in the eye, to let him know he was sincere. He had to watch those eyes that charmed him so much fill with tears, and it was almost like they were on that roof top again. Noya was speechless for a few heartbeats, feeling the weight of Asahi’s words come down on him like a waterfall. 

“I-I love you too.” He answered, struggling to keep his breathing in check. Asahi gave him a little fond smile and it seemed they could stay there forever, without a care in the world. Time stopped moving forward to capture them in their moment, to let them have it for as long as they stood there under a streetlamp. “And I’m gonna miss you, so fucking much.” 

Asahi pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and held him still for a long while, breathing him in. It hurt, and yet it was so beautiful. They didn’t speak any further, just basked in the other’s company for as long as they could. Things were going to change; they couldn’t really do much about it. Noya was going to become a third year that the others looked up to, and Asahi was probably going to go out and look for his place in a much bigger world. They would have to find a way to make it work, to fit the little edges of their lives together, but for once Asahi wasn’t really afraid. He had Noya, and even if it was for that small moment, embraced in the middle of the night, he swore it was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!!  
here's a new chapter in our boys' story :)  
hope you like it and thank you again for all the support <3


	36. Until morning comes

Suga wasn’t exactly excited to leave the restaurant, but he wasn’t about to drag Daichi with him, who actually had a reason to go back home. He had known that his parents weren’t going to be in town that weekend, they had always travelled a lot, he had already come to terms with it, convinced himself it wasn’t a big deal; but it didn’t mean he was fond of the idea of going to his empty house and being alone after he was warmed by the company of his friends. 

When everyone else had either left or were in another group, Daichi took it upon himself to wrap one arm around Suga’s waist and pull him in to kiss him thoughtfully. Suga smiled against his lips, bringing one hand up to rest on his jaw and keep them intertwined. They were standing in the middle of the emptied restaurant, but it felt like he intended to have him for hours. Suga still wondered how Daichi managed to make him feel so wanted, so peaceful and bothered at the same time, all with an action that was nothing but a kiss goodbye. 

Suga walked back to his house slowly, hands buried deep in his pockets and head hung low. His heart felt like a heavy weight on his chest, pressing down on him. He shouldn’t feel so bitter, and he would be the first to admit that walking by himself so late at night wasn’t helping his melancholy. He kicked off his dress shoes at the door and didn’t bother to turn on the lights, going directly to his room. He roamed for what felt like hours, standing and sitting as he searched maniacally for something to distract his mind. Who would have thought that having absolutely nothing to do would drive him this crazy? 

What was he supposed to do all summer? 

His rambling thoughts were interrupted by his phone’s ding, the screen lighting up the whole room. He rushed to see what it was, and was met by his favorite type of text to receive. 

_Dad-ichi69: you up?_

He realized just how late it was, but he was sure he wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon. He wondered if Daichi had found himself in a similar situation: things had finally settled down and he was alone in his room with his thoughts. 

_Amazing_Koushi: yeah. How was the family dinner?_

_Dad-ichi69: good. Tiring, but good. I dont think Ive ever eaten as much as today ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ How about you?_

Suga bit his lip and stared at the ceiling, holding the phone to his chest. He hadn’t told Daichi about his parents being away because he _knew_ it would only make him worry, and he wanted Daichi to enjoy their graduation day as much as possible. Now however, he couldn’t exactly construct a lie for the sake of his partner’s tranquility. He wouldn’t lie to him either way. 

_Amazing_Koushi: my parents couldn’t make it, so Im on my own. Havent done anything interesting_

_Dad-ichi69: what?? Why didnt you tell me? _   
_Dad-ichi69: Want me to come over? I can still catch the last bus_

He didn’t deserve someone like Daichi. Who else was willing to drop everything just because he was feeling blue? Sometimes being loved so intensely was overwhelming, like he didn’t know what to do with so much kindness and devotion. He knew it was selfish, but the idea of having Daichi in his arms overcame his doubts. 

_Amazing_Koushi: yeah... but I dont want your mom n dad to get mad tho. _

_Dad-ichi69: theyre both sound asleep. A bit too much wine lol. Be there soon _

Suga couldn’t help but smile. He gave himself permission to fantasize, to imagine Daichi running dramatically through the empty streets to reach him, him looking out the balcony to see him arrive like some kind of prince fallen from heaven. What actually happened was that when he opened the door Daichi was standing there panting, looking like he had been caught in a sudden burst of rain, but smiling like a fool. Suga was quick to pull him into a hug, not minding the wet clothes. He chuckled with a raspy voice and Suga felt the sound resonate in his chest, making him hum. As wildly perfect as his fantasies were, he would take this over them any day, having Daichi pressed against him in an empty hallway, softly rocking side to side. It felt so mundane and so quiet that he doubted it was real. 

The loud sound of thunder made Daichi almost jump out of his skin, breaking the solemn silence and sending Suga into a fit of laughter. He kissed the pout on Daichi’s lips and struggled to stop giggling. In no time they were up in his room, Suga throwing himself face first on the bed while Daichi sat down next to him more gently. He started massaging the tension out of Suga’s shoulders, kneading his muscles with his thumbs. 

“See I was thinking…” Suga started mumbling, lost in the feeling. “What if we ran away, like packed a little bit and just… go. How long would it take to find us?” 

“Wait, are you telling me my fantasy is a domestic college life and yours is for us to be runaways?” Daichi laughed, letting himself fall besides his partner. 

“Tell me it wouldn’t be exciting.” Suga replied, bumping their noses together. “Jumping from train to train.” 

“It would take maybe a day before you got hungry and wanted to go back home.” He said, trying to suppress a smile when Suga gasped indignantly. 

“Are you saying our love wouldn’t be enough to sustain us?” he whined, rolling over and staring at Daichi with an accusing eye. He rolled his eyes and threw an arm over him, naturally resting over his middle. They looked at each other for a couple of heartbeats, the room was filled with shadows and the rain was now thundering outside. Daichi gently put a stray strand of Suga’s hair behind his ear, lingering on his cheek.

“We’re gonna be alright.” He reassured. Their faces were so close Suga could feel the breath of those words. He sighed, closing his eyes. 

“I know.” He murmured, placing a hand on Daichi’s chest, feeling his steady pulse. “I’m just feeling a bit lost right now.” 

“It’s okay, I’m here.” Daichi kissed his head, scooting even closer to him. Suga buried his face in the crook of his neck, Daichi squirming slightly when his breath tickled his skin. He could feel Suga smiling against him. 

“Can we be a disgusting couple for like, a little while?” he suggested, and Daichi wasn’t sure if he was joking completely. Suga was always finding new and more clever ways to escape when he needed to, maybe this was just another outing from his rumbling thoughts. Not that he was complaining. 

“How disgusting?” he asked, playing along. “Do you want me to profess my undying love for you? Tell you you’re the light that guides my way?” at that Suga snorted and his shoulders shook with laughter. “My muse? My everything?” 

“Stop it!” Suga complained, but didn’t try to get away from him. Daichi could almost feel the heat of his blush. “How can I be so many things, Daichi? Not likely.” 

“Please.” He scoffed, letting his fingers trail down his back. “You always try to be what people need. Always kind, always caring.” 

“And what is it that do you need, Dai?” Suga said softly, trying to ignore the sudden blood rush in his ears. How typical of them, to be joking around one second and then murmuring to each other deeply the next. Daichi stayed silent for a moment, as if pondering the question. 

“I need you to be you. Not who you think you should be for others, or even for me.” He answered, and Suga propped himself up on his elbow to look at him. Daichi returned the look and his eyes were calm and sincere, soothing in a way that felt almost reserved for Suga and no one else. Daichi gave just the ghost of a smile, and Suga was tempted to look away. Ever since the day they confessed to each other, Daichi had been wearing his heart in his sleeve and sometimes it would be too raw to look directly. Suga had a hard time admitting that that kind of love he saw so clearly in his partner’s eyes terrified him, simply because the thought of that love ever burning out and disappearing was enough to bring tears to his eyes. 

He knew it was foolish- after all, it was the first he had been in love. Then again, in the 18 years he had been alive, there hadn’t been anyone besides Daichi. Sometimes it felt like he had skipped the part of adolescence of just fooling around, figuring out what he liked, who he was, being wild and unbothered; but deep down he knew that wasn’t really what he wanted, or needed for that matter. Even if he felt like he had been acting like an adult for quite a while, he wasn’t even twenty yet. 

Just living in general proved to be harder than he initially thought. 

“Suga?” he was snapped out of his trance by Daichi’s voice. He must have zoned out because he sounded quite concerned. He tried to play it off with a smile, rubbing the frown off his face. 

“Sorry.” He whispered, pressing his lips against his tenderly. “No more distractions.” 

Suga felt Daichi’s grip on his hips tighten as he pressed for a much more eager kiss. He wanted to stop thinking so damn much, to be embraced by such love instead of being scared of it. They held each other, mouths pressing together for what seemed like an eternity, the seconds crawling slowly as they felt each other. Suga’s hand came up to loosen Daichi’s collar, tentatively undoing the top buttons and sliding his hand through the opening, running his fingertips on the tender skin, daring to go a little further, to see a little more of the person he was madly in love with. Daichi’s own hands seemed to be itching to go under his shirt, to run over the figure he had seen so many times yet didn’t consider himself worthy of having it this way. Suga sighed contently at Daichi slowly kissing his jaw and down his neck, his skin growing warmer and warmer with each lingering touch of his lips, knowing the contact held so much passion and adoration took his breath away. 

Daichi seemed to be in complete bliss, lazily running his mouth over Suga’s collarbone. He could feel the heat radiating off of his lover in waves, waves that matched the slow rhythm of his broad hands lovingly tracing the lines of his body. He let himself be consumed by the feeling of their bodies melting together, fitting perfectly against one another, letting himself feel the pleasant burn in his insides. 

“God I love you…” Suga half-moaned, their mouths still connected, feeling the comforting weight of his partner over him, his hands and tongue sending sparks down his spine. What he treasured most in the little private corner of his mind was Daichi smiling against his lips as he whimpered softly. Nothing else existed outside of their embrace, time didn’t matter in the slightest. It was like a hazy dream that clouded their minds and gave them a high unlike anything they had ever felt before. It was only fitting for them to fall asleep while still intertwined and covered in sweat, eyes fluttering shut with a nice sort of tiredness. Daichi caught Suga’s lopsided smile before he too drifted away from consciousness, finding a place of peace in resting his head in the crook of his lover’s neck. 

They stayed like that, together, like they were always meant to be; and they would stay as such, at least until morning comes. 

.

Hinata had already admitted that he and Kageyama had a particular way of showing they cared for each other. Their outings tended to be unconventional and they got side-tracked a lot by the tiniest things. Sometimes he wondered if they could hold a conversation that didn’t end in some kind of competition. Outside of volleyball, it was hard for Hinata to stay focused for too long a time, and Kageyama had grown to learn the ins and outs of his attention so they always circled back to playing. Not that he was complaining. 

The guy was so whipped for Hinata that when he suggested they do a late-night practice session right after the celebration (where they had all but stuffed their faces), he didn’t even question it. He waited around in the empty park, kicking the rocks off the made-shift court as he waited for Hinata to come back. He had all but ran back to his house to retrieve a ball, and it was almost like Kageyama could hear his little steps approaching in the distance. There were a number of reasons why training in that moment wasn’t the greatest of ideas; it was dark, the terrain was uneven, the net looked like one hit of the ball would make it fall apart, they were still wearing their semi-formal clothing… Kageyama knew all this, and yet he had felt a strange flutter in his stomach when Hinata had pulled him aside to whisper the idea into his ear. 

Hinata panted as he ran back to the park, ball safely tucked under his arm and backpack bouncing with his pace. He saw Kageyama come into view and flashed him a quick smile before playfully spiking the ball towards him. The setter caught it with expert hands and sighed contently. He watched him start doing over hand passes with himself as he got his sneakers out of his bag and started changing his shoes. He didn’t think it was fair with Kageyama if he brought a whole attire to change into, but he did need the proper shoes to do run ups. Kageyama would be fine with his, he wasn’t moving that much when setting either way. 

The night air was chilly, but in no time Hinata had to roll his sleeves up and wipe sweat off his brow. When they practiced together they rarely spoke, their mental connection enough to communicate anything they needed to let the other know. However, that line was completely shattered when Kageyama stopped for a small break and all but started unbuttoning his shirt. 

Hinata almost choked on the water he was drinking and had to look away from the sight before his face could melt and render him into a puddle on the ground. He didn’t know why it got him so flustered, they had changed in the same room countless times, but apparently there was something about Kageyama under the moonlight, skin gleaming with a sheer film of sweat, hastily undoing the buttons of his shirt in an attempt to escape the heat of their workout. Hinata prayed Kageyama hadn’t noticed how bothered he was. Would it be too dramatic to dump the water bottle over his head? 

Another part of him was convinced that there was no need to be so flustered, after all Kageyama was his… boyfriend? That sounded a bit weird to him. Suga and Daichi were boyfriends, for sure, but they were nothing like them. Noya and Asahi had been dancing around each other for a while now and Hinata wasn’t sure where they stood, but it was different as well. He and Kageyama were partners, they spent an awful amount of time with each other and sometimes Kageyama would kiss him on the lips. What mattered was that they were together, and things were clear between them. He wondered exactly what Kageyama thought about the whole deal, but the fact that he had been so happy lately (in a way Hinata had learned to see through little gestures) comforted him and assured him it was okay. 

They continued practicing, filling the empty park with the sound of the ball hitting their palms and the rough floor. They had started doing a who-can-jump-higher competition disguised as blocking practice, which then turned into Hinata trying to break through Kageyama’s block. The setter was pleased to feel the power behind Hinata’s spike, but around the fifth time he was pressing his palms together in an attempt to soothe the burn he felt. Hinata saw him waver and dropped the ball, ducking under the net to join him. 

“Something wrong with your hand?” he asked, taking one of his wrists softly and turning it to see his palm. It was broad, and much bigger than Hinata’s, his fingers were long and his nails manicured. Kageyama had always had rough hands, calloused by hours and hours of training, but the skin seemed particularly strained and pinkish. Hinata traced the lines delicately, looking up for any sign of pain, and was met with a slight flinch. 

“Nah, I’m okay.” he said, but Hinata didn’t seem convinced. He knew it wasn’t a complete lie; and normally he had no reservation using every ounce of force he had, Kageyama would get bitchy if he didn’t, but now he could see the hesitation in his eyes. He could understand it, Kageyama would be hesitant too if he had to blow through his partner’s hand when they looked like that. 

“You have been blocking powerful shots lately.” Hinata said, and he supposed he was right. The last few matches had been tougher on their bodies, going to nationals for the first time and experiencing that kind of rhythm had taken a toll, but he never expected his hands to get this hurt. With his fingers being pushed back with the force of a spike again and again, it was surprising he hadn’t at least sprained one. 

“Yeah, I guess I’m just sore.” He tried to brush it off, but Hinata wasn’t letting go. He really didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, he had injured his hands before, just that now there was someone who worried about it more than he did. 

“Have you tried taping your fingers?” Hinata suggested, making them both sit on the ground, pulling his backpack towards himself and rummaging through it. 

“I don’t like it…” Kageyama murmured, rubbing a particularly sore spot in his hand. He’d always felt like contact was extremely important when it came to setting, he was touching the ball for less than a second so he needed to have as much grasp on it as he could. He had seen amazing setters use tape, but for him it would just get in the way. 

“Come on, just for now.” He pushed, his tone insistent. “I don’t want you to sprain a finger.” 

“Fine.” He huffed, and Hinata seemed a little too glad to have gotten away with his little scheme. He took out some tape that Kageyama didn’t even know he had, and scooted closely to him. Kageyama reluctantly placed one of his hands in front of him so Hinata could take it. It didn’t even cross his mind to tell Hinata that he could do it himself, it felt only natural to let him do it. 

“Since when do you know how to do this?” Kageyama asked, watching him as he worked. “I’ve never seen you taping your fingers before.” 

“I just know things.” He answered vaguely, and Kageyama rolled his eyes at his antics. Would Hinata someday stop being so full of surprises? They fell silent, Hinata had a concentrated pout on his lips as he carefully wrapped the tape around Kageyama’s fingers one by one, making sure it stuck properly and leaving the joints untouched. Kageyama could only watch, completely mesmerized by the scene, even with the simplicity and mundanity of it all, he felt his chest tighten up with unshed emotion. It was like he suddenly became aware of every little turn in his way that had led him to be there, in an empty park sitting on the ground with the person he would do anything for. It was like being trapped in a spiral of thought once again, the mere idea of Hinata not being there for him leaving him breathless. It must have been extremely easy for Hinata to hate him, to take him for another condescending jerk and leave him being nothing more than that; and yet there he was, with a bond that he didn’t think could be real, tenderly taking care of him and all he could think of was…

“I love you.” Kageyama said, the words tumbling out of his mouth without his control. He felt his heart stop for a long second when Hinata froze completely, still holding his hand. Then his head snapped up to look at him with the most hopeful eyes Kageyama had ever seen, so radiant and so bright even in the darkness of the night that he had to turn his head away. All he could hear was the roar of blood rushing through him, hitching his breathing and clouding his brain. Hinata tried to say something but the words got caught in his throat, and all he ended up doing was blinking dumbfoundedly and gapping pathetically. Kageyama had already gotten up and was staring at his shoes. 

“I’m sorry- I… I was just- I’m sorry.” Kageyama stuttered, feeling his knees grow weak, but Hinata was quick to not let him escape. 

“Tobio…” he whispered, his voice getting lost in the wind and Kageyama had to pretend the fondness of his tone didn’t threaten to make his heart beat out of his chest. 

“I’m sorry okay! I-I-I shouldn’t have said that like that, let’s just-” he exclaimed, a bit more desperately. He obviously wasn’t taking those words back, it was just that for Kageyama, saying them was the equivalent of jumping off a cliff without being sure he’d survive. And right then and there he felt himself falling and was starting to panic. Hinata placed a warm hand on his cheek, pulling him close as if he were going to kiss him, and he stared into those eyes with full-blown pupils almost eclipsing the deepest of blues. 

“I love you too.” Hinata assured him, a playful smirk pulling at his lips, Kageyama was able to catch tiny tears forming in his eyes but not really spilling. He closed the space between them to crash their lips together, as if that were the only way to escape the void inside him. He kissed him like one of their many promises, to be by his side for as long as he wanted him to, to share everything he would let him have, a promise to love him until his last breath. 

When they separated Hinata was gasping for breath, clutching onto Kageyama’s biceps for support, since his trembling legs weren’t doing much. Kageyama had his hands firmly wrapped around his waist, perfectly fitted against his frame, and he held him there for a couple heartbeats. It was Hinata’s nervous giggle that broke the silence, and he saw the playful smirk that bloomed in Kageyama’s lips. They basked in each other’s presence for a while, the ball forgotten at their feet. 

They continued practicing, Kageyama continuously scrunching his nose at the feeling of the tape but he never took it off. He blatantly ignored the first few drops that fell on his head, he wanted to stay there and keep playing, wanted to treasure the moment and have it last for as long as he could. There was something mesmerizing about simply sharing something they were both so passionate about, knowing their hearts beat in synch for the thrill of the game and… maybe for other reasons as well. 

Hinata shrieked when a sudden burst of rain fell on them like a mantle, but two seconds later he was laughing and raising his head to feel the water stream down his face. He was then, extremely beautiful, and Kageyama barely managed to keep himself from screaming it to the winds. 

Maybe coming to play volleyball in an empty park past midnight was the best decision they took that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :)  
sorry this chapter took so long, I wanted to have this one and the next ready back to back  
it's almost done! the next one will be long, and surely the last of this series  
thank you so much for your support and stay safe! <3


	37. Still very much a family

“Guys, hurry up we’re going to be late!” Asahi spoke into the phone while pacing around his one-room flat. There was little place to go, but he still kept walking back and forth in an attempt to calm his nerves.

_“Do you want us to like, run some people over and ignore every red light so we get there faster?_” Suga answered, his voice sounding irritatingly calm. Asahi heard Daichi laugh in the background.

“Are you going the speed limit?” he insisted, knowing full well they would go about that conversation in circles. Maybe the voice of his friends helped his anxiety. “I know Daichi drives like a grandma.”

“_Excuse me!_” He heard him exclaim, a little far from the speaker before Suga probably placed the phone closer to his face. “_I abide by the law! And I’m so sorry my car is shitty, but it’s taking your ass places, so you better show some respect._”

“_He’s gotten better._” Suga said, drowning out the sound of Daichi still rambling about it. “_Besides, remember that time you made us get ready like 3 hours in advance for-_”

“Would you let that go?!” Asahi exclaimed, rolling his eyes but not feeling as mortified as all the other times they had brought that up. Which were many. And for the record, it wasn’t 3 hours, they just liked to exaggerate, and Asahi was fairly sure they’d changed that number more times than he cares to count.

“_So now you have to chill, Asahi._” Daichi said. “_And remember we said you could freak out when you get married, and to my knowledge that day isn’t today._”

“_Unless??_” Suga cut in, making them both laugh and Asahi groan. Those two had become ever more insufferable with the years. Asahi swore they hadn’t aged a day because they still acted like dumb teenagers sometimes. Maybe he wanted Daichi specially to behave that way and drive a little faster, but oh well.

“I should have cut ties with you after high school.” He said, rubbing his forehead and throwing himself over his bed, his feet hanging out the bottom.

“_But ya didn’t!_” they both yelled over the phone with that creepy synchronization they still had. Asahi decided to drop it and just sighed in defeat. They left him on the line, listening to whatever song they were playing on the aux cord. He felt the anticipation building in his chest, but for the time being he had nothing else to do than wait for his friends to arrive. He felt like they were simply hanging out after school again, had it really been that long? It certainly didn’t feel like it.

But time had indeed gone by, because when Asahi trotted down the stairs to meet Suga and Daichi, they weren’t tender teens anymore. Daichi was somehow bigger, broader and definitely older. Suga had his hair cut short and seemed to be even more mature looking than he was at 18. Asahi wondered if others would tell him he changed somewhat as well, because when he looked in the mirror, apart from the glasses now perched on his nose, he thought he looked exactly the same. Same long hair and goatee, same long limbs and same bothersome height that forced him to duck down to get on trains. He plopped down on the backseat and started lightly bantering with them, sharing stories from the time that had passed since the last time they saw each other (which wasn’t even that long ago), and suddenly it was like they were kids again. Some things had changed, and some others clearly hadn’t.

Much to Asahi’s delight, they arrived at the stadium just in time to see warmups, all despite Daichi’s cautious driving and the small car that wouldn’t go very fast. Still, they managed to take their seats as the teams were filling in down below. Asahi’s heart was beating unreasonably fast, he was twisting his hands together as he scanned all the players in search for a familiar face.

“Man, it’s been a while since we were on a court huh.” Daichi commented, one of his arms thrown casually over Suga’s shoulders. He frowned at the players down below. “And we weren’t that jacked. Just scrawny kids.”

“I don’t know, you were looking pretty thick back then.” Suga teased with a smirk, lightly slapping a hand on Daichi’s thigh. He immediately went red in the face and his partner just started to laugh.

“Jesus Christ.” Asahi breathed out. Just when he thought he was used to his friends’ antics; they pulled some shit like this. He had to admit it was pretty amusing, but it took a certain kind of patience to experience it as regularly as he did. It made him wish he could bring his own partner along more often, another part of him laughed because he had spent his entire high school life third-wheeling these two and there they were back at it again almost six years later.

“Wait, holy shit.” Daichi stopped messing around with Suga for a moment to stare directly at a congregation of players, squinting slightly. “Isn’t that…?”

“Kageyama???” Suga completed for him, eyes wide and leaning forward as much as he could without falling off the seat. Asahi followed their gazes but he only saw a bunch of people in uniforms, and then suddenly he was staring at a young man with a parted mane of black hair, and it’s like being slapped in the face. In so many aspects he still looks like the Kageyama he knew, and in some others it’s like he’s a completely different person. It’s honestly a little frightening.

“Of course he would be on high leagues as well.” Daichi continues, tilting his head to the side and examining him even from a distance. “I can’t imagine him doing anything else.”

“Do you think Hinata is on his team as well?” Asahi asks, a little dumbfounded. He didn’t expect to see another one of his old high school teammates.

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Suga says, leaning back once more. “We would have seen his orange hair from a mile away.”

“On the other hand…” Daichi smirked, elbowing Asahi on the ribs and nudging towards the court one again. “Looks like someone kept that tuff of blond even after all these years, huh?”

His eyes fall on the small figure running in and joining the others, and even if it’s been years since they first met, Asahi feels his breath leave him at the sight. Nishinoya is standing there with his hands on his hips, eyes focused on something else entirely, and Asahi can’t help but admire how good he looked with the different colored uniform, how it made him stand out among his teammates. Noya was still quite small even if he had grown a little, but his gaze and demeanor still had the sharpness of his high school days.

Asahi shouldn’t be as nervous as he was, their relationship had certainly matured along with them, so maybe it was just the fact that Noya didn’t know he was there at all.

After school Asahi had lingered for a short amount of time, not exactly sure about what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Noya was back in school and his two best friends were both busy with classes of their own, while Asahi was stuck in his room staring at the ceiling and feeling sorry for himself. It was almost like everyone around him was moving forward while he remained static, trapped. For a while it was long days of being miserable in the morning and then Noya would come over after school to make him company. He hadn’t exactly needed words of encouragement, simply the support he got from his partner was enough to disconnect his brain for a couple hours.

After that he had worked a few jobs here and there, he even worked at Coach Ukai’s family store at one point. When everything seemed to balance itself out and he felt more confident in what he wanted, then he decided to go to college. Noya was almost done with high school and had started to wonder what he was going to do as well. Asahi felt mostly relieved and only a little jealous when he simply said “all I know it how to play volleyball, so I guess I’ll keep doing that.”

Even as their lives took very different routes, they still kept each other as close as they could, even if sometimes the interaction of the day was a few minutes of a phone call before Noya had to get back to practice or Asahi had to study for a test. The time they did spent together was something Asahi kept close to his heart, cherishing the feeling of having Noya in his arms and being able to kiss him and hear his laugh. Their little meetings were mostly in town, but Noya had made it a habit to bring him along when he went out with his teammates, and of course had to embarrass him telling them all about how he used to be the ace in their high school team.

That day was Noya’s debut match with his new team, and Asahi couldn’t be prouder. He had made his way from the bottom tiers of volleyball and now he was in high leagues; Noya had made himself easily recognizable by his talents in such a specialized position as the libero. Now he was among the best players and also completely unaware that his boyfriend was sitting in the public.

In truth, Asahi wasn’t supposed to be there. It was one of those times when their schedules didn’t align at all, and the night before they had spoken on video call; Asahi had to see Noya rambling excitedly about the match before he gathered the courage to tell him that he was going to be busy with classes and couldn’t make it. Noya had then proceeded to convince Asahi that it was perfectly fine, as the other guy kept apologizing and feeling worse and worse. Even after he hung up Asahi couldn’t stop thinking about it, he tossed and turned unable to sleep. When he woke up in the morning, something came over him and the first thing he did was call Daichi 5 times until he answered with a “someone better be dying.”

He explained the situation instead and asked him if he could drive him to the game, that he would do anything to pay him back. Daichi’s dad had given him his old car and it wasn’t the best in the world, but it was Asahi’s only hope to get there in time since he decided to skip his lectures so last minute. Daichi’s condition was that Asahi had to buy them all tickets, which thankfully were still available. In his frenzy for making his very rushed poorly planned idea work, he had put off telling Noya he was coming until he was already sitting on the bleachers.

As some sort of sick joke from the universe, Noya stretched his arms over his head and dramatically looked up, doing a double take and then locking eyes with him. Asahi looked panicked, but the second he saw that stunning smile bloom on Noya’s lips, every ounce of worry melted away. It was like being caught in a trance, which he only snapped out of when Suga and Daichi started shoving him out of his seat so he could make his way down, letting Noya half-throw himself over the barrier to hug him.

He could only smile as Noya bounced on his feet and words just spilled from his mouth, making a few heads turn but surprisingly neither of them cared.

“I thought you couldn’t make it!!” he exclaimed, arms firmly locked around Asahi’s shoulders, making him lean down. “Were you lying to surprise me??”

“No! I just…” Asahi murmured, suddenly losing track of his thoughts. “I guess I just wanted to be here so badly. Couldn’t… bring myself to miss something so important.”

“Asahi, you sap!” he said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. His voice had gone up a few octaves and he seemed to be vibrating, Asahi knew he was already high from the prospect of playing, and it always amazed him to see such passion behind his eyes. He also knew that part of that sudden energy came from being nervous. “You’re gonna make everyone think you’re in love with me!”

“Have been since I was 17, Yuu.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Thanks for noticing.”

“Oh, Yuu?” Noya asked, raising a critical eyebrow. “You rarely call me that, Azumane.”

“Well I had to get your attention somehow.” Asahi pulled him in for another hug and felt his boyfriend squirm happily in his arms. “Come on, you need to warm up.”

“Will you be watching me?” He whispered in his ear, an involuntary chill making its way down his spine. This guy honestly, always knew exactly how to get under his skin.

“Yeah, always.” Asahi answered, watching as Noya walked back to his spot in the team but still looked at him.

“Then I’ll be sure to flex in your direction.” He said with a wink, maybe loud enough for others to hear so Asahi turned around and fled up the stairs as fast as he could, hiding his burning face behind his hair. He could hear Noya laughing and a nice warm feeling spread through his chest. It baffled him how he could feel so flustered after so long, but he internally hoped it never stopped.

.

Kageyama stretched, breathing slowly and feeling the familiar strain of the muscles up his arm and shoulder. His eyes were closed, focusing and keeping his mind silent. That kind of exercise would prove to be helpful with his hyper fixations, making him feel less overwhelmed when everything became too loud and bright. One sensation that he didn’t shut off was the feeling of his partner’s stare, constant and reassuring. He decided to steal a fleeting look, just to refresh the image in his mind.

Hinata was leaning over the railing, chin resting on his arms. He had a pout on his lips and was looking at him with fond eyes. He had a hoodie over his head to cover his bright orange hair, so he looked like any other face in the crowd. Both of them had agreed to try to not be seen together, at least in the very beginning. Even if it was supposed to be objective, sponsors and recruiters considered absolutely everything about players; and after Kageyama had been called to play professionally practically right after he finished high school, Hinata felt more comfortable keeping their relationship on the downlow so that he could build his own name with absolutely no bias.

They supported each other in silence and cherished their little moments away from any prying eyes, and it had also helped Kageyama make clear distinctions in his life. He loved Hinata as just “Tobio” rather than Kageyama the high league athlete, and they were both happy and content with how everything had turned out. Still, Kageyama had told him countless times that Hinata didn’t _need_ to come to every single one of his matches, and yet every time Hinata had a day off he would appear in a hoodie and sit silently in the bleachers, his cheering mixing with the general roar of the crowd.

“Noya’s on the other team.” Hinata was saying, keeping his voice low and pretending he was just a fan that wanted a closer look.

“I know.” Kageyama answered quickly, not looking at him directly and going about his business.

“I’m curious to see how he plays now. He was one of the best liberos in high school after all, match promises to be rather interesting.”

“I thought all my matches were interesting.” Kageyama teases him, letting a rare smirk pull at his lips for only a second. He heard Hinata scoff and could almost feel him rolling his eyes. “We’ll see.”

“Hey, come here.” Hinata whispered even lower, and Kageyama allowed himself a glance. He had a cheeky smile on his face and his arms were dangling from the railing. He raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he was doing. While they had managed to not raise any considerable suspicion, lately Hinata had been pushing the boundaries little by little, almost like they were playing a sick game, and Kageyama couldn’t fully deny he didn’t get at least a thrill out of it. Maybe Hinata was getting too much into the ‘secret lovers’ narrative. “Don’t you want a kiss for good luck?”

Kageyama’s stomach twisted with something that was both parts worrying and pleasant.

“I don’t need luck.” He replied smugly. Years of being with Hinata had made his answers to teasing sharper and faster. Some things never change, huh?

“Sure, but we both know you wouldn’t exactly do it for _luck_, would you?” Hinata said, tilting his head to the side to look innocent while he said such devilish things. Kageyama hoped his face wasn’t blushing, but Hinata’s evil giggles confirmed his fears.

“… not in front of everyone.” He murmured, wishing he still had his fringe to hide behind. He heard his partner click his tongue and laugh.

“You’re adorable.” He told him, flashing one of those stunning smiles that left Kageyama dumbfounded for a couple heartbeats.

“Grow up.” he said, not knowing he was falling right into a trap.

“More?” Hinata said instantly, standing up with his arms above his head. Kageyama could only roll his eyes, he had himself to blame for that one. Their little quarry about their height had never died down, Kageyama was satisfied with being just 2 cm off the 190s; but if anyone was proud of their physical growth was Hinata, who had gotten a full 10cm taller since high school, making him 172,2. He would bring it up at any given opportunity, they had a measuring tape on the wall of their apartment, it was crazy.

He gets closer in the least conspicuous way he can manage, and he’s not even completely over there when Hinata starts babbling nonsense like he usually does when he’s excited. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but since their little game had been going on for such a long time, it almost fills them with the thrill of breaking a rule.

“Are you actually gonna let me kiss you?” he hears him say. “Kageyama Tobio? Has a lover that isn’t a volleyball with googly eyes taped on? Oh the scandal!”

“Yeah no, I changed my mind.” Kageyama replies, resisting the urge to put his hand against Hinata’s face and push him back into the crowd. Even then he knew he would just come back like the stubborn guy he was.

“Noooo, come on.” He whined, giving him puppy eyes even if his expression was half-hidden by the hoodie. Kageyama sighed, looking around him and noticing everyone was going about their business and not paying attention. Even then, he knew there were cameras somewhere, there always were. Maybe he would find himself in a sport magazine soon, but oh well.

He ducked his head down and Hinata stood on his tip toes to give him a quick forehead kiss, to then dissolve into giggles and disappear back into the crowd. Kageyama let himself smile a bit and surprisingly, let his mind wander away as he continued his warmups, thinking about what Hinata and him could do after the match was over. Both of them had been awfully busy lately, only seeing each other in the early morning before they went out and when they would eventually collapse in bed at night. They also had early Saturday practices so they couldn’t go on a morning run like they used to back in high school. Maybe he would convince him to do that again, for old times’ sake.

He dissipates the thoughts with a shake of his head. As pleasant as they are, now he needs to focus. As he stands in front of the net along with his teammates, there’s a familiar face on the other side. Noya is giving him a cat-like grin and Kageyama can’t help but scoff. They both know what the other is thinking.

_Long time no see, pal. Long time no see._

.

The alarm blares in the comfortable silence of their room, receiving only displeased grunts as an answer. Daichi pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, trying to wipe away the tiredness that seemed to cling to his very soul. He should’ve had a stronger will to say _no, guys, I have to be up early tomorrow_. Instead he had let himself be carried away with the least amount of protesting, had let himself be easily persuaded into another drink, just another one, the last one I swear. Now he had a hammering headache and felt like he slept the grand total of 5 minutes. Even through the haziness, he can’t bring himself to regret it. It had been a while since they were all together like that, old high school friends always meant he’d get into trouble even if he was closer to 30 than to 17. Now that was a thought that had no business being in his head this early.

The biggest offender of breaking their supposedly mature demeanor was somehow sleeping soundly beside him. Daichi shook his shoulder lightly, watching as he frowned and tried to roll away from him. Daichi was now sitting up and had the sensibility to turn off the alarm, and he had to focus hard on not falling back down. He knew if he did that he would sleep right through the morning.

“Koushi…” he murmured, shaking him again, this time a little more insistently. “Wake up we gotta go…”

He didn’t want to go, he wanted to snuggle up against his partner and not worry about a thing, but they couldn’t exactly do that just yet. Suga whined and swatted his hand away as if Daichi had offended him directly by trying to wake him up so they could be on time.

“Five more minutes…” he complained, burying himself in the mess of blankets. Daichi was actually on his feet this time, hand pressed to his temple in an attempt to calm his headache while he pulled at the covers and Suga screeched at him.

“You know what happened last time you said that.” They had missed an entire day and woken up to various texts and calls from their classmates wondering where they were. Suga finally decided to at least sit up, eyes still closed and hair wild and sticking up everywhere. Daichi had seen him in the early morning glow countless times, and he still needed a few seconds to remember what he was doing.

He made himself busy by making breakfast and assessing the damage of them drunkenly stumbling through their place. Nothing was broken, at least. Suga emerged from their room, hair now wetly sticking to his head and rubbing his eyes sheepishly. Other than his evident discomfort of being awake at such an early hour, he looked practically untouched by the events of the night before. It was something Daichi had always envied.

Suga let himself fall harshly on one of their creaky chairs, yawning. Daichi placed a cup of coffee in front of him and leaned onto the wall, resting his head against the cold surface. He watched Suga bring the cup to his lips and take a sip, his eyes staring at nothing. In a way, Daichi’s fantasy had come true: he was a blink away from finishing college, he had a crappy apartment that made weird noises and had suspicious cracks, and Suga was sitting on the table (_their_ table) having breakfast just before leaving for his own lecture. But it hadn’t been easy, nor were things like they used to be. Daichi thought he knew Suga; what went on in his head, the ins and outs of his heart, every inch of his body. But even if it didn’t feel like it at the time, they were just kids. Didn’t know any better. Now, full flushed into their twenties, Daichi had seen Suga grow and he was sure his partner had done the same. He had felt his joy and winced at his pain; he had watched him grow into the man that he was today.

Their love for each other wasn’t the same either. It didn’t dull or diminish, but rather it matured alongside them. Daichi could see now how his feelings for Suga had evolved, remembers how he used to feel like he was burning from the inside out, how loving him was infatuating and maddening at times, how it lit every nerve in his body to the point he felt he was going to die if he didn’t do something about it. Now it felt more like a constant flame, warm and comfortably sitting in his chest. It was little moments like this, it was the security that Suga’s presence brought, knowing he hadn’t felt alone in a very long time and that was thanks to the guy sitting at the table wishing he was still asleep.

“Dai?” he heard him say, and looked over to see Suga with his hands wrapped around the mug and giving him a questioning look. He shook his head, dismissing the question.

“Sorry, I got a little distracted.” Distracted thinking about the complex web of decisions that had brought him here to share this specific moment with the love of his life. It was no big deal. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Suga said softly, blinking a couple of times and getting up. Even if their life was somehow repetitive, caught in the seemingly endless cycle of going to class, going to work, and getting home, Daichi could say he was content. They would spend the car ride humming along to some songs, maybe bickering about the amazingly terrible decision of letting Noya and Asahi rope them into being out so late, maybe planning a quiet escapade just for themselves. Daichi would park and walk alongside Suga up until they had to go to different buildings, Suga’s hold on his hand would linger slightly before kissing him lazily on the lips.

Daichi would watch him go, and that day he would think about how good Suga’s hand would look with a ring on his finger. Maybe, if he had the guts to do it, maybe one day he could have that sight. He chuckled to himself, burying his hands in his pockets and walking to class as that old familiar burning feeling settled in his chest. One day, definitely.

.

Hinata picked up the bundle of envelopes that had been lying on their doorstep for quite a long time now, regretting all those times they had consciously jumped over them instead of just picking them up. He passed quickly through the ones that didn’t seem too important at first glance, but then stopped suddenly. Kageyama was perched on the breakfast bar, filing his nails and blocking out everything else with the white noise of the TV. One of the soothing noises in the background was Hinata shuffling through the envelopes, so when it stopped, he looked over to see what had happened.

Hinata was frozen in place, staring down at his hands. Kageyama wondered if he had simply zoned out or if he was actually in shock. They had recently moved in together and even though Kageyama had spent half a lifetime with the other guy, living together meant he was discovering new quirks of him almost daily. Like how his feet were ice cold but he refused to wear socks because _that’s just weird, Kageyama_, and he had to put up with him pressing them against his calves when they were in bed, or how he would eat directly out of the pots and pans so he didn’t have to wash more dishes later, or how he could pick up a spider with his bare hands and put it outside without even flinching.

“Shouyou?” he asked, making sure his partner was still there. He was used to Hinata just randomly zooning out, and he had had to call him back to earth more than once. This time however, it was different. Hinata had a worried frown on his face and his eyes were going over the script on the envelope over and over again. Kageyama decided to get down and make his way to his side, to see just what seemed to catch his attention so much.

A fleeting sense of déjà vu invaded him as he stared at the logo they had seen a thousand times before.

Kageyama tried to remain logical, but a there was a weird pressure on his chest that just wasn’t sitting right. It only made sense, Japan’s league would want new players to replace those that were retiring now more than ever so they could start training for the Olympics. He looked at Hinata, who returned his gaze with eyes that he couldn’t read. They had both worked hard to get to where they were, a high league team that let them focus all their energy in volleyball. They had both being remarkable in their areas, Kageyama had been in the top setters of the country for years now, and Hinata was called a spiker that could fly and a jack-of-all-trades. But their dream was practically resting between his hands, and it was kind of ironic that they were frozen in place when their future had just been laid in front of them. One of their futures, at least. There was only one letter.

“It could be for both of us.” Kageyama tries to reason, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “We have the same address.”

“You know it isn’t.” Hinata tells him, slightly bending the corners of the envelope. Kageyama can’t really tell how he is feeling, his voice is practically neutral.

Hinata had already prepared himself to see Kageyama’s name when he flipped the envelope, he had even resigned to it. It only made sense, Kageyama had been in high leagues for way longer than he had, it would be strange for Hinata to be considered for Japan’s team rather than someone who had jumped into professional playing right after high school. Hinata had had to look for other means, to go to countless trials in hopes of landing at least one spot, he had worked himself up to where Kageyama was and now it was happening again, his partner was going to move one step forward and he was going to have to find a way to meet him.

When they had been competing for as long as they had, it was hard not to compare himself to Kageyama. After all those years Hinata had learned to not let it bother him, he had learned to praise his partner in his triumphs and successes even if it meant he was miles behind. Things had been going well, maybe too well. Maybe this was going to be another spark that lead to some more years of playful competitiveness. Hinata knew what it would mean to Kageyama to be called for Japan’s National team, he just didn’t know what it would mean for _them_, more so as a couple than anything else.

“I bet is for you.” He snickered, threatening to just flip it over and show Kageyama who it was addressed to.

“You can’t know that.” He replied, brushing his non-existent fringe out of his face. Hinata let a cheeky smile overcome his serious demeanor. Kageyama was nervous, it was like the training camp back in first year all over again.

“You wanna bet?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. He knew Kageyama could see through his jabs, he was simply trying to take the edge of the situation, and behind his calculating eyes he was deciding if he should play into it or not. “What’d you give me if it’s you?”

“I don’t know, whatever you want.” Kageyama answered, and deep down knew it was only to see what Hinata would ask. In the beginning it was less noticeable, but now Kageyama was fully aware of how much of a spoiled brat his partner was. It had started with him buying him ice cream back in high school, and then had escalated as they got older. He couldn’t completely blame Hinata, he was extremely lenient with him, his willpower reduced to nothing in sight of Hinata’s puppy eyes.

“Would you do the dishes for a month?” he said innocently, batting his eyelashes.

“Oh fuck no.” Kageyama shot him down quickly, didn’t want that idea to stick in his head. They both absolutely despised doing dishes, their dishwasher was broken and they hadn’t called anyone to fix it yet. Even when the damned thing was working, putting the dishes away was a nightmare. Maybe he needed to at least gets something out of this. “And what if it’s you? What do I win?”

“Nothing.” Hinata said, looking up at him with a soft smile. “Because it’s you.”

And he held the envelope up, showing him the script that clearly said _Kageyama Tobio_. He gapped, unsure of what to say, what to even do, but Hinata was quick to throw his arms around his neck and pull him down to place a million kisses on his lips, nose and cheeks. A choked kind of laughter left him, his chest starting to swell with emotion as the heavy silence was filled with Hinata humming contently while holding his cheeks fondly.

“I’m so proud of you.” He murmured, swaying them from side to side. He tried to get Kageyama to look at him, but his partner was deliberately avoiding his gaze. He suspected it was because he was actually tearing up a bit. Hinata squeezed him into a tight hug and worked the knots of tension from his back. “Hey, hey, you deserve this, Tobio. You absolutely do.”

Kageyama did not say anything, but Hinata could feel exactly what he wanted him to know. It had taken them an excruciating amount of time to even look at the name on the envelope, Hinata feared they were going to be there all day if he didn’t actually open it right then. Kageyama took the paper in his hands and his eyes scanned through the letter, his grip a little too tight. It was filled with details that clouded his brain, so he decided to leave it on the kitchen counter and instead turn to Hinata to kiss him thoughtfully. The feeling of his lips against his own erased every ounce of worry and shock that had coursed through him the moment he read his name in that damned envelope. For as long as he wanted it, things could stay the same, time could stand still, and he could find refuge in Hinata. There, nothing and no one could reach him.

As nice as it was, as much as he basked in Hinata’s sunshiny presence, sooner rather than later he had to move forward. It seemed like in the blink of an eye Kageyama found himself standing in the airport with half of his life tucked into a suitcase. The other half of his life was standing right beside him, holding his hand for comfort and leading him along, because he was sure his feet would not move otherwise.

The truth was that Kageyama hated change. He hated when things around him started shifting and left him with a new scenario, because that meant he didn’t have absolute control. It had been that way since the very beginning, he adopted a form of playing that was harmful to his teammates and even as coaches tried to correct him, he didn’t change, so they benched him. And then Hinata had come along, and forced him to change. He made him angry, uncomfortable, he made him want to punch him in the face and tear his own hair out. Hinata had burned his bad habits out of him, and even if he became a better player and a better person, even if by the end of it he realized the love of his life was right next to him, the process had resembled absolute hell.

And now it was happening again. This time it hasn’t Hinata, it was something much larger than the two of them, forcing him to leave his life in Miyagi behind, to put away the comfort and familiarity of it all, forcing him to let go of the life he had grown so used to. He was happier than he had ever been, training with his teammates, feeling a strong sense of belonging with his team, bickering with Hinata over who needs to do the dishes that day, it was almost as if every piece of his life was nicely fitting together.

And then his childhood dream had come true, and everything was starting to grind and misalign again. It was cruelly ironic. He was about to move to Tokyo, live there for as long as it was necessary to train with the best players in Japan, then he had to fly overseas to represent _the whole country_ in the Olympics, and then it was almost certain he would get calls from teams in Tokyo asking him to play for them. It was all laid down in front of him, the one thing he needed to do to set everything in motion was take a measly 20-minute flight, so why was it being so goddamn hard?

The truth he was facing was that he was absolutely terrified.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Hinata said, sensing his uneasiness. “I’m just letting you go on ahead, okay?”

“Okay.” he agreed, still clutching Hinata’s hand like a lifeline.

“You promised me.” Hinata continued, tilting his head to meet his eyes. He was seemingly calm, keeping his composure for the sake of his partner but feeling he needed to say something. He needed to let him know how he felt before he was out of his grasp. “Remember? Tokyo’s gymnasium, red uniform.”

“I know.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.” Hinata placed a firm hand on his cheek and Kageyama sighed, his touch soothing his nervousness for a heartbeat and making his tense muscles go lax. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” he murmured against Hinata’s hair, pulling him into another tight hug. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to let go. But he had to, his plane was leaving soon. Still, he stayed stubborn, holding the precious human being against his chest for a couple more moments. It was Hinata the one that pulled away, but it was to complain about something sharp digging in his cheek. That’s when Kageyama remembered the especially important thing tugged under his shirt, the thing that _he could not under any circumstance forget about._

Shit. Fuck. The hustle of people around him getting up to board already made his hands shake as he hastily pulled the necklace out of his shirt and over his head.

“Here.” He took Hinata’s hand and placed the chain on it. Hinata’s eyes widened as he examined the shiny metal pooling in his open palm. There was a simple golden ring with a silver chain looped through it, and when Hinata snapped his head up to look at Kageyama, his partner was looking away with his cheeks slightly reddened.

“Kageyama…” he breathed out, blinking in astonishment and looking from the ring in his hand to his partner and back again. He felt like his head was spinning out of control with derailed thoughts. “What…?”

“It’s a promise ring.” Kageyama explained, his voice hoarse, one of his hands coming up to tug at the back strands of his hair. “I… I just didn’t find the right time to give it to you so…” _so I ran out of time and now I’m here making a fool of myself_. He didn’t exactly know when the idea had popped into his head, but one day after practice he had gone out and gotten the rings instead of going back home. Then the next day he reflected a bit more and realized they were volleyball players, they couldn’t wear rings, so he went out again and got chains so they could have them as a necklace under their shirts.

He was never one for object sentimentality or good luck charms, he knew they didn’t _need_ rings, their promise to each other was still untouched even after all these years and he was sure neither of them had forgotten. But as they started to have less and less time for each other, as the opportunities to train together became rarer and further apart, Kageyama found himself thinking it would be good to have a physical thing he could hold onto when he felt overwhelmed and reminded him what the goal was. He had worn the chain discretely, liking the weight of the ring constant against his heart, and then he got so used to it he basically forgot. It was a miracle Hinata had never pointed out that Kageyama, who was bothered by all accessories including rings, bracelets and necklaces, now seemed to have a thin silver chain peeking over his collar when he went out in the mornings.

“It’s… It’s too big for me.” Hinata said, snapping him back to reality. He was holding out his hand and the ring hung loose from his finger. He had that stunned expression that Kageyama knew all too well, the one he always had when there was something that baffled him, and he didn’t know what to say or how to react. It was cute.

“Yeah, ‘cause that one’s mine.” Kageyama said, quickly rummaging through his backpack. Hinata watched him in shocked silence as he pulled yet another chain, showing him the ring that was entirely too small for Kageyama’s finger. “You have to give it back to me, w-when we meet over there. Then I’ll give you yours, okay?”

“Okay.” Hinata agreed, and choked back a sob that broke Kageyama’s heart. The tears were bittersweet, knowing this was something his partner had wanted ever since he was little, but also aware of how painful it was going to be for the both of them. Hinata had told himself he needed to be strong, he couldn’t be something to hold Kageyama back from bettering himself as a player, from pursuing his passion even if it widened the gap between them. He promised he would be strong, but when Kageyama, the person he loved most in the world, offered him their lifelong promise in the form a ring and basically told him he was waiting for him on the other side, how could he not burst into tears?

Kageyama kissed him thoughtfully as one last bitter goodbye before he had to go, leaving Hinata clutching the ring, the hard edges biting his palm. He stood there until his partner disappeared through the gates with one last glance, feeling the crazy beating of his heart and the sour taste on his tongue. He breathed in and out slowly, put the chain around his neck letting Kageyama’s ring rest solidly against his chest, and walked out the airport.

He had work to do, and couldn’t keep his partner waiting.

.

Eventually, Kageyama found himself standing in line with his teammates, listening to the coach say they had new recruits and that they should warmly welcome them and show them the ropes. Eventually, he saw a short young man bowing in front of the team, his bright orange hair cut short and his eyes filled with child-like wonder. The veterans had rarely seeing Kageyama smile, and surely not as brightly as he did that day.

They pretended not to know each other, and the other guys saw right through the lie. When they busted out the freak quick for the first time in years, it only solidified the fact that Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou were meant to be on the same team (they were meant to be in another sense as well). Ever since that performance, they were basically considered a pair pack, do not separate, and no coach was about to make the foolish decision of recruiting a player without their greatest booster. They made each other better, both in the court and out of it. They eventually returned the rings to their rightful owner, but never once did they stop wearing them.

Kageyama had promised Hinata to be in Tokyo’s gymnasium wearing a red uniform, and when that was done he promised a World Stadium wearing the black uniform of their away games. Then he promised him a medal, or two. After all of his promises had being fulfilled, after London and Beijing and countless other wins and loses across Japan and Asia, Kageyama decided to promise something a little different, which was to love him and respect him until death did them part. Hinata said yes and promised the exact same thing.

.

How long had it been already? 10? 15 years since the last time they stood in front of the big Nishinoya residence? It felt flat out weird to find themselves in a mirror situation after everything had changed, when the last time they were on that couch was when they had been devastated over the loss of a high school tournament and decided a sleepover was the next best thing to do.

Inside there was everyone they remembered and somehow it was a room full of strangers. There were sparks, mere glimpses of the teenagers they used to be, but after just a couple of minutes the old camaraderie of the Karasuno volleyball team was back like an old flame. Their lives were so wildly different, felt like they had drifted away from each other only to be reconnected again in the span of just minutes, their old bonds resurfacing, laughing together and enjoying each other’s company.

Because no matter how much time had passed, how different everyone was from when they met, they were all still very much a family. And they would always be one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it ends  
I want to thank each and every one of you for joining me on this journey, it was a pleasure writing this story and getting to share it with all of you. The kudos and comments always warmed my heart, and motivated me to keep going even when I felt stuck. I hope this little project (it was supposed to be little and silly, at first at least) brought you some joy to get through the day. Lots of love from me, and keep flying high~  
<3


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